I trust the Lord will teach my children...

[michaeljenn]

If I hear this again.... I will scream! First off, my intention is not to open a can of worms here... really :lol: But, I have friends who are much more relaxed in the educating of their children than I am. Their main arguement is that the Lord knows what they need to know/learn and He will teach them. Well, I am a devoted follower of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, but I also believe he have put these children in my care to "train up in the way he should go".... So, it is my responsibility to teach them! For example, I have another homeschool family that lives next door to me... and her 13yo daughter is working on her 2's multiplication tables. She asked my husband and me if we were planning on our children going to college, and we said yes, if they choose to. She just thought that was crazy... especially for my girls, who should stay home until they get married and learn to be a wife. Um... my girls want to be stay at home homeschool moms... but, I also believe they should go to college and prepare for their future. I don't know when the Lord will bring their spouse. Anyway, I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has experienced this!

 

They also just don't see the point of teaching grammar/higher level maths, ect.. Well, the way I see it... is even if my girls do stay home to teach their children, they will STILL need these skills.. SIGH

 

Sorry for the rant.. but I have to admit that they made me feel a little guilty for "shoving academics" down their throats...

 

running now:auto:

[Plaid Dad]

I struggle with letting go of the expectation that people will see the world as I do. It is hard to see the "is" of someone else's life and not read in an "ought" where none necessarily exists.

 

Just because they don't teach X,Y, or Z (the "is") does not imply that you have to follow suit (the "ought"). All we can do is have the courage of our convictions and show charity to those whose convictions differ. As my mother used to say, "Bless them if they do, and bless them if they don't."

[Sue G in PA]

yet! God has entrusted them to our care to do as you say, "train them in the way they should go". I heard an awesome "take" on this one day and the speaker said that this verse meant to train them in the direction of their "bent" or rather their talents/abilities/gifts. KWIM? For example...I see such musical/artistic talent in my ds9. I feel it is my duty as his parent to make sure he utilizes that talent and develops it...you never know how God will use it! That isn't to say that we slack on other disciplines. I want my children to be "well-rounded" b/c as I said...you just never know how God will use them in the future! I pray about our curriculum choices, about how to teach the dc, about how to parent, ask God to show me their talents/abilities and give me wisdom to know how best to develop them. So, yes, God will teach my children...through me!

 

AS for my girls, I do hope they will want to have children and be a SAHM who homeschools. BUT, I'm not pushing them in that direction nor am I assuming that's what they will choose or what GOD will choose for them! Perhaps He will use them on the missions field, perhaps he will use them as doctors or nurses or pastors or youth leaders or teachers. Who am I to stand in the way or assume what God wants for them? Just my .02.

[klmama]

I know a lot of homeschoolers, and while some are much more relaxed than I could be, they still keep traditional academic standards. Their kids may have learning disabilities that prevent them from learning certain things at the "expected" ages, but it isn't for lack of effort on the part of the parents.

 

Even those who raise their girls to be homeschooling mothers and don't care if they go to college or not still teach them enough to be prepared for college. They may homeschool their own children, who will want to go to college, and so they need the knowledge to do so. They may decide on their own that they do want to go to college. They may need to provide for themselves for 10 years before marriage, if they ever do marry.

 

I wonder if your friends are college-educated themselves. It seems that might make a difference in their attitudes. I do know some homeschoolers who didn't attend college, but they married very young and had kids right away. Most have degrees and worked a number of years in their professional fields before marrying and having kids. I can't imagine the former engineers and attorneys I know telling their girls they don't have to go to college!

 

I think you and your friends must just agree to disagree. Learn to "pass the bean dip" if necessary. And, most of all, remember that God gave your kids to you for a reason. His plan for them included having a mom who valued their education. :)

[Tracey in TX]

That is an example of why so many people doubt the validity of homeschool. Either train up your child or send them to someone who will do so. We're given the opportunity to teach our children in a way we see fit, but should be, at a minimum, what a public school expects. I don't see public education as evil; it's designed to meet the needs of the average student. When a school doesn't meet the needs of any given student, a new choice should be offered. On the flip side, when a homeschool environment doesn't offer a reasonable academic options, that child must be placed in another school.

 

The goal is to teach our children to be brighter and have more opportunities than our generation. We shouldn't withhold a child's future by under-educating him/her. My children WILL go to university. It isn't an option. (Hopefully my girls--or boys-will someday be SAHM/Ds, but need to work and make money to do so, first.)

 

IHO it's ok discuss academic expectations. Every mentally able 13y/o should know multiplication tables. Your friend is doing her children a great injustice

[Faithr]

This reminds of that old joke, where there's a flood and a guy is sitting up on his roof praying to be saved. So another guy comes by in a rowboat and says get in! And the guy says, no I'm waiting for the Lord. Then another rescue team comes by, but the guy refuses to leave his roof. Finally a helicopter hovers over him but he refuses and keeps on praying! Well, he finally drowns and goes to heaven. He says to the Lord, Lord, why didn't you save me? I put my trust in you. And the Lord replies, What do you mean? I sent two boats and a helicopter!

 

Truly, I know responsible unschoolers and they don't teach their kids in a conventional way but they do teach their kids. They play math games and do math projects to teach math. They read aloud a lot, participate in all kinds activities and learning experiences. They are proactive in surrounding their kids with education. To borrow that phrase from Thomas Jefferson Ed.: They inspire but don't require. And the kids soak it up like a sponge. So if a 13 year old is still struggling with 2x tables, I think either they've been kept in a closet and never even learned the old 2,4,6, 8 chant or there's some kind of learning disability.

 

I would just pray for them (and maybe lend them a skip counting tape).

[Natalieclare]

I struggle with letting go of the expectation that people will see the world as I do. It is hard to see the "is" of someone else's life and not read in an "ought" where none necessarily exists.

 

Just because they don't teach X,Y, or Z (the "is") does not imply that you have to follow suit (the "ought"). All we can do is have the courage of our convictions and show charity to those whose convictions differ. As my mother used to say, "Bless them if they do, and bless them if they don't."

 

:iagree: I'm in the Plaid Dad sheeple flock! How nicely you put this---baaa!

 

My 3 closest friends all homeschool in a manner very different from me. When all our oldest kids were much younger, I couldn't imagine schooling (or not) my kids the way they did. In fact, I thought they were nuts. :D But I have a lot of trust that different paths are ok for different people and I respected their right to listen for the Holy Spirit. And I asked them to respect that right for me!

 

Now that our kids are in their teens, I am really impressed with how everyone is doing. The paths that look desirable to each of us are still different, but ultimately, everyone is OK, doing just fine.

[RebeccaC]

They also just don't see the point of teaching grammar/higher level maths, ect.. Well, the way I see it... is even if my girls do stay home to teach their children, they will STILL need these skills.. SIGH

 

 

 

My college education has helped me teach my kids but more importantly it has helped me face life. I took pre-med courses for a couple of reasons, one I thought I would work my way through grad school as a nurse and two the biggest reason was I wanted to be a physical anthropologist and it was needed for grad school. I never used the pre-med classes for what I thought I would but they came in very handy when my sons were being diagnosed with LKSv. I understood better than most parents how the body worked, I was familiar with the drugs being offered, and I could read a medical study. Being able to read a medical study was of immeasurable help when ruling in or out medical treatments and therapies.

 

Even if a girl does nothing but raise her family a college education is not a waste. No one can see what her future holds or how a college education will benefit that future. So I say rant away your on the right side of the line on this one :iagree:

[Plaid Dad]

Don't get me wrong: I don't believe that all types of education are equal. I most certainly do not believe that higher education should be closed to girls on principle :thumbdown: or that having a college education and being a SAHM are mutually exclusive propositions. What if God calls a girl to a single life? I know some families believe that the father should care for a single daughter indefinitely, but for some, that would not be desirable or even possible long-term.

 

I was speaking to the emotional content of the post - whether we need to fret overmuch about other people's decisions or question our own.

 

I am currently watching a family near us tie themselves in knots over preschool choices. They know we homeschool, and over the years I think they've laid aside most of their prejudices against it. They have also come to see that, in our area, it would be very easy for them to homeschool and still have lots of social and academic opportunities. (They are not Christians, but then again, neither are most homeschoolers around here.) But for whatever reason, they still are not seriously considering homeschooling. Even if they did, I have no doubt that their homeschool would be very, very different from ours. They couldn't care less about academics, although their son is very bright; they are focused on "emotional intelligence," social skills, and fostering confidence in their gentle, timid little guy.

 

I've learned to sit on my hands when I see blog posts from his mom about their preschool woes. If he were my kid, I would be homeschooling him already. He would be learning to read. But he's not my kid. God placed him in the care of his parents. And the fact is that they know him far, far better than I ever will. That's as it should be. I don't need to feel guilty or "pushy" because I taught my dd to read at his age, and they don't need to feel guilty or neglectful because they're not teaching their ds the same thing.

 

So, yes, I would worry about a 13yo who hadn't mastered multiplication, and I find the pie-in-the-sky attitude frustrating as all get out. I'm a firm believer that "love the Lord with... all your mind" precludes any form of anti-intellectualism. But after putting my ideas and suggestions out there in as respectful a way as possible, I'd resign myself to the fact that parents will exercise their authority as they see fit, regardless of what I think about it.

[Karenciavo]

Sorry for the rant.. but I have to admit that they made me feel a little guilty for "shoving academics" down their throats...

 

Hmm, wow, I can't imagine why you would feel guilty. You obviously do not think it is reasonable for a 13 yo to only be working on the 2 times table so why do you allow guilt to creep in silly?

[Colleen in NS]

I've heard people say these types of things over the years, too, and I used to think more along these lines as well. However, over the past three or four years, I've determined that I want to give my kids as many **skills** as possible, as early as reasonably can be done. This is so that, no matter what they do, they will have more tools under their belts to use in their adult life, for whatever God has for them to do. Dh and I both feel that math, grammar, writing, reading, Latin, logic, rhetoric, financial management, relationships, and household management skills (to name a few) will be very useful to them. And of course, they will learn the content stuff as they practice these skills, so they will learn to think clearly in many areas. So, I plow onward with our plans, even if I'm having a doubtful day (I had one last week, due to a good friend telling me she could never homeschool, but I decided to put my insecurity behind me.) :)

[OnTheBrink]

The only time I've ever heard that said, it came from my ex-step-SIL, who was the laziest person I'd ever met. She was in trouble from authorities because she'd not get her lazy backside out of bed to take her kids to school. So, she decided to "homeschool" them. Truth was, she was no more schooling them than I am a nuclear scientist. She was just flat out lazy, irresponsible to ridiculous degrees in many areas, and IMNSHO, really messed her kids up. They WANTED to learn, but were denied it because of her laziness. It really burned me up. Her excuse for everything was that she was waiting on the Lord to do it/provide/send her a sign/drop her an email, whatever. It was a horribly sad situation for the kids.

 

Last I heard, the oldest one did put himself in school when he got older. I don't know the details of how that all worked out. The younger two? I assume they're still at home, doing nothing while she sleeps the days away.

 

Anyway, I wouldn't assume everyone who takes the stance that the Lord will teach their dc is like that; I'm fairly sure this woman is quite the exception, but I do wonder what the thought process is? How, exactly, will the Lord teach math and geography and history and science and writing, etc, to these kids? Does this family explain how this actually happens?

[Tami]

Awww -- I haven't heard that one yet. It would be awfully tempting to retort, "Yes, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother." ;)

 

Don't feel guilty about what you and your dh have decided to do. Go forth boldly and try not to get into the comparison trap. It steals my joy every time I play the comparison game.

[Sugarfoot]

"Bless them if they do, and bless them if they don't." was a favorite of my Grandma's too. Although, hers was more of a "Bless 'em":) Our priest is fond of saying, "The Lord helps those who help themselves," and that fits well here, I think. I trust God to lead us and I rely on his care, but I think that He expects me to do the work, KWIM?