Homeschooling Gifted Kids

[HollyVanH]

Hi Everyone,

 

I've homeschooled (using TWTM ) my gifted daughter (who is now 11) from the start and have written a detailed post about lessons I've learned. I hope you find it helpful: http://www.knittedthoughts.com/2010/12/homeschooling-gifted-child.html

 

I'd love any feedback or info about your own experiences in this area.

Thanks,

Holly

Edited December 17, 2010 by HollyVanH

[Truscifi]

You might want to cross post on the Accelerated Learner board as well. :)

[HollyVanH]

Thanks for the suggestion Truscifi -- I did so :)

[....]

Oh...my...goodness. I read your blog. The paragraph where you talk about the sensory issues with clothing touching their skin completely describe my 5 yro. What the heck is that?? Does anyone know? She's actually in our living room right now with no shirt on. :confused: Before we moved, I had a teacher from the school district come to our house and for a "developmental visit". She couldn't figure it out, either. Why does the fabric bother their skin? :willy_nilly: We're overdue for a visit to the pediatrician. I think I need to ask about this...:glare:

[LisaKinVA]

Oh...my...goodness. I read your blog. The paragraph where you talk about the sensory issues with clothing touching their skin completely describe my 5 yro. What the heck is that?? Does anyone know? She's actually in our living room right now with no shirt on. :confused: Before we moved, I had a teacher from the school district come to our house and for a "developmental visit". She couldn't figure it out, either. Why does the fabric bother their skin? :willy_nilly: We're overdue for a visit to the pediatrician. I think I need to ask about this...:glare:

 

Sometimes, it's not the clothes, it's the tags. For my dd, she could not stand blue jeans, skorts (knit ones w/o tags were fine), but the fabric drove her to tears. Give her the Lands-End style knit dress any day. It could also be particular types of fabric sensitivity (for example, my dad can't wear wool anywhere on his body), or it could be the cut -- certain clothing "shapes" I can't wait to get off.

 

I'm an adult, and I hate underwire bras. HATE them. I would so give up my C/D cup for a nice size A/B... and not have to worry about the underwires.

[HollyVanH]

Hi Starrbuck12,

 

This has been such a tough issue for us. There's so much she finds uncomfortable. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but somehow her mind is unable to "block" the sensations most rarely think about when it comes to clothes. It definitely makes things difficult. We search and search and every once in awhile she finds a shirt or skirt she can tolerate and we end up buying it in 5 different colors. That's basically how we've coped.

[HollyVanH]

I agree Lisa -- Tags are a real challenge. I soooooo appreciate tagless clothes because even when we cut tags off, the little bit left, is STILL a problem. And I'm totally with you on the underwire! :)

[....]

There's so much she finds uncomfortable. I'm not exactly sure how it works, but somehow her mind is unable to "block" the sensations most rarely think about when it comes to clothes.

 

 

Yeah, that's exactly how the early childhood teacher who came to our house explained it. Hmmmm...:glare: I wonder if they know what causes it.?

[bluemongoose]

Thanks for writing this! My DD will be 6 this month. We are dealing with the clothing sensitivity (seat belts are a serious issue) and also sound sensitivities. It is so hard!

 

Also, I wish people were not intimidated by her (she is very outward and it is very obvious that she is ahead of her peers) and that I had someone to talk to IRL that didnt think I was bragging.

[HollyVanH]

Thanks Christina -- I'll be checking out "The Out of Sync Child" myself! :)

[HollyVanH]

Hi Bluemongoose -- You're reminding me of the sound sensitivities... those are huge for us too. My daughter won't even go into movie theaters. The sound makes it too overwhelming for her.

[joannqn]

It can also be detergent residue in clothing. I have clothing sensitivities and usually only wear jeans (not too tight), cotton knit short sleeve tops, and tennis shoes.

 

For those tags, try using a seam ripper. Tags are often sewn on with a separate line of stitching than the hem and can be seam ripped without messing with the integrity of the piece of clothing. If it isn't separate, you can still seam rip to get the whole tag out and then restitch the small section of hem.

[mktkcb]

Hi Holly!! You know me best as Ben's mom LOL! I think our kids found a little kindred spirit in each other for good reason :o). I could have written that post you wrote, almost. Sorta scary. Your blog is wonderful....it's fun to see what Charlotte & Gracie are up to down at Colburn. I am right there with you on not always knowing what to say to others, or just not really being able to say much. Ben's very asynchronous, so very gifted musically & intellectually, but otoh, not incredibly mature, & has sensory issues in assorted areas. Sensitivities to clothes, food, air temperature, loud noise (unless he's the one making it LOL), changes of any kind, etc. etc. Very much a perfectionist, & hates to be wrong. Quick tempered. Self control is not his forte (although he's getting better, and we've worked on it his whole life). Very sensitive to teasing & has been a bully target more than once. Raising kids like this is not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. My oldest dd was similarly gifted with sensory issues (although not musically, like Ben), so I'm sort of on round 2. He's a little quirkier than she was, though. I also recommend the book Out of Sync Child. I read it when Ben was around 11, having resisted reading it for quite awhile. Not having read it, I chalked some of his quirks up to sensory issues, but there were others that baffled me that I didn't think fit the sensory profile at all. Once I read it, the light bulb came on & I saw how all of it "fit", so to speak. It has been very useful for understanding him better & helping him understand himself better. I'm so (oh so very very) thankful for all the wonderful people we have found over the years who have been willing to work with his quirks, celebrate his uniqueness, and challenge him appropriately. He's had wonderful choir directors at church, a fantastic piano teacher (We did kindermusik till he was almost 8 because of maturity level), and of course the wonderful people at escape have been so patient & encouraging with his "out there" personality. He's just a "square peg" kid, who will be navigating a "round hole" world his whole life, & it's just hard some days. There are literally days I feel like giftedness is a curse, and couldn't I just have one of those average kids, puleeeese????? Not most of the time, tho ;o). I digress. I'll say hi next time I see you at ESCAPE.

Kayleen

[AnitaMcC]

Oh...my...goodness. I read your blog. The paragraph where you talk about the sensory issues with clothing touching their skin completely describe my 5 yro. What the heck is that?? Does anyone know? She's actually in our living room right now with no shirt on. :confused: Before we moved, I had a teacher from the school district come to our house and for a "developmental visit". She couldn't figure it out, either. Why does the fabric bother their skin? :willy_nilly: We're overdue for a visit to the pediatrician. I think I need to ask about this...:glare:

 

My Ds#1 has sensory integration disorder along with Asperger Syndrome and ADD.

 

He still can't stand some materials touching his body. Actually he can't stand to be touched at all. But at the same time he has to be nearly completely covered as he can't stand the feel of air blowing on his body. He can only wear cotton materials without discomfort.

 

He also has other sensory issues to do with taste, hearing, vision, and body temp (his body does not regulate temperature very well... he can get overheated fast even in winter),

[bluemongoose]

Hi Bluemongoose -- You're reminding me of the sound sensitivities... those are huge for us too. My daughter won't even go into movie theaters. The sound makes it too overwhelming for her.

 

We also have problems with the movie theater. She is doing better ie. not resorting to tears with her hands over her ears, but she still asks me repeatedly if they could please turn it down. We only go to the theater once every 2 years or so. With the $$ it costs, and how much trouble she has, it is just not worth it!

 

Once when we had our house alarm fixed (I had warned her ahead of time) the repair man set off the alarm just briefly to make sure it was working. I went looking for DD because I knew it would be a problem for her. I found her in the corner of her closet, behind her dresses, in the fetal positions shaking with sobs! This was the first time I understood how sensitive to noise she was.

[bluemongoose]

It can also be detergent residue in clothing. I have clothing sensitivities and usually only wear jeans (not too tight), cotton knit short sleeve tops, and tennis shoes.

 

For those tags, try using a seam ripper. Tags are often sewn on with a separate line of stitching than the hem and can be seam ripped without messing with the integrity of the piece of clothing. If it isn't separate, you can still seam rip to get the whole tag out and then restitch the small section of hem.

 

 

I make sure with the detergent that it is all out as she already has eczema issues.:(

 

I wish the seam ripper could solve everything! Unfortunately, she even has issues with the tagless outfits when the "tag" letters start to peel off. Even if it is a microscopic amount of peeling, it is a problem. The other issue is that she also likes to wear things that are oversized, but she is a twig! She is very tall but not even 40lbs. The clothes that fit her length are already big around for her, but with her sensitivity, she wants the clothing even bigger. I have pics of her as a toddler with her dress falling off as she is running around because the neck hole was wider than her shoulders:lol:.

[HollyVanH]

Thanks Joann -- All good ideas. I never thought of just ripping the whole thing out and re-stitching (I guess the lazy part of my brain didn't want to go there). But, it would definitely be worth it.

[bluemongoose]

I am also wondering about my DS 4yo. When he learned to walk he would scream if the flooring changed. Example, he would be fine in the house, but when we stepped out onto the pavement porch, he would freak out! Then he would grow accustomed to the pavement and be ok until we stepped out on the lawn. Again he would freak! And the same would happen if we walked from the lawn to the dirt.

 

Now he doesnt do that anymore, but he still must touch EVERYTHING! He touches walls, trim, tile shapes etc for a long time. He has issues with food because it "feels funny". He finds huge satisfaction in tearing paper. He also likes to work with his hands, taking things apart, working screws etc. He is highly social, and can be a complete clown. He loves to sing and dance and is really good at feeling a beat. He is also highly sensitive and I am now seeing that he feels dumb around his older sis. I know that he is beginning to read on his own, can do CVC words, but if you "catch" him doing something he says he cant. That only sissy can. I feel really bad that he might feel insignificant (intellectually) compared to his sis because she is so out there. I feel that he is likely gifted as well, more with numbers and possibly musically, but that he is holding himself back because he feels he cannot compete with big sis.

 

Do any of you deal with this?

[HollyVanH]

KAYLEEN!!! Small world :) Yes, it sounds like our two offspring get along well for very good reason! And your comment about loud noises is right on target. She can't stand them in many situations, but is remarkably talented at making them herself. And your description sounds like a litany of what we've gone through - "Very much a perfectionist, & hates to be wrong. Quick tempered. Self control is not his [OR HER] forte." Oh I bet we could chat for hours :)

[HollyVanH]

Bluemongoose -- Our photo albums probably look a lot alike. For the longest time, all dd could wear were the Lands End tank dresses of softest cotton that basically touch the body only at the shoulders and even those had to be 3-4 sizes too big. She was also just a twig at the time and swam in them, but at least she was dressed. There were plenty of days I was more than happy to settle for just that.

[HollyVanH]

Anita, I have a niece with Asperger's who is also very sensitive to temperature and touch and gets easily overwhelmed in many situations. My sister explained it to me like this... imagine walking into a party and instead of noticing a few things, like nice decor, and oh there's a few people I know, etc., every single detail in the room jumps out at you. You notice EVERYTHING all at once and with intensity. Her world is like that all the time -- no wonder these kids are overwhelmed.

[HollyVanH]

Bluemongoose, I have a younger daughter too who I often worry gets lost in the fray with all the fuss over her older sis. My younger one is very smart too, but in such a quieter way. She's so much more like me and therefore much easier for me to handle. She's a people pleaser, like I was and I worry when I see her take on the peacemaker role between my older daughter and my husband (both are intense). My older DD is definitely the squeakier wheel and I'm constantly trying to make sure the younger one gets her fair share of attention -- not that that's ever really possible. My problem most of the time is that although they often get along quite well (they're upstairs pretending to be fairies at the moment), older dd resents that her little sister doesn't get in nearly as much trouble as her younger, far less intense sis. The sibling rivalry thing is hard enough, but this definitely adds to the difficulty.

[bluemongoose]

Bluemongoose, I have a younger daughter too who I often worry gets lost in the fray with all the fuss over her older sis. My younger one is very smart too, but in such a quieter way. She's so much more like me and therefore much easier for me to handle. She's a people pleaser, like I was and I worry when I see her take on the peacemaker role between my older daughter and my husband (both are intense).

 

Yes this! My DH (also gifted-it is where they get it from:tongue_smilie:) is very intense as is DD! But DS is much more easy going like myself. I do feel like he gets lost in the shuffle...but more concerning is that he is acting like he doesnt need to even try to do something because he thinks he wont be able to live up to his sisters ability to do it. And like I said...I believe he is also gifted, just not obviously so because he wont let people in. KWIM? I dont ever want him to feel like he is not as intelligent or good enough. AH! It is so hard to find balance when things are intense and more magnified when dealing with gifted kids!

[HollyVanH]

Bluemongoose -- Absolutely -- I have the same struggle with my littler one not trying, not wanting to compete, I guess. I've had some luck helping her find HER own niche... Something she enjoys that her older sis doesn't do at all. She gains confidence in these areas, bit by bit. For example, she is rather good in math and I've skipped her ahead a year in this because she does so well. She also loves gymnastics and her sister doesn't do that. Why? the leotards, of course -- all too tight and scratchy :)

[mktkcb]

I bet we could :o). I've definitely dealt with the clothing issue a LOT between my oldest and Ben. Both of them would rip out tags on their own (making holes, of course). Oldest dd hated shoes, socks, seams of any kind, tags, the works. She gradually improved with age, but she still gets ribbed at church a bit over the shoe issue :o). Once church was over, she would rip those shoes off and go racing around barefoot. She still has friends tease her (at age 19 ha!)saying "Hey look! you're wearing shoes!". Shoes were not my hill to die on. She wore them when absolutely necessary, and didn't when they weren't. Ben's gotten much better on clothes in just the last 2 years or so. He used to only want to wear sweatpants. frequently with no underwear :eek:. sigh. he's better with tags now, and will wear jeans. So there is hope. Both oldest and Ben were very orally fixated & put EVERYTHING in the mouth for ev er. legos, coins, paper, plastic, marbles, you name it. When Ben was little he would frequently chew on the necks of his shirts, ending up with a huge wet ring around the top of his shirts. They never choked on anything, though. Ben's improved on this in the last couple year also, though he still will frequently chew on paper. Sugarless gum is a staple food in our house. Still. I'll never forget his first lead rehearsal for the last Peter Pan (he was about 10 then).....Elizabeth came up to me and said "Did you know that Ben had coins in his mouth during rehearsal?" Sigh. After that, I did mouth and pocket checks before he went in the door LOL! ....I could go on, but I won't. There is definitely hope for improvement with age, though.

[bluemongoose]

Ohhh! My DD has the oral thing too! She always has nearly her whole hand in her mouth. When she doesnt, she is picking her lips or sucking on the bottom hem of her shirt or the cuffs of her sleeves. I didnt even think about this being something to do with the sensitivity things!:001_unsure:

[mktkcb]

ayup! all related. It's a sensory seeking thing. Often kids with spd will be sensory avoidant in some areas, and sensory seeking in others. It can be a mixed bag.

[mktkcb]

I had to do this as well. My poor middle dd got sandwiched between 2 incredibly intense, hyper, what-you-see-is-what-you-get, fidgety, "out there" siblings. She's just totally different. Much less hyper, good with her hands, socially adept, terrible at math (both the others are math whizzes, but struggle with fine motor). Poor kid. When she was little it just took SO much energy to deal with her sister, I'm sure she got the shaft a bit. Fortunately they do get along pretty well. Then Ben came along, and he was very high maintenance also. Not to mention very obviously musically gifted from early on. I tried to get her to learn piano, but she wanted nothing to do with it because Ben was good at that. She actually would be very good at it if she wanted to pursue it. She's finally come into her own in the last 3 years, confident of who she is and what she is good at. She is incredibly musical in her own right. Started violin at age 13 and plays phenomenally well for only having taken for 4 years (she placed into the highest level youth symphony this year, but stayed in intermediate because she'd have to give up theater). She paints, makes jewelry, and sings beautifully (not as well as Charlotte, though ;). She got sucked into theater after Ben started doing it, and now loves it & is getting leads. I'm so proud of her...she's a senior this year. For awhile, though, she definitely struggled, feeling like she couldn't compete academically with her sister, or musically, with her younger brother.

[Donna]

Sometimes, it's not the clothes, it's the tags. For my dd, she could not stand blue jeans, skorts (knit ones w/o tags were fine), but the fabric drove her to tears. Give her the Lands-End style knit dress any day. It could also be particular types of fabric sensitivity (for example, my dad can't wear wool anywhere on his body), or it could be the cut -- certain clothing "shapes" I can't wait to get off.

 

I'm an adult, and I hate underwire bras. HATE them. I would so give up my C/D cup for a nice size A/B... and not have to worry about the underwires.

 

For my dd it is tags (she uses a seamripper with skill now), certain fabrics (can't be itchy, scratchy, rough), turtlenecks, 3/4 length sleeves, stockings, socks with toes (I am still trying to get rid of the ankle socks this winter because they are all she wants to wear), no designs sewn on with stitching on the inside of the shirt though now she will wear an undershirt, no coats on in the car and many arguments about putting one on to get out of the car, layers are difficult, won't wear pajamas to bed because doesn't like the way they bunch up under the covers, etc...

 

When she was a baby this all went along with gagging on every new food taste and texture, not sitting in grass or sand to play, finger painting with a brush only, holding bowels so diaper was never dirty (what a mess that turned into), keeping a rag to wipe herself while she ate, etc...

[....]

When she doesnt, she is picking her lips or sucking on the bottom hem of her shirt or the cuffs of her sleeves. I didnt even think about this being something to do with the sensitivity things!:001_unsure:

 

Oh, no. This is linked to the sensory thing, too??? 5 yro does this also (along with a slew of other things). OK, I'm pretty convinced it's possible that Kid #3 has sensory issues.

 

Now what? :confused: Would anyone be willing to hear a description of this kid? Maybe I need to read a book on this...

 

Arrrgh...:svengo:

[Sahamamama]

I make sure with the detergent that it is all out as she already has eczema issues.:(

 

I wish the seam ripper could solve everything! Unfortunately, she even has issues with the tagless outfits when the "tag" letters start to peel off. Even if it is a microscopic amount of peeling, it is a problem. The other issue is that she also likes to wear things that are oversized, but she is a twig! She is very tall but not even 40lbs. The clothes that fit her length are already big around for her, but with her sensitivity, she wants the clothing even bigger. I have pics of her as a toddler with her dress falling off as she is running around because the neck hole was wider than her shoulders:lol:.

 

With my nephew (15 yo) we have found that home-sewn clothes in light cottons are the best for his sensitive skin (he has eczema terribly). He really likes lounge-style (pajama?) pants with a drawstring, along with tagless cotton t-shirts. HTH.

[texasmama]

I've only skimmed this thread, but I second the rec of "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Kranowitz. Heard her at a professional conference last year, which was fabulous.

 

I have a child with SPD who is affected in all areas. His SPD affects his learning. He received several years of OT as a 3-6 yo. He is currently receiving OT to address the SPD (Using the curriculum "Ready Bodies, Learning Minds") with noticeable results. He is a mess if he misses several weeks of OT, which happened recently. Schoolwork suffered, he became motorically agitated and emotionally fragile. OT is research-backed as a treatment for SPD, and learning outcomes are improved with good OT.

 

(Don't recall if OT has been discussed in this thread, but I wanted to give my experience.)

[HollyVanH]

Kayleen - Your daughter is very talented and very sweet. The girls really like her. I've been so happy that my littler one got a role as lead lost boy this time for Peter Pan. It gives her a bit of limelight for once. It's so hard to balance their needs because they're so very different. I keep trying though -- it's so important!

[Trish]

Hi Everyone,

 

I've homeschooled (using TWTM ) my gifted daughter (who is now 11) from the start and have written a detailed post about lessons I've learned. I hope you find it helpful: http://www.knittedthoughts.com/2010/12/homeschooling-gifted-child.html

 

I'd love any feedback or info about your own experiences in this area.

Thanks,

Holly

 

Thanks for posting this. I can relate to a lot of what you said. (seem to have similar tactile issues, too!) I particularly like how you said certain things that seemed to be discipline problems really weren't that at all. We've had tactile issues, cat issues, existential angst issues, bored-with-what-we're-doing issues, emotional explosions that interrupt the day so badly we have to start over tomorrow. Most days aren't like that, but when these things crop up it would probably be helpful to look at them differently. If there are any more lessons that occur to you please mention them!

[bluemongoose]

Thanks so much for starting this thread! I am really learning from it, and enjoying hearing that I am not alone!

 

DH doesnt like to talk about this kind of stuff...he likes to refer to himself as "normal":D and hates the term gifted. He always tried to fit in, but couldnt and doesnt want that for his kids. Ummmm....ya passed on the genes, it is too late now!:lol:

[HollyVanH]

Starrbuck12 -- definitely describe -- the rest of us have :)

[HollyVanH]

Trish -- you hit a chord with "emotional explosions that interrupt the day" -- we have fewer now that she's older, but boy oh boy, they can definitely interrupt a day! --and our existential angst reared its head again just last night. We were up at midnight with her afraid of driving to Grandma's in the pounding rain we're experiencing here. She's sure we'll all die and then she'll never be with me again and on and on --they're serious concerns and we discussed them, but I had to really help her learn to calm herself. We worked on deep breaths and focus until she was finally able to sleep.

[HollyVanH]

Texasmama -- I'd love to hear more about how the OT works. We've tried biofeedback therapy to try to help my daughter learn to calm herself and that did help a bit. I'm just curious what sorts of activities go on in OT that help with the SPD.

[texasmama]

Texasmama -- I'd love to hear more about how the OT works. We've tried biofeedback therapy to try to help my daughter learn to calm herself and that did help a bit. I'm just curious what sorts of activities go on in OT that help with the SPD.

 

Here is a link to some kids at a school doing the Ready bodies, learning minds curriculum activities.

 

 

http://www.schooltube.com/video/3332688f220c4f159532/A-Day-in-Ready-Bodies

 

The goal is to help to build neurological links by combining several different activities, such as the second boy, who is holding up his feet (hard to see this) while pushing a ball back and forth. This pose is called "Superman" and is harder than it looks. :tongue_smilie: I am not an OT so am probably not describing it very well at all, but it helps to strengthen the parts of the brain that are weak. We have a wonderful OT who works with my son (and has for years), and she is often doing things like having him spin on a spinning board, then jump on a mini trampoline immediately afterward. Also, he must perform different activities all at once, such as swinging on his belly while picking up tiny army men and then dropping them in a bucket...or rolling on a large ball while catching a ball. We are working at home on an exercise which involves putting out the right foot forward and the left foot back. At the same time, you put the left hand forward and the right hand back. Then you switch both quickly and repeatedly. Again, harder than it sounds. The whole family go in on this one.:D

[....]

Starrbuck12 -- definitely describe -- the rest of us have :)

 

So, besides the sucking on the shirt, clothing bothering her skin, walking around all day with no shirt on, won't wear socks because she can "feel" them, etc...

 

My husband thought she had severe hearing problems and we took her to get her hearing checked. She does not answer when someone calls her name. (This was a big complaint from the teachers at her preschool, also.) Still, if you call her name, she won't answer you. 9 out of 10 times, I ask her a question and it seems like she's completely ignoring me. If you get right into her face and ask her, she'll answer...

 

Really, really intense...will just scream when something is exciting... Actually, screams a lot throughout the day. Screams when something "happens". Always jumping around, jumping off the back of the couch, etc... Only seems to have one volume. :glare:

 

Stores are extremely difficult to get through with her... I think I had posted a thread about this a couple of years ago and some parents said that lights/noise in Wal-Marts and grocery stores can really cause some little kids to freak out. :glare:

 

Lots of fantasy-type stuff...she's got a "friend" called Baby Cow that goes with her everywhere she goes (altho this might just be her age).

 

That's some of it. The not-responding-to-her-name has really, really bothered me for a long time. None of my other kids are like this. Any opinions??

[HollyVanH]

Texasmama -- It reminds me a bit of several of the exercises we did for Vision Therapy. My daughter's right eye is weaker than her left and she never learned to focus them together. We did Vision Therapy for a year with really good results. Some of what we did involved the balance board, mini-trampolines, big balls/little balls, etc. They all required mental and visual focus and it definitely helped with several of the sensory issues.

Edited December 19, 2010 by HollyVanH

[HollyVanH]

Starrbuck12 - My daughter was also very easily overwhelmed in stores and still is very uncomfortable in crowds. We rarely go to malls and try to avoid crowds as much as possible. Amusement parks and such, we approach very slowly. It takes her a very long time to try new rides. One year we had passes to Disneyland and there were only about 5 rides we could take her on. Talk about sensory overload. She's slowly gotten better, but it's like movie theaters -- she just would really prefer not to. The nice thing about her being older now is that she "usually" can express those preferences now without screaming about them. She's still "louder" than your average kid though, in general -- very excitable.

[....]

Starrbuck12 - My daughter was also very easily overwhelmed in stores and still is very uncomfortable in crowds. We rarely go to malls and try to avoid crowds as much as possible. Amusement parks and such, we approach very slowly. It takes her a very long time to try new rides. One year we had passes to Disneyland and there were only about 5 rides we could take her on. Talk about sensory overload. She's slowly gotten better, but it's like movie theaters -- she just would really prefer not to. The nice thing about her being older now is that she "usually" can express those preferences now without screaming about them. She's still "louder" than your average kid though, in general -- very excitable.

 

Sorry to take over your thread. I did a bunch of reading this weekend about SPD and the hyposensitivity describes my daughter's behaviors. She's going to the pediatrician in January and I'm going to ask about it. I've been wondering about this for a couple of years. Thanks. You all are always very knowledgeable.

[HollyVanH]

Thanks Trish -- glad you found the post useful :)

[mktkcb]

Interesting....my oldest dd (19.5) is remarkably like this. Very strong willed, and very principled. She is my Spock-child LOL! Meaning she is *extremely* black and white, logical, analytical. I mean extremely. And intense. She grew herself out of many of her SPD traits. And hyperactive (or was anyway). By about age 14, she had pretty much channeled all of that into being very focused, and a real go getter. Very comfortable in her own skin, and very ready to do things that were hard for her, because she knew it would be good for her. She followed her brother and sister into the wonderful world of theater, not because she is "theater material", but because she knew it would help her get over her fear of performing. And she's hooked now, of course, although she has NO desire for leads of any sort (completely unlike my other 2 children, btw). Peter Pan will be her last play...sniff...but she'll be the first to say how much confidence it has given her, and how much she has learned from doing it. She is at com. college right now, and hopefully will be able to transfer to a state school as an engineering major next year (lets just say she's *extremely* suited for engineering, although she loves working with kids also...go figure). I love the attitude she has about tackling challenges. Wish my youngest had some of it....sigh....but maybe he'll get there, too. You just never know :o). I thought I was gonna kill myself or her from birth to age 12, I'll tell ya.

[HollyVanH]

Kayleen -- you give me hope for the future :) I've always assumed these traits that are so difficult when it comes to parenting will be amazing for these kids as adults!

[AnitaMcC]

Anita, I have a niece with Asperger's who is also very sensitive to temperature and touch and gets easily overwhelmed in many situations. My sister explained it to me like this... imagine walking into a party and instead of noticing a few things, like nice decor, and oh there's a few people I know, etc., every single detail in the room jumps out at you. You notice EVERYTHING all at once and with intensity. Her world is like that all the time -- no wonder these kids are overwhelmed.

 

 

Yes... that is how it is for my Ds. Thankfully he has learned to cope for the most part. But every now and then he can't (when he gets sick or stressed he just can't handle sensory stuff as much). He has his own bedroom and goes there when he needs a break.

 

Thankfully our family accepts him for him. When we go to NY to visit family they make sure that Ds has somewhere to go for his own space.

[Embassy]

Trish -- you hit a chord with "emotional explosions that interrupt the day" -- we have fewer now that she's older, but boy oh boy, they can definitely interrupt a day! --and our existential angst reared its head again just last night. We were up at midnight with her afraid of driving to Grandma's in the pounding rain we're experiencing here. She's sure we'll all die and then she'll never be with me again and on and on --they're serious concerns and we discussed them, but I had to really help her learn to calm herself. We worked on deep breaths and focus until she was finally able to sleep.

 

Have you been to my house? Sounds like it :)

[HollyVanH]

Wehomeschool - This thread has really made me feel so much better. I've been amazed at how many Moms deal with this on a daily basis. You don't meet many in your typical "Mom" group or "homeschool" group, so this is really an eye-opener for me and I so appreciate all of you wonderful Moms sharing your experiences with me.

[mktkcb]

Well, lets just say I pray a lot..... :o). With Kendra, by about age 13/14 I was pretty confident she could handle herself in just about any situation (keep her cool, act appropriately, not pick her nose....etc.). I'm just not there with Ben yet. I remember, with her, that at some point I just felt this huge weight lift from me....like "Ok, I don't have to worry about her any more"..not that I don't *really* worry anymore, but just from a behavioral standpoint. It was a huge relief when she got to that point. With Ben, I'm hoping he *ever* gets to that point LOL! He's much better than he used to be, but it's definitely a process that takes lots of work, discipline, vigilance, creativity, and just plain WORK from me. Which can be very tiring some days. I'm so thankful I've been able to homeschool him, though. Someone would have wanted to medicate him long ago :o). I love my sweet boy so much. He still hugs and kisses me in public....if he were your average "cool" kid, this would never happen. He's up down and all around, but he has a tender heart, and I'm so thankful for that.