Broadening Women's Horizon - How

[Ummto4]

If you were to talk in front of women (all with bachelor degrees) who are SAHM and encourage them to broaden their horizon via self education, where would you start ?

 

Do you tell them resources to self educate ?

Do you tell them the importance of reading ?

Do you tell them the importance to allocate time to self educate as oppose to ahemmmm ... organizing endless shopping/lunches ?

 

I'm planning to also share the advantage of knowing world history. I find studying history is helpful to provide context and deeper understanding of any given subject. It also helps me to understand current events, analyze a chain of events from the past and answer my various 'why' questions.

 

Is it too overwhelming ?

[angela in ohio]

You need to find their motivation. Are these homeschooling mothers?

 

It sounds like maybe not, if they are endlessly shopping and lunching. If not, give them anecdotes about how being educated would be helpful to them in their situation. If they have ps students: helping with homework, discussing current events or school work with dc, etc. If they have husbands who have jobs that require the wives to mingle with professionals: they are an asset to their family (husbands, earnings potential) if they can talk intelligently to their husbands' associates. If they are active in charitable events: the benefit of understandig the political and geographical background of international relief needs and the current socio-economic climate of the U.S.

 

I would include some quotes from influential women talking about the importance of education and reading. I would give them a few resources to get them started and then tell them how to find more one their own.

[Ummto4]

They're not.

 

Their husbands are professionals (engineers, mostly) and they themselves are educated with bachelor degrees. There are a lot of shopping and lunches and window shopping, but they also sometimes organize small fund raising if there's a need, like earthquake, tsunami, whatever.

 

Some volunteer at their children's classes as well, and are pretty involved with their children's education.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I would think that you might want to provide some history stories, especially about women, to pique their interest. The main problem is that most people see history as a dry and uninteresting collection of facts, they need to see the relevance to themselves and their own place in history. Personally, I would love to have a list of resources that were interesting and thought provoking, perhaps broken down by era or topic.

 

I wouldn't assume that these women don't read. It just may be something they don't discuss because they also have that assumption about their peers. I've seen it happen before.

[angela in ohio]

Okay, then I definitely stand by the advice in my first post. I would break it down like this:

 

a few minutes - funny or startling anecdotes to catch attention

roughy one-third of time - why they need to self-educate

another third - how to/ make a plan/ create goals/ areas of self-ed

final third - resources

 

When I talk about the need for logic or education, I like to start wtih funny examples of the opposite. You can google for funny stories of criminals doing dumb things, for funny test answers teachers get, etc. It's a godd hook. You could also go the "scare them into it" method, wtih statistics about how their interests or lack thereof will influence their dc's.

[laughing lioness]

I would start with a discussion about stewarding our days (since they are numbered) and the importance of vision (without a vision the people will perish) and the how goal setting facilitates meeting goals (write the vision and make it plain).

Often times those who have much with little demands end up being very self-focused. How do you cast a vision that is intriguing to this group -why is it important to self-educate? What is their motivation? and why should they care? Write the vision and make it plain (Habbakuk).

[Laurie]

 

I'm planning to also share the advantage of knowing world history. I find studying history is helpful to provide context and deeper understanding of any given subject. It also helps me to understand current events, analyze a chain of events from the past and answer my various 'why' questions.

 

 

 

I think this would be a very interesting talk because you're sharing your own example of the benefits of self-education without sounding like you're judging/preaching to the other women. Quite honestly, I would feel insulted, bachelor's degree or not, if another adult were to stand up and "lecture" me about the importance of reading.

 

I don't know what kind of women's group you'll be speaking to but if you want to inspire them I think you should begin by giving them the benefit of the doubt...if you don't respect your audience that may come through loud and clear and end up being the only message they take away with them.

[Ummto4]

 

I don't know what kind of women's group you'll be speaking to but if you want to inspire them I think you should begin by giving them the benefit of the doubt...if you don't respect your audience that may come through loud and clear and end up being the only message they take away with them.

 

Can you elaborate ?

 

Thanks

[BikeBookBread]

When I became a SAHM (pre homeschooling, baby years), I decided I was ready to learn new things that had nothing to do with being a former marketing rep, a former admin assistant, insurance adjuster, political science student -- basically I wanted nothing to do with my "former life".

 

So....I took classical guitar lessons, taught myself bread baking, crochet, knitting, etc... I have a friend who was a former Air Force officer and JAG (military attorney) who also became a SAHM; she decided to teach herself uni-cycling and took dog sledding lessons.

 

Perhaps encourage them to expand their horizons looking beyond anything they ever thought of learning before. I have another friend who (while pregnant) took fashion design classes at the local community college - pattern making, etc... "Project Runway" without the stress :)

 

On my list for future learning opportunities: spinning (wool), canning, perhaps Master Gardening, Master Breadbaking, culinary classes, etc.

 

It's definitely harder now that I'm homeschooling (and just Kinder -- I can only imagine what it'll be like in a few years!) to just pick up a new skill, but it's really changed my outlook on life.

 

ETA: If your main goal is to encourage reading literature, perhaps suggest they form a book club -- and NOT a pop fiction club -- but a classic literature club. Perhaps suggest they read "The Well Educated Mind" first.

Edited February 2, 2010 by BikeBookBread

[TravelingChris]

I agree with the previous poster who said don;t assume they don't read. Most wives of professional men who have educations themselves do read and read a lot. The fact that it isn't a typical conversation point with women doesn't have anything to do with that. I don't know that many women I meet in professional circles know anything about what I read or learn about. We tend to talk about our children, our travels, where is a good place to get something, etc.

[Julie in CA]

I think it's a little hard to answer your original question without knowing why you're actually being asked to talk about this in the first place. An ongoing lifestyle of learning is wonderful, but not everyone's cuppa, kwim? These are women who have already achieved a reasonable level of education. If I *had* to say something, it would be along the lines of encouraging them to find the personal interests that make them each unique, and then actively seeking ways to enrich their lives and the lives of those around them by following those personal interests to the fullest. :001_smile: I'd stress the fact that they can stay in their chosen life, while still becoming more interesting, more widely traveled individuals, right from their own living rooms...that by exploring possibilities beyond their routine, they will be able to guide their children into seeing and reaching for greater things.

[JoyfulMama]

I think this would be a very interesting talk because you're sharing your own example of the benefits of self-education without sounding like you're judging/preaching to the other women. Quite honestly, I would feel insulted, bachelor's degree or not, if another adult were to stand up and "lecture" me about the importance of reading.

 

I don't know what kind of women's group you'll be speaking to but if you want to inspire them I think you should begin by giving them the benefit of the doubt...if you don't respect your audience that may come through loud and clear and end up being the only message they take away with them.

 

Can you elaborate ?

 

Thanks

 

I agree with Laurie here, but I don't want to speak for her. I wouldn't speak at all about the importance of reading unless it is in the context of "What better way can we model the importance of reading to our children than by reading in front of them, and showing them that learning doesn't have to stop when school is out!"

 

If *I* had to give this presentation, I think I would start by talking about our changing tastes as we grow - the foods that I liked as a child, or that my children like, and how they changed as I grew, and how I hope they will change in my kids. I will relate that to my changing interests as well. When I was in school, history was incredibly boring to me. When I was in college, I tried my best to not take a traditional history class. But the variety of classes was so vast that I didn't have enough time to take all the classes that interested me. And now that I have been out for a number of years, I have found that there are some subjects or topics or skills that I find to be incredibly interesting, and want to learn more about. This, to me, would be a great segue into your self-education of history.

 

I'd love to read what you finally decide to present.

[Laurie]

Can you elaborate ?

 

 

 

I think it would be helpful for us to know what kind of group this. It's not clear to me if they've invited you to speak or if you're planning some kind of luncheon intervention. ;)

 

If you've been asked to speak specifically about self-education then you probably don't need to explain the importance/rationale of it but jump right in and explain how you do it/what has worked for you. If you haven't been asked to speak on the subject then there's a danger of insulting your audience's intelligence by assuming that they need your advice. That's why I was suggesting that you limit your talk to your own experience and share your passion about history and how this has enriched your life. Even if they don't share your interest I think most people could enjoy listening to someone who is very enthusiastic about their topic. It seems like you would want to inspire your audience rather than come off as someone who's looking down on them. Frankly, that's the tone that comes across in your OP: "Do you tell them the importance to allocate time to self educate as oppose to ahemmmm ... organizing endless shopping/lunches ?"

 

So, I would consider very carefully what your motives are in speaking to this group and what you hope to accomplish. I like Virginia Dawn's advice about piquing their interest with stories about women. Just a thought...There's a book I like called Women's Letters: America from the Revolutionary War to the Present by Lisa Grunwald that might have something of interest for this mysterious group of women who lunch too much. :cheers2:

[Ummto4]

Well,

 

In fact, it's for a group of woman from my ethnic group . Most of these women, when they came to US to settle with their hubbies, choose to be a SAHM because of lack of support system. In Indonesia you have maid, and often your mom or MIL live with you. So, even when the mother works, children are not left in day care situation. That's the reason why these women choose to be a SAHM, or at the most part time working moms.

 

They have different level of religiousness, but they are muslims and they have religious study circle weekdays. The rest is luncheon, shopping, window shopping, cooking lesson, sewing together and fundraising when there's natural disaster.

 

Now, there has recently been this religious talk encouraging women who stay at home to continue broaden their horizon and continue learning. The woman who does the 'talk' herself is a religious scholar and she stresses on the importance of reading .. and she said she has 3000 books in her home.

 

Anyway, this inspires some women in the group I refer above and may be, rather than the usual 'socialization program' they have this discussion on broadening a SAHM horizon and possibly forming a bookclub or facilitate the self-education.

 

SHould I just share my experience to how, for the first time, I know enough history to actually understand the world around me, just to inspire further ?

 

Should I encourage them to try out new things and use this season of life as a SAHM with school-age non homeschooled kids to pick up a new hobby?

 

May be I shouldn't talk about reading at all, but more of be adventurous ?

[Laurie]

SHould I just share my experience to how, for the first time, I know enough history to actually understand the world around me, just to inspire further ?

 

Should I encourage them to try out new things and use this season of life as a SAHM with school-age non homeschooled kids to pick up a new hobby?

 

May be I shouldn't talk about reading at all, but more of be adventurous ?

 

Any of the above! It sounds like a wonderful group. Maybe you could informally "survey" the group to get an idea of what other activities they might be interested in doing together. What kinds of places are nearby... maybe the group could still meet for lunch but choose a place near a museum or other interesting place so that anyone who wants to do more than just have lunch will have that option.

 

If the woman with 3,000 books is a regular member of the group maybe she'd be willing to have a lending library...have the other members bring lunch to her house and then see what she's been reading. :)

[MamaSheep]

I think if I were to attend such a thing, I would love to hear about how learning about history has changed your understanding of what goes on in the world, especially some specific examples along the lines of "I never understood why X happened, until I read about Y, and now I see that X happened because...". Also, since they share a religion, it might be interesting (if it won't cause undue controversy) to share some insights you've had about how historical events have affected, or been affected by, your religion, or people with your religious perspective. How have Muslims helped shaped the world? That sort of thing.

 

THEN I would love to hear about opportunities in the community for learning. Books are certainly one way of learning, but not the only way. What other opportunities for education, both formal and informal, are available in your community? Could you give them a list of museums and historical sites in your area, places that offer affordable classes in various subject areas, places that have guest speakers and lecturers come in to discuss various issues, programs offered at the local library, that sort of thing? Sometimes it's very helpful to have an idea of where to start.

 

Also, if I were attending, I would feel more comfortable with a speaker who was able to offer me new opportunities and choices without denigrating the choices I have made. For example, I enjoy doing handwork, especially embroidery and quilting. I find it therapeutic and relaxing, and I also have found that each form has its own rich and unique history and culture and different levels of complexity and skill. I see it as a seriously underappreciated art form, and am aware that a trained eye will see a great deal more in a good piece of hand work than some schlep off the street who doesn't have a clue what he's looking at. BUT, I went to art school, and one of my professors was a very rabid feminist--don't get me wrong, I am ALL for equal pay for equal work, and I have great respect for much of the work done in the name of feminism--but there are feminists, and then there are "rabid feminists", if you know what I mean. This one was the rabid sort. At the beginning of my first course with her she handed out a questionaire that was geared toward "getting to know" her students better. I naively included embroidery or something of the sort under the section in which she asked about our hobbies. She spent the rest of the course needling me about it. When she wanted to express to me that she disapproved of any particular aspect of my work, she would say something to me along the lines of, "we are NOT knitting" in a voice absolutely dripping with contempt, and she liked to point out to me that art is a field strongly dominated by men, who do not sit around and make doilies. And naturally, she encouraged my classmates to join in the ridicule. She was deeply offended by the idea that a woman of my generation would even THINK about participating in such an oppressive, demeaning domestic activity as stitchery, let alone admit to it in a sacred institution of higher learning. I could never see what difference it made WHAT I did in my spare time, so long as I did my school work as well, and fervently wished I'd never admitted to enjoying one of my favorite hobbies.

 

In the years since, I have observed (in my home and those of many friends and family members) that a personally hand-embroidered pillowcase, a homemade loaf of bread, a home-cooked meal, a dress "my mommy made just for me", and other things of that nature go a very long way toward making the people in our lives feel...not sure how to say it...validated? Loved? Real? Worthwhile? Like there's a reason to crawl out of bed in the morning and keep trying? In many cases, it's worth a great deal more than a paycheck, in terms of quality of life. And I have been grateful to that professor for helping me to become more keenly aware of the familial and societal impact of simple domesticity. This being the case, though, I would probably not take it well if I went to a presentation in which I was informed that I am wasting my life by being "only" a SAHM, and that I am not worthwhile unless I have attained a certain level of academic prowess so I should stop crocheting doilies (which I never do...lol) and actually USE my brain for a change. I would rather discuss the topic of continuing learning (which I value with a passion) with someone who can value the various aspects of domestic artistry and skill equally along with the intellectual capacity of women.

 

And I'm not saying you would do that at all, I don't know you. I'm just saying that most of the time people appreciate it when you respect where they're coming from, and that might be something to take into consideration in deciding how to approach your topic. It might go over better if you can talk about adding to the wonderful things they're already doing, rather than talking about ditching frivolous things and finally getting some meaning in their lives--what seems frivolous to one person may have deep meaning to another.

 

Good luck!

Edited February 3, 2010 by MamaSheep

[HollyDay]

Do they want to be broadened? Or are they happy where they are?

 

If they want to be broadened, then I would think they would know what direction they want to go. Perhaps all they need is info on how to get started.

 

If they are happy where they are, then I am not sure what to say. Were you asked to speak to a group of ladies who want to make a change?