An annual whine

[StephanieZ]

Here's my second annual whine. . .

 

All the homeschoolers around here are going off to public school! OK, not *all* of them, but over the past two weeks I learned that the LAST two academically focused likeminded hs families I know locally IRL are sending the kids to school next year. The *only* kids/parents I will know IRL hsing next year will be very faith based folks or radical unschoolers (and even in those families the older kids go to ps). Of those, one family has similar academic drive, and we get along famously, but have completely different religious/social/political foundations. . . so, we'll cooperatively school a couple subjects (chemistry and literature) and avoid controversial topics.

 

(We live in a fairly small town, and I have absolutely zero time to "get out there" and meet anyone new even if they did exist. . . Plus, I am an introvert and am TIRED of putting my time in getting to know new people so that the kids will have a community, and then, dang it all, those folks I bothered to develop relationships with PUT THEIR KIDS IN SCHOOL. I don't want to do it anymore. I want to be with our long term friends, not shop for new ones every year or two.)

 

All is not lost. We'll be OK. The kids have gobs of friends and outside/community groups. . . I have plenty of wonderful friends and too many outside commitments already. . .

 

But, *I* am feeling *really* isolated as one by one my hs'ing mom-friends get jobs or go back to school and put the kids in ps. (And, no, I already have a job in the family business, and I have not the least little bit of interest to do other work or school ever. . . I look forward to eating bonbons, volunteering, travelling to pester the kids/grandkids, and growing a flower garden when my hs'ing work is done, TYVM.)

 

Yes, I have dear, wonderful friendships, and some of them have even survived well through the transition from both being hs'ing moms to just me hs'ing. . . but it is *hard* to have to watch what I say around every mom I know. (You know, so as to not diss the ps, not gloat about hs'ing, not whine about hs'ing, etc.) I miss the feeling of being in a tribe.

 

OK, rant over. Hugs and commiseration welcome.

 

Thanks.

[MrsBasil]

:grouphug:

[Sushi's Mom]

It sounds like you might not belong to a homeschool group. I highly recommend finding and joining one or two groups. Many groups usually have some kind of regular get together, such as mom's night, co-op style classes, field trips, and clubs.

 

Here are some lists for your state. Hopefully you can find something nearby.

http://www.home-school.com/groups/WV.html

 

http://www.wvhea.org/

 

Good luck!

[Lady Florida.]

Hugs and commiseration welcome.

I can relate to some degree. While there are friends who aren't putting their kids in school, it seems a lot of the teens have chosen public high school over homeschool. The moms say they'll still be around but I've seen it before. Life changes for them. If you're not in the homeschool lifestyle it's different, and eventually they are around less and less until you just don't see them anymore.

 

I'm glad ds has a variety of friends. There are the neighborhood kids who go to public and private school. Unless their families move, they won't fade away just because their school situation changes. And so far the hs kids he's close to are not the ones going to school. Still, he says he'll miss seeing the ones who are going. He doesn't get it. Though he's never been to school, he long ago decided he's no longer curious and is more than happy to be homeschooling (much to his mother's relief).

 

So, there's a bit of commiseration. And now for some :grouphug::grouphug:

[Karen in CO]

It seems to happen in waves around here. One year will have lots of homeschoolers leaving and another will only have a few. Hopefully most of my friends who homeschool currently will keep homeschooling at least until about 8th grade when they'll start to panic and look at ps. My dd10 even has her eye on a dual-enrollment program for high school.

 

I have noticed that every time my dd gets a really close female friend the girl either goes to ps the next year or her dad gets a job in another state - she's lost three close friends like that so far.

[Plucky]

I totally sympathize. My kids' friends start trickling into middle school and then flood into high school. There really are very few of us that homeschool all the way through (we dabble in ps & then do running start though).

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm sorry. I can relate. :grouphug: You have us. :001_smile:

[StephanieZ]

It sounds like you might not belong to a homeschool group. I highly recommend finding and joining one or two groups. Many groups usually have some kind of regular get together' date=' such as mom's night, co-op style classes, field trips, and clubs.

 

Here are some lists for your state. Hopefully you can find something nearby.

http://www.home-school.com/groups/WV.html

 

http://www.wvhea.org/

 

Good luck![/quote']

 

Thanks much, but I have no interest in formal groups. TBH, I know most of the families in the local groups and am technically a member of two of them (WVHEA as well as the local inclusive group) for various purposes (testing, social events). My kids' academic needs (highly accelerated) are not compatible with the hs coops or classes (as placing them by academic level would contradict the desire for bonding with similar ages peers), and I don't have time to give them a day a month, let alone a day a week for junk "school" just for the socializing there or for a park day. My kids schooling is too far along to give up half a day a week for park day (because our "free" time is 100% over committed to music, scouts, book club, etc. I've been hs'ing for a decade, and in this (small) town for 7 years, so I know the options well enough to know that groups are not for us. I know all the moms in the area who've been hs'ing for over a couple years (except those who isolate themselves to only religiously based hs'ing groups) and who have kids similar ages. . . As I said, this is a small region.

 

Anyway, I appreciate the commiseration.

[StephanieZ]

I'm sorry. I can relate. :grouphug: You have us. :001_smile:

 

Thank God for that. :)

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug: I'm introverted too.

[G5052]

Because of state standards and testing, grades 6-9 are the favored times to put them in. I can only think of a few before that, and none after grade 9. So mine have lost a few friends every year. They always say they'll stay in touch, but that really hasn't happened :willy_nilly:.

[StephanieZ]

Yes, as many of you mention, the pressure is on for highschool. Our state will not allow ANY homeschool credits to transfer to highschool, so if you *ever* want a ps diploma, you really need to begin in 9th grade full time. Plus, for math, you've *got* to have ALgebra on your high school transcript for a ps diploma (the law is written "Algebra plus two more years of math" or something like that), so if you haven't taken it at a "real" school, you have to retake it in highschool if you transfer to ps from homeschool. If you have accelerated math students, this creates a pressure to at least put them in part time in middle school (typically math and foreign language) so that they don't start high school and have to repeat subjects, taking Algebra +/- Geometry with the "slower" kids instead of being on the accelerated math track. Then, once that door is opened, it seems inevitable that they go full time by highschool. UGH.

 

Of my friends, it seems that the older kids start ps in 9th grade, but then once there is only one child under 9th grade, the pressure is on, the family has already lost the scheduling flexibility of hs'ing all the kids, the economy of scale of schooling several kids is gone, and the younger ones are now entering ps in middle school by the handful.

 

I think there is an unfortunate coincidence that several of our family friends happened have kids a few years older than my oldest, with overlapping ages tending to be their younger kids overlapping with my older two. . . So, their youngest is around the age of my rising 7th grader. . . and so now that most of their kids are in highschool (and college), they're pushing the younger one into middle school. I guess the thought process likely considers that since the youngest would be the only child at home, they'd be "lonely all day", and also, since getting the youngest off to school allows the mom to work, $$ is a factor. And, then again, they've already lost the nice flexibility/intangible benefits of being a hs'ing family, so that incentive is lost. Some of these moms have very high earning power, which has been idling for many years home with kids, so I guess it starts to feel 'wasteful' to stay home with just one kid when the mom could be working and helping to contribute to the looming huge college costs. . . I get it, I really do, but I hate it. UGH.

 

I guess I need to be thankful that our finances, dh's commitment, and our stubbornness will allow me to remain home forever, Lord willing. I *am* thankful, but I resent that most of my friends can't continue this journey with me.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The good thing is that anyone you meet with high school age kids will be going all the way through.

[StephanieZ]

The good thing is that anyone you meet with high school age kids will be going all the way through.

 

Yes, this is true! Maybe I need to go ahead and explore some of the (very limited) homeschool academic offerings for high schoolers. Unfortunately, the ones that might have been most appealing were science, and I already have a double science year planned (that will also be cooperative, so will be providing some social/bonding). Maybe I'll explore options to try to find some academic stuff for hs'ers. . .

 

Nice thinking! THanks!