Question for former teachers or spouses of teachers

[Maverick_Mom]

When I was reading the posts on the "Why do you homeschool?" thread, I noticed that several posters who are former teachers or who are married to teachers said that their or their spouse's experiences in the classroom influenced their decision to homeschool. That's not surprising. But it got me thinking. There are many teachers who staunchly defend their public school classrooms and insist that they are superior to any other mode of education. How can it be that they are praising the same system that made other teachers want to homeschool their children? What are they not seeing, or what are they interpreting differently?

[Barb_]

When I was reading the posts on the "Why do you homeschool?" thread, I noticed that several posters who are former teachers or who are married to teachers said that their or their spouse's experiences in the classroom influenced their decision to homeschool. That's not surprising. But it got me thinking. There are many teachers who staunchly defend their public school classrooms and insist that they are superior to any other mode of education. How can it be that they are praising the same system that made other teachers want to homeschool their children? What are they not seeing, or what are they interpreting differently?

 

No teachers in my family, but I know many teachers in my neighborhood who are on one side of the fence or the other (against homeschooling or wishing they could do it themselves). Teachers who are staunchly anti-homeschooling tend to blame their schools' problems primarily on the parents and students. Those who wish to homeschool themselves (or do it) primarily blame the nature of the institution. YMMV, of course but this is the overarching trend I've noticed.

 

Barb

[Daisy]

No teachers in my family, but I know many teachers in my neighborhood who are on one side of the fence or the other (against homeschooling or wishing they could do it themselves). Teachers who are staunchly anti-homeschooling tend to blame their schools' problems primarily on the parents and students. Those who wish to homeschool themselves (or do it) primarily blame the nature of the institution. YMMV, of course but this is the overarching trend I've noticed.

 

Barb

 

:iagree:

 

The coworkers who have a problem with our family homeschooling usually say

 

1. They are frustrated that we are taking all the good students out of school.

2. They are worried that fewer students will equal fewer teachers and less money.

3. They feel we are "bucking the system" so we can teach our children our crazy brand of conservative Christianity.

 

Overall there are very FEW teachers who feel this way. My husband works with 40 other teachers and he says he knows about 4 who don't approve of our choice.

 

On the flip side if you were to ask 40 of our conservative church-going friends, you'd find far more than 10% who disapproved of our choice to homeschool. :001_huh:

[sbgrace]

Most of the teachers I know, my former coworkers/friends and grandparents/siblings who are teachers, aren't opposed to homeschooling.

 

I suspect, actually, you would find more support among teachers than the general population. Similarly, I would suspect that those teachers who don't support it probably have very similar concerns/misconceptions as the general population such as socialization or how will they teach chemistry?? etc.

 

I often see people report that they were surprised to find that teacher x was supportive at the dinner party or etc. I actually think the thought that teachers as a whole are opposed to homeschooling is a misconception. It may be because teacher unions tend to oppose funding to support alternative schooling (charter, homeschooling, etc.)? I don't know. But I actually think you would find most teachers aren't opposed to homeschooling assuming the parent is involved--as a teacher you run across kids pulled for "homeschooling" just to avoid truancy laws or such and no real education is intended.

Edited May 20, 2011 by sbgrace

[DawnM]

I am exhausted so I am not sure I will make much sense. I am very pro-public education. I am also very pro-homeschooling.

 

I worked in a very inner city high school. I know that 99% of the kids there will only get a chance for education in public school. I am very pro all of them getting the best education we as teachers can give them.

 

However, do I feel that education is best for my children? Not necessarily. I have a special needs son who benefits greatly from 1 on 1 schooling. He would not get that in the public school.

 

I also feel that socially, religiously, morally, and educationally, my children are best served at home.

 

That doesn't make me anti-school.

 

Dawn

[T'smom]

I used to be a teacher. Lots of my students were better off at school than they would have been at home. For most (probably all) of us here, school has bullies, bad food, etc. For lots of kids- school is a safe haven where there is food and no violence. When you see SO many kids who have it so bad.....it colors your perceptions.

[Maverick_Mom]

I hope I didn't come across as painting teachers in general as anti-homeschool. I don't think it's that black-and-white.

 

I'm just intrigued by the fact that some teachers react to the system by vowing never to put their own kids in it, and others react to it by defending it to the end. Though schools differ widely, there are certain things about "the system" that are consistent; but they evoke different responses from different quarters.

 

For example, some people want to homeschool because of safety issues or because of bullying. How could a teacher defend the public schools in the face of very real concerns like those?

[Maverick_Mom]

I used to be a teacher. Lots of my students were better off at school than they would have been at home. For most (probably all) of us here' date=' school has bullies, bad food, etc. For lots of kids- school is a safe haven where there is food and no violence. When you see SO many kids who have it so bad.....it colors your perceptions.[/quote']

 

That makes a lot of sense.

[Old Dominion Heather]

I think one can choose not to put their own kids in and still defend it to the end (or at least defend the teachers, if not the bureaucracy).

 

Every kid deserves to learn in the least restrictive environment for that child. For some kids, that means learning at home, for some, public school is the best chance they have. I chose not to put my kids in because of many issues, eldest has vision issues and was doing long division at four years old... in his head. I had taught in the schools and I know they were overburdened... heck, I was overburdened. I knew that he would be a burden on the system and that they couldn't provide the best education for him.

 

I do think that homeschooling is somewhat elitist... That is an issue that concerns and worries me. I'm just not sure what to do about it.

[Barb_]

:iagree:

 

The coworkers who have a problem with our family homeschooling usually say

 

1. They are frustrated that we are taking all the good students out of school.

2. They are worried that fewer students will equal fewer teachers and less money.

3. They feel we are "bucking the system" so we can teach our children our crazy brand of conservative Christianity.

 

Overall there are very FEW teachers who feel this way. My husband works with 40 other teachers and he says he knows about 4 who don't approve of our choice.

 

On the flip side if you were to ask 40 of our conservative church-going friends, you'd find far more than 10% who disapproved of our choice to homeschool. :001_huh:

 

When I began my homeschooling journey, teachers were...well, even if not 100% against it, I don't remember anyone who spoke positively about my decision to teach my daughter myself. That has changed radically over the years. The shift started about 10 years ago and now I rarely encounter anyone, teacher or otherwise, who is completely negative about homeschooling. Lots of fence-sitters, but more and more I get curiosity and encouragement instead of criticism or the hairy eyeball.

 

Barb

[Barb_]

 

I do think that homeschooling is somewhat elitist... That is an issue that concerns and worries me. I'm just not sure what to do about it.

 

Hmmm. I think it's more democratic than private school, don't you? I mean, yes there are a lot of potential stumbling blocks..time, will, confidence, etc...but in theory anyone who is interested enough can homeschool or at least afterschool while private school is largely out of reach for most.

 

Barb

[Diana B]

I've got many many friends who are public school teachers. I have wondered the same thing myself about why some choose not to send their children and why some defend it.

 

I recently had a friend who is a middle school English teacher tell me that the library budget in her school district was on the verge of being cut. This would mean the libraries they had would stay open, but no librarians, no new books, and no additional services. She told me that if this happened she would seriously consider homeschooling. (She has never been anti-homeschooling, but hadn't really considered it until now.)

 

I've also got a teacher friend who would tell me horrific stories about what happens in the schools - and then a minute later tell me she can't wait til she can send her little ones to school to get them out of her hair. :confused: (She was a former teacher, her dh is still a teacher, but she is a SAHM now.)

 

I wonder if some of their defense comes down to the fact that they know its failing but they also know they are trying SO HARD. They don't want to admit that there are options that are better. It would be hard to invest your life in a dream - and then once you get wrapped up in it you realize that in its current position there isn't much you can do. I can see how it would make you defensive. Even if you kinda know in the back of your mind that you are wrong.

 

*shrugs*

 

Just a thought.

[Pax]

My aunt was a school teacher for many many years in a very small logging town. She is and has always been a huge public school proponent. She recently retired and is now doing a paper pushing type job. She no longer feels that she can do her job. She felt she could no longer teach the children, because she was so busy teaching the tests.

 

I am in a district where all of the librarians have been cut for next year, drama and PE have been cut from middle schools, all of the assistant principals are being cut from elementary, they are shutting down 6 small schools but opening three or four very large ones. Next year, we've been told to expect at least double the cuts we are seeing this year.

 

I'm on the good side of town so my high school child doesn't have to pass through metal detectors to get into school yet but I hear talk about that for next year. Out of the 7 high schools in my city, two of them do not have metal detectors. Out of the however many middle schools, 4 or 5 don't have them. My high schooler is in the IB program and even that program seems to be failing.

 

I think that the teachers that know me, and many do as I've been very active with my older child's schools, respect my decision. At least I've never encountered disrespect to my face!

[SunD]

Well, I got to see "behind the scenes" when I was just a student, since my aunt was working in an administrative job at my school. I actually considered myself friends with a few of my teachers and even the vice principal, chatting with them as they did their after-school work (while waiting for my aunt every day).

 

They all admit that the public school system has tons of flaws. My aunt has books by John Holt on her shelf. But I sort of agree with djbartch ... they are trying SO HARD to make a difference for the kids, and help other teachers, but they can actually do so little. My own decision to homeschool is based on my (and DH's) experience in the system here. I should have been accelerated but never was. Rather, most of the teachers "used" me as a tutor. TAG was a pull-out program one hour per week, and we did nothing in it. DH still struggles with dyslexia but never got any sort of help for it. Most of his teachers just didn't notice ... tbh, most of them couldn't read or spell well themselves. From speaking to the ones I still keep in contact with, the situation is much the same.

 

When I finally came out and announced that NO, my kids were not going to school, none of them were truly shocked. My aunt is probably the least supportive, and she was also the one trying hardest to get more teacher training, technology grants, etc. She said "I think you got a good education at our school. You had some bad teachers, but not everyone can be a genius." I flat out told her that I did NOT get a good education. The only academic thing anyone EVER taught me was how to read. I learned almost everything I know from reading books, which ... surprise! ... I wasn't allowed to do during school. She's finally conceded that I "got the best education XYZ school can offer", which I agree is true. She thinks that I should put my kids there and advocate for them ... be on the PTA, push their teachers for acceleration, afterschool them, etc.

 

Most of my other teacher friends can see why I would rather just do it myself to begin with, because they've spent years trying to help their students only to be blocked at every turn. One taught reading ("literature", really) and was told she could not fail students who literally couldn't read Where the Red Fern Grows. We had to sit in class and listen to an audiobook. The kids couldn't even follow along because they couldn't read, but she wasn't allowed to fail them (ooh that's mean and unfair, your expectations are too high, and you're saying our elementary teachers failed!) or teach them to read (you will follow the school board's set curriculum, resistance is futile, phonics is for first graders and these are ninth graders). The others have similar stories. They have no problem with my decision.

 

I see the difference as my aunt being so caught up in helping the teachers teach, that she feels we should send our kids to school because they really are trying so hard. The others are focused on helping the students (the teacher mentioned above has her own tutoring business now) and see my choice as best for my kids.

 

I'm coming back because I forgot to add ... I am definitely not anti-school. I think that a lot of public and private schools have a lot of problems, but I did attend a wonderful high school my junior and senior year. There are some great schools out there. I plan to send my kids to that school when they reach 10th grade (it's only 10th, 11th, and 12th grades) if they want to go.

Edited May 20, 2011 by SunD

[huntchaos]

I was a public school teacher, in fact, I still take contract work to train teachers. My husband was a school teacher and is now - gulp- a school administrator. Many of our friends are public educators. None of them have questioned our choice to homeschool.

 

It is a difficult time for schools. They are increasingly being asked to do more with less resources. Many (most I should say) parents do not have the call to homeschool. The public schools are necessary and I know that the work a teacher is asked to do is essentially impossible on even the good days.

[sewingmama]

I did 2 years at Uni preparing to be a teacher - I ditched out because I got married and moved overseas - however in only the first few weeks of my course I had already determined I was going to homeschool. At least 30% of my fellow classmates were failing (badly). I remember at the end of term thinking "I won't see so and so next term" because I knew they failed so badly and I was sure the University would not allow them to keep going. Imagine my suprise when they were all there AND progressed to the next class even though I knew they had failed the pre-req. When I asked a couple about it they all said the same thing "The Uni said we can continue in the course so long as I agree that I will teach in all the remote,outback areas that no one else wants to teach in". I knew then and there I wasn't sending my kids to public school when so many teachers were failing and still being allowed to continue to "make a quota".

 

My DH is a high school teacher. At first he was against homeschooling (he has never thought much about it though till I first mentioned it to him). That was before we had kids though - and now he is adament we are not sending them to school because he knows their personalities will not fit the mold. What my DH is allowed to teach is all caught up with red tape. His specialties are grammer, the classics and Shakespere -however he has been told over and over again by the school admin he is not allowed to teach these because it is "too hard for the students and the parents are complaining that they are failing". My DH works in a private school which is supposed to be the best one in the area. My DH is not allowed to fail students because they don't want the school's reputation to be damaged therefore - they teach to the lowest common denominator - my DH teaches Year 11 and 12 and a lot of the time he can barely get them to write a decent sentence yet he is not allowed to teach grammer because "it's too hard and the student's can't understand it".

 

He is very frustrated with the system and wants our kids to be free of that. Not to mention we live in a low socio-economic area and my DH has dealt with many bad situations with his students - from rape (on the school grounds but the girl would not admit it so nothing could be done) to weapons - to students bringing in porn - and all of this is at a "good, Lutheran school". I won't even mention the State schools in my area - my kids are simply not going.

 

In saying in all that I am not anti-school at all. I know plenty of teachers who are fantastic at their jobs and there are also plenty of schools in Australia I would be happy to send my kids too if I had/wanted too - just not the ones in the area I am currently living in.:D

[twoforjoy]

No teachers in my family, but I know many teachers in my neighborhood who are on one side of the fence or the other (against homeschooling or wishing they could do it themselves). Teachers who are staunchly anti-homeschooling tend to blame their schools' problems primarily on the parents and students. Those who wish to homeschool themselves (or do it) primarily blame the nature of the institution. YMMV, of course but this is the overarching trend I've noticed.

 

I think the "problem" with public school districts that do have serious problems (and I'm not convinced that most do, honestly) lays mostly with the families. But, having seen the outcome of our local public schools with my freshman writers, I don't care who's to blame, it's not a place I'd send my child. We live in Detroit, though, and the public school system here is probably among the worst if not THE worst in the entire nation.

 

Although, while I do not in any way blame teachers or administrators for this, the emphasis on standardized testing is one of our reasons for homeschooling, so I guess to some extent I do "blame" the institution.

 

I will say that I think the public schools, overall, do quite a good job with an incredibly challenging and necessary task. I do think that homeschooling--or any kind of individualized education--is going to be a more ideal choice, but it's simply not realistic to expect many parents to homeschool, and certainly not most, and less-than-ideal is okay. I make less-than-ideal choices for my kids all the time, because that's what works for my family. Less-than-ideal can still be perfectly appropriate and even very, very good. I find it kind of funny (and sad) that so many homeschooling parents feel the need to write off public schools as these terrible, horrible places where everybody just runs wild and no learning at all takes place. If homeschooling is such a great option (and I do think it is), then public schools can be (and I think are) places where people can receive a perfectly adequate or even very good education and we are no less justified in making the choice to homeschool.

[Carrie12345]

There are many teachers in my family, on both sides of the fence. I think some of it comes down to the college they went to and the professors who taught them, and the rest comes from personal experience. I'm sure, in some cases, a bit of ego comes into play, as well.

[twoforjoy]

There are many teachers in my family, on both sides of the fence. I think some of it comes down to the college they went to and the professors who taught them, and the rest comes from personal experience. I'm sure, in some cases, a bit of ego comes into play, as well.

 

To be fair to teachers, if I were dealing with some of the parents they had to deal with on a daily basis, I might conclude that homeschooling is not a good option, too.

 

And ego certainly comes into it on both sides. I have no doubt that ego is part of why some homeschoolers are so quick to vilify the public school system.

[lattekittn]

I am a teacher and so is my husband, and I agree with a lot of what has been said. Of the teachers I know and work with many are actively homeschooling their own kids, or can see why we choose to. There are also those who become almost blindingly loyal to their school community and feel personally offended if parents want to pull their kids out--as if it is because of a failure on their part. I think it is great when teachers are able to become invested in their school, but I also think most of them realize that different schooling situations work for different families.

[Old Dominion Heather]

Hmmm. I think it's more democratic than private school, don't you? I mean, yes there are a lot of potential stumbling blocks..time, will, confidence, etc...but in theory anyone who is interested enough can homeschool or at least afterschool while private school is largely out of reach for most.

 

Barb

 

In theory, and yet... I know those who lack the education to do it well, whole communities lack the support systems to do it well. Single parents with no outside support, children in the foster-care system, etc... they really don't have means to homeschool.

 

Most private schools provide funding for students to attend who would otherwise be unable to attend. I don't know many who willingly homeschool other children for free. But yes, I think private schools are really even more elitist than homeschools. I've known many parents who choose private in order to keep their kids away from the ps kids. I only know one homeschool parent, irl, who would say the same.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

When I was reading the posts on the "Why do you homeschool?" thread, I noticed that several posters who are former teachers or who are married to teachers said that their or their spouse's experiences in the classroom influenced their decision to homeschool. That's not surprising. But it got me thinking. There are many teachers who staunchly defend their public school classrooms and insist that they are superior to any other mode of education. How can it be that they are praising the same system that made other teachers want to homeschool their children? What are they not seeing, or what are they interpreting differently?

 

I haven't taught, but I went through an education program. I think that a lot depends on what school population the teacher is familiar with. If they are used to seeing a large number of students who aren't getting to school regularly, aren't eating well at home, aren't coming to school with homework complete or even appropriate clothing to the weather; then I think it's not surprising that they would be skeptical of parents (in general) taking on the responsibility for actual instruction too.

 

I think that for every family who has stories of frustrated attempts to communicate with classroom teachers or get some kind of response or change made, you will also find a teacher who is holding open houses with few parents showing or getting know response to attempts to address problems with parents.

 

There are some great teachers. There are some great parents (and homeschoolers). Sometimes a kid only has one of these. Sadly, too many have neither.