Veritaserum Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Don't just walk in. :glare: The two times (before today) that MIL and FIL have come over since moving out, they just walked in through the door from the garage into the kitchen. Um, one of the reasons I wanted them out was because of the barging in. Both times I said (when I saw that they were in the house), "Oh, I didn't hear you knock." It was ignored, even when I repeated the comment. @@ Today I knew they were coming, so I locked the door. Sure enough, they tried to enter through the garage. Still didn't get the hint and started knocking. I ignored the knocking until MIL came to the front door and rang the bell. She said she needed to open the door for FIL. I played dumb and asked why he didn't come to the front door with her (I had to ask twice because she ignored me the first time). She said he was in the garage. I said that we would prefer them to come to the front door and I got back our garage door opener. She seemed upset by both requests, but I'm going to keep working on establishing boundaries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just tell them you're more comfortable with them knocking. And keep telling them if they keep barging in. "Hints" actually offend me more than hearing someone speak the truth in a pleasant way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just tell them you're more comfortable with them knocking. And keep telling them if they keep barging in. "Hints" actually offend me more than hearing someone speak the truth in a pleasant way. Yes, I explicitly stated it today (second paragraph). :) Getting back the garage door opener should also prevent them from coming through the garage in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 You did fine. You ils just have a learning curve to move through. They have to really come to understand it's no longer their home. Congrats on getting the garage door opener back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeganW Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just after we got married, my inlaws (who lived over an hour away), decided to just drop by at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. We were newlyweds - what do you think we were doing?? We peeked out, saw it was them, and didn't answer the door. Then they CALLED from the driveway. Peeked in the garage, saw both cars, and kept calling, knocking, and ringing the doorbell. I finally had to go to the door, open in about 4 inches, and say "Oh, I wish you called first! I am so sorry - it's just not a good time to visit". "Oh, whatcha doing?" "I'm sorry, it's just NOT A GOOD TIME for us to have visitors. Maybe we can schedule a time to visit next week - give me a call!" "Is everything OK, hon?" "Yes, it just is not a good time right now." "Do you have company or something?" "I'm sorry, it just isn't a good time for us." This continued about 10 more times. I just refused to answer, and refused to open the door and let them in. We had to repeat that little exchange on 3 separate occasions before they finally realized that I really wasn't going to let them just come over unannounced. Very awkward, but I am so glad we established that understanding early! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 When we moved 200 yards from my inlaws 6 years ago, we went through the same thing. And, to make it worse, we were in the middle of a cup of TeA and dh got right up, put on his clothes, and went out to meet them!!!!!!! After that, I invested in a security alarm...telling DH all the while that we needed it when he traveled. In honesty, I used it to scare off the inlaws! I told them that they just never know when I will have the alarm set, so they better knock to keep from setting it off. It worked and they stopped just walking in the door. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just after we got married, my inlaws (who lived over an hour away), decided to just drop by at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. We were newlyweds - what do you think we were doing?? We peeked out, saw it was them, and didn't answer the door. Then they CALLED from the driveway. Peeked in the garage, saw both cars, and kept calling, knocking, and ringing the doorbell. I finally had to go to the door, open in about 4 inches, and say "Oh, I wish you called first! I am so sorry - it's just not a good time to visit". "Oh, whatcha doing?" "I'm sorry, it's just NOT A GOOD TIME for us to have visitors. Maybe we can schedule a time to visit next week - give me a call!" "Is everything OK, hon?" "Yes, it just is not a good time right now." "Do you have company or something?" "I'm sorry, it just isn't a good time for us." This continued about 10 more times. I just refused to answer, and refused to open the door and let them in. We had to repeat that little exchange on 3 separate occasions before they finally realized that I really wasn't going to let them just come over unannounced. Very awkward, but I am so glad we established that understanding early! Oh my word! :lol: My parents call first and knock. I need to keep training dh's parents now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 They just come right in??? How rude. What if you were making a naked dash from the bathroom to the bedroom or something??? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 They just come right in??? How rude. What if you were making a naked dash from the bathroom to the bedroom or something??? :001_huh: that would be a great way to ensure it wouldn't happen again. At least for most people.... This is a pet peeve of mine. Even though you are family, please a.) call before you come over to make sure it is a good time. and b.) knock before entering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 They just come right in??? How rude. What if you were making a naked dash from the bathroom to the bedroom or something??? :001_huh: I don't think that would deter her. When they lived with us, she would often pop up late in the evening and come into my bedroom (where I may or may not be clothed). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I don't think that would deter her. When they lived with us, she would often pop up late in the evening and come into my bedroom (where I may or may not be clothed). Oh my word:svengo: She is lucky you were nice enough to put up with her for three years. It's like an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Keep training her, she needs it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 I don't think that would deter her. When they lived with us, she would often pop up late in the evening and come into my bedroom (where I may or may not be clothed). wow! She didn't realize how rude that was? Is there something wrong with her like Alzheimers or something? My mil walked RIGHT in the house when we were newlyweds. It was HOT, we hadn't had air at the time, and we were watching tv in our underwear. We never left the doors unlocked after that. RUDE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted June 10, 2011 Author Share Posted June 10, 2011 wow! She didn't realize how rude that was? Is there something wrong with her like Alzheimers or something? No. She is of sound mind. She just doesn't always seem to use it and think things through. She wouldn't care if I came in when she isn't dressed. I always knocked, but there were a few times that she said to come in and she wasn't dressed. I don't happen to be as open. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitworth Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Don't just walk in. :glare: God I hate that. At least you were tactful. We had relatives do just that when we were taking care of Rebekah's grandmother. My problem is that I have zero patience for that sort of behavior. When my relatives have shown disrespect to my family I have no qualm adressing the issue directly. Clearly you have more time on heaven's parking meter. I'm still digging for change. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 Just after we got married, my inlaws (who lived over an hour away), decided to just drop by at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. We were newlyweds - what do you think we were doing?? We peeked out, saw it was them, and didn't answer the door. Then they CALLED from the driveway. Peeked in the garage, saw both cars, and kept calling, knocking, and ringing the doorbell. I finally had to go to the door, open in about 4 inches, and say "Oh, I wish you called first! I am so sorry - it's just not a good time to visit". "Oh, whatcha doing?" "I'm sorry, it's just NOT A GOOD TIME for us to have visitors. Maybe we can schedule a time to visit next week - give me a call!" "Is everything OK, hon?" "Yes, it just is not a good time right now." "Do you have company or something?" "I'm sorry, it just isn't a good time for us." This continued about 10 more times. I just refused to answer, and refused to open the door and let them in. We had to repeat that little exchange on 3 separate occasions before they finally realized that I really wasn't going to let them just come over unannounced. Very awkward, but I am so glad we established that understanding early! Okay, this is just weird. I mean, it's one thing to be clueless, but this almost seems intentional. Ick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted June 10, 2011 Share Posted June 10, 2011 We were staying with my IL's for awhile before and after dd was born. She was crying one night and it was right after dh came to bed. She just hadn't settled down yet and we had planned to read out of the bible to her, she was a few days to a week old. Our door was closed, she came in and said she had to take dd so she wouldn't cry. As she closed the door, I looked and dh and said she is your mother. She overheard and apologized to dh the next morning. That didn't happen again, but there are still major boundary issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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