homeschoolin'mygirls Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 the people in your life aren't interested in listening? I'm a very good listener--I ask questions-listen actively. I consciously work to not interrupt and to not rush past what the speaker is saying to get my message across. I try and model active listening but just modeling doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I interject to make them listen but--it's not the same. What ways have you found that helps the people in your life become a better listener to you? edited to add---mostly this is with people close to me. Ironically, people not as close listen and seem to value my input and thoughts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 Tell them, "Shut up and listen!" Really. If I'm in a nicer mood (or not as frustrated) I will say, "I am going to vent. I need you to listen to me and not interrupt or offer suggestions or to tell me how much worse Aunt Mabel had it". . . or "I am going to say some things that you may find helpful. I need you to listen. Do not argue with what I have to say. Do not make a snap judgment on whether it is helpful or not. Just listen!" or "I'm only going to tell you this once. When I am done, I want you to tell back to me what I just said." (Narration doesn't just work during school time). :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 LOL Sometimes I just come here and yammer. I don't always know if you're reading or not, and since I can't tell or see your glassed-over eyes, I don't care. :lol: Seriously, sometimes it's more about the right place and time. My dh will listen and talk about most anything, just not at 2am, when I am awake and he's asleep. Some people are not good listeners, ever, so you then got to find some new folks who are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 :bigear: listening! I know what you mean. Whenever I try to talk with dh about homeschooling or life at home his eyes glaze over after 2 minutes. Hate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 (edited) It depends who I'm talking to. Sometimes I say things like "May I finish my sentence?" These tend to be used on dh. Anyone else who matters at all would probably get a mini-lecture on having manners or if they are older, on how to "make friends and influence people." Then there are the times when I take pity on the poor person and say "You don't have to actually listen to this rant on homeschooling curriculum, just try to say uh-huh as if you are." That works sometimes. It works the other way too, when dh is talking about RPGs or computer programming. Rosie Edited January 10, 2010 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 10, 2010 Share Posted January 10, 2010 I make sure I'm concise and easy to listen to. IRL, not here...lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted January 11, 2010 Author Share Posted January 11, 2010 I find it fairly easy to redirect (frequently!) the children in my life. Not so easy some of the adults in my life. However, as I have pondered the situation since my original post, I am aware that it is one more symptom of a larger relationship issue. :sad: Thanks for listening, friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 the people in your life aren't interested in listening? I'm a very good listener--I ask questions-listen actively. I consciously work to not interrupt and to not rush past what the speaker is saying to get my message across. I try and model active listening but just modeling doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I interject to make them listen but--it's not the same. What ways have you found that helps the people in your life become a better listener to you? edited to add---mostly this is with people close to me. Ironically' date=' people not as close listen and seem to value my input and thoughts[/quote'] Huh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I'm sorry...what were you saying? I wasn't listening... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I'm sorry...what were you saying? I wasn't listening... :D She also types without looking at the keyboard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 Honestly? I find it easier to make friends with people who are good listeners than to try to get people to listen to me who aren't inclined to do so. Being self-absorbed is a character flaw, and I am not able to fix the character flaws in others. I will volunteer information and see if they are interested...but if someone is only interested in talking about herself, I have little patience for that. It doesn't mean I won't talk to them again, but I do cross them off the list of potential close friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted January 11, 2010 Share Posted January 11, 2010 I've tried most of the helpful hints others have listed. Now I mostly fantasize about using a shock collar to get their attention! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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