swellmomma Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 Background: I have been separated for 9.5 years now. For the first 6 years of that my ex never gave the kids cards/gifts etc for b-days and xmas. Heck he rarely paid child support. A couple christmas's ago he signed over custody to me and started paying support and giving the kids gifts. This coincides with when he and his girlfriend moved in together. The support and gifts is the only real contact he has with the kids, last year they saw him for a total of 30 minutes. My former SIL passed away recently. I had been in contact with my ex in the weeks leading up to her death and had opened my doors and those of my family etc to help out his side in anyway we could. No one took us up on the offer but it was there before and repeated after she passed. I do not know if the call I got from him was spurred by that or not but I suspect it was. Skip forward to this am. My ex calls me to let me know what he bought for the kids for xmas. No big deal he tells me in advance each time so I know what to expect and not buy the same thing(like I ever have the $$ to buy what he buys anyway). What is a HUGE deal is then he proceeds to ask what major store I shop at for groceries and other items for the kids. I tell him Wal-Mart. I do 90% of my shopping there as that is the closest store to my tiny town. I ask him way he wants to know. Apparently he and his girlfriend are buying me a gift card to which ever store I told them. In Addition to that he tell me they bought gifts for my youngest 2 children as well even though they are not his kids. He has never ever ever done anything like that before. These are not cheap gifts either. for ds12 he bought an itouch 4th generation. He did know enough not to buy the iphone because I would not let ds have it. he is getting dd11 a new violin because she needs one. He bought ds7 a 19" RCA television and is buying dd3 a princess barbie set that has 8 dolls in it. He says they feel bad always buying electronics for the older kids while the younger 2 don't get any. IT wis so thoughtful of them because this is actually something that has been upsetting my ds7 lately. He has made comments that he wished he had a dad to buy him gifts (of course me explaining that the purpose of a dad is not just for buying gifts, that doesn't make him feel better when the olders have new XBOXes, psp's and ds's) kwim. I don't know what brought this on, whether it is tied into what happened with my sil, whether all of that showed them I was not the hateful *bleep* they have considered me for years, or what. I am very impressed that they thought of my other kids in addition to the olders. AND I am shocked that they would think to get me a gift card to help me out. I have struggled for years to make sure my kids never go without, and for much of that time with no help from him, so for him to give something over and above the child support to help us out amazes me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 WOW! I am glad that you have reached that point in your relationship. I have thought of you often - how is your new home working out now that winter is approaching? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 That is wonderful - esp. for the kids.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 :hurray: Glad things are better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 It's a great thing for change to happen sometimes! Glad he's had a turn of heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted November 14, 2010 Author Share Posted November 14, 2010 WOW! I am glad that you have reached that point in your relationship. I have thought of you often - how is your new home working out now that winter is approaching? Most of the idiots in town leave us alone now that the codler weather is here. WHen it is nice out they tend to be at work/school still. THe house itself is working pretty well. We are learning jsut how drafty a 1939 house can be and are currently sealing gaps, and putting weather stripping etc in but otherwise we are adjesting to making sure we have socks/slippers on and a sweater handy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mo2 Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 How wonderful. I'm also impressed by the maturity and thoughtfulness of the girlfriend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted November 14, 2010 Share Posted November 14, 2010 LOVE when stuff like that happens! My ex just wrote a check for his 4 months of arrears AND sent in his paperwork for garnishing, so payments should keep up. I have no idea what prompted it, and I'm not even sure I want to know, but I'm doing a happy dance! Enjoy the moment! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted November 14, 2010 Author Share Posted November 14, 2010 How wonderful. I'm also impressed by the maturity and thoughtfulness of the girlfriend. I adore her. She has been awesome getting him to step up and take care of his kids. She also trie very hard to find me resources to help the kids (she is a speech therapist). I have told him he got very lucky finding her and he better not mess it up, I think if she was not in his life he would continue to pretend the kids didn't exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted November 15, 2010 Share Posted November 15, 2010 :hurray: This is wonderful news! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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