Having Trouble Engaging My Son In Our Studies!!

[Nancy Ann]

My son is a second grader. I have tried several different methods with him. WTM, Sonlight, FIAR, and other odds and ends. It seems like it doesn't really matter what I do, he just doesn't seem to really love school, look forward to much or show much of an interest in what we are doing. Last year we did Sonlight, he just didn't seem engaged, he didn't put up a fight with school but I didn't see any sparks. So I felt for this year I needed to try something that would be more flexible and we could choose books and subjects that would be interesting to him. So for this year we have been doing Five In A Row. It's a great curriculum and we have explored a variety of topics but he just doesn't seem excited or all that interested.

 

I guess I just hear so many homeschoolers and read on their blogs about kids just really interested in learning and reading and I am wondering what I am doing wrong. I have created a great learning enviornment with lots of books and reading, we go to the library regularly and always have about 15 books out at a time. TV and Video games are on time limits.

 

My husband says he was not interested in reading until about 5th grade. My son also is a very curious kids and asks tons and tons of questions. So he is interested in things but he still can't wait for school to be done. Even if we are studying something interesting to him, he looks forward to when we are done.

 

I just put soooo much time and energy into planning our school and I feel like it's just not worth the effort. I am wondering if I should just do the basics. The three R's, than read from Apologia science books(which he likes) and trying to find a history/geography like STOW or Mystery of History. Just do these basics and than do interest based learning the rest of the time. My husband says our son should keep a 3 ring binder that he can write down all his questions he has and things he wants to learn about and investigate.

 

I figure we could do our lessons in the morning and have the afternoons be up to him to what he wants to do or learn about or play. School just seems to be school to him and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to make it fun and better for him. So I feel like the only thing left is to make sure he get's the education he needs and allow him to explore what he wants the rest of the time.

 

Does this sound okay?

Anyone have similar problems?

[PeterPan]

Are you sure you aren't trying too hard? A 7 yo is only 1st grade this year, maybe 2nd, right? So if he's in 1st grade, his schoolwork should take 1-2 hours a day, and that INCLUDES reading. How much can you hate in 1 hour a day???

 

My dh was one of those boys who had tons of questions, and now he's an engineer. I'd get your ds science or construction kits, books about how things work and the why's (David MacCaulley, that type thing). My dh still has some of his from when he was a kid. Your ds is old enough for Snap Circuits.

 

You need to take advantage of this time when he has less formal academics and let him EXPLORE and pursue his interests. Your job in schooling at this point is NOT to do formal academics. You need to do a few basics, but after that your focus is to give him access to the things he likes and get out of the way. Try Snap Circuits and see what happens. Go to Rainbow Resource and search for their catapult kit. I just did that with my dd, and it's a TON of fun. VP sells some very boy-friendly books about dangerous stuff boys like to do. Mythbusters has great science kits (at ToysRUs, of all places, lol). With my dd it was art, and she did art for hours every day. With your ds it's obviously something else. Don't feel so compelled to do so much formal school. Give him time and materials to pursue cool stuff himself and develop his hobbies and interests. You'll have plenty of time for formal school later, when you really have to! :)

[Wildiris]

Coming in right on the heals of OhElizbeth, Go with what he is interested in, but in addition to this--gasp---it might be you. I say this because I find it is always me that creates this kind of response from my seven-year-old.

 

If I am Super enthusiastic, have that can do attitude in the face of their back-peddling, I can win over the seven-year-old naysayer. For example, DD did not want to play piano today. She drug her feet to the bench then proceeded to bang. I dislike banging with a passion, but I held my tongue and began. When we came to a piece she didn't want to work on, I just played around with it to show her how easy the pattern was to find. I wore down her resistance. I do this more than I would like, but this seems to be the only way I can get through to this little one.

 

There are other homeschoolers that make one feel small or less than because their child excels, is engaged, and is everything our child does not appear to be. I know it is hard, but resist comparisons; resist competitive homeschooling!

 

Take your husbands idea of the 3 ring binder and run with it!!! This is a fantastic idea--maybe husband will help too?!

 

If it is any consolation, I have 14 years of planning that I used very little of. I like planning, but I learned to let go when my efforts were in fact wasted. I took what I often referred to as my wasted effort of planning and turned those efforts into a means for me to figure things out. It is a matter of perception; A pardigm shift and my planning became productive.

 

Good Luck,

Iris

 

 

[EppieJ]

 

Take your husbands idea of the 3 ring binder and run with it!!! This is a fantastic idea--maybe husband will help too?!

 

[/size]

:iagree: Love the notebook idea! Have him write/dictate his questions and then add pages to the notebook as he discovers the answers. Answers could be written, drawn, diagrammed, collaged....be creative. Suddenly, you're "notebooking" and ds will have a great book of "look what I learned" to look at over and over. :D

 

Also, each year, at the beginning of the school year I ask ds what he wants to learn about that year. I try to incorporate that interest during the year. For example, one year he wanted to know how stuffed animals are made, so I got him a kit and he sewed his own Teddy Bear ('course, it took nearly two years before he completed it - interests can be fickle :lol:)

 

You might also check into what kind of learning style he has. A good book to read for some ideas is "The Way They Learn" by Cynthia Tobias.

 

Incorporating more hands-on stuff is generally a good idea for this age. If ds is artsy/craftsy you could try something like History Pockets or Literature Pockets http://www.evan-moor.com/Search/Default.aspx?Search=pockets&WT.oss=pockets

 

He might also enjoy lapbooks or notebooking. You can find examples/ideas for some of these on http://www.currclick.com/

 

Unit studies could be a good thing for him as well. Find out what topic he's interested in and incorporate read-alouds, copywork (or what ever LA), science, history, art - all related to that topic. Just be sure you don't overdo it. You don't want to kill the joy! :)

 

And, like pp's said, he is just 2nd grade. No need to push too much. Some fun books to have on hand: Scribble Cookies, Mudworks, Kids Create!

 

HTH!

[jld]

My ds7 does not do schoolwork. It's okay!

 

My dd14 didn't do any before 11 1/2, and now it's all she wants to do, lol. Even ds11 is just mostly reading. Dh says not to worry, that boys mature later than girls, and they will be fine.

 

Just relax and enjoy his interests!:)

[Sue G in PA]

Okay...LOVE the notebook idea. Thank your dh for me...I think I am going to use this for ds8 and ds7. My ds7 is not interested in "school" either. He'd rather be outside, play with Legos, help my neighbor build (he taught ds how to use a saw, drill and measure!), cook, play games on computer, ride his bike, dig in the dirt, be read to, draw, etc. He's 7. And he is a boy! I just don't think some boys are ready for 'formal' anything until they are older. Even FIAR! I say that b/c we have used it and liked it but only b/c he LOVES to be read to. He could care less about the other activities!

 

But, go with the notebook idea! That is really a good idea!

[mom31257]

:lurk5: Love the notebook idea!

[JudoMom]

My boys have a love of learning, but it just doesn't always correspond to what they need to learn during school. For me this is good enough. There are days we finish formal schooling and they boys grab a science kit to do in their spare time. One son reads visual basic books and another studies books on the human body. Another knows more about Greek mythology, Ancient Egypt, and Lord of the Rings than I do. One of my goals with homeschooling is that my boys would learn how to learn, and I'm seeing that happen.

 

This year is the first year that my oldest has viewed school as something other than to be endured. His mind has matured, and he realizes that the skills and content he's been learning and the things he will learn will help him achieve what he wants to achieve. His new Saxon book came in this week, and he said "I can't wait to start Pre-Algebra" :001_huh:, and earlier this week he argued with a 14 year old friend who didn't understand why I would teach my guys a dead language. My son told him Latin Prep was the best Latin ever, and it's fun, and it's helping him with Spanish.

 

All this to say--teach your son what he must know. Aim for doing it in the least painful way for both of you. We've never done projects or a lot of hands on stuff because my boys view these things as impediments to getting school done and getting on to what they want to learn/do. Realize your son may never love formal school, and allow him plenty of free time to discover what he does love. Feed his interests and his passions, and he will continue to have a love of learning.

Edited April 15, 2010 by JudoMom

[sagira]

Very interesting thread. My ds was telling me too, that he didn't enjoy school too much. He's 6, and I'm trying to incorporate more games and learning math by baking (which he enjoys), rather than a mountain of worksheets. I'm slowly starting to get it and come to terms with it, as when I grew up at his age I was all day almost in school learning pretty rigorous stuff, including being taught in a new language. It's hard to relax without feeling behind what all the public schools attempt to do.

 

I hear ya.

:grouphug:

[JenAL]

My ds6 (will be 7 in a few weeks) sounds like this. He detests school. He is just now making great progress with reading, but he still hates to read. He likes math, but hates doing math "schoolwork". He is a very active boy & if he were in ps, I am sure they would be quick to label him. Ds is very smart & very inquizitive; however, if he's not interested in doing it, he won't do it. Period.

 

As a result, I only require my ds to do math & phonics/reading each day. Any science or history he gets from reading books or watching a show like "Life". BTW, he sat perfectly still & quiet through all of the "Life" shows. I was amazed! I'm actively trying to find readers on his level about science as a result. I also ordered him some Nate the Great books that he requested. (His name is Nathan, we call him Nate...I guess he imagines the books are about him).

[Nancy Ann]

This has all been SOOOOO helpful and encouraging. Thanks so very much!!:grouphug:

[Hockey Mom]

:grouphug:

 

Mine are the same way (7y/o & 6y/o) on most days. Like someone else said, sometimes you have to 'act' your way through the day to get them on board. There have been many days when I force myself to be overly-enthusiastic about something, just to get their attention. Nine times out of ten, they buy it.

 

My boys love arts/crafts, and we have done a few lapbooks this year that zero in on what they're interested in. It has done wonders for their learning. I love the notebook idea too! I may have to swipe that one. :)

 

Just know, that you are not alone, and I really think some of it has to do with the age. Mine would play Legos/Playmobil all day long if I didn't push them to do school.

[Guest]

:iagree:

Are you sure you aren't trying too hard? A 7 yo is only 1st grade this year, maybe 2nd, right? So if he's in 1st grade, his schoolwork should take 1-2 hours a day, and that INCLUDES reading. How much can you hate in 1 hour a day???

 

My dh was one of those boys who had tons of questions, and now he's an engineer. I'd get your ds science or construction kits, books about how things work and the why's (David MacCaulley, that type thing). My dh still has some of his from when he was a kid. Your ds is old enough for Snap Circuits.

 

You need to take advantage of this time when he has less formal academics and let him EXPLORE and pursue his interests. Your job in schooling at this point is NOT to do formal academics. You need to do a few basics, but after that your focus is to give him access to the things he likes and get out of the way. Try Snap Circuits and see what happens. Go to Rainbow Resource and search for their catapult kit. I just did that with my dd, and it's a TON of fun. VP sells some very boy-friendly books about dangerous stuff boys like to do. Mythbusters has great science kits (at ToysRUs, of all places, lol). With my dd it was art, and she did art for hours every day. With your ds it's obviously something else. Don't feel so compelled to do so much formal school. Give him time and materials to pursue cool stuff himself and develop his hobbies and interests. You'll have plenty of time for formal school later, when you really have to! :)

 

:iagree:

 

You might also consider approaching "have-to" subjects through games and activities rather than seatwork; at least mix it up a bit. Peggy Kaye's books Games for Math and Games for Learning -- plus two more on reading and writing -- are wonderful for turning skill drill into creative and often active exercises; math in particular has lots of opportunities for moving around. There are great math games, too: RushHour, RiverCrossing, checkers, all these kinds of things develop spatial thinking that is crucial for higher math and geometrical thinking.

[EppieJ]

:grouphug:

Just know, that you are not alone, and I really think some of it has to do with the age. Mine would play Legos/Playmobil all day long if I didn't push them to do school.

 

 

Had to laugh! :lol: My 9.5 yo would still be playing with Legos all day if I didn't make him come out for school! Except for workshop days. He loves going to classes with his friends.