Help - half homeschooled/half pub schooled - Now what???

[JennifersLost]

Help - I have no idea what to do and I really need some advice from some seasoned homeschooling mothers. I'm about ready to hyperventilate

 

I have a 17 year old son who should be going into twelfth grade. He is a smart, motivated, personable human being. He is ready for college as far as maturity and ability to work hard is concerned. I have no qualms that he would do fine at school.

 

However, there is a hitch.

 

We homeschooled him from grade 1 - 7 and he did very well.

 

He went to eighth grade and 1/2 of ninth grade at public school and ended up having a horrible experience. Some of you will probably remember this. He had the gym teacher who played a game called "Tackle the Weenie". This game consisted of kids dividing into teams picking the "weenie". Then each team rushed to pin the other team's weenie before theirs was pinned. They were supposed to use wrestling moves. Dogpiling was encouraged.

 

The class was coed.

 

I complained and made a stink. Nothing happened, except that the gym teacher decided my son was the enemy and from that day forward he made his life miserable every single day for the rest of the year. Since I'd already made things bad, my son didn't tell me until the end of the year. By then the damage was done.

 

 

He went to public school another half-semester. The second half of ninth grade and tenth we homeschooled again, but things had changed. We were off-kilter. For the first time we ran into problems with math and science. My son had lost all his drive and ended up going through a period of severe depression. He couldn't see the point of anything having to do with school. It was awful to watch my bright, wonderful boy withdraw from everyone and become so isolated.

 

I realized I had to back off for awhile, so for eleventh grade we did a modified homeschooling/unschooling program. We persevered with social studies and English Literature, but instead of math and science we let him take on a very large computer programming project.

 

While he made a lot of progress and learned a lot, the biggest lesson he learned was that he does not want to be a programmer. That's okay - I'm glad he knows now rather than after two years at a University. He continued his self-imposed isolation, but gradually got out of his funk.

 

Then, this summer he had another life-changing experience.

 

My son attended a summer program at a Heifer International camp with a cousin of his and he rediscovered his joy in life. Although he'd come out of his major depression last year, he hadn't quite recovered his self-confidence or drive. After spending a week with other upbeat, motivated teenagers at a program he loved (he loves farming/gardening/cooking/social justice, etc.) he came back a totally changed kid. He was back to the kid I knew - the excited, smart, hardworking kid who had self-confidence and always excelled at everything he did before he went to public school.

 

(I'm fighting tears as I write this. It has been a difficult couple of years).

 

He now wants to get his diploma and he wants to go to college to pursue a dual degree - meteorology and environmental science. He'd love to attend University of Oklahoma.

 

So - NOW WHAT????

 

He's game to go back to public school just so he can get a diploma this year and get the science and math classes I can't teach him, but I can't see how he can possibly do enough in one year to qualify for the British Columbia diploma. And I don't think our school district will count our homeschooling classes toward the diploma - at least not enough of them. Maybe they will.

 

What would you do? Go for the diploma? Go for just the classes we didn't cover and forget the diploma? Write up our own transcript?

 

He hasn't taken an SAT or anything.

 

I'm freaking out. I think it's important to him now to "graduate with his class". What would you do?

[Guest]

First of all -- congratulations to both of you for persevering, trying out completely new things, and finding something that restored your son's confidence and general enthusiasm for learning and living. That is an amazing, gigantic, stupendous accomplishment and you are both to be applauded (over and over again)!

 

I know nothing about Canadian requirements, so my comments are based on the fact that he has his eye on a U.S. college. If that is the case, I'd see whether I could find a tutor for the next year for math -- possibly also science, although I think there are a lot of good DVDs, Teaching Company lectures, books, museum classes, etc. that you could also investigate. Given his goals, emphasize these two areas.

 

Then, I'd set up the bare minimum of the rest of regular academic work and encourage him to find some way to follow up on that Heifer Int'l project or something like it. This is what's going to make him stand out in the college admissions process. (Also, don't discount the programming experiment, because having the courage to try this and to be honest about what you discovered in the process is another huge maturity factor.)

 

If this were my child -- and of course this is easy to say because it isn't -- I wouldn't care one fig for whether he graduated "with his class." He now has a goal above and beyond that. Most importantly, he's now self-confident, motivated, and HAPPY. I would not mess with that by putting him back in the same environment which was so devastating.

 

I wouldn't even worry about doing the SATs and all that on a certain timetable. Given his past experiences and his recovery, he might do really well with a gap year, or even a few extra months, in which to extend his in-the-field work or volunteering, to shadow someone in the fields he hopes to work in, or simply to take time in which he is not stressed out by classes to study for the SATs, finish up his math or science, and write applications. There's no set-in-concrete timetable in which he has to do this: certainly he does NOT have to follow the public school's timetable. Again, what's going to make your son stand out is the process through which he has rediscovered his confidence and his goals for his own future. A tutor, mentors, employers... these people will be able to write references for your son to back up what you and he say about homeschooling. Kids with a bit of real-world experience are very attractive to colleges that receive thousands of cookie-cutter applications.

 

You might also have him write the university he's interested in, asking more specific questions about what they like to see from homeschoolers.

[Beth in OH]

Don't panic--I don't think you two are as far off as you might feel you are. Here's the link to the admission requirements for the OU--the core course requirements are pretty typical of US universities. http://www.ou.edu/content/admissions/home/requirements/undergraduate/freshman_admission.html Stay focused on what you need to do to meet minimum credit requirements.

 

4 years of English--it sounds like you have this one in the bag.

 

3 units of college prep math--outsource math this year and you have it. (Don't focus on the suggested 4 units unless there's reasonable way to double up math this year--e.g. Alg. II and Statistics)

 

3 units of lab science (one year of principles of technology may substitute for one of the lab science courses)-- I'd call the year-long computer project "principles of technology", outsource a lab science this year, and then look for a way to get in another science (unless either fresh or soph year included lab--I couldn't tell).

 

3 units of history and citizenship--it sounds like you have this one under control, too. If you stick with only 3 units, that could free up time for any extra science/math.

 

2 additional units--most US schools would require this to be foreign language, but OU says it can be in any of the areas previously listed, computer science, or foreign language. What do you have that you can use here?

 

You'll then need electives to fill out the high school grad requirements. Award credit for the Heifer Project experience. Dd did a public school semester of an internship and it earned 3 units of independent study credit.

 

 

As for ps v. homeschool--explore what it would actually take to graduate from ps, map out what it would take to graduate from hs, and weigh the options. If the ps will let your ds enroll (even if they won't graduate him without extra years), and he's willing to go there to get the math/science, consider it outsourcing the courses and still graduate him from homeschool. Just list the courses as outsourced to XYZ high school. My dd's have had lots of this kind of thing on their transcripts.

 

When it comes time to apply, have your ds write a personal statement explaining his high school journey and challenges, what he learned, where he is now, and how he plans to continue the positive trend in college. Submit this in addition to the regular essays and application. Second chance college transfers do this all the time. It gives the college a more accurate picture of what might be a less than stellar transcript.

 

I want to encourage you and your ds! He is getting the job done in his own way, and that's something to celebrate. There's more than one path in life......

 

Beth

[creekland]

No real advice here, but if he can put his life into words somehow, he'd have a killer essay (if that college requires one).

 

Otherwise, I'd be on their web site or e-mailing an admissions rep with your questions. Better yet, can HE mail the admissions rep? And check a practice SAT/ACT book out of the library and see where he stands there by doing a practice test.

[JennifersLost]

There's some good advice here and I'm feeling a little calmer. I just wish he hadn't waited until the last minute!

 

We will make an appointment with the school counselor to get his/her breakdown of what it would take to get the diploma, but I'm leaning toward writing up our transcript for what we HAVE done and then "outsourcing" the remaining credits to the school that we need to round it out....and just forget the diploma.

 

We also need to get in touch with OU and to research other possible schools.

 

I'm sure I will have many more questions as we move forward. I'll take any other suggestions, as well!

[Teachin'Mine]

If it's at all possible, I would look to sources other than his public school for getting courses that you aren't able to teach. I think he deserves a break from all that the school represents. No one should have to go through what he's been through.

[JennifersLost]

It's actually a different school. High school is split into two parts where we are, so he'd be dealing with a different school/administration, etc. No guarantee that it's better, but....

 

The problem is we don't have other options. The local community college made it clear they won't consider taking him until he's 18 and even then they'd prefer it if he's beyond high school age. That's too late.

 

I talked to my son and he's interested in picking out the courses he needs for the program he wants to enter. He doesn't care about graduation/diploma. That makes things much, much easier.

 

Unless the school makes a stink....I won't know until next week at the earliest. I'm visiting relatives and don't want to make the international call from here.

[EKS]

If it were me, I would ask the school if they can make it work and if they can't, I'd homeschool him and graduate him myself.

[Chris in VA]

Jennifer, I just wanted to say Hi and I'm so glad your son is doing well! Heifer is an awesome organization! Glad he had the experience.

Adding--

Universities look for interesting experiences and backrounds--if he could do some standardized testing (maybe ACT instead of SAT, since it is descriptive instead of prescriptive) to back up a homeschool transcript, I think it'd be a plus. Is there a chance he could take two courses at your local hs and do the rest at home? (We have the option to take two "core courses" at high school while still homeschooling, here in VA.)

[In The Great White North]

I talked to my son and he's interested in picking out the courses he needs for the program he wants to enter. He doesn't care about graduation/diploma. That makes things much, much easier.

 

Given this, I'd homeschool, catered specifically to the requirements for his college/major of choice. (He needs to widen that also - way too many kids don't end up at their college of choice.) It is much easier to pick specific courses he wants when you don't have to take governmental requirements into account. (If we were to try to put dd into the public school now , 10th, and work towards a diploma, she would have to add in all the "garbage" courses we tend to avoid - PE, health, computers - and would have no room in her schedule for the courses she is actually interested in.)

[dphock]

Any chance that the HS has independent study? That way he'd be enrolled in the school but could do some or all work at home, graduate with the class but avoid contact with the nasty kids if they're still there. There might be a way to take some classes independent study and participate in others in the classroom, too.

 

BTW, you have described our experience with our daughter -- your details are different but the excited kid turned into a horribly depressed and school-avoidant kid are what we've experienced, and we are just on the downhill side of bad depression. We're seeing the kid we knew in large part which is great -- but even the thought of schoolwork right now is turning her off. So we are taking things slowly. I am keeping my fingers crossed that she will find something to turn the excitement back on, as your son did with Heifer Intl. Thanks for sharing the story.

 

diane

[JennifersLost]

Thanks for all the responses. I just sat down with my husband to go over what it would take for ds to graduate with a diploma from the local school. He was able to see that it's just about impossible at this point.

 

We agreed we'd still talk to the school, but also investigate having ds take the GED and find ways to fill in classes we think he should have, whether through the school or otherwise, and then either take a year at the local community college or apply to some schools in the US. There's one in particular that has a meteorology program that only requires a GED and an SAT score.

[RanchGirl]

We're kind of worried about ending up in the same boat (I just posted about homeschooling for junior high and then doing public or private school for senior high, to avoid the junior high angst). So I am not coming from a place of experience, just a place of planning and worrying! But for what it's worth, here are my thoughts.

 

Unless he wants to go to the public school for some reason, I would probably send him to community college/online classes/private tutoring for the math and science he needs that you can't provide and wrap it all up into a transcript and diploma from NARHS. If he can take CC courses and do well, that will be more impressive on his college apps anyway.

 

Now if he wants to go to the local public high school, then I would try to work with them either for him to graduate there or for your son to enroll there part time for the classes he needs and put them on a NARHS transcript (or your own transcript, I don't know that you really *need* NARHS, I haven't looked at OU's requirements).

 

I would consider the GED a last resort, personally, especially since he is college bound. Unless he is going to do the GED, then take CC courses and then apply to college. But still, I would prefer a homeschool diploma over the GED.

 

Also, I think he'll want to start preparing for and take the ACT or SAT as soon as possible, or come up with another plan if you don't plan to submit test scores.