Is there any legal way to get a family member into rehab against their will?

[Tess in the Burbs]

My sister is an alcoholic who fell off the wagon last year after 10 years sobriety. She has an upcoming DWI case in May but since it's been so long since her other convictions she's not expected to do jail time. They already gave her license back. So guess what the last few weeks have been like? Lots of police calls. Last night took the cake...she called the police to get my mom out of her apt. Mom was there to take the car keys. Police forced my mom to leave and left my sister drunk with her keys.... But it's gets better. mom had police/fire/EMS show up later b/c my sister called them to my mom's house in another county(!) saying my mom was having a heart attack. what the heck? Anyway, I finally got her to stop calling the police on everyone else and told her to go to bed. Haven't heard back this morning if she stayed home or went out driving drunk.

 

What is our legal rights? She's drinking and driving daily. I fear for the people on the road. I fear she will kill them and herself. She needs a long rehab but won't go. Can we legally get her in one against her will?

 

Can I call the DA about her upcoming court case and share the police/drunk drama of the last month? Another dept was called by her job b/c she hadn't shown up in days and her car was outside with keys parked crazy. She had passed out at work after driving drunk one day. yes, the fired her. Again, police called out to look around but they never saw or spoke to my sister....

 

Just curious if anyone has experience in getting a loved one into rehab against their will. At this point I really do think she's going to kill someone on the roads. She will not give up her keys.

 

I am frustrated about the police too....how come they don't have to talk to the person who called the police on other people? How come when you go looking for a missing person you don't talk to them when they are found? My mom was almost arrested for trying to stop a drunk driver but they said she couldn't take the keys....if my sister had killed someone last night(and heck maybe she did since I haven't heard from her or mom this morning) how would that officer feel today?

 

thanks for any help on how to get my sister help. it's only been 20 years of this.......

[frogmom]

I come from long line of alcoholics and have been sober myself for 12 years so I can share what I know from my limited experience. I'm sorry, by the way that your sister's alcoholism is affecting you so negatively. Before anything else make sure that you take care of yourself. I strongly recommend that you try and find an Al-Anon meeting in your area. You can't understand the unbelievable difference it can make for you just to listen to others who are also dealing with Alc relatives and loved ones. At least go once and see and I think you'll get a lot from it.

As far as having your sister thrown into rehab,you need to find an attorney, I believe it would fall under family law, and tell him your story, including that you want to have her involuntarily committed. I'm pretty sure that if the judge so orders, she would need detox first, then treatment. Sometimes those are at the same facility sometimes not. I'm not sure what state you're in or how the law stipulates there, but generally they will put her on what's called a mandatory psychiatric hold for at least 72 hours. Then they, the coca, would reassess her to determine she needed longer which she no doubt would. For a judge to commit her your family and the attorney have to show that your sister is an immediate threat to herself or others. From your post it seems clear she meets the criteria but I'm certainly no judge.

I hope that helps a little I can give you my email address if you'd like if you have any more questions or just wanna rant. I've been both sides of this disease so I have some mileage on the subject. Hope things get better soon. Please take care of you.

 

Deborah

[frogmom]

Where it says "they, the coca" it should read " they, the docs" Sorry for goof

[Crimson Wife]

If the person is a danger to himself/herself or others, you can go to court to get a 72 hour commitment to a mental facility. After those 72 hours are up, however, the person can leave.

 

If she's convicted of DWI, the judge can order rehab in lieu of jail time.

[bzymom]

I'm sorry your family is in this position. I don't know where you live, but you can try contacting the prosecutor's office in the town she where her hearing will take place. I would do it by letter or fax, and let them know of the family's concerns.

 

I am shocked that she has her license back before she has even gone to court, and you don't anticipate she will lose it!

 

She has to want help. You can help by refusing to participate in the insanity. If she keeps calling the police & EMS, perhaps they will get fed up and she will have consequences. Let her call. Let her fall. Hard to do, but the only way to survive.

:grouphug::grouphug:

[kalanamak]

As far as having your sister thrown into rehab,you need to find an attorney, I believe it would fall under family law, and tell him your story, including that you want to have her involuntarily committed. I'm pretty sure that if the judge so orders, she would need detox first, then treatment.

 

NOTHING like this happens in my state. Even the first 72 hours only happens when a county person (County Designated Mental Health Professional) evals the person and believes them a danger to self or others (and that doesn't mean "may get drunk and drive tonight" but "I want to kill so and so and I have a gun") or are gravely disabled (so ill or psychotic he or she cannot care for basic needs of eating and shelter).

 

As far as pure substance abuse, rather than psychosis, it usually comes to an injury or illness that lands the person in the hospital (not just the ER for a sober-up, but in patient, for cellulitis or pancreatitis or some such thing), and a social worker can work on a plan. Rehab costs money. Our local state funding is drying up. Rehab is much more likely to be helpful if the person is willing, and there is a lot to be said to spending 90 days going from AA meeting to AA meeting, and locking in with a sponsor.

 

To the OP :grouphug:, it really sucks being so helpless. There is a saying in AA: "What is an alcoholic? A drunk you love." I am not an alcoholic, but I've been to many many meetings, in my attempt to understand the disease (my brother told me to, in preparation from my profession), and I have to say, I prefer going to open AA meetings (where non-alcoholics are welcome) over Al Anon. I'm sure there are good Al Anon groups out there, but many are much more pitiful than AA. Many AA meetings have the "first responders" who deal with people new to the system, and there are some people some places who will do "interventions" (my ex husband used to go on "rescues" when family would find the strung out family member, and a few people who were involved in AA would go scoop them up and give them a meal and encourage them to come to a meeting kind of thing.)

 

If you are really desperate, you could work on getting her arrested for DWI, which would mean keeping very close tabs on her and calling the police on her when she would be arrestable. More than one person has joined AA with a "nudge from the judge" to do 90 meetings in 90 days. Another AA saying is: if your butt keeps showing up, eventually your mind will, too.

 

HTH. I know it stinks.

[Harriet Vane]

:grouphug:

 

I watched someone dear to me struggle with drug addiction for seven long years. I'm sorry your sister has relapsed.

 

:grouphug:

[Dmichellekp]

Im so sorry you are going through this. Its sometimes harder on the family than anyone else.

It is unfortunate that little intervention has come her way, but it is individual right. Unless she is an immediate threat to herself or someone else, they cant hold a person against their will. I work as an EMT and I am who they call when there is someone in the ER that needs to be transfered to a rehab or pysc unit on 72 hour hold. I can tell tell you that just being drunk doesn't get you into a rehab. I have seen numerous alcoholics in the ER because rescue picked them up for passing out in public, or found by relatives in a bad way, and the ER will keep them on a stretcher in the ER monitoring them until their blood alcohol level is back in the normal range, then discharge them. They will ask if the person would like to go to rehab, but if they are not willing and no immediate danger to themselves or others, they get discharged home to start their cycle over again.

You can call a social worker at a crisis center and ask for advice on your particular situation, or like the first poster stated, a lawyer. I can say, while its hard to just sit by and do nothing for someone you love and care about, I can also say that unless the person wants help, even if they are forced to accept help, they will not follow through. They have to want the help for it to help them. I wish you the best, and hope all works out for your family.

[elegantlion]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

No advice, but you might look into the possibility of her having to put a breathalyser type object on her car. She'd have to use it before starting. I believe in some states a judge can order that be installed.

[Cindy in FL.]

Firstly, let me say that I feel your pain and frustration. My mom was an alcoholic for 30+ years and was arrested for DWI twice. She was Baker Acted (forcibly put in detox) at least 3 times. They only do that if you are an actual, present threat to yourself or someone else.

 

It drove my family crazy knowing that she was driving while drunk and potentially killing someone. My stepfather did report her to the police when he knew she was doing this, but it is difficult for them to catch them in the act.

 

The court can order someone into rehab, but I don't think you can force them otherwise.

 

I wish the best to you, your family and your sister. It is a very difficult road to walk and doesn't always end well.

[QuirkyKapers]

Do they have something in your area called "Pink Slip". Where I live, you can call the cops and have them pink slip someone. This basically means, they will send someone out to evalutate the situation.

[Tess in the Burbs]

:grouphug::grouphug:

 

No advice, but you might look into the possibility of her having to put a breathalyser type object on her car. She'd have to use it before starting. I believe in some states a judge can order that be installed.

 

yes, well, that was supposed to happen.....but it hasn't

[Tess in the Burbs]

yeah, well, after this arrest and she thought she was getting a year in jail she seemed to do everything she needed to please the court before her date, but then a lawyer said she wouldn't go to jail and it's been a drama scene every other day. I think she pushed mom away last night. Mom said she won't call or go by there today. Dad is waiting to hear from her husband...they don't live together by choice of jobs in different cities but I doubt he will suggest anything of help...he lets my parents deal with her.

 

I did find a state program but I don't think she will sign up. She basically said we have bigger issues than hers last night....she hasn't hit bottom yet apparently.

 

thanks. she is going to all the meetings....just going drunk. or going and then picking up alcohol on the way home. kinda defeats the purpose you know?

[SailorMom]

In my experience, it is VERY difficult.

 

We tried, with my mom. Multiple times. At opne point, the cops showed up at her house to do a welfare check (she wouldn't asnwer the door or the phone), and we begged them to take her in, commit her for 72 hours. Something - anything. She wasn't eating, there were empty vodka bottles all over the house, etc. They said, and I quote, "It isn't illegal to be drunk in your own home". Anyway - basically she would have had to be out breaking the law, harming others, or trying to harm herself (and no, they don't count severe drinking to be harming yourself).

Keep trying. My mom died of multiple organ failure about 6 months later.

[Teachin'Mine]

My suggestion would be to work with a highly skilled intervention counselor. A good one would be able to work with you and anyone else who knows your sister well and how adversely drinking has affected her. After the pre-work is done, a meeting is arranged and the person with the drinking problem is confronted with how their drinking has affected each and every person there. It's done with tough love, but the goal is to get the person to agree to go into treatment. It sounds like in-patient would be best for your sister as she'll probably need a medical detox - followed up by rehab. It's a challenging process, but if the counselor is good, the results can be awesome. This also gives the counselors in rehab some information to work with when the person in treatment wants to leave. They then have a lot of reasons why the person needs to stay where they are and keep on the course. Rehab is only a beginning. Following through with the treatment plan is critical.

 

To get a good intervention counselor, you can call some local treatment centers for recommendations. Talk with several and go with the one you think would be able to help the most. Please keep us updated. I'm praying for all of you. :grouphug: