Impish Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I don't get it. Things are going well. Really well, even. Marriage is good, kids are great, everyone is healthy, happy, financially we're the best we've ever been at Christmas during our entire marriage. I should be blissfully happy. Instead, I'm depressed. I'm scared that its the 'calm before the storm'. Wolf suggests that perhaps, for the first time in our marriage, we're coming OUT of the storm. Perhaps its the chronic pain. Perhaps I'm just some weirdo freak (more than I'd previously suspected, that is). Perhaps its because I've had to give way to the realization that making Diva the dress is completely impossible, and RSD has kicked my butt again. I just wish I could shove everything aside, and just enjoy the anticipation and excitement, instead of feeling terribly behind, in a panic, thinking of things not done, worrying that I haven't done enough, etc, etc. Probably a good thing I see my psychologist tomorrow! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 That feeling of "waiting for the other shoe to drop" is worse at times than being in the midst of it all in the first place isn't it. As hard as it is, try to live in the moment of today enjoying the happiness and security. Use this time to recharge your stores, so that if the storm comes back you are ready to deal with it head on. I am so glad that things are going much better for you this christmas, even if you could not make the dress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 I know I should. I wish I had some sort of 'reset' button I could punch, and just be able to start over emotionally...get right in the head and heart so I could settle and enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Anxiety is a terrible thing. It makes us someone else. Plus, all the messages of perfection this time of year. Happy families, gorgeous homes decorated so beautifully (I saw Robin McGraw's Holiday book at the bookstore the other day and woah...there's something different about Texans, is all i can say). Everybody is so HAPPY, so JOYOUS, so CRAFTY, so ORGANIZED...everybody but YOU (ME!). The Victorians destroyed Christmas for the rest of us; they really did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I think it's a type of post traumatic stress. You've been running on adrenaline and now that it's not flooding your system, you are feeling down. I'm not sure what will help, the psychologist might. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 22, 2009 Author Share Posted December 22, 2009 Thanks for the responses. Apparently, PMS was playing a role too. A week early at that :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherri in MI Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Chronic pain can so easily bring on depression. Those of us who only get knocked down by pain sometimes (migraines) can get depressed by it! It's very common. Unfortunately, I don't have any suggestions for you (I haven't read the other posts). Except maybe make time to do things that help you cope with the pain or bring you joy: exercise, snuggles, music, thankful list, prayer - whatever specificially is meaningful to you. I wish I could be more helpful, but I can and will pray for you. Blessings, Sherri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammaruss Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Chronic pain can so easily bring on depression. Those of us who only get knocked down by pain sometimes (migraines) can get depressed by it! It's very common. :iagree: I was in an auto accident over a year ago. I have a muscle in my neck/shoulder that is in a CONSTANT state of spasm!!!:crying: My pain pills and muscle relaxers no longer give me even a little relief. All the therapy, and injections have not worked--my body has rebelled against them all. It is so frustrating that an injury that other people would have been on the road to recovery in the first few months and with me-- it is just taking so long!! :confused:There are days that the pain just does not allow me to function. There are other days that I can deal with the pain a little better but it is still there --always present. My whole upbeat personality has definitely changed. I have turned into such a worrier...I have also noticed that 'little' things that never bothered me before now get me so upset. My Dr. said that it is because my body is trying to deal with the pain and everything else is just too much stimulation for my brain--an overload.... Pain is sooooo draining and consuming and just exhausting. I have noticed in this last year that I have to work soooooo much harder to just smile, make more of an effort to laugh--I have to work at it all so much more to just act/be happy. I am so grateful for sooooooo many things in my life and I find myself trying to focus on those when I am so discouraged from the pain...I am scheduled for botox next month and hopefully that will relax my muscles and give me some relief. Since my muscles have been in such a spasm for so long---doctors are not sure if it will help or not...but a girl can hope! If it does not work, I know that I will need to figure out my own way of just dealing with this pain and staying sane....I can only take it one day at a time--I never knew what that meant --until now. I feel for anyone that is in pain--it is just not fun. I do not know your pain, but I am so empathetic!! :grouphug: Ouch--it even hurts to hug!! Take care!! ~Michelle~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 I know I should. I wish I had some sort of 'reset' button I could punch, and just be able to start over emotionally...get right in the head and heart so I could settle and enjoy. Hmm. When I feel like that, I find indulging in a silly novel and large bowl of chocolate mousse behind a barricaded door to help as much as anything will... :grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Hmm. When I feel like that, I find indulging in a silly novel and large bowl of chocolate mousse behind a barricaded door to help as much as anything will... :grouphug: Rosie Yes, Yes, Yes - in that order! It is difficult to see one's ambitions repeatedly thwarted by chronic disability or recurring pain and accepting it is just not easy. Perhaps you are exhausted from the battles of the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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