Do you ever find yourself smiling when you browse the K-8 board?

[jld]

I remember how nervous I was when dd turned 6, and we had to register with the state. I see the earnest questions on the K-8 board and I find myself smiling . . . just like the moms with kids in college who look at my questions and find themselves smiling, I'm sure . . .

[Faithr]

I don't know if I'm smiling so much as feeling a need to comfort them in their anxiety. I want to tell them to relax and enjoy their child. It is not fatal that a child not know their addition facts in 2nd grade or that just because you're 4th grader can't consistently identify a linking verb there is some crisis at hand! I want to tell them the most important thing of all is to stay close to their children and to really forge a strong connection of love and respect and all that other stuff will happen one way or another.

 

The years are so fleeting. It is a shame to waste them on unnecessary worry.

[jld]

What a great message, Faithr!:)

[johnandtinagilbert]

I find comfort there :) I feel like I know what I'm doing in elementary school....its this whole high school stuff that is churning my stomach. :001_huh:

 

But I am making progress :) I at least have the beginnings of a plan!

[Mommyfaithe]

I don't know if I'm smiling so much as feeling a need to comfort them in their anxiety. I want to tell them to relax and enjoy their child. It is not fatal that a child not know their addition facts in 2nd grade or that just because you're 4th grader can't consistently identify a linking verb there is some crisis at hand! I want to tell them the most important thing of all is to stay close to their children and to really forge a strong connection of love and respect and all that other stuff will happen one way or another.

 

The years are so fleeting. It is a shame to waste them on unnecessary worry.

 

:iagree:

 

I'd like to tell them there is no prize for finishing first. Homeschooling is not a sprint , but an endurance challenge that should be labored over but also enjoyed immensly. You said this so well, Faith.

 

~~Faithe

[Chris in VA]

:iagree: Faithr.

 

I can't believe how fast it flies--

[MomsintheGarden]

I only look at that board once in a while, because I am amazed at how much there is available! I don't even know what all the acronyms mean. Frankly, it overwhelms me.

 

I DO feel comfortable with teaching my younger children now. I also remember what it was like to see the schoolbus pass by when I began homeschooling my oldest (now almost 20 and a sophomore in college), so I totally emphasize with the parents on there. But I find myself having the urge to stick my fingers in my ears and say "la la la" whenever I see a new writing or math program.

 

GardenMom

[TravelingChris]

I was thinking about that board recently. I hadn't gone there for quite a while since my youngest is 13 and started 7th grade this year. Well we have basically decided she will be doing 9th next year and so with another one who is an 11th grader, I just look at this board and not that one.

 

I have been getting rid of scores of books. All those Sonlight readers from Core 3 and 4, and many other elementary school materials. I have been doing this for 15 years and the end is nearly in sight. 4 and a half more years. 3 more times after this that I will be buying curriculum. SO strange to think of all this. But I will be ready to retire. I will be 51 and will have been homeschooling for 20 years.

[Dina in Oklahoma]

Hello ~

 

Talk about coinsidence . . . I never look at this board but started thinking about the next phases (DD is 11). My research lead me to this board and I'm so glad it did. It has been such a blessing reading some of these posts --thanks for your wisdom!

 

Dina :001_smile:

[Guest Katia]

I always feel so sorry for the new homeschool moms that think it will be hard to get their dc accepted into college if they homeschool....or that they will need a diploma issued by an accredited school or their child will never be able to get a job. It's just so sad that homeschooling has been pretty mainstream for 20 years now, and that these issues are still a concern (or a perpetuated myth).

 

Colleges want homeschooled children.

 

Colleges accept homemade "mom" diplomas.

 

So do employers.

 

Breathe. Relax and take one year at a time. Tailor to the individual child. The days drag but the years fly. Literally.

[Brindee]

Breathe. Relax and take one year at a time. Tailor to the individual child. The days drag but the years fly. Literally.

:iagree: I really like the way you worded the part I highlighted! My youngest is heading to 9th grade next year, wow! Suddenly I have a little over 4 years left, instead of it seeming that I'll always homeschool!

 

I say, enjoy the time with the kids! They grow so fast! Take a little more time to do FUN things! To laugh! IT'S OKAY to chuck school for the day and go to the park, or somewhere fun together! Sometimes you just need those days!

[KAR120C]

I'm only sort of out of that range myself, and I still bristle a bit at the "don't worry" advice. On the one hand everyone's right - it doesn't matter that on one day in 4th grade you said to heck with it we're going to play instead, or that when you had an emergency (or an opportunity) you dropped everything and dealt with that instead. But on the other hand it does matter that in general you cared about school, you made it a priority, the kids worked hard... Not that they didn't enjoy themselves, but that they put effort into things that mattered. Schoolwork, chores, manners, exercise and healthy living, relationships... all of that.

 

It doesn't matter exactly how much gets done on any one day, or even in any one year - and I agree that one shouldn't obsess about that. But it does matter that schoolwork is a priority (in balance with everything else), that the parents are paying attention to how things are going, and that important things don't get put off indefinitely. So I think a little anxiety on the part of a newer homeschooler isn't all bad. This is important stuff, and it's worth asking about.

[Brindee]

I'm only sort of out of that range myself, and I still bristle a bit at the "don't worry" advice. On the one hand everyone's right - it doesn't matter that on one day in 4th grade you said to heck with it we're going to play instead, or that when you had an emergency (or an opportunity) you dropped everything and dealt with that instead. But on the other hand it does matter that in general you cared about school, you made it a priority, the kids worked hard... Not that they didn't enjoy themselves, but that they put effort into things that mattered. Schoolwork, chores, manners, exercise and healthy living, relationships... all of that.

 

It doesn't matter exactly how much gets done on any one day, or even in any one year - and I agree that one shouldn't obsess about that. But it does matter that schoolwork is a priority (in balance with everything else), that the parents are paying attention to how things are going, and that important things don't get put off indefinitely. So I think a little anxiety on the part of a newer homeschooler isn't all bad. This is important stuff, and it's worth asking about.

I'm not seeing "don't worry" advice, or advice that says not to make school a priority! I see people saying, not to make school a drudgery! School can be a definite priority, even with doing things in a fun way that will help catch their interest and help them remember the information better................as opposed to making school a priority and following a strict curriculum/workbook/textbook!

 

I was just talking with someone today, who has also homeschooled many years. We were remembering our school experiences. The things we remember most about school, K-graduating college, are the hands-on classes, ones that kept the children interested and engaged in the topic being studied, doing things in a different/fun way, acting things out, stopping to discuss and examine things when a question arose, teachers that showed a genuine interest in the student and the subjects being taught.

 

So when I say,

...enjoy the time with the kids! They grow so fast! Take a little more time to do FUN things! To laugh! IT'S OKAY to chuck school for the day and go to the park, or somewhere fun together! Sometimes you just need those days!

that is in no way saying parents don't care about school, don't show it as important, don't ever make the kids work hard/put in effort on important things.... I'm saying, "Because these things that you mentioned are so important, make them fun, guide the children in a way to keep their interest alive, and help them learn to love learning! Learning comes in many different forms!"

 

Actually, I DID say "sometimes". In my way of thinking, that shows kids that, though this is important, it's okay to take a little time for you--to rest, relax, rejuvenate, have a fun day without the pressures! I totally believe that! My parents would let my siblings and me stay out of school for a day every once in awhile, and we'd do stuff together as a family. School was important, yes, but so was allowing ourselves to take time together as a family! We'd come back to school the next day raring to go. We all did well in school. We knew school was important. We knew we had to work hard! BUT, we also realized how much our parents loved us, and how when the pressures build, it's good to take some rejuvenation time!

 

THAT is what I meant by what I said, even if it didn't come across that way. :001_smile:

[Faithr]

Actually, I think that you can pretty much ignore formal education til about the age of 12! Kids learn tons by playing, helping mom and dad, asking questions, reading and being read to, doing projects, etc. I truly don't think you need to worry about 4th grade at all! Forget fourth grade! That doesn't mean learning isn't a priority. I think it is all about your attitude and the atmosphere of the home. I think that when kids get this kind of healthy freedom early in life, they retain a love of learning. When they hit the older grades, they want to learn more. They are more receptive to direct instruction in subjects. And they catch on so much faster! And when they hit high school, they are ready to plan for their future and think about college and what they need to do.

 

I am painting things with a broad brush, every child is different. There are some kids who are very academically inclined and sitting with books and working through curriculum is just what they love to do. That's great. But a lot of kids need to see the purpose behind that kind of work or else their natural curiosity, love of learning, self-motivation, sense of satisfaction and accomplishment are really dulled and take a beating. That comes with maturity. There are so many posts on these boards of parents struggling with their kids. Saying their 7 yo is 'lazy' or their 9 year old is 'disobedient' because they are balking at their drudgery of their lessons. Or they worry that their child isn't getting something because they can't retain info on something that doesn't need to be taught at that age anyway! I mean, take learning long division. Why do kids have to learn it at such an early age? What 8 or 9 year old will ever, ever need it????? Whereas when the child is older, you can literally sit down and teach it in one lesson. So many posts are about how the parents are about to lose it they are so frustrated with their children. Homeschooling has a high burn out rate. Why? Because we think we have to replicate institutional schooling ways in the home. I think a child participating in life and interacting with an encouraging parent who immerses that child in a world of good literature and intellectual inquiry, is going to not only teach that child all they need to prepare them for adulthood, but they are also going to be far less frustrated and angry with the child. When you are seldom frustrated and angry with someone, you naturally have a more trusting, intimate and closer relationship with them.

 

I do think at some point one has to buckle down and hit the books. That's the way our society is set up and especially if one wants to go to college, it seems to me that even the most ardent unschooler (who wants to attend college) has to concede that. But by waiting until the child is older and letting it be THEIR decision, makes all the difference in the world. At least in my little bit of experience!

 

Being relaxed about formal education is NOT equivalent to not caring about a child's education.

Edited March 20, 2010 by Faithr

[jld]

Amen, Faith.

[ereks mom]

I don't know if I'm smiling so much as feeling a need to comfort them in their anxiety. I want to tell them to relax and enjoy their child. It is not fatal that a child not know their addition facts in 2nd grade or that just because you're 4th grader can't consistently identify a linking verb there is some crisis at hand! I want to tell them the most important thing of all is to stay close to their children and to really forge a strong connection of love and respect and all that other stuff will happen one way or another.

 

The years are so fleeting. It is a shame to waste them on unnecessary worry.

 

:iagree:

[Corraleno]

I am painting things with a broad brush, every child is different. There are some kids who are very academically inclined and sitting with books and working through curriculum is just what they love to do. That's great. But a lot of kids need to see the purpose behind that kind of work or else their natural curiosity, love of learning, self-motivation, sense of satisfaction and accomplishment are really dulled and take a beating. That comes with maturity. There are so many posts on these boards of parents struggling with their kids. Saying their 7 yo is 'lazy' or their 9 year old is 'disobedient' because they are balking at their drudgery of their lessons. Or they worry that their child isn't getting something because they can't retain info on something that doesn't need to be taught at that age anyway! I mean, take learning long division. Why do kids have to learn it at such an early age? What 8 or 9 year old will ever, ever need it????? Whereas when the child is older, you can literally sit down and teach it in one lesson. So many posts are about how the parents are about to lose it they are so frustrated with their children. Homeschooling has a high burn out rate. Why? Because we think we have to replicate institutional schooling ways in the home. I think a child participating in life and interacting with an encouraging parent who immerses that child in a world of good literature and intellectual inquiry, is going to not only teach that child all they need to prepare them for adulthood, but they are also going to be far less frustrated and angry with the child. When you are seldom frustrated and angry with someone, you naturally have a more trusting, intimate and closer relationship with them.

THIS. Every. single. word. :hurray:

 

Jackie

[Miss Marple]

Oh, yeah, and I get the "curriculum thrills" all over again and wish I had someone on which to try the new programs.

 

All of mine are teenagers or older now, but it really hit me a few Sundays ago when I worked in the nursery. I spent the morning playing with a little 18 month old boy and had such a fine time just doing stuff like building towers with blocks and watching him knock them over, putting blocks on my head and he would knock them off and giggle. But when he was getting tired, he sat in my lap and ate a cracker, leaned back and dozed on my chest. It struck me how nice it was when all it took to make a child happy was to give them a cracker, a lap, and a nap. Ahhh..those were sweet days....

 

I remember thinking that I had to accomplish so much or we weren't doing well, but looking back, I can see the things that were necessary, the things that made school fun, and the things I probably would not focus on again. And that's what makes this board so great! There is always someone who has gone before us and can help us see the goal through all the fog.

Edited March 20, 2010 by CynthiaOK

[G5052]

The days of worrying about phonics programs and 1st grade math seem so long ago. Now it's about finding all the novels they need to read for the next year and trying to guage whether to tackle certain subjects that "count" myself or to outsource where I'm weak. I never was concerned about keeping up with them in those early days, and now I'm straining to barely stay ahead in some subjects!