Getting our kids to get rid of stuff . . . thoughts?

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Please, I entreat you: Help Us Get A Handle On All The Stuff!

 

My girl has S.T.U.F.F. That girl has stuff running out her ears! The only child of an only child . . . her grandmother cannot refrain from giving her stuff (and Daddy isn't much better but is coming along).

 

So, I've made a deal with my daughter. It began with, "If you'll get rid of everything you own I'll get you the [thing] you've been wanting for Christmas." My thoughts here were that she has a ton of stuff and most of it is stuff from days gone by: toys she never played with, toys she hasn't played with since she was 5, oh the chapter books (beginner), little broken plastic toys (from the dentist/eye dr./et c), little knickknacks by the thousands, trophies, ribbons, certificates, jewelry, dress up stuff, movies, cds, doll house stuff, LEGOs!!!, American Girl dolls, their stuff . . . She should just get rid of everything!

 

ACK!!!!

 

The madness has to end.

 

Upon consideration, though, getting rid of every single item is just not reasonable. So, I've been thinking about what would be reasonable.

 

What do you think? How much stuff should a kid have?

 

Please, make or add to any categories!

 

Clothing/Accessories

*-- Only clothing items which are in good repair, fit or will fit soon (a bit of grow room is allowed).

*-- Ditto for shoes

*-- [What #?] of Accessories (jewelry, hair bobs, et c) that are in good repair, matched if neccessary, and only if she can provide a neat organized storage system.

 

Books

*-- of current and future interest (get rid of the old boxcar, et c)

 

Toys

*-- All American Girls and acc

*-- All legos but duplos have to go

*-- doll house and one set of furniture, the rest has to go (only b/c my uncle made it for her)

*-- 5 dress-up items and 10 lg fabric pieces + 2 accessories and 2 sets of shoes. Thinking about it, she enjoys the fabric far more than the dress up clothes. I could go with 20 large fabric pieces maybe. We could negotiate that.

*-- 5 movies and 5 CDs (not school related)

 

Awards

*-- All trophies and awards go to the attic. One trophy and one ribbon OR certificate can be on display in her room.

 

Knickkacks

*-- what's a reasonable number? She has so many: a clay horse hm by a friend, some little porcelain figurines from my late grandmother, paintings by my mom, a precious collection of cicada exoskeletons, broken snow globes, and TONS more.

 

Tell me what YOU think is reasonable! Please!

[dakarimom5]

First, what does she play with? At 11 toys will soon not be played with at all. Go through and be brutaly honest about what she uses and what she doesn't. My crew has 9 pairs of pants and 9 shirts for everyday wear. Is there a used bookstore near you that will give store credit for the old books? Christmas is coming...she could Craigslist her stuff for money to buy presents.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

She definately thinking of Craigs list for most of the toys and dress up stuff. She really only plays with the dress up things when friends are over and then, they mostly kind of design their own skirts, tops, scarves, veils, wraps, et c, with the fabric and safety pins.

 

I think her collection of duplo will sell and so will a lot of her other outgrowns.

 

But I'm really just wondering, of how much is reasonable to keep?

[TechWife]

My son was your daughter's age when he went to overnight camp for the first time. I used the opportunity to clean, clean, clean. When he came home, he was very happy to see his belongings pared down to a reasonable amount of stuff.

 

I highly recommend summer camp or a week at her favorite auntie's.

[fairfarmhand]

put up a high shelf on the wall. She can only keep special treasures that will fit on that one shelf. The rest go out the door. That way she can keep a few mementos that are really important to her, but they will be out of the way.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

put up a high shelf on the wall. She can only keep special treasures that will fit on that one shelf. The rest go out the door. That way she can keep a few mementos that are really important to her, but they will be out of the way.

 

We tried that . . . you'd be amazed at what will fit on that one single shelf. Admittedly, it has grown from there but the items on that shelf are stacked several high: hand-made clay ponies balance precariously on top of boxes full of cicada exoskeletons on top of a decorative box from Ireland (full of Mexican and Canadian money), on top of a thousand and one birthday cards that can't be parted with.

 

yes, she has one shelf . . . sigh . . .

[fairfarmhand]

We tried that . . . you'd be amazed at what will fit on that one single shelf. Admittedly, it has grown from there but the items on that shelf are stacked several high: hand-made clay ponies balance precariously on top of boxes full of cicada exoskeletons on top of a decorative box from Ireland (full of Mexican and Canadian money), on top of a thousand and one birthday cards that can't be parted with.

 

yes, she has one shelf . . . sigh . . .

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[MomOfOneFunOne]

My son was your daughter's age when he went to overnight camp for the first time. I used the opportunity to clean, clean, clean. When he came home, he was very happy to see his belongings pared down to a reasonable amount of stuff.

 

I highly recommend summer camp or a week at her favorite auntie's.

 

My daughter is in agreement and wants to work with me to get this done. I am catainly not above clandestine manoevers but in this case, we want to give it a try together.

[ChristusG]

I go through the playroom when my kids are either gone to my parents house or sleeping.

 

I throw away anything that's broken, any "happy meal" type toys that I consider junk, small "prize" type toys that are never played with, things with lost pieces, small things like barbie accessories or Little pet shop accessories. That's the first thing I do.

 

About a year ago, I completely went through the playroom. The kids had like 30 barbies and they don't even play with barbies. I said "choose 5" and the rest is gone. Same thing for cars/trains....I told them that they could keep X amount, and the rest is gone.

 

Stuffed animals I go through when they are gone/sleeping. If left up to them, they wouldn't get rid of a single stuffed animal. They literally have hundreds....but I throw out the junky ones, the ones that are never touched, etc.

 

I'm not a pack rat in the least. Most of their artwork I throw out after I take a digital photo of it. I keep only my very favorites. I DO keep trophies, ribbons, medals, etc.....but I keep them in a box in my closet. A few are displayed in the playroom.

 

My kids do have a lot of various things....but they are all kept neatly in plastic bins. And I had them pare down the amount of things they kept. They didn't need 20 My Little Ponies. I had them pick 3 each. They didn't need wooden blocks, legos, mega blocks, and trio blocks. They decided they liked Trio blocks the best and we kept those.

 

Here's all the things kept in plastic bins in their closet:

 

Little People

Trio blocks

cars/trains

doll/Build A Bear clothing

dress up clothing

Playmobil

My Little Pony

large bin of animal figures/people figures/etc

wooden block people

toy instruments

barbies

dollhouse furniture and accessories

dinosaurs

Wedgits

dishes and play food

Zhu Zhu hamsters/bed/carriers

 

It could probably stand to be pared down a bit more....but I think they did pretty well.

Edited November 9, 2010 by ChristusG

[Sasharowan]

What I did for the 2 oldest boys (and need to do for dd) was to pull everything out of their room except the dresser and beds, then we rearranged the room and only brought back into the room stuff that we found places for. If it was important to them, they found a place for it. It had to look neat and be kept neat. It has been about a month now and their room still looks pretty nice. Now to work on dd's room, the living room, the dining room, and my room.

[Sara R]

Let her watch Hoarders. After watching one episode, my packrat started cleaning out his room without any prompting from me. :001_smile:

[Sherry in OH]

Since she agrees, however tentatively, that she has too much stuff, I would remove everything from her room. Give the room a good cleaning and maybe a new coat of paint.

 

Then only put back in her room that which she truly loves and can use.

 

Broken toys, accessories, and decorations should be discarded.

 

Clothing - get rid of too small, don't like, inappropriate, and won't wear. Pack up clothes she likes that are too large. Mark the box and get them out when they fit. Do pull out anything you and/or she knows she will not wear. See how much is left. If it is still too much, pack up the out of season clothing, then let her pick her favorite outfits. Tell her that from now on, for each new item of clothing that is added to her wardrobe, something must be removed.

 

Shoes - this depends on your lifestyle. Unless she is involved in an activity requiring special shoes, 5 or 6 pair should be plenty.

 

Accessories - keep what she wears and can store.

 

Books - keep favorites, regardless of reading level. Store future interest books elsewhere.

 

Toys - designate an area for them. She may keep what fits. Let her decide. If she no longer wants/plays with the doll house, maybe it could be stored for future grandchildren.

 

Trophies and awards - Did you take pictures of her receiving them? If so, create a scrapbook for her. If you pry the name plate off, you can can add it to the scrapbook. I would not store these. There are organizations that welcome donations of trophies. If the awards are paper certificates, include them in the scrapbook. Also include the ribbons. She can store the book with the rest of her reading materials.

 

Knick knacks - Which ones are most precious to her? If any of them are more precious to you than her, they should not be in HER room. She should be limited to the number that fit neatly.

 

Honestly, if she sleeps in a nearly empty room for a few nights, she might decide that she really prefers that.

[K&Rs Mom]

Since she agrees, however tentatively, that she has too much stuff, I would remove everything from her room. Give the room a good cleaning and maybe a new coat of paint.

 

Would a redecorating project be a good Christmas present? Maybe a good transition out of the "little girl" stage? 11 is hard, because they still do play with toys, but they're trying to grow out of it.

 

Things that have helped here:

My dd's know there are tote boxes in the attic for them, so when they grow out of something they really love it can go in there. Other stuff gets passed to a friend with younger girls, and they like to see someone they know benefit. This works for clothes and toys.

 

Each dd has 1 pair of everyday sneakers, 1 pair "party shoes" for dressy occasions, plus snow boots & rain boots. Their ballet slippers stay at the school (I LOVE their teacher for this!), soccer cleats live in the soccer backpacks. K just bought herself a pair of dressier boots, but it's unusual for them to have that many shoes.

 

Every couple of months, I give them each a box, and tell them to fill it with stuff to donate. It goes to Goodwill or the church bazaar, and they always feel better after this because they can actually find stuff.

 

I keep a bag of playsilks & clothespins downstairs, and they use those for a lot of dressup. We had fun dying them, now they get played with, and it's a tote bag hung on a doorknob so takes up very little space. I'm going to get rid of the rest of our dressup costumes very soon, because they've been ignored a while and are mostly too small.