Wedding Invitation Question

[cjzimmer1]

We received an invitation to a wedding for my husband's cousin. It's addressed to my husband (his name only)and family. The response card includes 2 blanks for guest name(s) and then a space labeled Adult Entrees (and selection choices)

 

I'm completely clueless about the etiquette of these things and we are trying to determine if the kids are invited or not. I always assumed that "and family" includes everyone but since there is no places to list the number of people attending. I wasn't sure. Does Adult entrees mean only adults invited or adults can pick these choices and more kid appealing fare is automatically served to children. Cousin knows we have 5 kids so she would know the family count but we have drifted apart over the years so I wouldn't feel comfortable calling her and asking. I wouldn't want her to feel put on the spot about me asking. Our kids have been to all the weddings of her other relatives (her sister, her mom, and her grandfather)

 

For what it's worth if the kids aren't invited we won't be attending as we have NO childcare options.

 

So how would you interpret this invitation? Kids or not.

[Stacia]

I would assume they mean you (2 adults) + the kids. If they just wanted the adults, I would think they would have put both your names (& not 'family'). When you respond, I'd be sure to mark some way that your children will be along w/ you -- something like filling in your entrees & then writing below that '+ 3 children'....

 

I would guess the adults get to choose their own entree & the kids will get pre-selected, kid-friendly food.

 

Is there another relative you could call who would know if kids were invited to the wedding or not? (Maybe your aunt/uncle?)

[Julie in CA]

If it's someone I'm close enough to that I'd want to go to their wedding, then I'd call and ask. If it's someone I'm uncomfortable even calling on the phone, then I wouldn't go to the wedding at all. :001_huh:

 

ETA: I'm with you though, that the wording/format of the invitation is a little ambiguous.

Edited April 19, 2010 by Julie in CA

[MariannNOVA]

I would have to agree that all of you are invited -- perhaps the individual didn't know the names of all your children and went with '& family' instead.

 

If you are still unsure, there must be someone you can call to clarify.

 

As for the meals.....we were invited to a wedding just recently - we were asked to make meal selections and we indicated for all five of us (we did know for certain that the kids were invited). We did include a phone number and email address on the response card -- which was good b/c the bride called when she received the card and said she would email us the dinner choices for children as they were selecting from a different menu. In your case, this would be the bride's opportunity to let you know if the invite was just for you and your dh or for your entire family.

 

It's getting so that invitations are going to have be sent in parcel boxes if the amount of paper with them continues to increase.

[momofkhm]

I would say you were all invited as well - you, dh and all the kids. I would think that you and dh have menu choices but the kids are eating a preselected item.

 

We went to a wedding a few years ago where that was the case. The adults had a choice of chicken or beef and the kids had chicken nuggets or strips (I can't remember which).

[asta]

We received an invitation to a wedding for my husband's cousin. It's addressed to my husband (his name only)and family. The response card includes 2 blanks for guest name(s) and then a space labeled Adult Entrees (and selection choices)

 

I'm completely clueless about the etiquette of these things and we are trying to determine if the kids are invited or not. I always assumed that "and family" includes everyone but since there is no places to list the number of people attending. I wasn't sure. Does Adult entrees mean only adults invited or adults can pick these choices and more kid appealing fare is automatically served to children. Cousin knows we have 5 kids so she would know the family count but we have drifted apart over the years so I wouldn't feel comfortable calling her and asking. I wouldn't want her to feel put on the spot about me asking. Our kids have been to all the weddings of her other relatives (her sister, her mom, and her grandfather)

 

For what it's worth if the kids aren't invited we won't be attending as we have NO childcare options.

 

So how would you interpret this invitation? Kids or not.

 

I hate to say this, but I would interpret this as someone writing an invitation to a family member plus his wife, whose name the writer has forgotten - hence the inclusion of only two blanks on the response card and the listing of "Adult Entrees".

 

Many young couples are choosing to have "kid free" weddings nowadays for various reasons, one of which is cost, as caterers charge per head, not per adult head, and many couples simply can't shoulder the cost.

 

 

(In my personal opinion, I don't know why so many couples still go for the "ballroom brou ha ha" reception thing that costs so much, when all you really "need" is family, something yummy to eat (who cares who made it!), and some tunes.)

 

 

a

[chiguirre]

I think you can assume the kids are invited. If they meant just your dh and you, they could have addressed it to Mr. and Mrs. XXXXXX, not 'and Family'.

 

I think it would be best if you swallow your embarassment and call, if you want to attend. If not, just send your regrets and best wishes.

[Crimson Wife]

The weddings to which only DH and I have been invited have been addressed to Mr. & Mrs. The wedding to which the kids have been invited as well have been addressed to one or both of us "and family". All of those have had separate kids' menus.

 

I would have your DH call his aunt to clarify.