calling families who have had kids in private school

[Halftime Hope]

(or currently have kids in private school)

 

I need to hear your experiences. What would you want someone considering private school for a high schooler to know?

 

I have homeschooled three kids all the way through, with a fair amount of outsourcing, expecially in the high school years.

 

I am down to one student, a social butterfly, who will be the only student at home this year. When asked this year if he would like to go to private school, he said no, that he liked homeschooling, but I'm betting that next year he might consider it. I'm afraid that this year will be very lonely for him.

 

What should we know before I think about this further? Thanks!!

 

P.S. Those who know me IRL: I'm not ready to broach this with my student yet, so keeping this between us, for now, would help. Thanks!

Edited July 28, 2010 by Valerie(TX)

[NanceXToo]

Just to throw it out there, I attended a Catholic high school for one year when I was in 10th grade. My family was not Catholic, or Christian at all, but my mother thought it might be a better school than our local public schools were.

 

It wasn't. It was not any "better" than the public schools were in regard to quality of teaching, or quality of students.

 

The girls would roll up their skirts at the waist to look shorter and unbutton their top buttons. Kids would smoke in the shower rooms, bully each other, get into fights, and some of them sold pot.

 

One of the teachers made an inappropriately hurtful comment to me, basically telling me I was stupid.

 

So in no way do I have illusions that private school is necessarily any different or better than public, so if I were going to send my kids back to school, I'd examine my reasons for wanting to spend a lot of money on a private school and whether those reasons are really going to hold up to the cost.

[Mom in High Heels]

I went to an all girls Catholic school for high school and I loved it. Yes, we rolled our skirts (though I have no idea why), but it was nothing like what the pp described. It was an excellent school with very high academic standards. If you got a C 2 report cards in a row you got put on academic probation. If you got a D, you were automatically on probation and had one term to pull it up to at least a C or you were banned from extra-curricular activities all year. If you got an F, you had one term to pull it to a C or you were asked to leave the school (even though your parents were paying a ridiculous amount of money for you to go there). While I was there they had a 100% college attendance rate for seniors. During the time I was there, we had 2 girls leave the school. One for academic reasons and another because she got pregnant. They were very serious about academics and character. Of course we goofed off and did things we weren't supposed to, but that's just teenagers.

It offered lots of artistic classes (photography, ceramics, drama, drawing, etc), along with rigorous academic courses, including upper level and AP. We had multiple sports, clubs, etc and it was an overall great experience. I'm still friends with many of the girls I went to school with (I graduated in 1991).

If we can swing it when Indy is ready for high school, he'll probably go to an all boys school. I'm a big believer in single sex education. If we were looking for a school for him, we'd look for a school that demands high academic standards, promotes personal values (not necessarily religious, but more like taking responsibility, citizenship, etc), and offers a variety of artistic/musical courses and extra curricular activities.

[mommaduck]

It really depends on the private school. I would speak with families that have sent their children there. Just like a previous poster had a very negative experience, I had a very positive one.

[texasmama]

I wrote a very detailed reply and lost it.:confused: I would be glad to talk to you about our decision making process for dd. We have been very pleased with our choice. PM me if you want to talk. I am in TX, too, and would be glad to give you my phone number. :001_smile:

[MariannNOVA]

I went to an all girls Catholic school for high school and I loved it. Yes, we rolled our skirts (though I have no idea why), but it was nothing like what the pp described. It was an excellent school with very high academic standards. If you got a C 2 report cards in a row you got put on academic probation. If you got a D, you were automatically on probation and had one term to pull it up to at least a C or you were banned from extra-curricular activities all year. If you got an F, you had one term to pull it to a C or you were asked to leave the school (even though your parents were paying a ridiculous amount of money for you to go there). While I was there they had a 100% college attendance rate for seniors. During the time I was there, we had 2 girls leave the school. One for academic reasons and another because she got pregnant. They were very serious about academics and character. Of course we goofed off and did things we weren't supposed to, but that's just teenagers.

It offered lots of artistic classes (photography, ceramics, drama, drawing, etc), along with rigorous academic courses, including upper level and AP. We had multiple sports, clubs, etc and it was an overall great experience. I'm still friends with many of the girls I went to school with (I graduated in 1991).

If we can swing it when Indy is ready for high school, he'll probably go to an all boys school. I'm a big believer in single sex education. If we were looking for a school for him, we'd look for a school that demands high academic standards, promotes personal values (not necessarily religious, but more like taking responsibility, citizenship, etc), and offers a variety of artistic/musical courses and extra curricular activities.

 

 

OMH! You and I SO went to the same high school. I could have written what you wrote. There were 59 young ladies in my graduating class and it was the largest class the school had ever graduated - and I graduated with friends whose mothers and aunts had graduated from there - so the school had been around AWHILE. My younger sister graduated from there - it was the BEST as far as I am concerned.

 

I am not a FB person, but 30+ years after graduation, I get friend requests from women I went to high school with and it is as if no time has passed since we last saw each other - and there are two others that I keep in touch with on a regular basis.

 

I sent both my older daughters to high schools that I found similar and they both loved the experience.

 

As far as what to look for in your search: AP classes, the school's academic status (we are looking at what is called in Virginia a 'Blue Ribbon' school for our three for grades 7-12), into what colleges is the graduating class accepted, availability for service projects (many colleges are BIG on service to the community - dh's undergrad school is), and right ow on one cup of coffee, that is all I can remember...oh, sports, we are looking at a school that has a girls' lacrosse team as both girls play.

[Cinder]

Ds1 attends a small, Christian school. We sent him because we discovered he really needed us to be "just" his parents. When we're also his teachers he feels like there's an adversarial relationship between us. He never verbalized that, it's something we discovered for ourselves while trying to decide whether to continue homeschooling him. While public school may offer a wider variety of courses and activities, we were looking for something different.

 

The cs is small--really small. Just over 300 students k-12; the ps has about 2000 students, 9-12. Large groups bother him--the noise level, number of bodies.

 

With the school being so small, all the school leadership know ds1 and us. They are very accessible to parents and students. They work hard to lead by example and help the parents instill Christian principles in their children.

 

 

This cs is also a University Model School, a sort of hybrid between school and homeschool. Most classes meet 3 days a week for an hour each; some meet twice a week for 1.5 hrs each. A student can attend full-time or part-time. We can still do courses on our own and submit them for credit.

 

Ds1 is happy with his experience at this school, and overall it's been a good experience for us.

 

Cinder

[LibraryLover]

Our experience was wonderful, with some imperfections. lol :tongue_smilie: We felt safe, respected, cared-for, and the education was excellent (there was very much a classical tone). Latin starting in 6th grade (with participation in the NLE), Spanish from 2nd to 5th with the opportunity to continue through 8th. The upper school lit classes were very challenging, and even the youngest children had lab science, including the kindergarteners. The imperfections were minor. I can't even give a specific or dramatic example except to say that nothing is perfect.

 

We wanted our freedom, and we were starting to get closer to college and so we decided to make the break, although two of my children did graduate from the school. Sometimes I miss the people very much.

 

The tuition has gone up significantly, but if I could do it easily, without taking away from the other children (still be able to help with college etc) I would consider sending my youngest for 6th-to 8th grades. As much as I love hsing, and as much as she loves hsing, I know she would thrive there just as her siblings did. We would lose our freedom, but we really like what is going on at this school, so it would be a tradeoff....perhaps a good one, but still. I am rather glad we can't swing it at this time...

 

So, I am probably no help...I do think a good school with repsectful teachers and an excellent program can work well for some children. This type of education often comes with a huge price tag... If you can do it, if she is happy, it you trust the people and respect their philosophy, it's not easy (for some of us) to say never.

Edited July 28, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Harriet Vane]

I attended a small, academically challenging, private, Christian high school. It was a fabulous experience. My class had only 56 students. It was an emotionally and spiritually warm, vital place for me, and I am so thankful to have been there.

 

I will say that even within my school I know others did not have the same great experience. In such a small setting, your experience is entirely dependent upon finding friends. My graduating class was a good bunch, so we had a lovely time. The class one year older than me struggled quite a bit more, however. That class had a much higher percentage of kids who were actively non-Christian and were also actively choosing rebellious behaviors.

 

To some extent you can try to get a feel for the school by visiting, by talking to other parents, etc. To some extent you never really know until you're there as a student.

[Mom in High Heels]

OMH! You and I SO went to the same high school. I could have written what you wrote. There were 59 young ladies in my graduating class and it was the largest class the school had ever graduated - and I graduated with friends whose mothers and aunts had graduated from there - so the school had been around AWHILE. My younger sister graduated from there - it was the BEST as far as I am concerned.

 

I am not a FB person, but 30+ years after graduation, I get friend requests from women I went to high school with and it is as if no time has passed since we last saw each other - and there are two others that I keep in touch with on a regular basis.

 

I sent both my older daughters to high schools that I found similar and they both loved the experience.

 

As far as what to look for in your search: AP classes, the school's academic status (we are looking at what is called in Virginia a 'Blue Ribbon' school for our three for grades 7-12), into what colleges is the graduating class accepted, availability for service projects (many colleges are BIG on service to the community - dh's undergrad school is), and right ow on one cup of coffee, that is all I can remember...oh, sports, we are looking at a school that has a girls' lacrosse team as both girls play.

 

LOL! If you hadn't said your school was in VA, I would have thought we went to the same school. My class had 48, which was, up to that point, the largest class (I believe 1998 had 52). We too had a service requirement. I forgot all about that until you mentioned it. We had to do a minimum of 30 hours a year. A lot of girls did a few weekend projects, like renovating houses or schools in underprivileged areas.

You didn't go to a Sacred Heart Academy, did you? I went to one in Lake Forest, IL, just north of Chicago.

[MariannNOVA]

LOL! If you hadn't said your school was in VA, I would have thought we went to the same school. My class had 48, which was, up to that point, the largest class (I believe 1998 had 52). We too had a service requirement. I forgot all about that until you mentioned it. We had to do a minimum of 30 hours a year. A lot of girls did a few weekend projects, like renovating houses or schools in underprivileged areas.

You didn't go to a Sacred Heart Academy, did you? I went to one in Lake Forest, IL, just north of Chicago.

 

SO funny! :) No, I went to Marylawn of the Oranges in South Orange, NJ - just west of NYC.

[tex-mex]

Haven't read the other replies. My personal experience with private schools is that there is a huge workload. High expectations. So, make sure your child is prepped with basic study skills (i.e. organization & notetaking) to keep up. I think they will do well. It may be a bumpy first couple of months, but in a year's time, you'll be happy.

[tex-mex]

It really depends on the private school. I would speak with families that have sent their children there. Just like a previous poster had a very negative experience, I had a very positive one.

:iagree: Don't be under the impression that if it is private -- the kids are "angels". LOL Kids will be kids. But my experience is that the quality of instruction and spiritual indoctrination is quite good compared to public schools. (I used to teach in public schools & private schools -- but my son attended private up 'til 3rd grade. Then we homeschooled. Still keep in touch with his old school chums who are now in high school. Parents tell me how it is like.)

[Mimm]

I had my kids in a private school and this will be our first year homeschooling. The most important thing to be aware of in my opinion is (as I'm sure you know) not all private schools are created equal! Do lots of research, talk to everyone you can in your town, talk to administrators, see what teachers the schools will put you in contact with. We picked our school because it was the only classical Christian private school and we ended up loving it. It is associated with ACCS which is an organization we had done a researched on and trusted.

 

Some private schools seem to have a lot of kids that are in private school because they kept getting in trouble. The parents yank them out of public school and stick them in private school with a bunch of other kids who were getting into trouble in public school. So it's basically the same kids but with uniforms.

 

Our private school had a great environment that encouraged kids to mentor younger children rather than seeing younger children as people to pick on. Not that all the kids were perfect or anything (I'm pretty sure that none of them were). Also, the school tended to expect parents to enforce the rules. If your kid broke rules (which my nine year old was fond of doing) then pretty much the most they would do is give her a talking to and inform you of the problem. You were expected to follow up on it however you felt was appropriate, but having your kid in their office repeatedly for the same offense would be a problem.

 

Overall, my kids' experience with private schools was wonderful. In fact, I feel like I kind of gush about my kids' school, but let me assure you that it wasn't perfect. I did have some minor complaints that were worth putting up with.

[Mimm]

I'm a big believer in single sex education.

 

Me too! And people think I'm weird for that but I think there's a lot of good things about it. This last year, my kids' school decided to experiment with their third grade classroom by splitting them up into a boys' class and a girls' class. They had a male teacher and a female teacher and it was a great experience as far as I know. Imogen absolutely adored her teacher and when I went on field trips, it was awesome to see the rapport that the other teacher had with all those boys. There were more boys than girls so I figured the poor guy had his hands full but they really listened to him and respected him.

[Angjune]

Like other posters, I also went to Catholic grade school as well as high school. However, our experiences would be much different from this generation. Kids, in general, are different as we all can attest.

 

Both my children went to Catholic elementary school and then when my son was ready to go to high school I decided on public high school for a variety of reasons. I know that someone mentioned that they would prefer one sex school but I felt differently. I felt that he needed to be around both boys and girls as that is what he will have to be used to in college and beyond. I also wanted him to be used to speaking with girls regularly. He is not distracted by the girls and has performed great academically. Another person that mentioned all girl school is correct. The girls at the private school near us are boy crazy and you wouldn't believe some of the stories I hear about their "extracurricular" activities. So, in the end, the kids at both private and public are very similar.

 

The difference though (depending on where you live) is that there are higher expectations at the private high schools. Many kids in the public school don't perform well if they don't have parents making sure that they strive to do their best.

 

Not sure if this helped but hope it did.

 

Good luck

[zaichiki]

It really depends on the private school. I would speak with families that have sent their children there. Just like a previous poster had a very negative experience, I had a very positive one.

 

Absolutely. :iagree:

 

The only experiences that will help you are the experiences had by the kids/families at THAT school.

 

We put ds in a small Catholic school for the first time last year (6th grade). He had never been to school. It took him about 4 weeks (Charlotte Mason anyone?) to adjust and acquire the responsibility, organization, and time management skills he needed (keeping a homework book, locker organized, bringing the right notebooks to the right classes, etc.). After the first 2 weeks I thought he'd NEVER figure it out. I wondered how much help he was going to need... he went back into the building every day after school to retrieve forgotten homework assignments (sometimes he went back into the building TWICE in 5 minutes). 2 weeks after that he had it down cold. Didn't miss a trick. So, I guess my advice is to remember to :chillpill: in times of stress. They WILL get it.