Dayle in Guatemala Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 We have 3 dc ages 16, 14, and 12. They are good kids and work around the house without a lot of prodding, get their schoolwork done and are generally easy to have around. Lucky us! Here's the deal...we are feeling that they are spending a little too much time on the computer and are wondering how to limit it reasonably. They aren't allowed on until after 4 pm on school days and there isn't a time constraint on the weekends right now. What's been happening is that we have one really nice laptop that needs to be used by everyone except dd16 who got a netbook for her birthday this year. We also have an old Dell that works, but, it's slow and doesn't have a good graphics card in it and we just aren't wanting to put money into it since it's old. We were wanting it to be used by the 2 youngers as their computer, which they do use, but, when dd14 wants to get on facebook or something like that it just takes a while to load up everything. What do you all do for time limits? What is allowed and not allowed? They basically can check facebook (except ds 12 who doesn't have an account there yet) and their e-mails. This is how they keep in touch with family and friends back in the US, so we aren't willing to just let it go. I'm thinking of 1/2 hour per day on school days but, letting them earn more time on the weekends by doing chores or something. It's just gotten to where there's arguing about the computer and the 16 year old is on hers a lot more than is necessary in my opinion. I don't want it to become their life and all they do! What say you all? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 I'd ask your kids what ideas they might have. Definitely get some input as to what they see as being problematic with the current setup, and what changes they might implement that were respective of others' needs to use the computer whilst still being able to get their own "fix" ... I think this is a great way to involve them in discussing the problem (rather than arguing about it) and to maybe evaluate their own time management issues. If that's not your cup of tea, I'd say your suggested 1/2 hour per day seems reasonable. I understand the desire to tie an earning of some kind to it (extra chores), but my fear would be that this elevates the computer even higher (in terms of desireability). That's probably a personality thing, though. That's what it'd seem like to me, and to my youngest, and I know the two of us would end up learning the wrong lesson about priorities! Then we'd just whine about having to do more chores (or while doing them), and that'd prove just as annoying as the arguing currently is LOL. My older child probably wouldn't see it that way, so I guess it depends on your kids' personalities :) I'm trying to think what would work for a kid like me. Probably a pay-for-use fee above and beyond the decided upon guidelines (1/2 hour per day, plus x-time on weekends). Do you give an allowance? The collected money could be used for a family outing or towards a new laptop. Set a price per 30 minutes; they'd probably be more choosy about their usage. And productive, not just farting around (like I'm doing now). Your very own internet cafe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 (edited) we don't have any time limit rules ~ haven't seen the need for them. :) ds12 doesn't use the computer alone (special needs) - when he does, it's with his sister or me and it's usually for music. dd13 currently has my old laptop and uses it for facebook, email, youtube, game sites, etc. it doesn't run all that great though & tends to overheat, so she'll be getting a new one for christmas (she's saved up some of the money, we're putting in the rest)....some days she uses it a lot, some days she barely touches it. ETA: i'm curious...for those of you who set those 30 min rules (i see this a lot for computer, tv, etc, on this board) do you also apply that to yourself? Edited October 23, 2010 by Gwenhwyfar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 We use to have the same set up as you, after 4pm, weekends whenever he wanted. Now we just do 3 days per week...he chooses those days and he still has to wait until after 4pm on weekdays. In actuality, he was relived to have the constraints because he feels like he can do other things. Before he'd just get on the computer or start gaming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 ETA: i'm curious...for those of you who set those 30 min rules (i see this a lot for computer, tv, etc, on this board) do you also apply that to yourself? I don't have any hard and fast rules, other than no tv until schoolwork is done. I don't watch much tv, I don't have any "regular" shows or anything and I'll go weeks without watching anything. Then I'll watch like 2-3 hours of absolute garbage tv LOL. My kids do the same. They'll go days without watching anything, then spend a rainy or hot Saturday catching up on 3-4 Mythbuster episodes. That works for me. I guess it's an attitude thing I worry about more; when the tv is like their drug of choice, you know? That's not an issue (yet?) and they haven't shown me that they can't moderate themselves - no need for me to set limits so far. As for the computer - I don't set an official time limit, but I don't spend a significant amount of time at one sitting; nor do they. My kids spend most of their online time messing around in word, publisher, and photoshop - all of those are A-OK with me, not major lifesucks like Facebook. They're too young for Facebook (I make them adhere to the TOS) and they check email on my phone or their iTouchs. They each have an iTouch, which is the only thing I have rules for: not at the table, not in the car, not while you're in the company of others. I think it's way rude otherwise, and those are rules I also adhere to. I ignore calls and texts if I'm otherwise engaged, and expect they do the same. I don't have any games on my iPhone, and I have strict rules about when they can play games on their iTouchs (see above; I have strong feelings on people's attachments to their electronic devices). I did not give them their iTouchs, and would rather they didn't have them .. but they're following my rules pretty well - the same rules I set for myself - so it's working for now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted October 23, 2010 Share Posted October 23, 2010 We limit our kids. They have to do at least 30 minutes of Wii fit (or calisthetics and what not when the weather is nice) before they can even ask and after school work and chores are done. They can have up to an hour but then have to do other things around the house in order to earn more time. So, it's pretty rare for anyone to be on more than that one hour per day. We were going to limit it to 30 minutes but they have a couple of neat games they like to play and cannot complete a level in 30 minutes. The three boys almost 14, 12, and 10, do not have facebook and cannot be the internet without direct supervision anyway (the router cord is unplugged and hidden whenever we aren't available). DD 19 does not have any restrictions but she has her own laptop so we don't have the sharing issue. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 hmmm.......I'd like to limit DH's time online! He plays Desktop Tower Defense for HOURS on our desktop, which means he is using our big screen tv for a monitor since he won't wear reading glasses. This means we are all subjected to Desktop Tower Defense for hours every evening....... I guess it could be worse. In our house only DS 14 is a 'gamer'. DS 19 has his own laptop, and we have three other computers in the house so there are no issues with computer time, no one else really spends a lot of time online. I do have blocking software that keeps the kids off of a lot of sites so that may make it less attractive. I am trying to channel DS 14 into learning more about the programming and graphic arts aspect of gaming, and he has been getting more and more into the technical end of it rather than just the game play so I am content to let him go with it. What exactly are your kids up to online? If it is something productive, why not just let them do it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alyce Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 They had a computer and a playstation. The rule was they could use them 3 days a week after school was done. They did get to choose the days they wanted to have use of them. Both were included on the same day so they could choose one or the other or share whatever but those were the only days they could use either one. It eventually ended up being Tues, Thurs, and all day Saturday. Thurs was a short day because of outside activities. At first they weren't happy and it took awhile for them to learn how to share but it made a huge difference in their personalities, esp my son. If you don't want to mediate arguments assign them their own days. Like 1 MWF and the other TT and 5 hours Sat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy loves Bud Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 We have 3 dc ages 16, 14, and 12. They are good kids and work around the house without a lot of prodding, get their schoolwork done and are generally easy to have around. Lucky us! Here's the deal...we are feeling that they are spending a little too much time on the computer and are wondering how to limit it reasonably. They aren't allowed on until after 4 pm on school days and there isn't a time constraint on the weekends right now. What's been happening is that we have one really nice laptop that needs to be used by everyone except dd16 who got a netbook for her birthday this year. We also have an old Dell that works, but, it's slow and doesn't have a good graphics card in it and we just aren't wanting to put money into it since it's old. We were wanting it to be used by the 2 youngers as their computer, which they do use, but, when dd14 wants to get on facebook or something like that it just takes a while to load up everything. What do you all do for time limits? What is allowed and not allowed? They basically can check facebook (except ds 12 who doesn't have an account there yet) and their e-mails. This is how they keep in touch with family and friends back in the US, so we aren't willing to just let it go. I'm thinking of 1/2 hour per day on school days but, letting them earn more time on the weekends by doing chores or something. It's just gotten to where there's arguing about the computer and the 16 year old is on hers a lot more than is necessary in my opinion. I don't want it to become their life and all they do! What say you all? Thanks! Why don't you tell them what you just told us? Tell them that since they are such good kids, you really don't want to place arbitrary liimits on them, but you feel the amount of time online and the increasing arguing are problems. Ask them to come up with their own solutions to the issue so that you don't have to be the internet policeman. Let them know you will if you have to, but would prefer that they handle it. I think this would honor them for being the good kids that they are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 Our net nanny program allows us to create passwords fir Internet use fir sac kid that only works at a certain time of day and only for the amount of time we decide. So right now they each have a half hour between noon and five pm. We have 3 dc ages 16, 14, and 12. They are good kids and work around the house without a lot of prodding, get their schoolwork done and are generally easy to have around. Lucky us! Here's the deal...we are feeling that they are spending a little too much time on the computer and are wondering how to limit it reasonably. They aren't allowed on until after 4 pm on school days and there isn't a time constraint on the weekends right now. What's been happening is that we have one really nice laptop that needs to be used by everyone except dd16 who got a netbook for her birthday this year. We also have an old Dell that works, but, it's slow and doesn't have a good graphics card in it and we just aren't wanting to put money into it since it's old. We were wanting it to be used by the 2 youngers as their computer, which they do use, but, when dd14 wants to get on facebook or something like that it just takes a while to load up everything. What do you all do for time limits? What is allowed and not allowed? They basically can check facebook (except ds 12 who doesn't have an account there yet) and their e-mails. This is how they keep in touch with family and friends back in the US, so we aren't willing to just let it go. I'm thinking of 1/2 hour per day on school days but, letting them earn more time on the weekends by doing chores or something. It's just gotten to where there's arguing about the computer and the 16 year old is on hers a lot more than is necessary in my opinion. I don't want it to become their life and all they do! What say you all? Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeegal Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 My kids currently get 45 min. per school day completed, once they're old enough to start spelling. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 When I got to the point of nearly tearing my hair out over this issue, DH and I decided to give screen time vouchers at the beginning of every week. They have a certain number of hours per week for computer, PS3, Wii etc... And once they've used that up, that's it. They are also not allowed to go on the computer for recreation before 3 pm. This has worked beautifully for us and has had a few unexpected side benefits: I have had to crack down on disrespectful talk between them (usually it starts as joking then morphs into insults) and the loss of a 30 minute screen time voucher is very effective :D We have also offered to trade vouchers back at the end of the week for euros. We are going to Europe in March and they are saving. This has also decreased their time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 We do not limit computer or other electronics usage. I personally feel it is important to learn to self-regulate and that in order to do that free access is necessary. So far we've never had a problem with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 We don't limit time. Ds is in the process of building something online, maintains a youtube account and a few other sites. We're all pretty techy so computer time is a given in our house. However, I do notice the computer, gaming becomes something to do when we are bored. We're working to make sure there are other activities that take away some of the computer time. We're getting ready to move and will have a whole list of new places to check out so that will help. Plus I've been working on a list of responsibilities that must be done before we (yes, I'm just as bad) get online to veg out. We're also developing some more family centered activities, like game night, movie night, and events in our new community. we seem to go in spurts, some days we're hanging out on the computer a lot, some days we barely log on. The balance seems to change during the year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted October 24, 2010 Author Share Posted October 24, 2010 What exactly are your kids up to online? If it is something productive, why not just let them do it? They pretty much check out facebook and e-mail. It's not that they are on a lot necessarily, it's just the bickering about computer time as well as on the weekends there is just entirely too much--for real. My son has blender and uses it for animation and things and we don't really limit that much because we feel it's more productive. Dh and I talked and we like the idea that they have to do something productive before they play on the computer. He also came up with them being able to earn more time by either chores or by extra practice on their instruments, which I liked! Thanks so much for the input! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 We have to adjust our computer time now and again but we've always had limits. I've been anxious lately and been on the computer way too much. I know what I'm not getting done. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 We are a pretty computer addicted family. For many years the rules for the kids were one hour after school on school days, and 2 hours each day on Saturday, Sunday, and holidays. But that has all slid by over the last year or 2- and because we homeschool and the kids socialise online a lot, I have been a bit lax about it. Dd16 has been texting a phenomenal amount. Ds14 spends way too much time on Facebook. Its time to crack down around here. I am disconnecting the modem at 9pm for starters because they have been online way too late at night. I guess its something all families need to find their own way with. Dd16 has just crossed the boundaries so far around here that she has lost all computer and phone priveleges until further notice. That should change her mindset considerably...but rather than doing it as a punishment, its more to snap her back into the family, because she was spending so much time with other people- online. I know her social group- they are ok- we are on her Facebook so we know what goes on....but its just too much. We all have our own computers though...so our issues may be different from yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted October 24, 2010 Share Posted October 24, 2010 (edited) My rules are simple. During the week (Sunday night through Thursday night), the kids may use electronic entertainment from 7 p.m. until 9 p.m., as long as their schoolwork and chores are done. If they need a computer to do schoolwork between 4p and 7p, they use mine. During the weekends (Fri afternoon - Sun afternoon), the kids may use electronic entertainment any time they choose, as long as chores are done first, until midnight. Friday afternoons and evenings are always schoolwork-free. Sunday has a schoolwork restriction, if it hasn't been completed by then. I have parental controls set up on the computers so that the kids don't violate the time limitations. The only exceptions to the time limits occur when Red Sox games are on t.v. Edited October 24, 2010 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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