For those who used to homeschool and now don't, a Question

[Little Nyssa]

Hi, could you please answer this question for me? We are considering all our options for school in September. Thank you in advance!

 

I have this idea that if the kids went to PS instead of HSing, I would have tons of time. My house would be spotless, my meals would be thoughtful, delicious, and on time, I would be physically fit, well rested, and mentally superhealthy. Also, vibrant prayer life. I would practice my Greek and prepare ahead of time for Sunday School teaching. I would keep in touch with old friends and relatives, write letters. And I would have lots of time & energy to do homework with DKs and volunteer on PTA & soup kitchen, etc.

 

On the other hand, I might be just as rushed as I am now but just in a different way.

 

Tell me, am I dreaming? What's the reality of this situation for you? Thank you!!!

[regentrude]

I went the opposite way - from ps to homeschooling. And really: for us, it is not that big a difference.

I think whether one feels rushed has not so much to do with homeschooling or not. I would go as far as to say it does not have much to do with the available time at all. (I know people with fewer responsibilities who constantly feel rushed and overwhelmed - and people who have much more on their plate and who manage everything without hurry and take time for all kinds of things.)

I am not a SAHM, I go to work every day. My house is not spotless because cleaning ranks fairly low on my priority list- it wasn't either when the kids were still in school.

But either way we are physically fit, rested and mentally healthy, keep in touch with friends and have time to pursue activities that are important to us without constantly feeling rushed and out of time.

[debbiec]

LOL! I found that it didn't make much difference either way. My house has not been any cleaner, I have not cooked more thoughtful meals, etc when my kids have been in school. I found that I filled up my time with other things and not even doing the things I "thought" I would spend more time with. But, that is probably just me :)

[Carol in Cal.]

You're completely at the mercy of the school schedule, but you do have more time to yourself.

[YourFidgetyFriend]

When your child is in school, the rushed feeling comes in the afternoon and evenings when you realize that you only have 45 minutes between school letting out and extracurricular activities to get your child a snack, change their clothes, and cart them off.

 

You will probably have more time to yourself, but really, I don't know anyone with children who has a spotless house and doesn't end up feeding their children some "interesting" meal that they concocted at the last minute every now and then :lol:

[WVNA]

When your child is in school, the rushed feeling comes in the afternoon and evenings when you realize that you only have 45 minutes between school letting out and extracurricular activities to get your child a snack, change their clothes, and cart them off.

 

You will probably have more time to yourself, but really, I don't know anyone with children who has a spotless house and doesn't end up feeding their children some "interesting" meal that they concocted at the last minute every now and then :lol:

 

This was our experience too. We just started homeschooling my son who is in 3rd grade a few months ago. I've found that things are more relaxed at our house since we started to homeschool since we aren't worrying about trying to squeeze homework, dinner, etc in between the activities kids are involved with in the evenings.

 

I've also noticed that my son has much better behavior now that he is home and that has also helped to reduce the evening battles we were having.

[twoforjoy]

I think it depends on what stresses you out. Personally, I get easily stressed out by having to stick to somebody else's schedule, so having DS in school was very stressful for me. Having to plan our days around getting him up on time to get ready in time to be to school on time, and then going to pick him up and get his homework done and get him ready for bed so that he would get enough sleep to get up on time, just stressed DH and I out a lot. Plus, we felt like the times we were together as a whole family--mornings before DH left for work and DS left for school, and evenings after DH came home--were very rushed and hectic. In the morning we'd be rushing around to get everybody out the door, and in the evening we'd be rushing to get dinner eaten, the house cleaned, and a few moments of family time in before we had to get DS to bed.

 

I did have more time to myself during the day (this was before my DD was born), but I'm not sure I used that time particularly productively. Some days I did, other days I'd just kind of fritter the time away. I definitely had more quiet time to myself, I won't deny that!

 

At this point, with DD and a new baby coming in a few months, I doubt I'd have any less stress during the day with DS in school. If anything, I'd probably be more stressed because I wouldn't have him to help me out during the day and I'd have to deal with the little ones when I was taking DS to and from school. But even when he was an only, I still felt more relaxed when he was home and we could set our own schedule, rather than being locked into the school's schedule. Obviously that's going to vary depending on individual personalities.

[mchel210]

LOL...yes...my day is no better. I am still rushing around...like everyone else posted above. My house is not spotless...but I do find myself cooking before the kids come home. I can meal plan in the morning now...that is a plus. I just started grocery shopping without kids...although I like someone with me for some crazy reason. BUT...it is a lot cheaper without the kids.

[regentrude]

I did have more time to myself during the day (this was before my DD was born), but I'm not sure I used that time particularly productively. Some days I did, other days I'd just kind of fritter the time away.

 

:iagree:

One observation I made time and time again is that more available time does not automatically mean that more gets accomplished. Honestly, I have been the most productive when I had to be very careful with my time because I did not have a lot.

I work only during the academic year and have no contract during summers. I am most effective when I work, household chores get done, errands get done - when I have all this time available in summer, I postpone, procrastinate, read internet forums...

[Laura Corin]

I started a part time job as soon as I stopped home educating. I hadn't planned on this, but the timing worked out that way. I don't find having the boys in school to be difficult or stressful. We all know our timetables and get things done. Hobbes constantly loses things at school, but his headmaster says all the boys do. I just make sure that everything is labelled and it mostly turns up in the end.

 

This week has gone like this:

 

Monday - took boys to school, then worked from 9-1. Got home, had lunch, did a wash, tidied up, made dinner, sandwiches and a snack. Then I went out to have my hair cut and ran some errands before picking up the boys from school. We went to a local leisure centre where Hobbes ate a sandwich for supper and Calvin had a snack. Both did their Chinese homework, then Hobbes joined a Young Engineers class from 6:30 to 8:30. I took Calvin home, and husband picked up Hobbes later. Meanwhile, the three of us had dinner, then we get the boys into bed.

 

Tuesday - took the boys to school, worked from 9-1. Had lunch, tidied up, made dinner, went and worked in the garden - removing stones from a bed - until it was time to make sandwiches/snacks again, then go and get the boys. Back to the leisure centre where Hobbes had supper, Calvin had a snack and both did their Chinese homework. Hobbes had Karate from 6:30 to 7:30. I took Calvin home and put supper on the table, ready for when husband brought Hobbes home at 7:30. We ate, then got the boys into bed.

 

Wednesday - spent most of the day cleaning the house and doing seven loads of laundry (two of towels, two of sheets, the rest clothes). Dried three loads on the clothes line. Husband picked up the boys from school, I prepared dinner and we all ate before taking Calvin to see the school play and Hobbes to scouts. Husband and I walked the dog until it was time to pick up the boys. Home and boys into bed.

 

Thursday morning I work again, but I've pretty much done the housework for the week, so Thursday afternoon I'll probably work in the garden. After school on Thursday, Calvin runs with a local club. I'll drop him off for that and bring Hobbes home - husband will pick up Calvin and we'll all eat together. The boys will have homework to do, then bed.

 

Friday morning I will probably work in the garden too. Friday afternoon I'm due to meet friends before picking up the boys. I might go grocery shopping in the afternoon too. After school I'll take Hobbes to Chinese lesson, whilst Calvin takes the opportunity to get some homework done at school. I'll pick them both up and come home. We'll all have a quick supper and Calvin will go out to a classical concert with husband. Hobbes and I will have a quiet, snuggly evening.

 

Laura

[Sheri]

My reality?

 

Today I have a lot of time on my hands because I don't pick up the boys until after practice at 6pm. Could I have gotten a lot done today? Yes.

Did I? No, I did my major Wednesday house cleaning, yesterday and I'm not doing any yard work until Saturday.

 

Things that changed:

We became morning people.

My fitness - I stop at the YMCA on my way home from dropping off the boys and I LOVE this.

House - its cleaner during the day and I can clean when I want to instead of need to

Ministry - I stopped most of my church responsibilities and volunteer work this year because going to school was a significant transition for us. I would definitely have more time to devote to lessons and such.

Socially - a few lunches with friends here and there, but evening activities have all but stopped

Appointments - much easier to schedule my appointments, but more difficult when scheduling something for the boys.

Hobbies - yes, yes, yes!

My boys are more organized.

I miss my local homeschool meetings.

 

 

Things that didn't:

Meal-planning - still winging it on a regular basis

Greek - never happening ;) but I am pursuing some other interests

 

Some things don't change at all.

The boys still excel in their favorite subjects and not so much in the others.

I am no more organized now than before.

I am not the ogre that gives them assignments. I am the ogre that makes them finish their homework.

 

 

Like someone said above....you become subject to the school calendar, so don't underestimate the effect that has on your family life.

 

Bottom line.....we all agreed to continue with their school for the next year.

[Blessedchaos]

We used to homeschool when the kids were younger. They have been in PS the past 4 years and we are planning to return to HS this fall. I had the same fantasies that you do... the kids would be gone all day, I would have a clean house, I would have time to prepare wonderful, delicious meals, I'd have time to volunteer, learn things, run errands in peace, and get so many more things done.

 

In reality the kids are gone all day and it's very quiet. Sometimes that is nice, but I do miss them. A LOT. I have to drive them to and from school, and now with oldest ds in middle school that is 2 different locations and 2 different times. Both schools are close, but it is many trips in and out of the car and I do use more gas. My house is not any cleaner. Because I'm not as busy most of the time I feel largely unmotivated and very little gets done. I do not cook wonderful, delicious meals because I hate to cook and I suck at it. Plus, meal preparation comes at the busiest time of day when the kids are home and I have to unpack backpacks and afterschool them in all the subjects the school is not teaching. Before I took my current part time job at a local school I volunteered a lot, which was fun, but on the other hand I found myself often thinking that all that time could be spent teaching my own. I can run errands in peace, but with one exception, I haven't really learned any great new things or gotten much done. I did fulfill my lifelong dream of learning to play piano, which I could never have done when I was homeschooling.

 

Overall, school has had its place in our lives and we've made wonderful friendships and gotten some great memories from it. But I am ready to close that book and dive into the freedom we will have learning at home again. I feel that the quality of my childrens' education and the freedom to learn how we want are more important to me than the benefits of having them in school.

[Starr]

Dd was in ps k and 1 grade. I found at that age I had her home at her worst hours. She was tired and there was too much to do. We played outside for an hour, then homework, skating, dinner, bed.

[Eleni]

I took a mental health break this year and sent my kids to PS. My mom died last year after a horrible 18 month bout with leukemia and dh thought I could really use the break.

 

I managed to get nothing done that I had planned because

A) My kids were taking turns getting sick

B) I then got sick...more then them, and worse. Every two weeks I was sick. It was a HORRIBLE winter.

 

 

Yes, there is more time. It has been nice to have the house clean, until they get home. I find our time together has been rushed though, and that I do not like. I just don't see them enough and the socialization in the PS is just as bad as I have heard all these years.

 

I think sometimes though, it is worth having them in school just to gain perspective on what the alternatives are. For me, it made me realize that I love HSing and it is truly best for my kids.

[Peela]

To be honest, I do have more time to myself, but that may not always be so.

I have enjoyed the last few months of having more time to hang out more with dh, who only works evenings and a couple of mornings.

Mostly, time gets filled in anyway, and I am amazed that i don't get as much done as I thought I would. The day flies past, particularly if I go to the beach for a walk with dh, then have a coffee downtown with him, which we have been doing- there goes pretty much the whole morning.

No, meals are no better and the house is no cleaner- I used to fit in things between subjects, while the kids were working.

I do tend to make a better breakfast for them before they go to school, than when we were homeschooling.

I see them far less- which means that in the evenings I often watch TV with them just to hang out together. We used to do that when homeschooling too, but not as much.

 

Today I got up determined to DO things. DH was disappointed I didnt just want to hang out with him all day. I wanted to get into my garden, and to do some sewing. I did do some gardening, I made some cauliflower patties for lunch/dinner, and I did about 1/4 of the sewing I wanted to get to. I had a nap. I read some.

 

It really depends how you structure your time. I didnt start homeschooling till after my kids had been in school a couple of years- 4 years for the oldest. I missed them. I felt I was losing our closeness, and my son felt he was stupid by age 7 and had given up. I had a part time job, but I was quite willing to give up my job and my spare time to be with the kids more, and that is what happened. My passion for homeschooling far outweighed having time to go to the gym. However, I had had 2 years of having the time, recovering from those early years of no time for myself (I really love my own space)- and I have often wondered if I would have homeschooled so enthusiastically if I hadnt put them in school first and had a break from that intense mothering stage of babies and toddlers.

 

Overall, I am not getting as much done as I thought I would. I have been waiting for inspiration.

Usually mothers get part time- or even full time- jobs when their kids start school. There goes the chance to homeschool in the future, often, because then you get dependent on the extra income.

[mandymom]

My dc's are in public school right now (tomorrow is the last day), and then we are planning to homeschool. For me, I actually think it will be less stressful (not less work, but a different kind of work). Between my 5 children, I had 21 teachers to keep up with. Next year, it would be 25 because I will have another child in middle school. Being the room mom and a school volunteer, it seems like I am never at home anyway during the day. Plus, then I have to make sure that all of the dc's homework is accounted for, all the supplies needed are purchased, notes are signed, etc. It's fairly exhausting.

 

I'm am SO looking forward to knowing exactly what they are assigned and when it is due and what supplies they need next year.....because I will be the one making the assignments! No more consulting umpteen websites and emailing teachers all the time! :001_smile: I know that there are things that I will be giving up time-wise, but I really think that in the end, it will be better for our schedule and my sanity.

[Sheri]

You are sure to be a busy Mom no matter what option you choose! I agree that keeping up with all the different schedules and the notes is not easy. I had no idea that they needed a permission slip for every little thing.

 

We just finished our first school year and I am happy, happy, happy to have them home!

[Matthew.1]

This is a really good topic!

 

Well it doesnt matter if the child is HS or PS because either way they will mess up the house and chores wont end when children are around! :D

[venusmom]

My dc's are in public school right now (tomorrow is the last day), and then we are planning to homeschool. For me, I actually think it will be less stressful (not less work, but a different kind of work). Between my 5 children, I had 21 teachers to keep up with. Next year, it would be 25 because I will have another child in middle school. Being the room mom and a school volunteer, it seems like I am never at home anyway during the day. Plus, then I have to make sure that all of the dc's homework is accounted for, all the supplies needed are purchased, notes are signed, etc. It's fairly exhausting.

 

I'm am SO looking forward to knowing exactly what they are assigned and when it is due and what supplies they need next year.....because I will be the one making the assignments! No more consulting umpteen websites and emailing teachers all the time! :001_smile: I know that there are things that I will be giving up time-wise, but I really think that in the end, it will be better for our schedule and my sanity.

 

I just finished my first year homeschooling - and to be honest...I did just what I did when my older ones were in PS...I bit off more than I could chew. BUT - on the other hand - I'm in command of my own schedule and that feels good. I don't have to take my kids to the doc for a stomach bug - which I can clearly identify myself and don't need a doc to tell me they have one - because the school really needs a doctor's note if they miss more than 3 days in a year!! I also don't have to worry about a teacher that sends a note home the day before an event or assignment and bust my posterior to re-arrange my schedule to get there or help my dc get it done. I love this being home - but there are days I imagine housecleaning without having to answer math questions...weeding in the flowerbeds after a good workout and a refreshing bible study and an occasional pedicure - just because!

 

Reality check - those things just wouldn't happen. I'd be rushing back & forth to schools - carting my kids to school performances, math night, science night, parent-teacher conferences, open house. Not to mention - ALL those permission slips - permission for them to play a certain sport in p.e., field trips, to hear a speaker speak on a sensitive topic, you know the drill. ANYWAYS...all that being said - mom's who are involved with their kids in PS will be just as involved if the HS...we're just involved in a different way....

 

Prayers for all of you mom's - whatever you do to educate your children - I have a hunch that if you are posting here - it's because your really care and you want the best for your dc's.

 

Oh...and my house gets cleaned...but I can't speak for the clutter....I just seem to move it around!! :tongue_smilie:

[BabyBre]

I'm far more busy now that dc are in ps. My dc were enrolled against my wishes and our ps are not good, so I feel it's my duty to be highly involved in the classroom, the school, and also at the district level. I try to set aside time to work out, but there's a very high need for volunteers at our school and, well, I've gained 10 lbs. since dc enrolled. :P

 

Bottom line though is that it will be whatever you make of it, just like your homeschool was. It sounds like you'll be hyperscheduled in a different way, but you could also choose to watch soaps and eat bon bons all day. It's up to you.