5LittleMonkeys Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Do any of you with large famalies, lets say 4 or more, serve your dc dinner at a different time than you and your spouse? Dinner time is stressful for our family right now due to a very vocal, difficult 2yo and a very picky 5yo who we are trying to train to eat what is offered. I usually don't even remember eating my meal or its cold by the time I get to my first bite. Most of the time dh and I excuse all the dc as soon as they have finished eating just so we can have a few minutes to chat. We try to have conversation with the older dc but the littles are just to disruptive right now. I miss having a nice leisurely meal with conversation and think tonight we will start implementing a parents eat first policy, at least a couple times a week. Just curious if anyone else does this and how often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My kids are older now, but when they were young (five children), we would always eat together... and then excuse them. :001_smile: Then I'd make coffee and my husband and I would sit around and chat for another half hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Perhaps in your situation, feeding the younger two separately for a while? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Perhaps in your situation, feeding the younger two separately for a while? I'd considered this but then who watches them while the rest of us eat? I know they would end up right on top of us at the table anyway.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My kids are older now, but when they were young (five children), we would always eat together... and then excuse them. :001_smile: Then I'd make coffee and my husband and I would sit around and chat for another half hour. I could have written this, except I have six kids. Maybe the olders could occupy the littles for a few minutes so you and your dh could have a few minutes of peace? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emmy Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My dh and I do this a lot. Dinnertime is just not that peaceful all the time. And sometimes we want to eat something that we know the kids won't like, and honestly we do not get a babysitter and get time to ourselves much at all. So we will often feed the kids, then after they go to bed or when the younger half are in bed and the older half are reading...we have our own more fun dinner. I don't feel bad about it one bit. They still get a "family dinner experience" - it's not like I just send them into the kitchen to wolf down a sandwich while leaning over the kitchen sink. :) They sit together, me and sometimes dh with them (when we aren't refilling drinks, grabbing the ketchup, feeding the babies, etc) and we chat about our day and all that. We don't do it every night but probably twice a week at minimum. When we had 3 kids under 5 our boys ate really early - they would eat dinner at 4:30 and go to bed by 6:30. Then we ate separately from them nearly every night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 We all eat together and it is chaotic. Dh and I chat leisurely... ::think:: Hmmmm, let me think! About never!! :lol: Seriously, we do all eat together and it really isn't when dh and I talk or chat or connect. It kinda stinks but then again, I really value the family meal and honestly, I kind of enjoy the chaotic - ness of it all. :tongue_smilie: Our youngest rarely lasts in her chair more than 4 minutes and she doesn't do much eating, if any. (Float her carrots in her milk? Yup! Eat? Nope!) She likes to sit in dh's lap b/c she missed daddy all day. He just lets her and eats around her. Ds7(autistic) insists on sitting next to me (which is totally fine) and he doesn't eat much of anything but boy, can he TALK non - stop. Dd6(mild autism and food allergies) tries to eat everything that isn't nailed down, God bless her! She is positively TINY but that girl can EAT! And patience is NOT a virtue she has developed yet... :glare: Anyway, it is a season. If it isn't something you feel like you can't tolerate (and that is certainly A-Ok!) then eat separately. It is your home and family and choice and no one is being deprived. (Except apparently YOU when you try to do the whole family meal. ::hug::) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 As per the famous line from "A Christmas Story", I haven't had a hot meal in 15 years. :) We all eat together. I have one kid with texture sensitivity issues and a loud 4yo who has no quiet-voice. We try to make dinner as pleasant as possible for everyone and also try to have at least one food that Mr. Picky can eat. Poorly behaving children get taken out. That being said, I don't think it would be terrible to serve them separately for a short time; I just wouldn't want it to become the norm. That's just me, though. We also excuse the littles when they are done eating, which is usually pretty fast. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NavyWifeandMommy Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 My kids are older now, but when they were young (five children), we would always eat together... and then excuse them. :001_smile: Then I'd make coffee and my husband and I would sit around and chat for another half hour. I like that idea. We are not large yet but soon will be with more preschoolers underfoot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 I might consider giving the little ones an early dinner and some tv time or an early bedtime. If the bath is close by you could do bath time for the 5yo. We have done it before. I love the idea of having a dinner together. we sometimes hide good ice cream and eat it after the kids are in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 DH barely gets home before they go to bed, if then. He and I generally eat after the little ones (ages 1-4) are in bed. Otherwise I get indigestion ;). Right now I'm standing at the computer with a slice of pizza :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Well, we did it. Dh and I sat down and ate dinner alone while all the dc were playing in the backyard. It was SOOOOOO nice and quiet. I got to actually taste my food and dh and I were able to discuss some things before the dc got to him.;) After we were done I prepared the dc's plates and called them in to eat. I worked on tidying up the kitchen while they ate and they talked with each other and I chatted with them. The 5yo actually behaved better than he has at the table in a long time. Probably because I was much more relaxed. The 2yo got much more of my attention and behaved better too. After they were done they all pitched in to clear the table and dd8 and dd12 loaded the dishwasher and wiped down the table (that was all that was left to do since I was able to clean while they ate). Now they are sitting in the office chatting with dh and deciding what game to play tonight. I know what everyone is saying about time together at dinner but we spend so much time together at other times that dinner is mostly a time just to nourish our bodies. We try not to linger at the dinner table becuase then we tend to overeat, but even the short time we are at the table is usually so hectic. Tonight was so relaxed and easy and I didn't have to spend 20 minutes getting the dc back to the kitchen to help clean up. I don't think we will do this every single evening but I'm thinking that for a little while we may do this at least 3 nights a week...or maybe 4.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oakblossoms Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 That sounds fabulous. And you know life goes in seasons. If it works for this season than awesome. One day they will all be able to sit still. Just like one day my oldest didn't need to crawl into our bed when he was scared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 We eat together except Saturday night. I make the kids something easy of fun like pizza or breadsticks, then they go play and dh and I have something nicer. We don't go out so I try for nice with wine, etc. The kids either go outside or watch a movie or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heidi Posted May 5, 2011 Share Posted May 5, 2011 Yep, we do that sometimes, if the kids are playing and having a good time.. we just let them play. Especially if we have company over, the adults eat first because our kids are usually playing together anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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