Frustrated with my dyslexic 14yods

[Peela]

I just wonder if I am expecting too little, or too much, or if this is just perfectly normal and I jsut need to slog on. My son doesnt seem to suffer from particularly severe dyslexia- I have been told it is because of the way I have taught him over the years and he is actually quite dyslexic. He doesnt have all the symptoms though- he spells well and reads well.

 

I am just frustrated that he does so poorly so much of the time. I am sitting here marking his Latin and his LLATL, and there are just so many mistakes, even though he is still in Lesson 4 of Latin Prep after almost 2 years! ANd he has done all teh grammar in LLATL before, and he thinks its easy- but he gets so much wrong. It's just silly! . He doesn't care, he doesnt seem to take care. If I sit with him, he can do ok- but on his own, he just doesn't. I am finding it hard to know what to do with him. Whatever he learns, he forgets and we seem to have to start from scratch.

 

Is this pretty normal? He seems like a bright, smart kid to talk to. He is an emotional kid. He is obviously hormonal, but hes always been like this, really. He does improve. Then I feel like whats teh point? Whats the point in him learning Latin if he jsut forgets it all every day? He has been doing Latin for years now- and Latin Prep for 2- and we had to go back to the beginning. Not that we had got much further than we are now.

Perhaps it's lack of motivation. I can understand that. But I am frustrated with what to do. It seems often like slackness. But for the life of him, he often cant do things I think he shoudl be able to do, soncidering how many times we have gone over it.

 

 

Grrr. I came here because perhaps I will make someone else feel better about their struggle with their child, and perhaps someone can empathise? I just dont know what to do other than sit down and walk him through everything, and after so many years of that, I have honestly had enough, considering he resists me as well.

[Cynful]

I am sooooo with you. My 12yo is the same exact way including the dyslexia. He does well with me right there urging him on and giving him pointers, but leave him to do something on his own.... UGH. You'd think it was torture (for both of us). I can't decide if I've hand-held too much or its just the way he is and he'll come around eventually. I taught my 9yo daughter the same way though and she's not like this. So is it a girl/boy thing, a teaching issue, learning issues/dyslexia....... I don't know but I definitely empathize. He is better than he used to be so I have hope that it will get better. :)

[LizzyBee]

My 13 yo mildly dyslexic dd forgets everything. She will encounter a math problem and it's as though she's never seen that concept before. Every time we review grammar, it's as though she's never learned it before.

 

I finally decided to take this year to focus on foundational skills (math and writing), and forget about Logic, Latin, etc. She has never really enjoyed history, but this year she's making a timeline and loves it. I'm having her do some reading, but she seems to be learning more from the timeline than reading. She's taking a Science class which was overwhelming at first, but she's adjusted and is managing to keep up.

 

I have struggled with how hard to push her. Telling her that she needs to know this or have that skill for college doesn't motivate her, because she just says she won't go to college then. I do think I've made things a little too easy for her; I once read something about kids with LD's having learned helplessness, and I think I have inadvertently contributed to this in my dd. She wants to go to high school next year, and that's giving her some motivation to work harder; and I'm trying to be firmer about deadlines and how much work she needs to accomplish in a week's time.

Edited November 27, 2009 by LizzyBee

[lisabees]

Big hugs. My 13 year old is much the same. It is frustrating to mark papers with most things wrong and see the same words written three different ways. I have made changes to the programs I am using and find the more scripted and repetitious, the more successful he is and feels.

 

I have been wondering lately if it is (inattentive) ADD and becoming tempted to try meds. I have heard too many wonderful stories about kids suddenly able to focus and not make "silly" errors in their writing and tests. That would make my son feel like a superstar and not so stupid.

 

Just rambling! I know how you feel. :grouphug:

[Mandamom]

In my experience that is very typical with those who have dyslexia. Problems with memory, sequencing and spelling persist even after the reading part has been remediated, which it sounds like you have done. Great job!

 

Since many people with dyslexia have average to above average IQ it is expected that they will be very bright when talking to them but as soon as anything requiring reading or writing shows up it is as if no one has ever taught them how to read or write. One thing I have to say about dyslexia is that it is very inconsistent. I don't know how many times I teach something, think they have it and then find out we have to start all over again -- particularly in math.

 

My mom has dyslexia and frequently has to ask for help at work because she struggles with sequencing and organizing information while at the same time she is generally creating entire curricula for the school we both work at so that we can teach and educate those with dyslexia and other learning disabilities. Those staff who doesn't know she has dyslexia have no idea she has a learning disability. So for some dyslexia is more than a reading and writing problem.

[merry gardens]

I just wonder if I am expecting too little, or too much, or if this is just perfectly normal and I jsut need to slog on. My son doesnt seem to suffer from particularly severe dyslexia- I have been told it is because of the way I have taught him over the years and he is actually quite dyslexic. He doesnt have all the symptoms though- he spells well and reads well.

 

I am just frustrated that he does so poorly so much of the time. I am sitting here marking his Latin and his LLATL, and there are just so many mistakes, even though he is still in Lesson 4 of Latin Prep after almost 2 years! ANd he has done all teh grammar in LLATL before, and he thinks its easy- but he gets so much wrong. It's just silly! . He doesn't care, he doesnt seem to take care. If I sit with him, he can do ok- but on his own, he just doesn't. I am finding it hard to know what to do with him. Whatever he learns, he forgets and we seem to have to start from scratch.

 

Is this pretty normal? He seems like a bright, smart kid to talk to. He is an emotional kid. He is obviously hormonal, but hes always been like this, really. He does improve. Then I feel like whats teh point? Whats the point in him learning Latin if he jsut forgets it all every day? He has been doing Latin for years now- and Latin Prep for 2- and we had to go back to the beginning. Not that we had got much further than we are now.

Perhaps it's lack of motivation. I can understand that. But I am frustrated with what to do. It seems often like slackness. But for the life of him, he often cant do things I think he shoudl be able to do, soncidering how many times we have gone over it.

 

 

Grrr. I came here because perhaps I will make someone else feel better about their struggle with their child, and perhaps someone can empathise? I just dont know what to do other than sit down and walk him through everything, and after so many years of that, I have honestly had enough, considering he resists me as well.

Thanks for sharing. Struggling mom who empathizes with you and who feels better after reading your posts. My son's 8. Nice to read that your son's reading, spelling and writing responded to your teaching methods. Good work. I hope my son's reading and writing in English gets there too one day.

 

For what it's worth, I read that learning foreign languages can pose a particular difficulty for many children prone to dyslexia. Language emersion is often the best way for visual-spacial types to aquire foreign languages. Many people without dyslexia have problems learning foreign languages too, esp. Latin. I know it's hard to keep things in perspective, but try to recall what it was like working with your son learning to read when he was younger. Maybe that will put his Latin struggles in perspective. At least now your son struggles with Latin and not his native language--and very few people will assume your son is an idiot if he can't read Latin. Once again, good work!

[MerryAtHope]

Foreign languages and grammar can both be really hard for kids with dyslexia. So I'd say it's definitely within the scope of "normal" and may not at all be laziness.

 

Merry :-)

[elegantlion]

:grouphug: I've reached a level of frustration with my ds12 this year too. His dyslexia is mild but he's capable and ahead in some areas, behind in others. It's hard to gauge whether its lack of ability of simply lack of concern for the subject matter.

 

We've stopped our curriculum in one subject and are going back to the basics until after the first of the year. We'll see where he's at by then.

 

I wish I could see into his brain and see which way the information was going, either into the "I don't care and I'm hormonal so I quit" or the "This isn't processing correctly, help me understand it".

[Laurie4b]

I think it's likely enough that it is ADD inattentive type that I would get that checked out.

 

For concentration:

 

Tea (not just for the caffeine, but for other compounds)

Eggs (the choline in the yolk)

Protein at each meal and snack

Fish oil has been shown to help with ADD

 

Gotta go! I'll try to add more later--you can search threads on natural ADD for more.

[Stacy in NJ]

to dyslexia, sounds personality related.

 

How interested is he in his school work, really? Some kids just care a great deal about being accurate, doing well, being correct, and some just don't. It's just not that important to them. They're doing school to get it done, may have some moments of enjoyment or satisfaction, but it's not important to them whether they actually succeed or not.

 

I would try to make being accurate and detail oriented important to him, and that may involve rewards, incentives, and even punishments.

 

I'd scale back his work load to only those subjects that you feel are truely important, I'd also make double sure that the curriculum you're using is appropriate for his current abilities, a bit difficult is okay, overwhelming is not.

 

Give him his lessons as per usual, but then correct his work immediately and expect him to make all corrections immediately. Don't save them for the next day, don't allow him to move on to the next subject, don't overly assist him in correcting his work, don't end his day early. Expect resistance, trantrums, frustration and crying. If you are persistant and consistent in your expectations he will learn that it's so much earier to work carefully.

[Peela]

THankyou everyone, it was great to wake up to your posts this morning.

 

I have realised, not suprisingly, that it is a lot to do with me. Stacy, your post rang a bell for sure....I hate marking, and I get slack about it. He really needs me to mark his work immediately and go over it with him immediately. Having to remember it and go back to it the next day just doenst work.

 

I "know" all about diet etc...again, I have been slack. Back to the protein for breakfast, the fish oil, the brain gym and water etc

 

I spoke to dh last night. His recommendation is that I give ds a strict schedule and make him stick to it- and that it go till 3pm daily. Ds rushes through his work and finishes early. At first I was happy that there was a motivation, he stopped fighting me, and he was now working more independently- such a relief after so many years of me having to sit with him for everything. But now I realise it has swung to the other extreme, and he needs more structure and more input from me. So last night I drew up a timed schedule and we will give that a go.

 

And I am seriously considering dropping Latin for him. I will keep going till our summer holidays in 3 weeks and consider what to do over the holidays.

 

I think its a mixture of personality stuff, and LD tendencies. Its so hard to know which is which though!

 

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all of your responses.

[LanaTron]

First, I found this post because I searched on your name, trying to get more info on Connect the Thoughts. :001_smile:

 

Anyway...I don't know if my dd is dyslexic..she learned to read just fine, and devours books like there's no tomorrow. But she has always struggled with spelling, grammar, Latin, math, even writing...I guess that's about everything, huh? LOL (She is amazing, though, at remembering peoples' names, and working with people of all ages, in ways that I am not.)

 

Funny thing is, though, that once things click, she's excellent...like her addition/subtraction facts. Took her forever to get them, but now she knows them better than I.

 

Anyway, I can totally relate to what you said about your ds's struggles with Latin. My dd got through Latin Prep 1 chapter 3, and I had her start it over w/ the extra work in the workbooks. She's now been studying Sub-V-DO sentences (between LP and LfC) for at least 3 years, but will still not remember what case to put the direct object in. :confused: Or in English grammar, she has been diagramming simple sub/simple pred, for over a year, but will still mess that up. :001_huh:

 

I finally let her give up Latin. I figure that she has enough other work that she has to work hard in.

[MicheleinMN]

Peela,

 

Three out of four of my sons have dyslexia. My eldest son, 17 almost 18, just cannot seem to learn a foreign language. (Hey, he still struggles with grammar and spelling in English!) He's bright and can read well, but he absolutely NEEDS an editor before turning in any paper. My ds also struggles with math (which is actually just another foreign language in so many ways).

 

My ds, 13, is doing better in math and Latin, but I don't know how he'll ever keep up with high school level work starting next year.

 

My youngest ds, 8, is still struggling to learn to read (but is great at math so far, go figure).

 

I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone!

 

And if you find the answer .... please share!

[Peela]

 

I don't have any advice, but wanted you to know you are not alone!

 

And if you find the answer .... please share![/quote/ ]

 

Thanks Michele, I will.

It's interesting that foreign languages are often an issue for dyslexic kids. I hadnt before got to the point of possibly just forgetting foreign language at all. I had given up on French earlier in the year, after years of struggle and getting virtually no where. But I thought I would hang in there with Latin. I am beginning to feel what a relief it would be to stop Latin too, and just focus on other things. I am loathe to let go of Latin because I acutally enjoy it and in a way it makes me feel we are still doing some sort of semblage of a vaguely classical education, and if we drop Latin...well, I guess I cant live under that illusion any more :) Maybe thats a good thing, and it jsut doenst matter- what matters is making this work for us.

Edited November 27, 2009 by Peela

[Terabith]

With that much effort for that long a time with so little progress, I would drop the Latin. That just does NOT seem worth it. :grouphug:

[Peela]

With that much effort for that long a time with so little progress, I would drop the Latin. That just does NOT seem worth it. :grouphug:

 

I agree, but then today, my son had to translate a passage in LLATL into present tense- and for some reason he had never done that before and it was really, really hard for him. I never realised he had a problem with tenses before. Then we went to Latin, and it completely reinforced what we and just been doing in ENglish, and he understood it easier in Latin! Go figure.