KinderSafari Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 We have done chore lists for years. And we hand out chores when the kids misbehave. It never seems to be "fair". I'm so tired of hearing about how unfair all the chores are! (And yes complaints about things not being fair earns them another chore!) NEW PLAN: SOOOO, this last week we started something new. We have "Chore time." All five kids know how to clean everything in the house (they've had that many chores over the last 15 years!), so our new idea is that they have to clean for 1/2 an hour a day after their schoolwork is completed. Anything they want to. Anything they notice needs to be done. They walk around the house and see what needs to be done and just do it. It has worked GREAT! Okay, we've only done it for a week, but the house has been cleaner and I haven't had to create lists or check charts or anything! No work on my part! The younger kids have 15 minutes a day. And they also each have 1/2 an hour a day of "time with your siblings". This has reduced a lot of squabbling as well! They now SEEK each other out and ask to play with each other. They also need to be kind, because if no one wants to play with them they will have to do another 1/2 hour of cleaning instead. :) Anyway, it's been working great! Hope I can report back in six months that this is still our plan because it's easy and the house is truly cleaner and there's been less fighting. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micandme Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Sounds GREAT!!! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 BTW, I found a free, easy chore chart generator at: http://dltk-cards.com/chart/chart7.asp Took me less than 2 minutes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 Welcome to life beyond chore charts! :D We use a similar method, except without a set time. Certain dc have total responsibility for certain areas (they choose when to do the work and involve others as needed,) and we have a "you see it dirty or dirty it, you clean it or pick it up" rule. Those two things have completely eliminated the need for charts, incentives, etc. It is a more organic system, and it elminates any need for strife and encourages cooperation. There is no, "That's not my chore today." Instead, there is, "You're busy, let me get that for you." :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5parkers Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 What a great idea! I think they are always motivated alittle more when they have some decision making in the process! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sue G in PA Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 We have tried so many things around here. I wonder if this would work? I'm tired of hearing..."it's not my job!". I have thought about Zones and assigning "teams" for each zone. Then I wondered if we need more structure. Not sure. Thanks for posting...gives me some food for thought! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 This sounds great but I don't think I could get it to work around here. I have a motivated child and one who is...um...less motivated. Motivated child would end up doing all the work while less motivated child would go potty 5 or 6 times :glare:. I do love the idea though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntPol Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 This sounds great but I don't think I could get it to work around here. I have a motivated child and one who is...um...less motivated. Motivated child would end up doing all the work while less motivated child would go potty 5 or 6 times :glare:. I do love the idea though. Yep. I have tried this method. However, I have one child who cleans (complains the whole time but does it so she can move on) and another who will just walk around the room during cleaning time. He may pick up 1 thing to her 20 things and most of the mess is his to begin with. This leads to more bickering........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 28, 2010 Share Posted April 28, 2010 I changed things around this week too. When we have chore charts, each kid is focused on not doing one crumb of work more than is on their chart. So now I just keep a master list and assign jobs. It is working marvelously here too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KinderSafari Posted May 7, 2010 Author Share Posted May 7, 2010 This is still going well for us! I think it probably does work best to keep mixing things up all the time! Chore charts worked well when they were younger. Definitely eliminates that problem of one kid being more responsible than the other. Then I don't care if they take all day to pick up 12 legos. That's their choice to waste their day - so that's definitely a problem with the timing one. For half a year we did a chore basket, and they would have to randomly pull out x number of chores each day. Nope, not fair, just the way it was. I was tired of hearing "not my fault" or whatever, and I wanted them to realize the whole house is all of our responsibilities. After a while they grumble about everything. So either I have to hover over them and stop the complaining (which I do to a point) and then every once in awhile I shake things up completely to throw them off guard. :) Who knows what new idea I may have when the complaints start about this idea down the road. :) I'll probably steal someone's great ideas off of here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynyel Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 This sounds great but I don't think I could get it to work around here. I have a motivated child and one who is...um...less motivated. Motivated child would end up doing all the work while less motivated child would go potty 5 or 6 times :glare:. I do love the idea though. Wow sounds a little like mine! One will do a lot the other lets the other do it! Then the one that does it says it isn't fair. I look at her :001_huh: You didn't have to do it all, you did it anyway...she looks at me :blink: and goes away in a huff. I changed things around this week too. When we have chore charts, each kid is focused on not doing one crumb of work more than is on their chart. ..... Yea thats a problem here too... I get this too... Do the dishes... 15 minutes later... *sigh* When I say do the dishes that also means clean out the sink. Yes they do what I say but *ONLY* what I say! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 We've been moving in that direction too. Chore charts just make everyone around here cranky (except dd, who is a born box checker), including me. This year I ditched the idea of chore charts altogether, and everyone's been pretty cheerful about helping out when asked, but I want to push it one step further and get them to do at least some of what needs doing without me having to ask them to do it. I'm thinking we'll have a family work time each day in our summer schedule, starting in a couple more weeks here, but I need to make a master list for them to pick from because I'm quite certain that nobody here other than me (and possibly dd because in addition to an affinity for boxes to check, she was also born loving mops and brooms and sponges--must be a recessive gene) can tell when something needs to be cleaned. I'm somewhat "spontaneous" when it comes to housework, though, and have a hard time just sitting down and making a list. All of which is to say to those of you who HAVE a master list, I'd love to know what you have on there and how you use it. Do you have daily/weekly/monthly kinds of tasks, or do you just have one big list and check each thing daily to see if it needs doing? Or...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 We've never done chore charts. We have group clean up times also (before lunch, before dinner, before leaving). I also expect my kids to clean whatever I ask them to clean (without complaint). Usually though, I just make a to-do list up on the white board and tell everyone to grab a job or two or three (depending on how many there are). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 That is similar to how we did it for years. It worked really well. We didn't have a set time limit, but we all worked until things were done (doing it at the same time). If the kids couldn't figure what to do, they were to ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naturalmama2 Posted May 7, 2010 Share Posted May 7, 2010 Sounds great! I am going to try that with my crew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KinderSafari Posted May 8, 2010 Author Share Posted May 8, 2010 Doing things WITH someone else has been something we purposely added recently. My kids are so independent and do ONLY what THEIR responsibility is. So while it was easier to assign each one a specific task, with our "timed chores" - they can work together to fold the laundry and put it away, or work together to clean up the dishes. It has helped things all around. We also added a "must play with a sibling" for 1/2 an hour a day rule. Seems silly, but they were getting more and more annoyed with each other and each sticking to themselves and hyper critical of the others (too childish, or whatever). Now they SEARCH each other out because that's part of their "daily tasks" and try to play what the other one wants to play, because the kids have the option to say "no thanks, I don't want to play". If they can't find anyone willing to play with them, they have another 1/2 hour of household chores to do. (Do I just sound crazy? :) ) The explanation of that to the kids is that YOU NEED TO BE NICE! If no one wants to play with you, you're probably being a little too bossy or something. The first week was torture for two of my kids because no one did want to play with them and they ended up doing more chores. FINALLY they got the point and have started coming out of their own little worlds of selfishness. Whew! There's probably something totally wrong with all that logic - just bad parenting on our part probably for the last 15 years to get them to that selfish level, and this method is probably totally wrong, but it's been working for us. :) Why are there only 1000 books on parenting? It's certainly not enough. There should be one for each child in the world. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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