Ottakee Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Yesteday afternoon I got on facebook and looked at the pictures a college girl had just posted of her brother's wedding. Most of the pictures were beautiful ones of the wedding, guests, cake, bridal party, etc. The last few though were of the car decorated to leave. One had it written on the window "Gonna Get Some Tonight" and then another one had something very lewd written on it in slang that this mom googled as I didnt' know what it was but now that I do, I certainly don't want to have to explain it to anyone. This groom in this wedding is quite involved with the youth group at church---interim youth pastor right now. I don't know who wrote this stuff on the windows of the car (we weren't at the wedding/reception) and I don't know if they removed it before driving away or not. Would you have said something to the girl or her mom about the pictures on facebook? They have younger siblings and lots of facebook "friends" from the church that are teens and younger kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Normally I wouldn't, but given the groom's role as youth advisor at church, I would consider it. Especially if you know the mom well enough to say it in a quiet, "Pssst, just trying to spare your kids some embarrassment here..." sort of way. Much depends on your relationship with them. However, I would expect that someone even closer to them might have seen those photos and mentioned it already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 No, I wouldn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TracieT Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I probably wouldn't. I'd hope someone might say something, but unless I was VERY close to them I wouldn't say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Yes, specifically because he's in a position overseeing youth in the church. What others wrote on his car may not say anything about him personally (HE did not write it), but there are people who would perceive such photos quite negatively, and this could absolutely impact his standing in his church position. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 (edited) I would phone the mom, in other words, NOT use facebook. (eta: I'm assuming you know this person irl) I think it's appropriate, especially if the slang might not be understood. It reminds me of a thread here when someone accidentally gave their daughter a t-shirt with inappropriate slang. It was a good thing that someone said psst...that shirt means something else. (eta: the groom's mom might not know that what is says is lewd.) It doesn't sound like the bride and groom posted the pics. They might have driven off and stopped at a gas station to wash it off and would feel awful that the pics are there. If the bride and groom did post the pics then it's their choice. What if the girl posted a photo of the bride picking her nose, the groom scratching himself or other embarrassing photo? Would people say, 'hey, take those down'? To me the car photos are embarrassing. :rant:I'm not a fan of how people share pics. In the olden days, no one would make multiple copies of random photos to share with anyone they "know". I know so many adults who have no issues with posting pics of other people's kids! Can you imagine in the days of printed photos another parent taking a photo of your kid, making multiple copies and sending them to all their 'friends'? We'd be creeped out...now it's just normal...arrrg.:rant: Edited June 14, 2011 by happi duck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoforjoy Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Yes, specifically because he's in a position overseeing youth in the church. What others wrote on his car may not say anything about him personally (HE did not write it), but there are people who would perceive such photos quite negatively, and this could absolutely impact his standing in his church position. I would say that, if you knew him well enough to broach the subject with him directly, all of this would be true, and it might be good to say something about how the pictures could be perceived. However, I don't really see any reason, if you don't have that relationship with him, to inform his mother. It sounds like both he and his sister are adults, and I think it would only be appropriate to discuss the pictures with them directly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellesmere Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 No. You didn't say if it was at your church or not, but still I would advise not saying anything. You weren't at the wedding, you saw the photos on someone else's page -- not the bride's or groom's. Saying something will probably not do you any favors and I've seen so many situations like this go badly. I know of people that saw pictures that they thought (and probably were) risque and they spoke up with good intentions. Speak up only if you know you will get a favorable response or are prepared to lose friends on Facebook if it is taken the wrong way. Usually it is. And yep, happi duck, I can't stand that every time I go to a child's birthday party I'm supposed to take for granted that my kid's pictures will appear on their FB page to share with a bunch of strangers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 :rant:I'm not a fan of how people share pics. In the olden days, no one would make multiple copies of random photos to share with anyone they "know". I know so many adults who have no issues with posting pics of other people's kids! Can you imagine in the days of printed photos another parent taking a photo of your kid, making multiple copies and sending them to all their 'friends'? We'd be creeped out...now it's just normal...arrrg.:rant: I've got pictures of me when I was a child with my friends. Their families had me in their pictures too. No one thought it was strange. I just think now it's different because we are all aware of possible criminal happenings. But I'm really not bothered by my kids having their pictures on facebook whether they put them there or they are posted by friends. I also have 5 years worth of high school yearbooks. Those went out to hundreds of people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 If it were my wedding and I was the bride, I would be horrified by that experience! It's bad enough that someone wrote them on the car--but now they are posted on the internet. Yes, I probably would say something to someone who could get those photos removed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I've got pictures of me when I was a child with my friends. Their families had me in their pictures too. No one thought it was strange. I just think now it's different because we are all aware of possible criminal happenings. But I'm really not bothered by my kids having their pictures on facebook whether they put them there or they are posted by friends. I also have 5 years worth of high school yearbooks. Those went out to hundreds of people. I'm replying to have an excuse to not do the dishes. :D I'm not arguing...really, I'm not! Okay, maybe I'm arguing a little but it's just for fun! If we were irl you'd know I'm just enjoying the discussion and not trying to insist on agreement. (thought, you know, I am practically perfect in every way and it'd be sorta *dumb* not to agree with me, just sayin'...) :001_smile: I don't think it's strange to be in photos. I don't think it's strange to be in the photo album of a friend or family member. I think it's strange to randomly share photos of other people's kids with everyone you (sorta) know. I'm guessing the photos you have of you and your friends were not duplicated and mailed to hundreds of people. Yearbooks aren't randomly distributed and the people who own them 'make sense'. Plus, at my school we signed a release giving permission to have photos printed. I'm not against people seeing photos of my family...I just don't understand posting everything to facebook. I know people who clear their cameras to facebook. New Year's day morning you could see allll the photos from the night before: dd not looking at the camera, dd a few seconds later noticing the camera, dd a few seconds later smiling for the camera, dd a few seconds later yawning not realizing the photo is being taken, a few back ends in a random photo of the room, photos of people looking strange because they were caught mid-word etc. etc. I still contend that it's weird for an adult to take and share on a massive scale individual photos of someone else's kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted June 14, 2011 Author Share Posted June 14, 2011 Ok. Here is what I did. I called the groom's mother last night and let her know about the pictures. We belong to a small church and we do know the family quite well. I honestly don't know if the girl that posted the pictures knew what the phrases meant. Another thing is that he is applying for a position of youth pastor at our church and pictures like that if gotten around much would likely ruin his chances. I could not go to him personally as they are gone on a honeymoon. Hopefully this was the right thing to do. The mom did thank me and said I might have saved some trouble. The pictures were removed a few minutes later. I just know as a mom I would want someone to clue me in as I had to google the phrase to k ow what it said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Ok. Here is what I did. I called the groom's mother last night and let her know about the pictures. We belong to a small church and we do know the family quite well. I honestly don't know if the girl that posted the pictures knew what the phrases meant. Another thing is that he is applying for a position of youth pastor at our church and pictures like that if gotten around much would likely ruin his chances. I could not go to him personally as they are gone on a honeymoon. Hopefully this was the right thing to do. The mom did thank me and said I might have saved some trouble. The pictures were removed a few minutes later. I just know as a mom I would want someone to clue me in as I had to google the phrase to k ow what it said. Well done! Congratulations on stepping out of your comfort zone to do the right thing. I wouldn't be surprised if one day you received a personal thank you from the bride and groom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I think either way you did no harm. It is nice you looked out for him given that he is applying for that position. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 Ok. Here is what I did. I called the groom's mother last night and let her know about the pictures. We belong to a small church and we do know the family quite well. I honestly don't know if the girl that posted the pictures knew what the phrases meant. Another thing is that he is applying for a position of youth pastor at our church and pictures like that if gotten around much would likely ruin his chances. I could not go to him personally as they are gone on a honeymoon. Hopefully this was the right thing to do. The mom did thank me and said I might have saved some trouble. The pictures were removed a few minutes later. I just know as a mom I would want someone to clue me in as I had to google the phrase to k ow what it said. Sounds like a good resolution. :thumbup1: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too Posted June 14, 2011 Share Posted June 14, 2011 I've got pictures of me when I was a child with my friends. Their families had me in their pictures too. No one thought it was strange. I just think now it's different because we are all aware of possible criminal happenings. But I'm really not bothered by my kids having their pictures on facebook whether they put them there or they are posted by friends. I also have 5 years worth of high school yearbooks. Those went out to hundreds of people. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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