littlebug42 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 My Dad died one year ago today. The recent threads about childhood regret coupled with this have been on my heart. I loved my Dad but he was not a good father. His whole life was taken over by his alcoholism. He was abusive to my mother when they were married and I know that I missed out on so much as a kid. When I see my dh with my daughters, sometimes it makes my heart hurt because it drives home exactly all that I missed with my Dad. This morning though, all I can think about is that I wish I could feel his arms around me and his rough voice calling me Daddy's little girl just one more time. It makes the childhood stuff and all of his failings seem much less monumental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
springmama Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I'm so sorry. I can relate. My dad has been gone a little over a year now as well and also wasn't a great father. He cheated on my mom, verbally abused me, and turn his back on me several times throughout my teen years. The regret coupled with grief is so weird. If you ever need to vent, feel free to pm me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rfhsmom Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadiegirl Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Sorry for your pain-:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I'm sorry for your pain. My dad was an alcoholic, too. He passed away 3 years ago this October. I haven't looked at the childhood regrets thread because I knew it would stir up all those painful childhood memories. I agree with springmama - the regret coupled with grief is weird. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juelle Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 May your heart be comforted today.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: It's a lovely thing that your dh is a good father to your girls. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paintedlady Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 I'm sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted August 30, 2010 Share Posted August 30, 2010 Oh, Jenni. :grouphug: I'm so sorry that you lost your dad. Even when they are not great fathers, there is always a special place in a daughter's heart, I think, for her Daddy. The best gift you've given yourself is forgiving him. I hope you can teach your heart to rejoice in the daddy your girls have, and know that your dad would have been that to you if he could. I don't know what I would do if I lost my dad. We have our moments, but I love him so much. I'm so sorry, honey. I am crying with you today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
littlebug42 Posted August 31, 2010 Author Share Posted August 31, 2010 Thanks everyone. I got through the day with only a few breakdowns.:001_smile: My relationship with my Dad was complicated but I know that despite his faults, he loved me. That helps me find some peace with the past. I hold on to that and try to remember the ways that he showed me and not the ways that he didn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crowscreek Posted August 31, 2010 Share Posted August 31, 2010 To the previous poster: I am SO glad that you at least had a speaking relationship w/ your dad. MY dad lives 10 minutes from me and still we are not on speaking terms. I would MUCH rather hold a loving father in effigy than have a living, breathing, parental unit that I cannot stand to bring my children around that lives a few miles from my front door. It is a sad and lonely situation, indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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