Finding more rope

[mmasmommy]

When you are at the end of your rope what do you do to find more?

 

I am currently -

 

HSing

Working part time outside of the home (evenings/Saturday 20 hrs per week)

Working part time from home

Training for a 1/2 marathon (read spending a million hours a day running)

Then there's all the chores of life, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc

 

I am exhausted and spread too thin and my frustration is manifesting itself in my mood. I think my poor DH & kids are ready to trade me in for a new model.

 

I have been reading The Power of the Positive Mom and while I see the ways I should change, as bad as it sounds it just seems like so much work for this already exhausted mama.

 

How do you put on the happy face, stay calm amidst frustration, and be the Mother/Wife you want to be?

[MeghanL]

When I get to that point I always have to cut something out of my schedule. When I'm working part-time, nursing, pregnant or any combination of the above I hire a housecleaner since I have to cut out the chores. When I am homeschooling and training for a specific event, I have to cut out working part-time. I think too, keeping in mind that everything is just for a season helps tremendously. So even if it's not the right time for something I really want to do now, that doesn't mean I won't ever get to do it, even though that's instantly what I think.

[emmn]

I have come to the conclusion that there is never going to be enough rope. Either something has to go, or my expectations have to change.

[fairfarmhand]

I have come to the conclusion that there is never going to be enough rope. Either something has to go, or my expectations have to change.

:iagree:

[NanceXToo]

I have come to the conclusion that there is never going to be enough rope. Either something has to go, or my expectations have to change.

 

Love this.

 

I'm personally a firm believer that 99% of it is attitude. If you have a "this is too much, I can't do this, this is too hard" sort of attitude- it seems harder. If you have a more optimistic/positive "I'll do what I can and have as much fun as I can have doing it" attitude (which DOES take conscious effort sometimes), things suddenly seem easier, in my experience.

 

You're homeschooling. Okay. Are you stressing over cramming in every subject under the sun and sometimes more than once? Or are you a more relaxed homeschooler? If the former, can you work on the latter? I'm a pretty relaxed homeschooler who doesn't believe in tons of busywork, or "supplementing," who does school around life rather than living life around school, we're having fun, and my kids are thriving and learning.

 

You're working- okay, well only you know how much of that is necessary to supplement your family's income so I can't really comment on it other than to ask whether the family can pitch in and help with any of it.

 

You're training for a 1/2 marathon- that's exciting! Sounds like that's something you're doing for YOU, and that's great! Can you involve the kids in that at all? Make it educational and enjoyable? Worst case scenario, can you just remind yourself that it's temporary?

 

There are chores of life, of course. Some of them just aren't as important as others. Some of them can be delegated or done together. Some of them can be done less often or with a bit less attention.

 

And of course, a support system- whether it's a friend, a relative, a homeschool group, or this message board- is helpful, too- sometimes you do just have to vent, or laugh, or something.

 

But hang in there... you know what I love? Someone's quote that says something about how the days are long, but the years are short. That's so true. A year, two years, ten years from now, what will have mattered when you look back on your life, your relationship with your husband and kids? Focus on THAT.

 

:grouphug:

[Giraffe]

Short term rope lengthening - Starbucks or Barnes & Noble with a book and a coffee (and no kids or DH).

 

Long term lengthening - cut something, hire something out (housekeeping), let something go.

[GTJo1996]

My Mom likes to say that I am not happy unless I have 80 irons in the fire. I stay busy and over-commit myself on a regular basis. But YOU my friend, YOU are seriously overdoing it! Prioritize, and take a break one day to evaluate what makes you happy. Now, I'm going to go take some of my own advice and figure out what I can say NO to that is on my plate this month!

[regentrude]

My rope gets a lot longer when I cut household chores and focus on the things that REALLY must be done (food on the table, clean clothes on our backs).

My kids will not remember whether the house was spotless.

 

If you cut anything, DO NOT cut your "me time". Keep running, it;s good for you - and more important than cleaning house.

[Desert Rat]

I don't find more rope. I tie a knot and swing for awhile.

[Tap]

Have you ever de-frag'd your computer? It is a way to squish your computers memory into tighter packed spaces instead of being spread out.

 

I de-frag my life. LOL

 

I look for opportunities in my time where I am waiting for something or can easily do two things at once.

 

IE I have a bad back, and when I am doing a lot of lifting/moving things around I have to ice it periodically. Yesterday I was cleaning the attic but also wanted to plan my garden. I left my gardening books by my computer, so when I came to ice my back (and of course visit WTM--lol) I instead used that time to plan my garden. By purposefully 'naming' my back icing time "garden planning" I got the work done and still had time to hang here too.

 

I will also purposefully plan double duty: cooking dinner with returning calls. Plan dd4s bath for when I am doing laundry (folding putting away) because they are next to each other in the house. Wash the car while dd4 is playing outside. I try to think of things that I can do together and save those things for during that time.

[mmasmommy]

Thanks all!

 

This is our first year hsing so I'm sure I'm way more stressed about it than I should be. I'm working on relaxing there. I'm just so afraid I'm going to miss something important.

 

The 1/2 marathon is May 15th, so less than a month of training left. I just have to keep pushing through. Prior to starting this I had never even run a mile, I'm sooooo looking forward to crossing that finish line and being able to say I did it!

 

Unfortunately the jobs are essential to our paying the bills. I'm really hoping to quit one of them by the end of the year but I'm still trying to make the numbers work there.

 

The house is the biggest place that I've let slide. Thank God for my wonderful DH who has picked up the slack. It just makes me feel so guilty to look at the mess.

 

If I can make it to May 25th we will be on summer break, the marathon will be over, and I will have Saturdays off work for the summer. I guess for the next 35 days I will do what Kalah said and tie a knot and hang on for dear life! :001_smile:

[Mrs Mungo]

I have come to the conclusion that there is never going to be enough rope. Either something has to go, or my expectations have to change.

 

Absolutely.

 

There are ways to streamline certain chores. Get together with a friend and do OAM cooking. Hire a housekeeper and/or get the family to pitch in more. Cut work hours. Decide to train for half marathons instead of marathons (shorter runs). Ultimately? Time and energy are finite.

 

In my experience, spreading yourself too thin means you don't do *anything* well.