I'm just going to come out and ask it!

[atara]

I have to be totally honest. And, usually there is someone else with these same fears but scared to ask! So here goes and please be nice!

 

Here is my biggest fear about home schooling. I'm afraid my child will be "dumb," "ignorant," and not in general, miss out on development of his intellect.

 

Now, have I seen home schoolers are below level? Yes, sure.

 

Have I seen home schoolers are are at or ABOVE level? Absolutely! YES! YES!

 

So, for you parents out there who home school and were like me - perfectionist, schedule minded, dot the i and cross the t kind of person - how did you take the leap?

Edited March 25, 2011 by atara

[eternalknot]

... with both eyes closed, nose pinched.

 

Seriously, you just dive right in. Homeschooling has been a learning avenue for me, too ;) and it's taken a few years to even out those personality kinks that were making homeschool more of a chore than a responsibility.

 

Maybe your son will be dumb and ignorant - I highly doubt it, given your personality type, but sure ... it's possible. Might he not be the same in another educational setting, too, though? I guess for me it boiled down to realizing that he's a human and not a blank hard-drive that I could fill with every detail of every interesting thing I wanted to fill his head with. Neither could non-homeschools. I decided I'd never know if I could do better or worse if I never jumped in the water; I jumped, and have kept an open mind. We re-evaluate every year and rather than commit to homeschooling as a movement, I commit to my child. If he starts missing out on development or gets dumber or something, I've kept my options open.

 

Jump in already ;) we're all here to toss you a floatie when and if you need it, at anytime throughout your journey!

[FO4UR]

Well, if you HS you will have the greatest control over the atmosphere and opportunities to grow his intellect.

 

Hsing is what you make it.

[Colleen in NS]

So, for you parents out there who home school and were like me - perfectionist, schedule minded, dot the i and cross the t kind of person - how did you take the leap?

 

I had no problem deciding to homeschool, but that was back when I was reading a bunch of unschooler books, and my kids were babies and toddlers and it all sounded so fun. How did I take the leap into deliberately teaching my kids academic skills so that their intellects could develop? By reading and implementing ideas/resources in the book, The Well-Trained Mind. I've been using it for seven years and have never regretted it. My newly 13yo is MUCH farther along intellectually than I was at his age. In fact, I think he surpassed me, age-for-age-wise, years ago. I do attribute it to all I've learned through the WTM book and these forums.

[Night Elf]

You forgot to ask these questions:

 

Now, have I seen children in schools below level? Yes.

 

Have I seen children in school at or above level? Yes.

 

I focused on these because your post gives the impression that you believe schools ALWAYS do a good job and that if you attempt it, you might fail. But the truth is that there is always that possibility of failure if you have your children in school. I do not personally believe one is superior over the other. I think it's how the education is approached that makes a difference.

 

Many people homeschool successfully. Many don't. There are so many factors to consider. It sounds like you would give your child(ren) the attention and quality of education that you deem necessary, which BTW, will definitely be different from someone else's idea of homeschooling. Not even everyone on this board homeschools in the same way. :)

 

I started homeschooling during my son's Kindergarten year. I had a backup plan. If we didn't do well or didn't like it, we could put him back into school for 1st grade and he would still be above grade level. It took 2 months for us to feel really comfortable and by the time public school was to start, we knew without a doubt that we coud do this. That was 10 years ago. There have been bumps and hiccups obviously, but there is just so much information and support on the internet that I was able to find advice and help with every issue I encountered.

[Annabel Lee]

n/m

Edited March 25, 2011 by Annabel Lee

[atara]

i think the struggle for me is that I have a memory of what it's like to be in school and have different teachers, move through grades, etc. So, I would compare my home schooling to that or in reference to that in some way.

 

With home schooling, I don't have a reference point. I have friends who do it, I go to forums and blogs, but have I ever spent even one day observing a home schooling family? No. I can sense which Moms are more structures and those who are very laid back just from the things they say, but to get a real sense of ideas is hard. If I had my way, I'd visit 5-10 families of all different styles to help me figure this out!

 

I actually had a "yee hah" moment this week with my son. His teacher told my husband (he is 2 years old and still needs some childcare while I work from home) that he was very well behaved and smarter than the rest of the kids in his class. I've had other teachers comment on his abilities as well. But I work (home school) with him every morning and night. I always have. I don't think the daycare offers more than I do, that's for sure! I have all kinds of resources thanks to home schooling forums like these and inspiration from families I know. I think that's what many parents do, though. When a child goes to school (especially a fancy school!) the parents just becomes "hands off." Like "Hey I'm paying for that education so it's not on me!" That is so sad.

 

I'm curious how I'll feel about this (home schooling 100%) when he is able to stay home with me during the day while I work. THAT'S when it will really get fun (or scary!). But in the meantime, perhaps it is these small victories that will increase my confidence in my ability to teach my own child. A home schooling Mom once told me that we are teaching our child from the day they are born. I think that's why I didn't stop working with him just because he goes to a little learning center/daycare place for now.

Edited March 25, 2011 by atara

[eternalknot]

With home schooling, I don't have a reference point. I have friends who do it, I go to forums and blogs, but have I ever spent even one day observing a home schooling family? No. I can sense which Moms are more structures and those who are very laid back just from the things they say, but to get a real sense of ideas is hard. If I had my way, I'd visit 5-10 families of all different styles to help me figure this out!

 

That's part of the beauty of it. You appear to be a planner type personality, and so of course a reference would seem of vital importance (!) It would guide you and be something you could refer back to in times of uncertainty or doubt or confusion.

 

Trust me - that frame of reference will only drive you more crazy. AND! In time, as you fall more in with the various homeschool communities (both online and in real life), you'll start to see patterns. That frame of reference will pop up and offer you a million different references from which to question yourself and your own homeschool LOL. It's a curse. Really. Take this opportunity to work on that particular personality quirk and toss it to the wind. (Easier said than done, BTDT and still wearing the tee-shirt!) but truly it's more liberating to simply embrace the unfamiliar and tweak it to meet MY needs rather than to try and fit my needs into a pre-existing familiar format.

 

It's scary ... but definitely worth the discomfort of doing :D

[WTMCassandra]

So, for you parents out there who home school and were like me - perfectionist, schedule minded, dot the i and cross the t kind of person - how did you take the leap?

 

One day I had to stop planning and take the plunge, even though I was afraid.

 

Honestly, I think your personality will help you a lot in structure and discipline. If a homeschool falters, it is usually for lack of structure and discipline, IMHO. If you stick with the stuff, day in and day out, your children will be just fine. Homeschooling is all about plodding, day in and day out.:tongue_smilie:

[atara]

That's part of the beauty of it. You appear to be a planner type personality, and so of course a reference would seem of vital importance (!) It would guide you and be something you could refer back to in times of uncertainty or doubt or confusion.

 

Trust me - that frame of reference will only drive you more crazy. ..... It's a curse. Really........ Take this opportunity to work on that particular personality quirk and toss it to the wind.

 

It's scary ... but definitely worth the discomfort of doing :D

 

You have so much wisdom! I never looked at it that way but you are so right. This is something I will start looking at discarding in a very serious way. Looking to others for ideas is one thing, but thinking I'm not doing enough and driving myself (and my kid) crazy is another. God bless home schooling Moms - SERIOUSLY! They have SOOOOOOOO changed my life. I used to be so uptight (yes, even tighter than nowHA!) but when I had my son it was the HOME SCHOOLING Mom who would smile gently and me and encourage me to not worry so much, to enjoy him, and it was obvious the if my son were loud they didn't mind or freak out.:grouphug: I am so blessed to know them.:grouphug:

[WTMCassandra]

With home schooling, I don't have a reference point.

 

I use WTM and these boards as my reference point. I don't know anyone IRL who is doing what we are doing. Most people IRL think I am too picky/strict/overly academic, even though I am not nearly the most academic person on these boards :lol:.

[Mary in VA]

You know that you are already homeschooling, so just keep doing it. :001_smile: You didn't start school with a bunch of different teachers and subjects; I'm assuming you started with kindergarten, or preschool, so will your ds. You really can't mess up kindergarten too badly :001_smile:

 

The biggest thing I wish I had learned when we started this hs journey was to RELAX, and you already know that, at least in your head :001_smile: I know how it is, I'm a big time planner. I've learned that my plans don't always work, but it's about finding out what does work. When I read TWTM in 2001, I thought I had found the PERFECT way for our homeschool, but nope, it wasn't. I liked it, but it took me 2-3 years to figure out it wasn't the best fit for my dds. But it's okay, we found out what worked for us and moved on. Now one is a junior in college, and one is in 10th grade. We're almost finished and it was so worth it! I wouldn't change a thing really, except to have RELAXED more!

 

You can do this!!!

 

Mary

[momma aimee]

I have to be totally honest. And, usually there is someone else with these same fears but scared to ask! So here goes and please be nice!

 

Here is my biggest fear about home schooling. I'm afraid my child will be "dumb," "ignorant," and not in general, miss out on development of his intellect.

 

Now, have I seen home schoolers are below level? Yes, sure.

 

Have I seen home schoolers are are at or ABOVE level? Absolutely! YES! YES!

 

So, for you parents out there who home school and were like me - perfectionist, schedule minded, dot the i and cross the t kind of person - how did you take the leap?

 

I am you to a T -- and I'll tell you ...I looked at the test scores of our local school and said "well I can't do much worse than THAT"

 

as for a reference pioint, DH and I have agreed to testing, either at Syvian or via the local school district or ____ after 2nd or 3rd (once we feel they are reading strongly and can 'test' accurately).

 

if you search on - line there are endless scope and sequences, or benchmark lists or "critera" or _____ [insert term here] for each grade. I take a few (CA usally, our local state, and the world Book and Core KNowledge) and combine them to make our own 'goal list' (or i have for Kindy -- that is where we are) so i do look at standards differnt schools go by, and make our own.

[EKS]

I

Here is my biggest fear about home schooling. I'm afraid my child will be "dumb," "ignorant," and not in general, miss out on development of his intellect.

 

 

 

What's funny is that my biggest fear about sending my kids to school, and the primary reason I homeschool now, is that I'm afraid they will turn out this way if they go to school.

 

As for your question, I stepped off the cliff into homeschooling because I was desperate. My older son (then in 1st grade) was failing and the school was no help.

[May]

I took the leap because I couldn't take seeing her sad little face when she got off the school bus. I took the leap because she had alot of stomach aches during the school year. I took the leap because she would break down sobbing when she had homework or projects to do. I took the leap because each year in school, she seemed to get further and further behind. My only regret, I've should have done it sooner.

[dangermom]

I have friends who do it, I go to forums and blogs, but have I ever spent even one day observing a home schooling family? No. I can sense which Moms are more structures and those who are very laid back just from the things they say, but to get a real sense of ideas is hard. If I had my way, I'd visit 5-10 families of all different styles to help me figure this out!

 

 

So do that. Ask your friends if you can visit and see what they do. After that, get to know the folks at your local park group and see if any of them will let you come over. Why not?

[....]

So, for you parents out there who home school and were like me - perfectionist, schedule minded, dot the i and cross the t kind of person - how did you take the leap?

 

 

That's me, extremely neurotic...:001_smile: I saw what my kids were doing in ps and it wasn't very impressive. In fact, I was working with them at home when they weren't in school and I didn't realize it at the time, but I was basically already homeschooling them.

 

I can't tell how old your kids are...

 

Also, I have a kid (our kid #3) who I love to death...but she wouldn't last very long in ps. She would be in trouble all the time. My phone would be ringing off the hook during school hours. :tongue_smilie: She's very bright, but she's really rowdy! :D

[NanceXToo]

I agree with Night Elf.

 

You could ask yourself those same questions about PUBLIC SCHOOL. Many kids come out of 12 years of public school and they're near illiterate, have horrible grammar skills, they're very immature, there's just so much they don't know, or only memorized temporarily to pass a test and then immediately put out of their heads...

 

...and yet, I see so many homeschoolers worried about "gaps." To me, that's needless worry!

 

I've seen some public schooled kids around here who make me cringe with how poor their reading or grammar skills are. I've seen some ADULTS around here who make me cringe for the same reasons- high school graduates themselves. I've heard teachers around here use the word "yous," like "yous guys need to stop that right now."

 

I've seen the results of the standardized tests come out in the local papers each year and noted how most districts in this area don't even meet state average when it comes to their scores.

 

I have convinced myself that I CANNOT POSSIBLY DO WORSE when it comes to educating my child. And hopefully I can do better.

 

Certainly, I have the best interests of my child at heart, really and truly, and I can give her individual attention and time... and what school can say that?

 

I also have the benefits of having more time with my child, doing more hands on and fun things, learning, in some cases, alongside her, knowing that she's safe with me, worrying less about some of the horrid things that go on in middle schools these days, and so on.

 

I've reassured myself by reading about how if my child wants to go to college, their are plenty of homeschool friendly colleges out there.

 

I tell myself that I don't have to know everything. I can learn with her. I can show her where/how to get information that I don't have myself. And I know that as she gets older, if she becomes interested in a certain job field or path in life, she's going to be highly self-motivated to do what she needs to do in order to get there.

 

Maybe I'm just really lucky. Or maybe it just hasn't hit me yet and might still when my daughter gets to her high school years (she's only in fifth grade now). But as of now... I feel really comfortable with my choice and I really don't worry that she'll be "dumb" or that she'll have "gaps" or that I might be making a mistake or any such thing. I'm doing my best by her, and there will come a time where she'll have to do her best by herself, and I think I have the potential to do more good than harm when it comes to her general development- education included. Whereas I believe with the public school system, the opposite is true.

[5LittleMonkeys]

No one here or IRL can say or show you anything that will prepare you for homeschooling your own dc. You just have to jump in and wallow in it for awhile. Squish it between your fingers and toes, roll around in it, taste it...:tongue_smilie: Be prepared that you may change things around a lot in the first year...or two. You are starting from the beginning though so you have the advantage of just continuing on with what you are already doing with him and just bumping up the difficulty each year. I jumped in when my oldest was in 5th! We ironed out most of the bumps though and now things are going smoothly for the most part (we have some issues with one of my dc but we would have those, and probably worse, if she were in ps anyway).

 

I don't homeschool just for academic reasons so the idea of needing to do a better job than ps was never first on my mind but I knew I could do at least as well as the ps. Now that I've been at it for a while I realize that even not trying very hard they are doing better than their peers. You just can't argue with the advantages of one on one, individualized attention.

[meggie]

I am a big planner and a big worrier. If I could do it all over again (my oldest is five, so that's only going back a few years), I would have spent less time researching curricula for when he was five and enjoying the stage he was at. It seemed like I really wanted him to hurry and grow up so we could get started on school. My wish list of things to do with him is about a mile long: there's spelling, grammar, reading, handwriting, writing, history, science, math, French, art and music lessons, art and music appreciation, plus life skills, PE, and field trips. If that's not enough to burn someone out, I don't know what would be. So when it came time to actually start, I wished I was perfect enough to get to all that, but just knew it wouldn't happen. So I started with the three things that HAD to be done every day: reading, writing, and math. Since we just started on Monday, everything's going fine. When we get in this routine, I'll start adding in another subject, probably history or science. And not in a formal way, but with SOTW and BFSU and lots of read alouds to go along with it (my son loves books and I could read to him all day and he'd be happy).

 

So how does a perfectionist jump in? Start with the bare minimum and then add one thing at a time until you get to your "ideal". And stay away from the desire to buy everything in sight because its promises sound good. Start with the recommendations in WTM (no need to reinvent the wheel) and keep going with them if they work. Only switch if you absolutely have to.

This was a fear I recently ran into with Math. I had chosen MUS because it would theoretically work for visual, auditory and tactile learners. Plus it has enough teacher support (math scares me) to not scare me. After I bought it, I found out (on this board) about other programs' that sounded "better". After freaking out a very long time about how he was going to be dumb in math because I'd chosen the wrong curriculum, I had to let it go. He's more likely to have struggles in math if I keep switching curricula. MUS is a perfectly good curriculum and it works for both of us and if he continues to "only" do one level a year, he'll still end up with PreCalc at graduation. And hopefully he'll be better at it than most high school graduates. And if math is not his thing, I won't worry about it too much either. I found that I can't try to live vicariously through him and make sure he's absolutely perfect at everything I am imperfect at. He'll have his

strengths and weaknesses and the beauty of homeschooling is that I can tailor to both.

 

(I also bought a lot of SWB mp3 downloads and listened to them and found out WHY they recommend a lot of the stuff they do ie, why science isn't too experiment heavy in 1st grade, why copy work is so important, etc. I would suggest you listen to some of these; they were money very well spent for me to calm my nerves).