Mynyel Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 So I am on a cooking and cleaning boycott in my house. I have been sick to death of the attitudes and lack of help. Tired of asking for things not to be done (like *my* kitchen utensils being used for teh dogs food or taking a dish outside because "it stinks" instead of washing it:001_huh:). So I have decided to act like everyone else. I don't want to do it so I won't. I feed myself and ds2. I am washing clothes for myself and ds2. I clean up things I use and things ds2 uses. I am doing nothing else. I can't even being to describe the condition of the house after only 24 hours :eek: Dh made the comment this morning that the house is a wreck... humph ya think? So I am cloistered in the computer closet (oh yes it is in the walk in closet, no other place to put it... nice and cozy though!). I am debating on whether or not to take the kids to their karate classes. I don't feel like I should have to considering the non help I get around the house. What says the hive about that? I am going to give it a few more days and if nothing is done still then they won't be able to have the neighbor kids over. Next step is not going grocery shopping. I'll just go out and get something for ds2 and I to eat. I have drawn the line in the house! We have a small house and no storage so it gets cluttered. No excuse for laziness i the house. So what you think about the karate question above and what say the hive in general about my plan? Any other suggestions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 How much will everyone care? My boys would just pick up dirty clothes and wear them again. They'd be happy to work their way through the pantry (toast, crackers, cereal). They'd start to object when the milk ran out, but they would just move on to other things. I would get distressed and crack long before my boys would. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I would like to do the same thing sometimes, but I'd crack before they would. I can't stand living in the pig-sty. If you don't feel like taking them to karate, don't. I don't know if it will help them appreciate you more or not, but I wouldn't feel guilty about them missing one karate lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillary in KS Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :001_huh: Um. Your children are 13, 8, and 2? If they were all older teens, then - maybe. When my kids are/were those ages I work with them. Coach them. Train them. Not just expect them to do it. This is the time for intensive interaction and guidance on your part, not passive-aggressive theatrics. Take time off of school for a couple of days and have a responsibility "boot camp." Walk them through their day. Demonstrate and practice your expectations. *Teach* them the behaviors you want to see. Spend as much time as you can working on these behaviors; rewarding the positive steps and practicing their weak areas. Take breaks in the training for fun activities (bake cookies...then clean up! Play a board game....then clean it up!) They need you to teach them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessaMae Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I can understand how frustrated you might be. But I agree with pp that I would crack before my kids would. A friend of mine does something called the Basic and Deluxe Plans in her house. If her kids are being respectful, doing their chores, generally meeting whatever expectations she has set for them - (remembering that they are children, of course) - then they are on the Deluxe Plan. That means they get to have their toys, clothes, and go to activities and playdates. If they are not meeting the clear expectations set out for them, then they go on the Basic Plan. This means Mom and Dad meet their basic needs (food, one set of clothes per day (that Mom chooses), a place to sleep, and LOVE) but they do not get their toys, TV, computer time, playdates, or activities. Not sure if that would help in your case, but maybe if they had less things (toys, friends, tv) distracting them from their chores, they would help out more? (or more incentive, I should say) :) Hope things get better - sounds like you might need to get away for a day yourself, if at all possible :) A break might do everyone good :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 :001_huh: Um. Your children are 13, 8, and 2? If they were all older teens, then - maybe. When my kids are/were those ages I work with them. Coach them. Train them. Not just expect them to do it. This is the time for intensive interaction and guidance on your part, not passive-aggressive theatrics. Take time off of school for a couple of days and have a responsibility "boot camp." Walk them through their day. Demonstrate and practice your expectations. *Teach* them the behaviors you want to see. Spend as much time as you can working on these behaviors; rewarding the positive steps and practicing their weak areas. Take breaks in the training for fun activities (bake cookies...then clean up! Play a board game....then clean it up!) They need you to teach them. I sort of agree with Hilary. I doubt they will care all that much. You still need to stand over them so to speak and crack the whip. They do not need to be moving on to more fun things till their responsibilities are done. We do 30 minute cleaning here. I and my 3 older kids clean non stop for 30 minutes each day. It is amazing how much gets done when we are all working non stop in just a short amount of time. I would not take them to Karate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnitaMcC Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 (edited) You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did you forewarn Dh???? LOL. I don't think your older two are too young to do this. I doubt you will need to go on strike for more than 4-5 days. I have done these sort of strikes... even refusing to go grocery shopping. It helps for a bit but I find that I have to remind them of the strikes or do a strike every once in awhile to kick them in gear again. If nothing else... it does help improve their doing things more timely and less grumbling when I ask them to do things. I am sort of on a permanent strike. I do things when I want to do things. If I don't want to cook dinner... I don't. If I don't want to empty the dishwasher or do laundry.. I don't. But when I do housework... anything that is in my way is fair game for being tossed out into the back yard into the snow-LOL. I refuse to put their stuff away... but I will pick it up so I can get my work done. I can't stand a disgusting house... so I have to do the cleaning part every now and then. But I won't go out of my way to do anything for them if I am on strike. Right now my younger two boys are learning a lesson about taking their dirty laundry to the basement... if they want me to wash their clothes. So far... I guess they haven't ran out of clean clothes because their bedroom floor is still covered in dirty clothes. I probably would take them to karate class though. Only because it costs money that I am paying whether they are there or not. But then again, missing a class or two won't really be a great loss... Edited January 14, 2011 by AnitaMcC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I wouldn't take them to karate. I'd make them help me clean the house. I mean, there's just too much work to do to actually leave the house for any kind of fun activity. :tongue_smilie: And bedtime should definitely be very early. If they're having so much trouble cleaning up after themselves and not listening to you, their bodies must be extremely tired. I'd sit down with your DH though and discuss expectations from each of you towards one another. I'm not sure I'd spring such a plan on my DH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 Right now my younger two boys are learning a lesson about taking their dirty laundry to the basement... if they want me to wash their clothes. So far... I guess they haven't ran out of clean clothes because their bedroom floor is still covered in dirty clothes. But aren't you creating more work for yourself? If they go through everything and then bring it downstairs, you'll have a mess of washing to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 A friend of mine has been doing this with her two kids, age 11 and 13. She went on total strike. And yes, it did work. If the situation is that bad, I would not take them to activities- but I would give them a warning with plenty of notice so they would get a chance to show me that they mean to change their ways (by putting in some hard time at household work)... that would prompt me to change my mind. If you go this way, you need to go all the way. Cereal for dinner gets old after a week or two ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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