Rivka Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Many months ago, my career mentor suggested that I attend a particular professional conference. She thought that the people there would find my work interesting, that I would meet people who could help me in my work, and that the presentations would really interest me. As a bonus, I would also get to meet her in real life for the first time. (Our mentoring relationship takes place over the phone.) I submitted some of my recent research, and was asked to give an oral presentation at the conference. I have money in my grant to pay for the trip. Did I mention that the conference is being held in Miami Beach, in a hotel that faces directly onto the beach? I've been so excited about the trip. Professionally it would be really, really good for me. And personally, two nights in a quiet clean hotel room with no one constantly wanting things from me all the time... yeah. I can't even tell you how much I need that. I called today and cancelled my reservations. My father-in-law died last week. I was supposed to leave for the conference on Sunday. It just isn't right for my husband or my kids, for me to go away right now. He's not ready for the strain of 100% solo parenting for three days. The kids just spent a week with their lives and routines totally disrupted, living out of a hotel room and dealing with strange situations and strange reactions from the adults in their lives. They're not ready for their mom to go away. (It would be the first time for my two-year-old.) The right thing is for me not to go. Really, I can't go - I never had time to write my talk. There's no question that my family comes first, and this is what my family needs. I truly wouldn't feel right if I did go. I know that. And yet... is it wrong of me to be sad that I'm missing the conference? I'm so disappointed. I really wanted to go. Next year feels awfully far away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I'm sorry for your loss and all the unexpected hardships that came along with it. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I'm sorry for your loss and all your family has been through. It's not wrong of you to be disappointed. Not at all. It's perfectly normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: How disappointing - I get it. You are a great mama and wife though and your research/presentation will surely be a success when the opportunity arises again. It's so difficult to wear all those hats. You are doing an admirable job! Sorry for the loss of your fil. Treat yourself to something special at home even if it is small. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 So sorry. :grouphug: I know you must be very disappointed. I would love to know more about your presentation. Next year will be here before you know it. Maybe then you will not have so much on your mind and will be able to concentrate and relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: I''m so sorry, it is not at all wrong for you to be sad. I would venture to say that anyone would be totally frustrated and disappointed in your position. Is there anything you can do by way of compensation to cheer yourself up? Maybe a day or half a day off by yourself to do something you'd really love? It might be good for Dad too, to help him to learn how to deal with the littles on his own ;). Or maybe just a fun day out as a family? I'm sure you'll get many more opportunities in the future, I've really appreciated reading your posts here, and have looked at your blog too :001_smile:, you seem like a very talented lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 And yet... is it wrong of me to be sad that I'm missing the conference? I'm so disappointed. I really wanted to go. Next year feels awfully far away. Aw, anyone would be disappointed. I'm so sorry it turned out this way. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 Not wrong to be sad about missing the conference. :grouphug: Maybe you can all do something fun together to get everyone's minds off of the grief for a little bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I don't think that's selfish at all - and it's quite understandable that you're disappointed; I would be too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 I'm so sorry to hear about your FIL. :( I think that feeling disappointed is totally understandable so whine away! But I think you made a very unselfish decision that was for the good of your family and you are a great mom for that. :grouphug: Next year will come soon enough and it will be a great experience because you will be fully prepared and won't have the distractions or concerns that would be happening if you went now. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted May 21, 2011 Share Posted May 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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