mamakven Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am very frustrated. My dc are in 10th, 6th, 4th, 1st, grades and i have a 4yo and ACTIVE 18 month old boy twins, and i'm at a loss for how to make it all work out... We do science history bible and art together, everything else is independent, other than the 1st grder, which everything is hands on. So my nights are unpredictable, i already have sleeping issues but if one or both of them are up, i'm non-functional the next day. its already to the point where i have neurological issues enough to have actually gone to the ER once becuase i had signs of a brain damage or stroke, and it was chalked up to sleep deprivation and vertigo. So anyway, at any given point in the day, i have myself and a child assigned to babies. they don't nap on a schedule and rarely nap concurrently, and my 6th grader goes to school for 2 classes in the afternoon, so planning our group school time is REALLY hard!! What i REALLY want to do is do group school first thing in the morning to get it done with, but the babies destroy the house and/or risk injury if i leave them to run the house. Most of the time i just give up, but we REALLY need to start being more productive... sigh... Anyone have an easy button???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Celia Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I'm sorry I don't have much of any advice to give you... I have a first grader, a 4yo and an busy climbing toddler, and I find things hairy at that! The only solution I can see is to have some outside help, designate some night-time care to your dh, or put more responsibility on your older kids (or a combination of all three). Perhaps for your group time you could really baby proof an area for the twins and do your group work in there? You really sound so spent, and all I can offer is sympathy. Many super big hugs to you. Find as many ways to simplify your life as possible. You need to take care of yourself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
extendedforecast Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I don't have 18mo. old twins, but I do have a 26mo. old and a 5mo. old who are on opposite schedules. Our group school time happens 1-2 hours before the littles wake up. I am not a morning person, neither are my children, but this is the only way it works for us. I would love to school at night after the little ones go to bed, but it's too hard to switch into school mode after dinner and play/tv time. I'm curious to read your replies. I have a lot to learn on this topic. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moonlight Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 can you find programs for the subjects that you do together that your dc can do independently? don't they sell those at staples?? just go buy one and when you find it, send one over to me! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 If I were you (and I know the bullets will fly at me for saying this), I would find a 3 day-a-week preschool/daycare program and put the 18 month-old boys in it for a while. If you're showing signs of stroke, that is very, very serious. You also have a high schooler who needs you. The 6th and 4th grader could very well work independently from a syllabus or use a program like CLE. www.clp.org Oak Meadow is also written to the student at that level. www.oakmeadow.com 1st grade could take an hour a day and that would be plenty. I'm sorry. That sounds rough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 How much of the group stuff does your high schooler participate in? Is there any way the 10th grader could ride herd on the toddlers while you do group stuff with the elementary kids, and then be freed of baby duty to do her own schoolwork, possibly with the 6th grader riding herd for an hour while you go over anything w/ the 10th grader that needs your attention while the younger ones get a play break? Do you do a quiet time in the afternoons? Does the TV distract the littles for any time at all? Do you have a secure play yard you could set them loose in for a half hour? How does your DH help? Do you get any time to yourself in the evenings, presuming he's at work all day? Who handles bedtime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lamamaloca Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I've always had a baby or toddler around, although never twins and my kids are younger than yours, but group work hasn't worked well for us. I've had to find resources that, even if they aren't the best methodology available, work and can be used mostly independently. It is tough. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Yikes, that does sound very difficult. :grouphug: My suggestion would be to have the older children work as independently as possible (including the science, history, and art--maybe not bible?--that you are currently doing as a group), coming to you for help and bringing you their work to review when complete. For those subjects that require your supervision, especially with your first grader, work with individual children in a room that is toddler safe with your babies and 4yo. I like your idea of assigning a child to help with the little guys. We do something similar, assigning each child a 20 minute "shift" to play and read with our 3yo. I think you should also see your doctor about your physical symptoms. I think it will be a lot easier to get a handle on homeschooling if you are treated for your stress/anxiety/depression/whatever is causing these severe symptoms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Nope, no advice. Lots of kids = Not easy (at least while the littles are little. lol) You just need to find what works for you and your family and priorities. I've tried following someone else's methods and rarely did they work. :glare: There are trade-offs to have several kiddos and it's a challenge to keep the sacrifices to a minimum! I'm sure this isn't very encouraging, but for those of us who have chosen to fill our homes with babies, especially many close together, it's very difficult to get advice--we have to make our own way! What I see as an important priority in our day might be an utter waste of time or an educational disservice to another mom. LOL! I remember starting to read A Mom Just Like You by Vickie Farris, just *knowing* that this woman with so many kiddos was going to spark some motivation and encouragement for me! NOPE. I guess at the mention of her paid household help and other things she was able to spend money on to make her life easier while she had little ones, I no longer felt "just like her" and knew I had to figure it out based on MY life. :D On one hand, I think people dish out the "It's only a season" very glibly and even use it as an excuse--I know I have--to be less rigorous with school than they maybe should. Homeschooling combined with parenting is MORE than one full-time job, IMO! Don't expect it to be any less, but realize that you may have to have a wacky, "abnormal" schedule or methods to make it all work! We did school for years during naps, whenever they occurred. We still do school in the evenings and on weekends to make up for other obligations we have during the week (mainly older kids). I have to finish this race well and to do it well I have to do whatever it takes for ME even if it means I won't be able to do much else until I near the end! lol On the other hand...it IS only a season and that helps me get through. I'm so glad to have had my kids while I was fairly young so that I know I'll still have the energy and time to do many things that I want to accomplish beyond motherhood and homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakven Posted January 24, 2011 Author Share Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks so much for all your responses! I should clarify- i'm NOT having a stroke, just my neurological symptoms mimic that- i have had a CT scan and all that so i'm certain. :0) Definately considering preschool. Didn't even know it started that early!!! of course then i have more driving time... sigh... i'm fairly sure one of my twins is autistic, he is much like my oldest who is an aspie, so i'm going to probably pursue PS preschool as soon as i get him tested... if it was just elliott at home that would take a huge load off, as he's the easy one :-) Keep 'em coming ladies! i'm going to try a few new things today and see how it goes.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoastalGal Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 :grouphug: I've never had twins -- but I did homeschool with a 10 yo, 6 yo, 2 yo and two infants that I watched. A schedule is your friend...get those babies/toddlers on a schedule = PRONTO! Don't allow them to ruin the house...buy a gate (or two, three -- however many you need to keep them contained) and give them toys/activities to do while you school. Also seconding (or thirding) more independent curriculum -- group "classes" never worked for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Don't know your money situation, but I'd be thinking Mom's helper... I honestly think that for little kids and big kids to be together.... and homeschool... it's like at least 2 jobs pulling you apart. If money isn't an option.... I might think of "Night School".... so.... at night give instruction with help from Dad... in the day the kids could read and help with the babies.... Also, I am SOOOO into kinda wearing your babies... loving on them... co-sleeping. BUT, I'm into the mom living, too. SO, I would tire those littles out in the morning, read them a book... and say "night night" at 1pm or whatever. If I had to put them in separate bedrooms... so be it. BUT, I get very grumpy when littles don't take naps... I expect it'd be grumpy x2 with... 2 :) and for the 4 year old... 1-3 would be their rest time with a cd or whatever in their room... :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Only thing I can think of is a playpen. That way they aren't rampaging about. I don't have twins, just kids 19 mths and 7 days apart. It was challenging, keeping Tazzie occupied while I schooled Diva, and nursing all at the same time! Honestly, I think I'd get pretty insistent about napping schedules. You need them to nap, so you can too. What is the worst thing that can happen if you put them down for a nap? I'm assuming their room is completely baby/toddler proofed. If they didn't nap, what trouble could they get into? I'd even consider a baby doorknob cover if they would just wander out of their room. For your health, you need them to have a dependable schedule. I realize that it would likely mean some CYO, which no mom *likes* to do, but since your health is being so badly affected. I had a friend break down from exhaustion, and end up admitted to the hospital. I don't want that happening to you :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Framework first. I would address the sleep issues first and get yourself some rest. have you looked at the Ferber method? http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc If that won't work for you, find something that will. I'll just be harsh and say this: if the main care taker is crumping, the ship is about to go down. And honestly, no one appreciates a care-taker that neglects themself. As much as it might seem sacrificial, it's just not good management. You are the home manager but you are at the mercy of the lack of schedule in your home. It is your responsibility to set and manage the schedule. The kids aren't going to do it. They are looking to you for guidance. You have got to get the rest you need. You and your dh need to sit down and come up with a plan to address this first. Once the night time routine is established, get a day time nap/rest schedule and stick with it religiously. You have got to get a workable framework for your home. Homeschooling is not a framework. Homeschooling is a function within the framework, not the framework. Trying to figure out how to homeschool effectively when the basics of running the home and managing the basics of life (sleeping) is not going to work. Once the sleeping/napping issues are addressed it will be easier to decide what to do with the littles- because then you'll KNOW when they need care outside of their cribs. The 4 yo is can certainly have "quiet time" in her room - with the expectation that she stay ther for a specified amount of time even if she doesn't want to sleep. During school, Joyce Swann (mom of 9- her kids graduated with Master's degrees at 16) always put her littles in a room next to the school room with toys and stuff that had gates. The kids did not have run of the house. When the older kids did school, they were in a conained area doing "play time." I fyour kids have a better routine and are better rested, they will be more manageable during school time as well. I would heavily enlist the aid of CD's - books on tape, CC memory work, etc. for the younger crew. I would look at co-ops and class days in the area for the high schooler. :grouphug:All the best to you. You have a LOT to manage and many demands. Don't forget, YOU are the Mom your kids need!!;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 I am very frustrated. My dc are in 10th, 6th, 4th, 1st, grades and i have a 4yo and ACTIVE 18 month old boy twins, and i'm at a loss for how to make it all work out... We do science history bible and art together, everything else is independent, other than the 1st grder, which everything is hands on. :grouphug: I have an 18 month old daughter, and my brother has 19 month old twin boys. 18/19 month olds are active... twins are more than double! I ended up breaking my oldest 4 apart and doing everything independently a few years ago, when I was pregnant with dd 18 months. You could break your children apart, or instigate 'crib time' during group studies. Have the twins in their crib(s) with the 4 yo playing nearby. You could even do your group studies nearby where you can keep an eye on the boys. So my nights are unpredictable, i already have sleeping issues but if one or both of them are up, i'm non-functional the next day. its already to the point where i have neurological issues enough to have actually gone to the ER once becuase i had signs of a brain damage or stroke, and it was chalked up to sleep deprivation and vertigo. Can you go to bed earlier, or sleep in requiring everyone to stay in their rooms? That's what I'm currently doing. Some days I can get up with dh, other days I'm dragging myself out of bed 3 hours later. :grouphug: It's a tough one. So anyway, at any given point in the day, i have myself and a child assigned to babies. they don't nap on a schedule and rarely nap concurrently, and my 6th grader goes to school for 2 classes in the afternoon, so planning our group school time is REALLY hard!! What i REALLY want to do is do group school first thing in the morning to get it done with, but the babies destroy the house and/or risk injury if i leave them to run the house. Most of the time i just give up, but we REALLY need to start being more productive... sigh... Anyone have an easy button???? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WistfulRidge Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 :grouphug: First, find a way to get some sleep. If mom is crashing then everything else will go up in flames. Trust me, I watched my mom (and consequently my family) do it very often until I hit my teens and could fill in as surrogate-mom when our mom became too tired to function. Is group learning working for you? Or can you make it more independent? A playpen (unless they've figured out how to climb out of it:glare:) could possibly contain the adorable terrors. Or baby gates. Lots of them. I don't know where you are financially but is it possible to find a local hs'd teen that could come over for a couple of hours a few days a week to entertain the twins while you did group stuff - history, science, whatever - with the others? I'd try to get them napping on a schedule, or bar that, find a way to contain the twins for an hour or two in a "quite time" type setting with special books/quiet toys during that time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted January 24, 2011 Share Posted January 24, 2011 Be back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heart'sjoy Posted January 25, 2011 Share Posted January 25, 2011 previous poster: Once the night time routine is established, get a day time nap/rest schedule and stick with it religiously. Weekends were the hardest. Other family didn't understand how tightly the schedule had to be kept, or I would pay for it the next two days. just agreeing here with previous poster: this order of priorities made the most difference for us. It didn't change all at once. Each routine change took about 6 weeks to get in place. Ordering the priorities doesn't mean you would work on the highest only. It just means that for us fixing momfunction (lack of night sleep and naps) paid the biggest dividends. Hugs: What's so right for one family doesn't mean it's right for mine. Given how unique each situation, is this board is wonderful for getting ideas to test.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamakven Posted January 25, 2011 Author Share Posted January 25, 2011 hmm... maybe i should buy the ferber book. I don't know. My one twin- Asher sleeps on his own well- we did a crying it out experiment a while back, he cried for about 5 minutes and fell asleep, then each night cried a little less, and now he rarely cries much at all, but elliott screamed bloody murder and continues to do so whenever i put him in his pack and play. (they sleep seperately due to the screaming and they beat each other up. So i'm a bit apprehensive about using the CIO method on Elliott. its just not worth traumatizing him. But i really appreciate all your feedback! the money situation is BAD, so unfortunately i can't hire outside help or i'd be ALL over that! :lol: But i'm thinking we'll do well to just extend our day right up until bedtime- Asher goes to bed between 730 adn 8 which would leave me time to finish up whatever i needed to with my 1st grader, who's taking the biggest hit right now, and for my 10th grader to get stuff done- he's taking the second biggest hit right now. and we'll just do group school when all the stars are aligned, so to speak! Anyhoo... has anyone tried time 4 learning http://www.time4learning.com/ i know it wouldn't be complete but maybe as a supplement? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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