myfunnybunch Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I love having house guests. I particularly love the idea of having house guests. I like the idea of being welcoming, of meeting new people, of inviting others to share our home. But I hate making small talk with strangers. I am horribly bad at it. Dh says I am good at it, but I am shy and I feel awkward and it drains me. Our Japanese student's father is visiting. I love her, she is darling. Her father is very polite, speaks English well, and is a little bit shy too. I've been chatting with him since they arrived at our house after a short trip to another city, I've made coffee, gave him the newspaper and complimented his lovely daughter. The conversation is fine, we're enjoying visiting. But he started talking gadget talk to dh and I've escaped for just a few minutes, lol. (Dh knew exactly what I was doing and understands.) Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way! The funny thing is I just poked my head out and our guest has headed to his room for a bit. I suspect he's doing the same thing. ;) Obviously I'm not the only one. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyable Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I completely understand. I'm the exact same way. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Me too. If it is not close family that I know very well, I'm rather unsociable LOL. MIL is staying with us for 15 days. I'm on day 5 right now. I need some chocolate and some solitude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Even though I'm more sociable than unsociable, I still need alone time each day, too, after being around people all day. Maybe if I were more comfortable sitting with someone in companionable silence it would be easier. But I feel a need to fill the silence with talk, and that wears me out after awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 me, i like my space in my home. for the most part with the exception of my grandma when people come to visit i have to be "on" for most of the day and it drives me nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GaHadley Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I so know what you mean! It's exhausting! I love being the hostess as far as planning and lighting candles and putting a goody bag on the guest's pillow, but I'd rather leave the small talk to someone else! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 Having to be on for strangers or even family members is very draining!!! I'm suffering through this right now... very much wishing I could hide. My mom and stepdad are here. My mom is fine; however, my stepdad grates on my nerves (and my mother's!), so having him around has been difficult for all of us. I'm praying for patience practically every hour. I am longing for early Sunday morning, when I can bring them to the airport and have our home back. It makes me feel awful because I really enjoy having my mom visit. She's not the same when my stepdad is around though, and I'm tired of hearing their fighting/bickering because he cannot get along with anyone. Ever. Anyway, sorry to vent... You are definitely not alone in wanting your space! I hope it gets better for you soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I just have a teenage sleepover guest and I am hiding in my room. I have fed and and provided for all amenities so they are now resposible for amusing themselves. They are currently running around the backyard with the dog, yelling, screaming and laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 You're not the only one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I'm with you. I love the idea of hospitality and all that. I hate hate hate having people in my house. My house is my place of peace (relatively speaking, having kids and all) and my refuge from the cold cruel world. So I have learned not to have houseguests if I can avoid it. :grouphug: Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginevra Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I'm like that, too. It's one of the things I liked about having nursing babies/babies needing sleep routines. It gave me a natural "out" during our extended family parties or at our beach house that we share with the in-laws. I really liked that I had a perfectly good excuse to beg off from the endless socializing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 I love having house guests. I particularly love the idea of having house guests. I like the idea of being welcoming, of meeting new people, of inviting others to share our home. But I hate making small talk with strangers. I am horribly bad at it. Dh says I am good at it, but I am shy and I feel awkward and it drains me. Our Japanese student's father is visiting. I love her, she is darling. Her father is very polite, speaks English well, and is a little bit shy too. I've been chatting with him since they arrived at our house after a short trip to another city, I've made coffee, gave him the newspaper and complimented his lovely daughter. The conversation is fine, we're enjoying visiting. But he started talking gadget talk to dh and I've escaped for just a few minutes, lol. (Dh knew exactly what I was doing and understands.) Please tell me I am not the only one who feels this way! The funny thing is I just poked my head out and our guest has headed to his room for a bit. I suspect he's doing the same thing. ;) Obviously I'm not the only one. Cat Cat, as you can see from the responses, your are not the only one. :) I enjoy extending hospitality. But it does drain me. However, I find the better I know someone, the less it drains me. So, when making a new friend, I keep that in mind. I also find I get drained by being around mobs of strangers. Like yesterday, I took all of the children to the mall by myself. Dsd wanted to 'hang out' with a friend. I lugged all three boys around a huge mall for two hours while dsd and her friend went off together. The boys had fun, dsd and her friend had fun. Me; well, I put on a good face for the kids. When we met up to leave, dsd asked me 'Are you ok?!' Apparently I looked a bit pale, LOL. I told her, 'Well, that almost killed me'. :D Hope that girl can see how much I love her... :tongue_smilie: I fell asleep in bed with Zee when I tucked him in, I was so tired. Today, we are staying in. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted December 30, 2009 Share Posted December 30, 2009 :grouphug: I totally feel your pain. I love the idea of Southern Hospitality and having cakes and pies and sweet iced tea and lots of free flowing gregarious conversation . . . but I have such ridiculously stunted social skills and I'm such a social introvert. It just isn't happening. We had three get-togethers over Christmas, and I spent a significant portion of all three of them hiding either in my bedroom or in the bathroom. Everyone probably thinks I have severe IBS :001_huh: . . . but I really just needed a break.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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