mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Good grief! A realtor called my husband back while he was sleeping (he's night shift). It was a private number so I did my usual of answering in Cherokee (Osiyo tends to steer off telemarketers) and then asked who was calling when he asked for my husband. He told me then asked if my husband was here. I informed him that yes, but he's sleeping, I'm his wife and he could speak with me. He said, "Thank you" really quickly and hung up. Grrrr! I've heard from my MIL that she had to use my BIL to get this realtor to deal with because of a male/female issue. It just ticks me off that he would treat me like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe it is his hang-up? Like he's freaked out by women. Either way, I would find another realtor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I'd def find another realtor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe it is his hang-up? Like he's freaked out by women. Either way, I would find another realtor. My guess is that he's of a particular religious group around here that is so uber patriarchal that women aren't permitted to ask questions or receive information. :glare: If so, then it's a particular group that *I* have a hang up over (and for me, that is rare). We're looking for a rental, so we can't just choose a realtor, but have to ask around. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Many professionals are not going to speak to a husband or wife based on that person's word. If the initial contact was with just one party, they will want to speak to that party unless they hear otherwise from the client himself. It's sad, but he really has no idea if you are separating, prying, or actually the girl friend. If you and DH have sought his services together then I would find a new realtor or meet together to discuss why he treated you that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 (edited) Many professionals are not going to speak to a husband or wife based on that person's word. If the initial contact was with just one party, they will want to speak to that party unless they hear otherwise from the client himself. It's sad, but he really has no idea if you are separating, prying, or actually the girl friend. If you and DH have sought his services together then I would find a new realtor or meet together to discuss why he treated you that way. My husband left a message and was looking for a home big enough for our family (we are a large family and it was very apparent that this was for a family). So on one hand, he doesn't know either of us. On the other, he may have just made a grave error by treating me like he did. Trust me, if he doesn't return MY call and make things right, then there will be an online review. Edited May 13, 2010 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe; my midwife wouldn't talk to my husband on the phone about my health at all except when I was in labor. Your husband could, I suppose, tell him you're "authorized" to discuss things so he knows that he won't be violating realtor "confidentiality." However, if he will never speak to women for any reason, then that may not be an appropriate choice for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCoppock Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Many professionals are not going to speak to a husband or wife based on that person's word. If the initial contact was with just one party, they will want to speak to that party unless they hear otherwise from the client himself. It's sad, but he really has no idea if you are separating, prying, or actually the girl friend. If you and DH have sought his services together then I would find a new realtor or meet together to discuss why he treated you that way. I understanding where you are coming from, but the fact this "professional" just hung up makes me wonder if there is something more to it. I personally would avoid someone who refused to speak with me just because I was a woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 Maybe; my midwife wouldn't talk to my husband on the phone about my health at all except when I was in labor. Your husband could, I suppose, tell him you're "authorized" to discuss things so he knows that he won't be violating realtor "confidentiality." However, if he will never speak to women for any reason, then that may not be an appropriate choice for you. I've spoken with realtors in the past. NONE of them have ever behaved this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenstet Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I had a carpet guy come to give an estimate. He wouldn't show me samples because my husband wasn't there and this was a "decision we needed to make together". I tried to explain that my husband couldn't care less about the color carpet I chose. Needless to say we found a different company. I would do the same thing. Especially if he hung up on you without explaining his reasons for needing your husband there. That's just rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Honestly, unless your husband specifically told him to talk to either of you, I think he was okay to want to just leave a message. When your husband called him back, he could ask, "Do I have permission to talk to your wife?" I don't think that talking to you would be wrong either - but I don't think we can draw the immediate conclusion that he's sexist. It may well be that he has just learned to be careful to draw strict lines like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 We're looking for a rental, so we can't just choose a realtor, but have to ask around. Maybe your state is different, but in these here parts you can choose your own realtor to help with rentals. Most rentals are listed in the MLS so the realtor of your choosing would have information on all of them. When this might differ is if they only list on Craigslist or something. Then you do have to do your own scouting but it's still good to have a realtor in your pocket. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 Honestly, unless your husband specifically told him to talk to either of you, I think he was okay to want to just leave a message. When your husband called him back, he could ask, "Do I have permission to talk to your wife?" I don't think that talking to you would be wrong either - but I don't think we can draw the immediate conclusion that he's sexist. It may well be that he has just learned to be careful to draw strict lines like that. He wouldn't even leave a message! No, this was odd. I left a message at their office. Who I was, that my husband and I are looking for a place to rent, that one of their realtors had called here, and proceded to hang up when I informed him that my husband was sleeping...to please call me back at such and such a number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Purpledaizy Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 ugh, I dealt with a similar situation. A good friend of mine married into a patriarchal family. Since her husband sold carpeting and installation services, I contacted him when we were redecorating. He came over, I chose from his samples and said I would get my checkbook. He then turned to my dh, who was at the computer and most obviously didn't care whether I chose to carpet or paint our floors a la Jackson Pollock, and pointedly asked for him to approve my purchase :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 ugh, I dealt with a similar situation. A good friend of mine married into a patriarchal family. Since her husband sold carpeting and installation services, I contacted him when we were redecorating. He came over, I chose from his samples and said I would get my checkbook. He then turned to my dh, who was at the computer and most obviously didn't care whether I chose to carpet or paint our floors a la Jackson Pollock, and pointedly asked for him to approve my purchase :glare: Yep, see that is the type that I'm so familiar with. I have stories to tell from having been in groups like that (we didn't last long because our marriage doesn't work like that) and from being related to people in those groups that it's a real sore spot with me. Another realtor just called and though he had nothing available, he was very kind and spoke with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 Oh goodness! He called back! Here's my online review: The realtor that returned my husband's call was EXTREMELY rude. When I informed him that my husband was sleeping, that I was the wife, and that he could speak to me. He said thank you and hung up. I left a message asking that they call back. When I asked him about it, he insisted that I was "beating around the bush" like I "had something to hide". No, his number showed up as private and I had asked that he identify himself. I had hesitated for a moment as to whether I would wake my husband or not, but even that should not have elicited THAT sort of reaction out of him. When I explained about wanting to know who was calling, he got even ruder with a now that I know did I want to discuss renting or not and where was I looking...in about as mocking of a tone as one could get, simply nasty. I finally told him to never mind, that I would inform my husband of his rudeness, and that we would not be using him. He got even more mocking at that and I hung up. This realtor either has a chip on his shoulder or is gender biased, I'm not certain which. Realtors are generally "people persons" and very kind, something that my husband and I both are as well. This man is neither. It was a very upsetting exchange and we will never use this company. Needless to say, my husband is now awake and he's ticked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I don't know where you live; however, when we sought a rental house, we just looked in the newspaper. Why would you need a realtor ? Sounds like a true toad you dealt with. Goodness ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 13, 2010 Author Share Posted May 13, 2010 I don't know where you live; however, when we sought a rental house, we just looked in the newspaper. Why would you need a realtor ? Sounds like a true toad you dealt with. Goodness ! Because a lot of rentals are owned or handled by realtors. I'm waiting for the For Rent signs to start showing up, but it's considered "early in the season" right now. I just want to move back out into the county a bit...stay near the city, but I need my elbow room! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Well, our current realtor has not ever treated me that way. If anything he talks to me much more than dh because I am the one most available. However, just before we began all this, another realtor was working with my dh some. One day he was looking or dh and called me. After about 6 "babe" and "darlin" and 'sweetie pie' uses instead of my name, I told dh that I was quite offended. Dh never worked with him again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bairnmama Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 I'm sorry you're having this issue. Thankfully I haven't encountered quite the same thing in my adult life, but the bank in the town I grew up in used to drive my mom CRAZY. My parents had a joint account with an "or" between their names, but Mom couldn't just go and withdraw money without my dad's signature. She could deposit money and write checks, but not go in and withdraw from either savings or checking. That was just weird... and it was still that way in the late 80s before they moved to another town! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 13, 2010 Share Posted May 13, 2010 Whether he thought you were hesitant or not, a professional realtor should be able to express himself in a professional manner. If he needed to talk to your husband because that was the person who had left them message then he could have said, "It is our policy to get back directly to the person who left a message. Could you have him call me at xxx-xxxx?" There is absolutely no excuse for his behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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