When you desperately need a vacation but can't take one...

[DesertDweller]

What do you do?

 

We are self-employed. There are no paid vacation days, sick days, much less the freedom to take several days off. My dh works very hard, as I know many do, and is just so tired. More like burnout and fatigue. Yes, he can take a day off or an afternoon, but it just doesn't seem to be enough. In all honesty, we probably don't even do that very often. At least not planned days off. More like an occasional random day we decide to sleep in or he comes home early.

 

We're basically a mom-and-pop company doing everything ourselves. Unfortunately, he has the worst of it. He is the technician, the salesman, the accounts collector, and usually the one that gets all the phone calls. The good, bad, and ugly. We deal with the industry and many of the people we deal with can be very demanding to the point that they yell at him and cuss him out sometimes. He can hold his own, but it takes it's toll.

 

I handle the office stuff. I do take phone calls. But, most of our customers call him direct about problems they are having, so he gets a constant barrage of calls even when he is on the job trying to get something repaired or serviced.

 

I feel so sorry for him. He is on overload. We have talked about a vacation, but I don't know how feasible it is. Just a few days somewhere would be wonderful, but even that seems so out of reach right now. From a time standpoint and a financial standpoint.

 

We talked some last night, and I know something has to give. He left this morning so defeated and tired. I just don't know what to do. We have date nights and family movie nights, so it's not about us making time for each other. It's about getting away. Relaxing. Enjoying the scenery for a change. KWIM?

 

I also would like to find a way to make our every day business dealings less stressful, but for now, that's a whole different topic.

 

So, what to do? I have a few ideas and plan to talk to him tonight more about it. I just wondered what some of you have done that has helped to give your family a break from the daily grind. What are some things we might do in place of a vacation? Some ways to feel like we're taking some R and R even if we can't just up and go somewhere for a week or close to it.

[AK_Mom4]

Can you do a mini-vacation on the weekend? I know it can be tough when you own your own business.

 

DH has a friend who treats his family once in a while to a mini-vacation....they check into a hotel with a pool on Saturday afternoon. Everyone spends the afternoon at the pool, they eat dinner at the hotel restaurant or order in food and watch a movie, then back to the pool for the evening. In the morning, they sleep late and leave just before check out time.

 

Just one fun afternoon and evening goes a long way to recharging burnt out batteries.....

[sunshine_librarian]

I would try to encourage my husband have some fun free time, maybe alone. For my dh, he plays D&D one night a week and it really perks him up. Maybe he would have an idea for something he could do regularly that is low cost and just lets him cut loose. We have disc golf around here, initial investment is low and no green fees. Plus he would get some walking in. And if you lived near me I would say this sounded like y'all needed a beach day, but probably not a real possibility in the desert.

[Impish]

Camping for the wknd is the closest we've gotten to vacation, not counting our so called honeymoon 8 yrs ago.

 

Sometimes, just a change of scenery can help. Camping can be a cheap way to go.

[Susan C.]

Day trips! Leave in the morning and don't come back until bed time. Pack food if you need to.

[kewb]

I could have written your post. It is very difficult. We take the local hotel vacation every once in awhile. The kids love it.

[AngelBee]

We put a tent up in our backyard. :)

 

Roast hotdogs and make smores over a little fire. Then we sleep in the tent overnight. lol

[Dobela]

My dad had his own business. Sometimes we would literally check into a local hotel for a night or 2. Or we would go to the next town over and stay in one of their hotels. He would hire someone to answer the phones and take messages. He wouldn't look at messages unless he had to (which sometimes was constantly). Before he retired he had to forward his cell phone back to the office sometimes so someone else could screen calls and let him work in peace.

 

I would have your dh let phone calls go to voice mail and then return them later. We have a friend that had to do that. He doesn't answer the call while he is out unless he is expecting a call. He has regularly scheduled times during the day that he sits and returns calls. Last time I called he even said in the message that he would return calls between 12 and 4 and if there was an emergency to call the office.

 

Maybe by doing some things like that he can control the business more than it controlling him. It is so very difficult though I realize.

[Anne in CA]

I really feel your pain because my family had a cattle ranch that didn't make much money during the eighties and we never had vacations. My dad worked Christmas, New Years, all those days. My sister was just saying that she feels awful when she is with friends and they talk about their great family vacations because we never had one.

 

I really hope you will take up camping and get out some this summer. If you all get a system down of packing up the car and setting up camp quickly you could have some time in nature for a few days this summer as you could get away. Your kids will really thank you for making the effort.

[HSMom2One]

My dad had his own business. Sometimes we would literally check into a local hotel for a night or 2. Or we would go to the next town over and stay in one of their hotels. He would hire someone to answer the phones and take messages. He wouldn't look at messages unless he had to (which sometimes was constantly). Before he retired he had to forward his cell phone back to the office sometimes so someone else could screen calls and let him work in peace.

 

I would have your dh let phone calls go to voice mail and then return them later. We have a friend that had to do that. He doesn't answer the call while he is out unless he is expecting a call. He has regularly scheduled times during the day that he sits and returns calls. Last time I called he even said in the message that he would return calls between 12 and 4 and if there was an emergency to call the office.

 

Maybe by doing some things like that he can control the business more than it controlling him. It is so very difficult though I realize.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

My family has not been able to afford a vacation in quite a while, but we do take breaks to relax and disengage from the usual hubbub of life. Life is way too short! We all need to take a break now and then, and refusing to do so is just not healthy. It would be so worth it to just let the messages pile up for a few days. Announce in advance that you will be taking vacation from x/date to x/date. Small businesses do this all the time!! Those messages will be there when you come back.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Mandamom]

Your family is going to have to take a break even if it is for a couple of days. Probably just shutting off the phone and focusing on family (and sleep) for a couple of days would be a huge vacation.

 

I'm in a similar situation -- I work 2 jobs to support my family (dh is home with 4 kids) and if I don't work we don't have any income. Luckily the kids are covered through the state health insurance program. We are at the poverty level so we don't have a lot of leeway financially and taking off can feel very stressful.

 

I am finding that I HAVE to take some time off every so often. Even if it is to just lounge around the house for a couple of days, play with the kids and get outside to enjoy nature (important to our family). Working for 2 years without taking more than 1-2 days off at a time just about did me in and I'm not doing it anymore. I can't live like that. I need my health and my sanity more than I needed the money (and it was good money) that I didn't get.

 

So, now I'm beginning to schedule some time off and it really helps a lot.

Your time off doesn't have to be expensive or long but at the very least you should shut off the outside world for a few days to reconnect with yourselves and your kids.