Laura Corin Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I buy most of the boys' presents for Christmas, then label them from various relatives. We started this system when we lived overseas. The boys have lost two grandparents over the last two years, so their named givers are dwindling. Would you just increase the number of parental gifts? Or is there another way to deal with the situation? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyboys Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 (edited) I buy most of the boys' presents for Christmas, then label them from various relatives. We started this system when we lived overseas. The boys have lost two grandparents over the last two years, so their named givers are dwindling. Would you just increase the number of parental gifts? Or is there another way to deal with the situation? Laura Are the boys aware of their deaths, even though they're far away? If so, it makes sense that gifts would be fewer. At your boys' ages, the gifts are also starting to get a bit pricier typically. The down shift in numbers may not be much of an issue since it's logical, especially when coupled with the particular electronics, science equipment or complicated toy presents they're probably interested in -- the outlay is the same for you, right? Or did the folks reimburse? If money's an issue, you could explain that grandparents used to send Christmas money for special gifts.... It can be sad for dc, I've found, the Christmas or two after losing a loved one, including pets, as they pull out ornaments that are reminders, or make and send gifts with some obvious people missing. But it can be a good time of reminiscence too. hth Edited December 7, 2009 by lovemyboys eta: sp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I do the same...the family members who want to give to our dc send money to our account and I buy the gifts, label them, and put them under the tree. I'm not sure what to do either because this year dh's mom didn't send money so do I just leave it without anything from her? We absolutely don't have the money to buy something and put it under the tree anyway. We don't have the money to buy from us for our dc this year. I'm leaning towards not doing anything about it. Those are my thoughts for my dc. I would go with your heart! If you can compensate with your own gifts, and you feel like it's something you want to do, then do it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherry in OH Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 You might ask your sons if they would rather you buy them fewer more expensive gifts or more less expensive gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 I think it would depend on the number of gifts. Dd is an only child and only grandchild on both sides. She gets so much stuff that it is unreal. (I have tried to put a limit on the grandparents, yeah, that didn't work.) I've reduced the number of presents from mom and dad. She has never noticed. So if the boys get lots and lots that they won't even notice then they probably won't be upset at the loss of a couple gifts. On the other hand, if gifts are "scarce" you might want to add one or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 If those people aren't on earth to give any more then there should be fewer gifts. I think it is a life lesson...sort of. People in our lives means gifts. (Arrrgghhhh, that sounds terrible. I'm not very articulate this morning.) What I mean is that when we build relationships, there are people in our lives to give gifts. My sons were 10 and 4 when my mom died. She was a gift giver deluxe...so it was a financial 'hardship' when she wasn't there to give any more. See, she was the one who would have bought a bike if that's what one of the boys needed/wanted. It was hard that first few Christmases with out her because I NEEDED to compensate for the gifts she would have given them. So we bought way too much. But I've gotta tell ya, that was more for me than for them. Once I'd started that overcompensation, I couldn't find a graceful way to stop it....and my sons just thought gifts...more and more gifts...arrived for them each year. Not the lesson I intended them to learn. I wish I'd handled it differently. If you feel the need to spend a bit more or add an additional gift from you, do so. That's for you. But understand it's okay for there to be fewer gifts under the tree this year. It's a life cycle. Your kiddoes will survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 We no longer get gifts for the kids from my sil or my brotherandsil. Yeah, they noticed. But they still get plenty. I agree that kids gifts do get more expensive as they age. I think it's a natural thing, tho, to have less as you get older. It might help them appreciate what they had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMom2One Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Tell them the truth. They are old enough to understand. Perhaps it would also be a good time to get your dc involved with charity works or introduce some new traditions that will bring added meaning to Christmas. Blessings, Lucinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 On the other hand, if gifts are "scarce" you might want to add one or two. They probably get a total of six gifts each, with some of those being something like a paperback book. They usually get one big present (like a computer game or something) and the rest are quite small. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inactive Posted December 7, 2009 Share Posted December 7, 2009 Tell them the truth. They are old enough to understand. Perhaps it would also be a good time to get your dc involved with charity works or introduce some new traditions that will bring added meaning to Christmas. Blessings, Lucinda :iagree: -- besides Christmas isn't about the # of gifts under the tree...or at least it shouldn't be...;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 7, 2009 Author Share Posted December 7, 2009 :iagree: -- besides Christmas isn't about the # of gifts under the tree...or at least it shouldn't be...;) I'm feeling mean because we don't give them anything apart from at Christmas and birthdays. They get a small allowance (one pound per week for the younger, two pounds for the older) and we buy them no toys/amusements at all through the year. I guess I'm answering my own question. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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