How do you make high school enjoyable and not overly pressured for your DC?

[RoughCollie]

I have a war going on inside me regarding my college-bound DC, three of whom will be in 9th grade in September.

 

Side #1 is practical. The DC must take courses required by our town's public school system, they should take courses required by colleges they hope to be admitted to eventually, they should study hard so they have high grades so that they can get academic scholarships, and they should be involved in various outside activities such as volunteer work, jobs, and clubs. They should also take three SAT II tests and at least one AP course, along with the PSAT and SAT. I know about the community college option, but I'm not sure it is available here because on their websites the colleges require a high school diploma or a GED for admission and there is nothing about joint enrollment.

 

It about makes me sick to think of DC spending their high school years making sure they cram in enough knowledge to score highly on a bunch of tests so they have choices about which colleges they will attend, and so they can get money to go there.

 

 

When I was in high school, no one studied for these standardized tests. We just took them and let the chips fall where they may. I didn't stress out over any tests and I did very well on them.

 

To me, learning for the sake of making a good grade on a test removes the joy of learning. I had to do that for the LSAT and for the Bar Exam, so I'm not totally out of the loop. :)

 

DH is 100% on side #1 and I can see that it is practical in this day and age and that DH is worried about having 4 kids in college at the same time. He also wants the kids to have the option of attending private colleges (Ivy League schools and schools like Johns Hopkins or Boston College). DC have the mental ability to do that, so that is not an issue.

 

Competition is an issue, too. I am highly competitive, but I complete with myself by striving to do better. I usually come out on top, but that's because of the work I do, not because I was trying to beat someone else. I do not compare myself with others and try to do better than they are doing. I'm trying to instill this in my kids. The brand of competition these tests foster is not the kind I prefer.

 

Side #2 is Pro Learning. Sure, the DC will take certain courses, but they don't have to cram in endless pages of dry facts -- the whole point is to learn and to find fulfillment in doing it. (Not talking Sesame Street type enjoyment here.)

 

To that end, I have purchased curricula for next year that is not textbook-driven, except for math, grammar, vocabulary and Spanish. It is academically rigorous. They will learn a lot, but will they learn what is on those tests?

 

But I don't understand how any student can enjoy their high school years when everything they do is geared towards taking tests that can make or break their admission to college. It's like having to study with a sword hanging over one's head.

 

The pressure will also be on me: What if a kid makes a C on a test and it causes his GPA for that course to be a B instead of an A? What if a kid does not master enough material to make a 4 or a 5 on the AP exam? What if the kid is not good at higher math and can't make a good grade in calculus or pre-calculus? What if the kid is happy to be average instead of driven to excellence like DH and I are, and despite the fact that the kid wants to be an M.D.?

 

Is it my job to force a kid to excel on the theory that I know what is best for him/her and that s/he will thank me later when s/he is an adult and can be medical doctor instead of a hamburger slinger?

 

These questions plague me continually. I feel torn between doing what I think is best and doing what someone else thinks should be done -- the someone else being the test givers and the colleges that require the tests.

 

I don't want my DC to spend the next four years feeling what to me is extreme pressure. I have a lot of formal education, so I know that the program I have set up is just fine -- but I don't know that it will enable the DC to make high scores on all these tests.

 

This pressure is putting a damper things for me, quite a lot. Have any of you experienced this? How did you handle it?

 

Also, with reference to the Meyers-Briggs personality testing threads on the General Board, I am an INFP. Most homeschoolers who answered the poll there are J's, not P's. So maybe I'm not being logical enough here? There has got to be a balance, but where is it?

 

Thank you for your help. I just sick at heart about this, and I need all the help I can get from you all.

RC

MY MOM ROCKS!!!LUV THE POST!

[Jane in NC]

This internal debate is not confined to homeschooling parents. A slate of AP courses is impressive, but if the cost is no extra-curriculars or no time to develop any passions, what is the point?

 

In recent months I have been talking with a friend who homeschools in another state. Her son wants to be an engineer but will not do any AP tests prior to applying to college. He will have an international engineering related competition on his resume. Because he sang in a nationally recognized opera company's children's chorus before his voice changed, he has connections within the company and continues to appear on stage in supernumerary roles. These are huge commitments of time and passion--off the wall probably for most engineering school applicants. It will be interesting to see where he attends college.

 

As my son wraps up his second year of high school, I will note that we try to keep one foot in both worlds. My son loves History and Latin and will read anything (novels, philosophy, plays, science books). He is attracted to rigor.

 

But we have always made the time for him to participate in things he enjoys, things like recreational ice hockey, Envirothon competitions, volunteering at the wildlife shelter. If every day we focused on facts ("Plant nothing else and root out everything else" as suggested by Dicken's character Thomas Gradgrind) I think that my son would be dull and life would be dull. As you pointed out, there is far more to learning than that which is revealed on a standardized test!

 

I would also keep your finger to the wind to consider whatever the latest college trend is. Fewer colleges are recognizing "3's" on AP tests for credit. Some colleges are only using 4's and 5's for placement purposes or limiting the number of AP credits that can transfer. Some prep schools have dropped AP or are considering dropping it because of the limitations that the courses impose on their instruction, particularly with the new course audits that dictate course content. As I see the trend, more colleges seem to be asking for SAT subject tests as indicators of a student's high school background. If you think that your kids will attend an Ivy or one of the so called "New Ivies" (Reed, Rice, BC, Davidson, etc.), then I would periodically scan their admissions pages. I would also talk to the students you meet who are attending these top schools and ask them about their course work, testing, etc.

 

Trust me, I have had too many restless nights worrying over these issues! Confidence in our decisions will wax and wane, yet WTM conversations help us maintain a steady course which appears to serve us well.

 

Good luck.

Jane

[Michelle in AL]

I'm with you. I think the unique opportunity in homeschooling is to tailor it to their gifts/passions. So if your child does well in science, try to make that subject the best fit you can. For me that means looking over different textbooks to see which is most appealing. Consider outside class options, whether local or online. If they enjoy reading, then use whole books for history/literature. Focus on their interests.

 

After reading the post with the editorial re:AP tests, I've really changed my mind re: AP classes. I don't want my kids to just do massive amounts of work in order to just spit it out on a test. I think I'll have mine do 1 or 2 SATII subject tests or AP courses, because I think that's important in proving yourself, but I don't think I want it to be their focus. I'll also hope they choose to take a test that is in an area that comes easily to them.

 

As far as a child's drive for medical school or other competitive fields, I think that really comes from within. If they don't have the self motivation to push themselves, they won't make it in medical school anyway, no matter how structured you make their high school years. I really think that drives comes from within and it's not something we can train them to do. I don't mean this to sound negative, kids without this drive do well in other fields.

 

All this to say I know how you feel!

[Myra]

You know, this is something I always wrestle about as a parent - what is importantant to life's happiness?!

I want my children to have a strong academic high school so that they can go to college and persue whatever carreer they desire, but...........I also want time to smell the flowers with my children and enjoy living. It's a fine line that causes me plenty of self-examination and self-discovery. As a home schooling parent, I'm sure we all want the best for our children and that it's healthy that we question ourselves!

 

Myra

[Jane in NC]

 

We don't do AP as we had a bad experience with the ps changing test papers, ...

 

Dare I ask, Margaret? My son is taking his first AP test tomorrow. What happened?

 

Jane

[Gwen in VA]

You don't necessarily have to choose between interesting learning experiences, extra-curricular involvement, and academics. Our older two kids were very driven, and they did it all -- voluntarily. (I would never ever pressure a kid to do all of what my older two kids did in high school!)

 

Your kids will let you know their passions as they mature. Are they really intellectual? Are they passionate about photography? Do they want to do various competitions? They will speak up about what THEY want to do with their time!

 

Give them choices. Give them options. Present them with LOTS of possibilities, and keep your ears open so you can hear their ideas. 24 hours per day is actually a lot of time. Give them lots of freedom to decide how to spend it.

 

Set standards for your schoolwork but be flexible -- if better options come along, let your kids do them instead!

 

And keep on talking about what your kids want out of high school, out of post-high school, out of life.....Encourage them to pursue their dreams.....

[Jill- OK]

...RoughCollie, because I have two entering high school this next school year, and as the three of us talk about our upcoming plans, I find myself desperate to preserve some of the laid-back approach that I feel has served us so well, thus far.

 

But...they have to meet certain requirements. If I want them to do well on tests...they have to gear a certain amount of their high school experience towards test material.

 

And, that's okay...I just long for them to have plenty of time--and intellectual energy--for the interest-led, passion-driven type of education, as well.

 

So far, I'm just trying to continually evaluate our choices, work at keeping a balance, and the lines of communication open with the kids.

 

I just want to hear how others handle it, as well, and see if there's any great wisdom out there that can help me walk the tightrope, lol. (I'm sure that this is the right place to ask, though; there are sure to be at least a few kindred spirits who have BTDT in this regard.)

[Michelle in MO]

we haven't done any of those yet (and may not, since my dd's may be enrolled in a private school in the fall). However, although AP tests, excellent grades, high ACT and SAT scores are important, I really understand your point---Point #2 on the issues you described above. Although you don't have to sacrifice #1 in order to satisfy #2, or vice versa, nevertheless, I think you intuitively understand that you must keep your kids interested and actively engaged in the learning process or you will lose them. If your focus is strictly on #1, that could happen.

 

A couple of resources have helped me gain some perspective on this issue. One is a conference talk given by Douglas Wilson at last summer's ACCS Conference in Atlanta, GA. (I guess some people don't care for Douglas Wilson too much, but when I heard this particular talk I was very impressed). It was entitled: "Lowering Standards While Submitting to Christ's Authority." It was excellent; it was very moving and descriptive of the battle I've been through on the same issue. Essentially, he states that if you lose the kids you're trying to teach, you've gained nothing. You can buy a copy (or perhaps listen to it free) from Word MP3.com. Here's a link to that talk:

 

http://www.wordmp3.com/details.aspx?id=5575

 

Also, I read portions of an excellent book called Ready or Not, Here Life Comes by Mel Levine, which speaks of the importance of helping your children pursue their passions and at the same time recognizing their strengths and helping them to capitalize on those. Here's a link:

 

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Ready-or-Not-Here-Life-Comes/Mel-Levine/e/9780641848087/?itm=1

 

Anyway, I think both of these resources help me to keep focused on what I would consider to be the most important: #2. I think #1 is very important, but the joy and love for learning should take precedence. I also suspect (but don't know from experience, so this could just be my ignorance talking!) that college applications officials are looking for a sense of passion about something in kids, not just a high school resume. I heartily believe it's possible to do both, but I would stay focused on keeping your kids engaged and loving the process of learning.

[Nan in Mass]

I've found that it is a much better guide where my children are concerned. (I have 3 - 21, 17, and 13. And none have gone to college yet, although I've got one going to engineering school in the fall. Mine are brightish but not very academic-minded. So you can take what I say with a grain of salt because we haven't exactly succeeded yet.)

 

We assumed that our children would go to public high school, even if we homeschooled for all or part of school before that. Our oldest did this. Our high school has very high academic expectations and by junior year, he was so burned out that he took the lightest load possible his senior year and refused to go to college, even though he got in. He's only now willing to try the academic world again. Even so, we thought we would send the middle one, but he turned out to be a traveller, and that doesn't fit into the public school schedule. I also knew that he'd get lost there. He's wired a bit differently and doesn't learn well in school situations. It seemed stupid to sacrifice the way he learns well (travel) for a way in which we know he doesn't learn well. So, we kept him home. When I was planning high school, I went through a process very much like what you are going through. I eventually decided to go for the best education for each child and just forget about all but the most basic of the college entrance stuff, partly because of seeing how much he had learned traveling, partly because of his wiring, partly because I've spent most of my life doing what seemed to me the right thing but looked the unprudent thing, the thing everybody said wouldn't work out, only to have it work out fine in the end.

 

We haven't hit the end yet, so I can't tell you if it will work out fine, but I think it might. Here is why. I decided my goal was to create educated adults, and to keep their options as open as possible without causing problems with the first bit. I decided that since it was impractical to keep their options open for every single college out there, I was willing to accept that there would be a fair number of them that were shut to us. That still left us with lots of colleges. I had a look at the list of colleges who were willing to accept students with no standardized testing and decided it covered enough ground that we'd be ok. Then I thought about what colleges needed from us. I came up with three things: a reasonably academic preparation for college (something that could be converted to the standard 4 English, 4 math, etc., on a transcript), proof that the child was prepared and could do college academics, and a reason for a college to want my particular child. I worked out a high school plan that would meet both my goals and standard college prep ones. I decided, since my middle one doesn't test well, to have him do CC classes and the SAT to "validate" my transcript. These two meant I didn't have to "teach to the test". And I let my son follow his passion for travel, making him a person who has something unique to offer colleges. Then I decided that he'd just have to apply to lots of colleges and be prepared to go where someone wanted him. If all else failed, he could go to CC for an extra year and then apply again.

 

Part of my goals were not to grade, because I can't teach properly if I have to grade, to do TWEM, to do math from a different country (Singapore), to do natural history for some of science, to slice and dice some of our subjects so they fit around my son's travel schedule (making them not fit neatly into years), and to spend quite a lot of time tieing what he learns on traveling into the rest of his education, which means having to count that traveling on his transcript instead of listing it as extracurricular activities.

 

At right about where you are in the planning, I sort of melted down and balked. I could see that if we did full standard college prep academics AND full traveling (my son's educational goals) AND full my own educational goals AND competative gymnastics, my son would have absolutely no time to even see that there were flowers, let alone stop and smell them. I began to look at alternativy-type cover schools. My husband liked this idea because they were accredited. Then, in the process of doing that, I realized that I was capable of defining a year's worth of academic credit myself, that I didn't need the cover school to give my son credit for his traveling. I began all over again and planned an education that was a combination of textbooks (so he'd learn how to learn out of a textbook), travel, and reading whole books, with SATs and a few CC classes tacked onto the end.

 

I think, as Jane said, that you aren't taking into account your children's passions. Melding those passions into a child's education takes time, money, or both, and we're only trying to deal with one at a time. It might be harder for you. But if you can do it, that is the answer to your problem. Pick only one or two ways to show colleges that your children can do academic work and then count on their unique passions both to make their education interesting to themselves and make them desirable to colleges. Children stuck in public school have fewer options, so they often have to go the tons of APs route. Yours don't.

 

HTH

-Nan

[JennifersLost]

I have decided once more to relax. As a teenager I went through the whole process of "shooting for an Ivy League school". I went to a very challenging ps, did all the AP courses I could, learned how to ace tests, got into a bunch of Ivy League schools, picked one...

 

 

and floundered. In all that striving and focusing on getting into college I never developed a passion for ANYTHING. I finally ended up an English Major, did all the requirements and graduated, but knew the whole time I was throwing away more than $100,000 of my parent's money for no real purpose. It was awful.

 

I am letting my oldest ds direct his learning. It is hard. Really, really hard. I freaked out a week or so ago, made up a whole schedule including quizzes, tests and papers to do between now and the end of the year, foisted it on him, sent him into a tizzy....

 

and reminded myself once again WHY I WASN'T GOING TO DO THAT anymore. LOL.

 

It's so hard to go against our programming when it comes to school.

 

Ds has multiple interests. I'm not sure which one will develop into a grand passion at this point, but I'm going to give him the time to figure it out. In the absolutely worst case scenario he might have to spend a year at the local community college before transferring to a four year school. That's okay - it won't kill him, you know?

 

I think that any child who develops a passion and follows it is going to find his way into the "right" school in the end. I agree with the person above who said follow your heart. Maybe work out your own "worst case scenario" and face it head on. It does help take the fear away.

[Susan in IL]

and even ps parents who see the potential in their children.

 

My oldest was definitely not self motivated academically. I think the reason was his horrible ps (k-6) experiences. I did have to push him. I gave a few B's because he didn't study for the tests or his essays were not up to par. Just like he would have in school. He was in an outside class and he got a B there too. His final GPA was not 4.0. He learned that there are consequences, just like the kids in ps. There are no do overs in ps like there can be at home and I didn't allow do overs. Maybe I am mean but to me, that is real life.

 

He didn't take any standardized tests from the end of 6th (in ps) until he took the ACT at the end of 10th. Was I stressed? YEP. His score was ok and that motivated him to do better the next time. I just relaxed after that since I knew he could at least get into many colleges. He didn't have the desire for any Ivy or top 20 LAC. He knew what he wanted and then worked harder to get there. It took that for him to be driven academically. He did have an outside passion and was a volunteer for years.

 

If you children have a goal of med school or something along those lines, you need to show them what is required and that you will help them but they have to want it badly enough themselves. They have to take ownership. What do they want? Do they want to do what you have picked out?

 

I have rambled long enough.

[Jan P.]

Nan,

 

What a wonderful post!! I have pretty much followed the same type of plan with my own DS. His passion is computers and music, so I let him spend plenty of time with these during his high school years. He started his own band, is the lead singer, and pretty much administrates the band's schedule and finances. I told him to list all these things on his college applications, and he was accepted at every college he applied to. I also had him take two dual enrollment classes at the local university his senior year. It gave him a chance to have a "taste" of college, and it freed me up a bit from teaching courses that I had no knowledge to teach. Because of finances my ds has gone to the local university (which is a community college version of the large university in the capital city of our state). He was on the dean's list Fall semester, and I think he will make it again. No, he isn't going to a big Ivy league school nor is he attending a private college. He still lives at home, but he has been mentored by godly people in my church and has been able to stay involved with his band. His professors have been very kind to him and have offered him valuable information to help him choose future schools once he gets his Associate Degree. One big plus was that my ds was awarded a state scholarship, so his tuition has been paid for!!

 

Blessings,

Jan

[Mama Lynx]

 

If you children have a goal of med school or something along those lines, you need to show them what is required and that you will help them but they have to want it badly enough themselves. They have to take ownership. What do they want? Do they want to do what you have picked out?

 

 

I think this is the key.

 

I see signs in my oldest (only 12, so I know he may well change before high school) that he is not very motivated. He talks about wanting to go to West Point. However, when I talk about what he'll have to do to get in ... he's really not motivated to work that hard in those areas.

 

It's hard, hard, hard to not motivate him and manage it myself; however, if he doesn't take ownership of what he wants, and what he has to do to reach that goal, then me getting him in is not really doing him any favors. If he's not motivated to do the work to get in, how will he manage once he's there?

 

I was very motivated to go to college. I think my son will be too, in a few years. I hope so. But I do think having them take ownership of the goal is the key.

[RoughCollie]

Wow! Thanks for your replies. I was too tired yesterday to think and type simultaneously, but I read and gave serious thought what each of you said. I really appreciate your taking the time to reply to my post.

 

I agree that extra-curricular activities are very important. My kids will be doing a community service project when they are in 10th or 11th grade. Volunteer opportunities abound around here for kids who are ages 15 and up.

 

I checked what the colleges in this area require from students they admit, and that is what got me started down this road.

 

I have selected curricula which I think offer the kids maximum enjoyment and excellent content. I have high hopes that researching, reading, and writing about a topic will be more interesting to the kids than merely reading a dry textbook and memorizing a series of facts. All of them hate the textbook approach.

 

I have looked at a lot of textbooks, and only the biology text is one that I would inflict upon my kids. People here on the boards suggested these, and I have high hopes for High School Biology in Your Home, a biology textbook called Exploring The Way Life Works: The Science of Biology, and Trisms Discovering the Ancient World.

 

The main reason I am interested in the kids taking AP classes in 10th and 11th grades is to validate their transcripts. If they end up at colleges that give credit for those classes, that is icing on the cake.

 

As far as passions are concerned, my boys are interested in (1) everything about baseball and sleeping, (2) reading fantasy literature, creative writing, and computer stuff, and (3) sleeping, playing World of Warcraft, Dilbert and The Simpsons. Hopefully they will develop interests that will lead them to a career they enjoy. Meanwhile, #1 gets to write about baseball a lot in writing class and this year gets to read some baseball books for school, too. Boy #2 already does creative writing on his own and we will be studying myths next year, which he loves. Boy #3 will be going to PS next year and we will see how that works out because it is like pulling teeth to get him to do his homework now -- next year, it will be 3 hours a night of homework.

 

I bought an interesting book last week, The Teenager's Guide to the Real World, by Marshall Brain. I read the sample chapters on the author's website, and I've read about half the book, and I'm impressed. This book is subtitled How to Become a Successful Adult. The boys are reading it one chapter at a time, so they have time to think about what they have read. I hope they are more inclined to listen to the author than they are to listen to DH and me.

 

Now, I don't think that attending an Ivy League school is the only option for my kids. DH is the one who is big on that. As I've been thinking about all this, I've come to realize that I forgot my maxim on goal setting: Set only those goals over which I control the outcome. If someone else's efforts control the outcome, then the goals are not mine because whether I achieve them depends on large part on what another person does and that is not within my control.

 

I can lead the horses to water, but I cannot make them drink. If any of my children end up slinging hash for a living, it will not be because me. I can offer them opportunities like crazy, but it is up to them to take full advantage of those things. I definitely have no control over the level of their ambition or over their willingness to work hard. They have responsibilities too, and if they drop the ball, they will suffer the consequences. I know I won't drop the ball on my end.

 

I hope the behavior and attitudes I see in my kids is a result of immaturity and that they will develop into responsible adults some day. I am doing my part to the best of my considerable ability, and that is all that anyone can ask of me.

 

I have to keep this all straight in my head. There are factors over which I have no control, so I am not solely responsible for the outcome for each child. I cannot run a homeschool that is based on goals set by outsiders. I will make sure that my kids take the classes they need to graduate and to get into various colleges, I will supply them with materials, opportunities, teaching, and guidance, and it is up to them to do the rest.

 

I will be disappointed if the kids don't achieve what I want for them, but I'll have to deal with that and move on. These are not robots, they are people and they are responsible for their own actions and responses.

 

I'm also going to take this one year at a time. I have 9th grade planned in general, and with an eye to what the boys will need in grades 10-12. Certainly the education they get at home is more than sufficient.

 

I am homeschooling these two boys because in my opinion, the public high school cannot meet their educational or special needs. One of them has Asperger's Syndrome and the other has Nonverbal Learning Disorder. I hope to lead them from a tutoring style of receiving education to independent study over the next four years, so that they will be prepared to take regular classes in college.

 

Thank you all very much for your help. I am not in despair any more. I think I can do this. High school doesn't have to be such a drastic departure from the way I have been homeschooling. It will be more intense, but not a plunge off the deep end into shark-filled waters.

 

RC

[Nan in Mass]

I erased a bit of my post because it was getting SO long and I didn't think it applied to you, but now I'm not so sure, so I'm retyping it GRIN. When I was planning 9th grade, I told my son that now things were going to have to be different because we were doing high school now; he would have to work more independently and we'd have to do grades and other things like that. He begged me to keep doing school the way we always had - all together with his brother and me and no grades, cosy-casual-style. He was so hurt-looking that I gave in. I raised my expectations (and we had a rough half-a-year getting used to the new standards - should have done it quietly and gradually - live and learn), but I didn't change the style of our homeschooling. Instead, each year I took a subject we didn't care much about and had him do it independently. By the time he got to 17yo and a junior, he had grown lots, developped interests other than Calvin and Hobbs and gymnastics, could handle CC classes alone, and even decided what he wants to do for a career (with med school as a second possiblility), making it much easier to decide how to validate his transcript and present his work to colleges. I think, with what you are doing, that you might find the book The (or A?) Homeschooler's Guide to Portfolios and Transcripts useful. It goes into detail about how to translate a slightly unusual high school experience into college application language. I wish I'd read it at the beginning of high school, because I think it would have been useful for setting our goals. It helps you decide how to document work, also.

-nan

[Gwen in VA]

A quick comment -- the difference between 14yo boys and 18yo boys is the difference between a candle and a spotlight.

 

They mature SO much in those years. They have lots of growing up to do -- and time will give them vision, maturity, self-confidence, poise, passion, and drive. They need your help to grow into men, but that growth process can't necessarily be hurried.

 

Plan, worry, and think ahead, but don't rush the maturing. It will happen when you least expect it!

[TravelingChris]

I don't know what exactly we will do with the last two. Our first one did honors classes but no AP by choice. He did very well on his tests. He had great extra-curriculars. He got half tuition scholarships to a few colleges and chose one. Now he is home from college after 2 1/2 years and we will be happy if he gets a job. (He is suffering from major depression). This is all coloring my outlook so much I don't think I can answer well. You do the best that you can and sometimes things go well and sometimes they don't. My ninth grader will have to work this summer to end up with six credits. She is doing very well considering her health problems and the stress that her brother's illness is having. I won't be trying to get her into a pressure cooker though. We will start CC classes this fall and go that route with her. We will decide later on whether to try for any CLEP or AP tests with either of the last two.

[RoughCollie]

Thank you for telling me this. It has been a long time since I was a teenager, and I have no clue how teenagers mature. Our neighbors' kids seem to be adults now that they are 17 or so, but I can't imagine my boys changing anything except their heights.

 

Hey, Gwen, maybe maturity is happening here! Last night, two of the boys spent a long time discussing the pros (which are what, exactly?) and cons of the Vietnam War with me. I was a pre-teen and teenager during the war years, so at least I could contribute to the conversation. Last year, they would not have had the slightest interest in discussing this.

 

 

RC

 

A quick comment -- the difference between 14yo boys and 18yo boys is the difference between a candle and a spotlight.

 

Plan, worry, and think ahead, but don't rush the maturing. It will happen when you least expect it!

[RoughCollie]

Thank you for the advice and for the book suggestion, Nan. I was wondering how to do portfolios for the boys, just in case they needed them.

 

I think I scared my boys when I told them that high school would be a big change from the way things have been around here. We were pretty relaxed during grades 1-8, so much so that I was truly shocked when the boys did very well on a couple of standardized tests they took.

 

I'm going to miss those days ... but it is time to get more serious. I especially miss the years we did FIAR -- oh my, it was fun.

 

RC

 

When I was planning 9th grade, I told my son that now things were going to have to be different because we were doing high school now; he would have to work more independently and we'd have to do grades and other things like that... Instead, each year I took a subject we didn't care much about and had him do it independently... I think, with what you are doing, that you might find the book The (or A?) Homeschooler's Guide to Portfolios and Transcripts useful.

[RoughCollie]

Gosh, Christina, you all have a lot on your plates right now.

 

I like the idea of my kids taking the SAT II subject tests, which can be taken right after they finish a course. That will validate the grades I put on their transcripts.

 

I'm going to wait to decide about AP classes. It depends on how much time they will take, compared to a regular high school course, and upon the boys' willingness and interest in taking them.

 

RC

 

I don't know what exactly we will do with the last two.

[Linda in NM]

We're going to continue traditionally, with lots of "couch learning" for literature and Trisms--some stuff on his own (algebra, biology <blech>)...and lots of ice time. I've just gotten home from a marathon (Player Select Camp in Utah, and a follow-up tryout in Phoenix...he's made a bunch of AAA teams, with offers to be billeted (at just-turned-14!)...so we're going to Team Northwest over the summer, and "playing up" on Midgets from home next year...we'll see if the following year brings Michigan <yikes> or Junior A <double-yikes>. He's on the Red roster for the 94s for Team Northwest, and we'll be at the Calgary Stampede in June. It's all about hockey for my son...he's working out (physical training) about 1 to 1 1/2 hours/day off ice to prepare for various camps and events this summer...and we still find time for baseball, viola, and school.

[4wildberrys]

Well---I have felt since we began homeschooling 8 years ago an intense desire to make education not only interesting and fun, but an experience that makes my kids WANT to learn! This desire is totally based on my own schooling experiences-----my parents sent us to the BEST private schools they could afford, including an exclusive private college prep high school. We had SO much homework---and the focus was SO narrow---yep----shoot for the Ivy League---nothing else mattered. cram sessions for SAT, East Coast college tours, 4 hours of homework a night----:ack2: By the time I got to college----I was totally burnt out and just wanted to party :cheers2: and live life. Two years into college---I was done. I was sick of school, so I met the love of my life, got married and started having kids. NO degree! :D So I am being VERY careful not to focus too much on academics with my kids----I want them to have a well-rounded LIFE, not just education! College for them IS important to me----but I am being very careful to make sure they want it too. So I am pushing the academics I guess in a very careful way. At this point---dd who will be in 10th is VERY motivated and WANTS more work and WANTS college. But she is very artistic and musical---so she has plenty of time to nurture her true loves---and if that is what she wanted to major in---I am fine with that. My parents---though----would NEVER have allowed this type of pursuit. :glare: There will be NO AP classes in this house, NO cramming for SAT/ACT, NO obsession with credits etc......If a college has a problem with us not lining up in this manner---well, to another college that IS okay with our way of doing things it is..............

[RoughCollie]

Exactly! I do not want burned out kids.

 

We had SO much homework---and the focus was SO narrow---yep----shoot for the Ivy League---nothing else mattered. cram sessions for SAT, East Coast college tours, 4 hours of homework a night----:ack2: By the time I got to college----I was totally burnt out and just wanted to party :cheers2: and live life.

[Veronica in VA]

Well---I have felt since we began homeschooling 8 years ago an intense desire to make education not only interesting and fun, but an experience that makes my kids WANT to learn! This desire is totally based on my own schooling experiences-----my parents sent us to the BEST private schools they could afford, including an exclusive private college prep high school. We had SO much homework---and the focus was SO narrow---yep----shoot for the Ivy League---nothing else mattered. cram sessions for SAT, East Coast college tours, 4 hours of homework a night----:ack2: By the time I got to college----I was totally burnt out and just wanted to party :cheers2: and live life. Two years into college---I was done. I was sick of school, so I met the love of my life, got married and started having kids. NO degree! :D So I am being VERY careful not to focus too much on academics with my kids----I want them to have a well-rounded LIFE, not just education! College for them IS important to me----but I am being very careful to make sure they want it too. So I am pushing the academics I guess in a very careful way. At this point---dd who will be in 10th is VERY motivated and WANTS more work and WANTS college. But she is very artistic and musical---so she has plenty of time to nurture her true loves---and if that is what she wanted to major in---I am fine with that. My parents---though----would NEVER have allowed this type of pursuit. :glare: There will be NO AP classes in this house, NO cramming for SAT/ACT, NO obsession with credits etc......If a college has a problem with us not lining up in this manner---well, to another college that IS okay with our way of doing things it is..............

 

:iagree:. BTDT. I did finally finish my degree, but I made up my mind then never to push my kids into college, etc if that is not what they wanted.

 

Veronica