My 5.5 yr old son was spit on and hit tonight!

[calledtobehome]

I'm a little upset about this situation:

 

My husband and I went on a great date tonight thanks to our YMCA parents night out program. I was given good reviews about the program from another parent and we decided to give it a try. The program is offered free to members twice a month but families can only utlize it once a month in order to give other families an opportunity.

After returning from our date we later found out from our son that he was spit on more than one time in the face and hair and hit by the same little boy. We didn't find this out until we were on our way home. My husband made the decision to turn around to find out what happened. I went in and spoke the worker and asked if she knew that our son was spit on and hit and she told me that she forgot to mention it to us!!(SAY WHAT) She said that she did remove the boy and placed him beside another staff. I also spoke with the chair person to let her know what happend and she was a little taken back because she said neither one of the staff let her know about the incident. She did assure me that she would speak with them about it. Overall our boys said they had a great time and they would like to go back again. I haven't decided if we will try it again next month or if we will just take them to grandmas!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm sorry that happened. But it does sound like behavior that does happen on occasion with children that age. The worker responded appropriately when she removed the child and placed him with another adult. I would assume that workers would be very busy when parents are checking out their children, especially if there are many parents doing it at the same time (don't know if that was the case). I could very well see her meaning to talk to you about it but forgetting.

[ChristusG]

Reason number one zillion why I homeschool.....to keep my kids away from mean children who get little to no consequences for what they do.

 

I'm sorry that happened to your son. I would have been very upset as well.

[Joanne]

Hm. I find hitting and spitting on a child to be outside of normal range of behaviors for school aged children. How old is the child who did that to your son?

 

However, in defense of child-care workers, if we had to report each incident and interaction between children, it would be a nightmare imposed on an already underpaid job.

[Joanne]

Reason number one zillion why I homeschool.....to keep my kids away from mean children who get little to no consequences for what they do.

 

I'm sorry that happened to your son. I would have been very upset as well.

 

Respectfully, do you really think homeschooling prevents children from acting out? And how do you know that the child in question gets little or no consequences? How can you begin to assume that based on one event/situation with a child you don't know?

 

How do you know this child is "mean" from one event? It's possible the OP's child was in his bubble, in his space or in other ways interacting with the child who then became overwhelmed and acted poorly in response.

 

I hope not too many people judge me, my kids, my DH on *one* event as "mean" or "undiscplined".

 

 

All of my children have, at times, done completely bone-headed, childish, immature things. Homeschooling doesn't mature kids into greater impulse control. At the end of the school day, they are all still children.

[pqr]

Hm. I find hitting and spitting on a child to be outside of normal range of behaviors for school aged children.

 

We have very different experiences, while I may agree on the spitting issue, children hit. It is a fairly normal behavior and one that is generally reduced when they find out that the child hit can also HIT BACK.

[Joanne]

We have very different experiences, while I may agree on the spitting issue, children hit. It is a fairly normal behavior and one that is generally reduced when they find out that the child hit can also HIT BACK.

 

Yes, I agree with you and I should have been more specific. The spitting seems out of normal range for the age. But hitting is common. It's also what I was talking about when I talked about child care workers reporting to parents. If we had to report every normal, expected and common incident, it would be a nightmare and not productive.

[dtb1999]

Respectfully, do you really think homeschooling prevents children from acting out? And how do you know that the child in question gets little or no consequences? How can you begin to assume that based on one event/situation with a child you don't know?

 

How do you know this child is "mean" from one event? It's possible the OP's child was in his bubble, in his space or in other ways interacting with the child who then became overwhelmed and acted poorly in response.

 

I hope not too many people judge me, my kids, my DH on *one* event as "mean" or "undiscplined".

 

 

All of my children have, at times, done completely bone-headed, childish, immature things. Homeschooling doesn't mature kids into greater impulse control. At the end of the school day, they are all still children.

 

 

:iagree: Well, Joanne, you saved me some time, and said it better than I would have.

[SonshineLearner]

Hm. I find hitting and spitting on a child to be outside of normal range of behaviors for school aged children. How old is the child who did that to your son?

 

However, in defense of child-care workers, if we had to report each incident and interaction between children, it would be a nightmare imposed on an already underpaid job.

 

You don't see other children hit or spit... ever?? My son is a very gentle soul, but has tried both of those in this last year. (I suppose it's late....he's 6.5) Perhaps it's because he hasn't been around a ton of kids his age, and this last year and a half was really his first "mass exposure".

 

Of course, I responded to his behavior and it doesn't seem ongoing, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he tried this out... back then at least... at an over stimulating childcare night.

;)

[laurafrantz]

How awful. My little ones spent four months in our local public school while we were going through our financial crisis, and each one of them was hurt by another child at least once. If they are in public, it will happen, it's never fun, and it's not OK. But it can be a great learning opportunity, a chance to talk about "how we behave in our family", etc. *hugs*

[Stacie]

That's so heartbreaking for your son. I'm sorry he had to go through it. If you pursue it anymore with the director of the program, perhaps you can suggest an incident tag system. A local program I've been involved with uses this and when an incident happens that should be mentioned to the parent, a sticker is placed next to the names of the children involved on the check out sheet. When the worker has the parent sign out the child she sees the sticker and can discuss the incident. Otherwise, many things are forgotten or the worker checking out the child is not the one who witnessed the incident and isn't aware of it.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I hope not too many people judge me, my kids, my DH on *one* event as "mean" or "undiscplined".

 

 

All of my children have, at times, done completely bone-headed, childish, immature things. Homeschooling doesn't mature kids into greater impulse control. At the end of the school day, they are all still children.

 

OH yeah. People did that to me--assuming my dc had no consequences when in reality we are extremely consistent. But, we had one biter and one with sensory issues. So things got heated at times!

 

 

I would be upset, but, you handled it correctly. I think the childcare workers, with the exception of forgetting to tell you, handled it correctly. If they all had a good time, I would try it again and see. Could have been a one time thing. If it happens again, then think twice about using it.

[sassenach]

My comfort level with the situation would depend entirely on how old the other child was. If he was under 8, then I'd be ok with how they handled it. If he was older, I would want to know if he had been asked not to return.