momofkhm Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 I know they want their space and all. I really do like that part - that they stay at a hotel. I also completely understand that they want to check in a settle in before they go back for bed. I don't mind at all that they are there for hours. But is it too much to ask that they let us know that they will be there for hours? Instead, we have no idea when they will show up at our house so we can't do anything but wait for them. I really don't care what time you will be showing up, just tell me when to expect you! I do this with everyone, not just them. DH goes out for along bike ride. I don't care if he's going to ride for 5 miles or 50. Just tell me how long it's going to take, so I can plan the rest of the day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Can you call them and find out if you are going to hook up today? It is too pretty of a day to sit at home waiting. Hope everything works out for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Just remind them to call you before coming over to make sure that you are actually home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Just remind them to call you before coming over to make sure that you are actually home. This is my vote too. We don't sit around and wait for people. We either set up a time to meet somewhere or have them call before they come. Do they expect you to sit around all day and wait for them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 :iagree: This is my vote too. We don't sit around and wait for people. We either set up a time to meet somewhere or have them call before they come. Do they expect you to sit around all day and wait for them? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Agree with the others. If it were my IL's, I'd just be thanking my lucky stars they were staying at a hotel. Just sayin.' ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted April 24, 2010 Author Share Posted April 24, 2010 Their visiting from out of town so it's not a call and see if someone's home thing. I've told them "I don't care what time you are coming but tell me what time to expect you." They blithely leave with nary a word when they will be back. (Today they left from the soccer field.) I just don't get it. And I do thank my lucky stars that they are staying at a hotel! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Their visiting from out of town so it's not a call and see if someone's home thing. I've told them "I don't care what time you are coming but tell me what time to expect you." They blithely leave with nary a word when they will be back. (Today they left from the soccer field.) I just don't get it. And I do thank my lucky stars that they are staying at a hotel! :001_smile: See to me it IS a call and see if someone's home thing even if they are from out of town. If they don't have the courtesy to tell you when they expect to return to your home, then they need to call from said hotel to see if you're actually there before leaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Just remind them to call you before coming over to make sure that you are actually home. :iagree: Cell phones allow freedom to do this. And it kind of sounds like you are wanting to have them tell you their schedule -- but they are on their own in a hotel? That kinda smacks of being a control freak. :confused: I say be flexible. It will all work out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 This is my vote too. We don't sit around and wait for people. We either set up a time to meet somewhere or have them call before they come. Do they expect you to sit around all day and wait for them? :lol::lol::lol: Sorry for finding this funny... just thinking of my ILs or visitors. I sure don't sit around all day for them. I've got things to do. If they happen to knock or visit to discover no one was home... the ball is in their court as they were warned to call before coming over. LOL I'd be like, "Oh. Shucky darn. Did we miss you??" ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 It might make more sense to tell them *your* schedule. "We need to go to the store and the library sometime today. We'll probably head out about 2, if you aren't here." Or, "Tomorrow we have x, y, and z, so please call and see if we're done before you head on over." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 :iagree: Cell phones allow freedom to do this. And it kind of sounds like you are wanting to have them tell you their schedule -- but they are on their own in a hotel? That kinda smacks of being a control freak. :confused: I say be flexible. It will all work out. Perhaps that's what they think, or they don't think at all, but knowing how many places to set and how much food to cook for lunch isn't "a control freak", it is being a hostess. Hostesses deserve politeness. I, too, hate sitting and waiting, and tend to get involved in things if I don't have anything looming right away. If they don't mind half the grandkids gone, no lunch, and a vacuum running for the first 15 minutes of their stay, fine, I suppose. If they feel like "comin' on over" whenever they feel like it, I'd get on with life and not bend over to make the visit perfect or productive. Smile angelically, let your hubby deal with his parents, and just get on with your busy self. If they act huffy about the lax arrangement, I would honestly say "well, we didn't know when you were coming. Just let us know next time" and repeat as needed. My favorite is the houseguest who sleeps in til noon, lets you take care of the kids so she can sleep in, and then, once up, has a leisurely shower and puts on full makeup, while the kids are starved and crabby and everyone else is dressed by the door, ready to go to the restaurant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted April 24, 2010 Share Posted April 24, 2010 Who's being the control freak here? I think your in-laws are more likely to receive this award than you. They are taking no care to inform you as to their schedule and you sit around waiting for them. You are the one being controlled. I would for sure go about my business and if they happen to show up and you are home, they got lucky. I would be all nice and as one person said, all "shucky darn". Be sure and let them know they would have been welcome to go with you if you went out to do something and they missed you. It sounds like this may be a family of origin habit, and maybe they really don't realize it's rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfatherslily Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 lol:) Yeah, that's my own parents! They'll drive 18 hours to see us, then stop an hour away to eat dinner before they get here! They've never stayed at my house in the 9 years since I moved away. I'd be glad for them to stay, but it doesn't bother me that they don't (as you said, too). But YES, when I'm anxiously counting down the minutes until they get here, waiting and waiting during their 2-day drive, then they stop for supper first? Or when they don't wander over to our house for 2 hours after they get up in the morning (staying in a guest house nearby, where there's no breakfast)? Makes me crazy:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 It might make more sense to tell them *your* schedule. "We need to go to the store and the library sometime today. We'll probably head out about 2, if you aren't here." Or, "Tomorrow we have x, y, and z, so please call and see if we're done before you head on over." Very good suggestion! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 You asked them to let you know, they didn't so either they don't have a plan or they don't want to share it with you for some reason. You've done all you can do at this point. Try not to let them bug you -- go about your business and let your husband deal with them, they are his parents so he probably knows how to communicate with them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted April 25, 2010 Share Posted April 25, 2010 I sure don't sit around all day for them. I've got things to do. If they happen to knock or visit to discover no one was home... the ball is in their court as they were warned to call before coming over. LOL I'd be like, "Oh. Shucky darn. Did we miss you??" ;) Actually, I'd probably try on purpose to do this...and then they'd get the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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