ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Help!! I have tried everything I can possibly think of to help my 9 year old daughter to keep her room clean. It not from lack of organizational systems or plastic boxes for her things....her problem is that she has to stop being lazy and actually PUT her items away in the boxes and on the shelves...not just the closest horizontal spot. She is very artsy, so I don't know if that is part of her problem...I just threatened to put all of her stuff in boxes and totes if she can't keep it clean and organized...but I really didn't want to resort to that..unless there is no other option. Has anyone else dealt with this successfully? Please give me some tips!! Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Well, she is not being a good steward with what she has... so you do need to step in and remove those items which are not put away. Put them in a bag or box and put them in the attic/garage/your room. Tell her it is not a punishment, but rather, you're helping her to learn to take care of her things. When she takes care of her room for a week, then she can have 3 or 4 things back. When she shows that she can care for those things, then give her more back, and so on. If she slacks off in caring for her things, then you've given her more responsibility again, and it's time to box up those things again. Won't be long and she'll learn. :D (this idea is not my own, I heard it from Marcia Sommerville, the wonderful mom who created Tapestry of Grace. I have, however, used this idea, and can attest to it's effectiveness.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 The room my dds share is not exactly 'up to code' lol. But there is no molding food and no moldy clothing, so I count myself among the lucky, esp since they do laundry a couple of times a week. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redmom3 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have a friend (mother of 11) who has a really need website and a room inspection form. This really helps kids know exactly what is meant by "clean your room". http://www.flandersfamily.info/bedroom.html That said, my dd15 is a crafter/seamstress/collector etc and I have to close my eyes often to allow her some space for her "creativity":) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 Well, she is not being a good steward with what she has... so you do need to step in and remove those items which are not put away. Put them in a bag or box and put them in the attic/garage/your room. Tell her it is not a punishment, but rather, you're helping her to learn to take care of her things. When she takes care of her room for a week, then she can have 3 or 4 things back. When she shows that she can care for those things, then give her more back, and so on. If she slacks off in caring for her things, then you've given her more responsibility again, and it's time to box up those things again. Won't be long and she'll learn. :D (this idea is not my own, I heard it from Marcia Sommerville, the wonderful mom who created Tapestry of Grace. I have, however, used this idea, and can attest to it's effectiveness.) Yea, I guess that makes sense...is this something that is checked daily? or should I expect that her room is always clean and tidy and whenever I notice something out of place, I take it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cammie Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 We have the same problem here with 8 year old DD. Here is what I have figured out. She gets overwhelmed herself. She really doesn't mind cleaning up and getting organized but she needs me there with her to help her figure things out. There is too much decision making that needs to happend (do I keep this, where to keep it, is it trash, can I toss it, will mom get mad if I do??) So, every weekend we take an hour to re-organize the room. I am trying to make her more independent on this issue. During the week it is a matter only of dirty clothes getting into the hamper, towels getting off the floor, etc. I think I was under the impression that she should know how to clean up her room. But she needed guidance. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 We have the same problem here with 8 year old DD. Here is what I have figured out. She gets overwhelmed herself. She really doesn't mind cleaning up and getting organized but she needs me there with her to help her figure things out. There is too much decision making that needs to happend (do I keep this, where to keep it, is it trash, can I toss it, will mom get mad if I do??) So, every weekend we take an hour to re-organize the room. I am trying to make her more independent on this issue. During the week it is a matter only of dirty clothes getting into the hamper, towels getting off the floor, etc. I think I was under the impression that she should know how to clean up her room. But she needed guidance. Good luck! I have wondered that too. I guess where I get so frustrated is when I tell her to take "x" and put it away, why she just simply won't put it in it's proper place, but rather under her bed, in the baby doll crib, on the floor in the corner, a small hole between 2 books on her book shelf...basically anywhere BUT where it is suppose to go...UGH!!! Why is that??? can anyone tell me??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Yea, I guess that makes sense...is this something that is checked daily? or should I expect that her room is always clean and tidy and whenever I notice something out of place, I take it? I'd do a weekly or semi-weekly check. Sometimes our girls aren't finished with a project, so they want to leave it out for tomorrow. Taking things away daily will actually strip her of the security she needs: her things are safe, and she belongs in this home. So please don't do it daily. But do make it regular: perhaps every Friday evening and every Sunday evening. If your dd is like mine, she'll trash the place all weekend LOL, but a nice clean room first thing Monday sets the tone for the week. Let her know the 2 (or 1) night you'll be checking, and do follow through every time. It's all about training, which takes time and consistency. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Help!! I have tried everything I can possibly think of to help my 9 year old daughter to keep her room clean. It not from lack of organizational systems or plastic boxes for her things....her problem is that she has to stop being lazy and actually PUT her items away in the boxes and on the shelves...not just the closest horizontal spot. She is very artsy, so I don't know if that is part of her problem...I just threatened to put all of her stuff in boxes and totes if she can't keep it clean and organized...but I really didn't want to resort to that..unless there is no other option. Has anyone else dealt with this successfully? Please give me some tips!! Kathy You might try what has worked for us. (Dd7's rug is covered with her stuff. She just doesn't like to put things away!) Get pregnant with long-begged-for little sister. Tell dd that the crib can be in *her* room: the girls can share a room. BUT there has to be a place cleared for the crib and there must be space to walk around it. :tongue_smilie: Voila: motivation! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 You might try what has worked for us. (Dd7's rug is covered with her stuff. She just doesn't like to put things away!) Get pregnant with long-begged-for little sister. Tell dd that the crib can be in *her* room: the girls can share a room. BUT there has to be a place cleared for the crib and there must be space to walk around it. :tongue_smilie: Voila: motivation! :lol: thanks, but no thanks...I love my 3 blessings...and would prefer not to be blessed anymore...:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 I'd do a weekly or semi-weekly check. Sometimes our girls aren't finished with a project, so they want to leave it out for tomorrow. Taking things away daily will actually strip her of the security she needs: her things are safe, and she belongs in this home. So please don't do it daily. But do make it regular: perhaps every Friday evening and every Sunday evening. If your dd is like mine, she'll trash the place all weekend LOL, but a nice clean room first thing Monday sets the tone for the week. Let her know the 2 (or 1) night you'll be checking, and do follow through every time. It's all about training, which takes time and consistency. ;) ok..that makes sense...thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara Mac Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Have you got my 9 yr old? :lol: I can live with a bit of mess in her room but what really, really bugs me is the craft stuff - bits of paper, ribbon, you name it it overflows off her desk onto the floor and she.just.can't.see.it! :glare: Motivation is a winner but unfortunately it wore off pretty quick with my DD. She wanted hermit crabs and was told that her room needed to be kept clean if she wanted them for her birthday. Well, her room stayed spotless for 6 whole weeks (her sister's room was another story) but after having the crabs for a few weeks the room started to deteriorate again until I took the crabs out of there. I'm still to find some sort of system that works so I'll be watching this thread with interest :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zaichiki Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 thanks, but no thanks...I love my 3 blessings...and would prefer not to be blessed anymore...:001_smile: :lol: I hear you! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midwestbelle Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 and it seems the biggest problem is her bringing in new "collections" of stuff. She can't stand for anything to be thrown away because she "can use it for something." She shares a room with a neat freak twin sister and there is a constant battle. I've found that I have to get involved and help with the room every couple of weeks to get some things into the garbage can. I wish we had a place big enough for her to store all of her treasures, but we just don't. They each have a under the bed storage container for treasures and if it doesn't fit it has to go away. We are also going to be cleaning out everyone's room in a couple of weeks to allow for a few Christmas presents to be brought in. When we get the rooms cleaned out they really do enjoy it better and can be more creative because they can find thier stuff! I just need to do a better job of checking up on them and having time set aside for purging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Well, she is not being a good steward with what she has... so you do need to step in and remove those items which are not put away. Put them in a bag or box and put them in the attic/garage/your room. Tell her it is not a punishment, but rather, you're helping her to learn to take care of her things. When she takes care of her room for a week, then she can have 3 or 4 things back. When she shows that she can care for those things, then give her more back, and so on. If she slacks off in caring for her things, then you've given her more responsibility again, and it's time to box up those things again. Won't be long and she'll learn. :D :iagree: This is exactly what I do. Saturday mornings are clean-up time. I tell DD7 that I will be coming into her room at noon, and anything lying on the floor, or shoved into some random place just to get it off the floor, is going into a box, and the box is going into the garage. Then I do it. The next week, if the room is clean by noon on Saturday, she can choose to get back several things from the box in the garage. If it's not, more things go away, until the number of things in her room is what she can manage to keep tidy. She has plenty of labeled bins and drawers, so there is no excuse for not knowing where things go. I also encourage (but don't require) a quick "pick up" before bedtime each night, and point out that putting things away as you use them makes for a much shorter cleaning spree on Saturday, and a lower risk of having things taken away. Luckily for me, DS11 is quite tidy; it only takes him about 10 minutes to clean his room on Saturdays and he's been doing his own laundry since he was 8. :001_smile: Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yslek Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 This book might have some good ideas for what might work for her: http://www.amazon.com/Every-Child-Thinking-Style-Preferences/dp/0399532463/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255060549&sr=8-1. I've used some of these ideas to simplify B & T's room. (Especially clothes. They each have a bar to hang most stuff on, and three bins beneath each bar to throw socks&undies/PJs/Shorts into.) That said, even with the easiest-to-clean room on the planet (or so it seems), they still need to be reminded to actually do it. Last week it took them 3 days to get everything off the floor (and they only have one category of toy in their room!) Now that I think of it, I probalby need to check up there again. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 For us it's a daily task and I check most days. If it goes more than a day or two, then it gets too overwhelming for Hobbes to cope with. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 As part of morning chores, each bed must be made, and rooms neat (nothing on the floor, things put away). Then again before bed, things need to be put away again. (There can be exceptions approved by me for a special project or something.) I insist on this for safety reasons. More often than not someone is walking around in the dark (me or dh or a dc). I don't want someone getting hurt or something getting broken unneccessarily. But I set an example with my own room, and try to keep the rest of the house neat as well. I can't expect them to value something that I don't show that I value myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 My 12yo dd has always been this way. She is creative and artsy. She is always making things and leaving little piles of stuff everywhere, especially her room. The rule around here is beds made, rooms tidy and picked up every morning before school starts. I have made an exception to my 12yo's desk in her room where she usually has some kind of project going. Even requiring for her room to be tidy every morning, she has piles of stuff she brings out from somewhere (I'm thinking under her bed) on the weekends when I actually inspect for neatness before we clean house. As long as it gets done really well once a week and it "looks" tidy every morning, I can live with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have wondered that too. I guess where I get so frustrated is when I tell her to take "x" and put it away, why she just simply won't put it in it's proper place, but rather under her bed, in the baby doll crib, on the floor in the corner, a small hole between 2 books on her book shelf...basically anywhere BUT where it is suppose to go...UGH!!! Why is that??? can anyone tell me??? Because she's a child and, to her, any place that gets the toy out of the line of vision quickly so she can get on with whatever she was doing when you so rudely interrupted her by asking her to put it away is good enough. I've got a few tools I use to keep the clutter down, not just in bedrooms but everywhere. Before watching any t.v. or doing anything other than school really, the kids "take a walk" meaning they go through the house and pick up (and supposedly put away) anything that they played with or anything that belongs to them. We usually do this right before Dad gets home from work also. We also have a "15 minute pick up" a couple times a week where everyone pitches in to straighten and clean the house. Sometimes the pick up includes bedrooms, sometimes not. For bedrooms, we ask that the room be relatively neat before kids come to school. On weeks when they are letting it slide, I set a day for the room to be put in order from top to bottom and on that day anything that is out of place belongs to me. I usually offer a reminder the day before I go in with my box so they aren't losing too much. I do have children that will leave things on the floor saying, "I didn't want that." As a result, I now give them a box to hold the things in that they don't want. I think that defining what a "clean room" is to you is important. And be willing to listen to why your daughter might not want to clean certain things each day. I know my son creates stories with his animals and guys. For me to ask him to put those away daily would be devastating. We compromise with him being able to keep them out as long as there is a path to his bed that I won't step on anything, especially anything hard and plastic. He does have to totally clean his room weekly to vacuum but he doesn't have to pick everything up everyday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 This thread has been very helpful to me...lots of thoughts, ideas and strategies to try. Thanks so much!! If you are so inclined..keep it coming...the more ideas the better!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caribbean Queen Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 As part of morning chores, each bed must be made, and rooms neat (nothing on the floor, things put away). Then again before bed, things need to be put away again. (There can be exceptions approved by me for a special project or something.)I insist on this for safety reasons. More often than not someone is walking around in the dark (me or dh or a dc). I don't want someone getting hurt or something getting broken unneccessarily. But I set an example with my own room, and try to keep the rest of the house neat as well. I can't expect them to value something that I don't show that I value myself. :iagree: Schedule time for her to straighten up her room once, or twice a day. Once a week she can change her sheets, dust, vacuum, and make everything extra neat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted October 9, 2009 Author Share Posted October 9, 2009 :iagree: Schedule time for her to straighten up her room once, or twice a day. Once a week she can change her sheets, dust, vacuum, and make everything extra neat. We do workboxes in our home...so maybe I could put in one of her boxes..."Go and tidy up your room". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Because I believe it shows that you have respect for what you have been given. It takes training but on my kids chore charts is a 10 minute room tidy. Every day, they spend 10 minutes cleaning a portion of their room. They rotate around the room during the week. This way it never gets out of hand. They are not always great about it but it works pretty well. When our oldest has blown us off for a week and it is trashed, she loses tv, outside activities and internet for a week and has to spend the day cleaning it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Oh, have you looked at flyladies student control journel? http://www.flylady.net/index.asp towards the bottom on the right hand side there is a free print out for kids. It actually breaks their rooms down into different zones to do each day so they dont get overwhelmed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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