Cross-posted: My 8th grader is struggling and I'm unsympathetic

[ondreeuh]

I posted this on the K-8 board and got some good advice but also a fair bit of "you're doing it wrong!" It was suggested to me that I cross-post it here for BTDT advice.

 

 

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My 8th grade DD, turning 14 this month, has never been a strong student. Now, she's smart, but she has never really gotten the knack of working hard. I think it mostly boils down to her inability to give herself a kick in the pants. Frankly, I don't want to do it either! I give her suggestions, tips, and tools, but I do NOT want to hover over her. This is a long-standing issue and she even took a study skills class last year (the least-organized kids were nominated for the class) but almost got kicked out for not being organized enough. :001_huh:

 

This is her first year fully homeschooling. She is having big problems getting her work done efficiently - so she spends her entire day "doing her homework" (ha!) and then feels overwhelmed and like she has too much to do. Honestly, I do NOT think it's too much work. Here's what a typical week looks like:

 

Daily:

A History of US: 2-3 chapters, briefly outlined in a notebook

Chalkdust Algebra 1: (video + review problems one day, every-other-odd the next day)

Tom Sawyer: 2 chapters per day with brief comprehension questions from Lightning Lit

Vocabulary from Classical Roots: Daily study

Saxophone practice: 20 min (which she rarely gets done)

 

M/W/F:

PH Science Explorer: One section and guided study/review worksheets

 

T/Th:

Easy Grammar Plus: one lesson w/ me

Critical Thinking: one lesson w/ me

 

I know her subjects are a *little* time-intensive, but it's not nearly as rigorous as I'd like. I'm trying to prepare her for high school, as she plans to return to PS next year for 9th.

 

She wastes a ton of time doing NOTHING. A few times I have checked on her and found her curled up in bed asleep with her history book on her face. :glare: Way too many times I have caught her online. She has a puter in her bedroom so she can do her Algebra DVDs and her SmartMusic (interactive practice program) there, and I don't think there's an easy way to turn off 'net access.

 

Here are the tips I have given her:

- Try to get all math done between 8:30-9:30 (we leave for her writing class at 9:30) so that you get that out of the way and start the day feeling accomplished

- Keep the computer OFF until you absolutely need it for Algebra or music

- Make goals for how long your subject should take (60 min. for math, 45 for history, lit and science) and set a timer and try to finish before time's up

-Read ahead (lit) on the weekends to lighten the load on the weekdays

 

She need silence/no distractions while she works, and in our house the only quiet place is her bedroom, which clearly isn't working too well. Tonight I forced her to sit at the dining room table after her brothers were in bed, and she still spent probably a half hour complaining that she was too upset, frustrated and overwhelmed to concentrate. I finally told her to go cry in her room about it (nice, I know) because I was tired of listening to her wallow in self-pity and not make any effort to DO anything about it. I finally set a timer and left the room and that got her moving.

 

I sweet-talked her into homeschooling with stories of a rigorous education that would prepare her for H.S. honors classes, as well as free time to pursue her other interests. Well now I'm worried that neither will happen. She signed up for NaNoWriMo (challenge to write a 50k word novel during the month of November) but I don't see HOW she will find time. She also plans to enter a couple of writing & art contests which I really want to encourage.

 

I also added (for the benefit of those who assumed I was banishing her to a separate floor with no adult interaction or opportunity for socialization :001_rolleyes:):

 

Her bedroom is directly off from the living room so she is not far away. I check in about hourly. It's definitely not complete isolation and independence!

 

She has a printed assignment calendar each week to show her her assignments, and she has clearly defined "school hours."

 

8:30-9:30 - school work (ideally math)

9:30-11:15 - away from home for writing elective

11:15-1:30 - school work (usually history & Lit)

1:30-3:00 - away from home for band

3 + school work. (science or grammar/logic) and finish up other work.

 

I was trying to be flexible and allow her some freedom to choose which subjects to do when, but I do think I need to set a timer and say "time's up, 15 min break and then on to the next subject" so that she has that looming thread of "homework" to motivate her. That's a natural consequence, which I prefer.

 

Also - I have considered ADD but I think her distractibility CAN be managed.

 

Please, if you have any advice I would love to hear it. I have had enough people tell me on K-8 that 6+ hours of "school" including breaks and electives is too much work, and that I should be giving her constant feedback and supervision, both of which I disagree with, so I'm looking for "other" advice. :001_smile:

[AuntieM]

I think you are on the right track giving her a timed schedule. Be sure that the assignment is one that really can be accomplished in the amount of time allotted, no sense setting her up to fail.

 

I have my stubborn 7th graders move on to the next subject when it's time. Yes, it frustrates them to quit in the middle or when nearly finished, but it gives them an incentive to work faster the next day. Any work that didn't get finished in the allotted time is "homework" and must be completed that afternoon or evening in lieu of free time.

 

And, honestly.... I would nix going out for band in the afternoon. It is disruptive to the day. I really don't know what level of necessity you place on this activity, but if this were my home, I would let my child know that it's a privilege reserved for those who complete their academic subjects in a timely manner, and that it could be added back once she demonstrates a willingness to get the other subjects tackled.

 

Just my 2 cents. Oh, one more thing. I don't think you really expect a student to work independently successfully if you haven't trained them into it. You may need to sit with her while she works to help her learn to stay on task. I realize you wanted answers other than recommending more supervision, but, I think it is a valid point whether you like it or not (hope you know I am saying that very gently!).

 

I am editing to add more here, that's with your regard to starting with math first. I know that starting fresh is the prevailing attitude that seems to always stick math as the first thing on the agenda. However, when you make a schedule, i recommend scheduling the "most likely to send your day downhill" subject as NOT the first thing. I have one child that cannot start her day with math, she simply can't do it, it gets her into such a mental lock-up that the rest of the day is not as good as it could be. She does other things first, then we tackle the math. I don't know if perhaps this is what is happening with your dd, but it's worth considering. It may only be her tough subjects which require your supervision, if you can figure out her biggest challenge areas and work on them first, it may help everything else go more smoothly.

Edited October 8, 2009 by AuntieM

[ondreeuh]

I think you are on the right track giving her a timed schedule. Be sure that the assignment is one that really can be accomplished in the amount of time allotted, no sense setting her up to fail.

 

I have my stubborn 7th graders move on to the next subject when it's time. Yes, it frustrates them to quit in the middle or when nearly finished, but it gives them an incentive to work faster the next day. Any work that didn't get finished in the allotted time is "homework" and must be completed that afternoon or evening in lieu of free time.

 

We are definitely going to try this ... it's funny, when she was little, she panicked at the mention of a timer. It was way too much pressure. I guess she still fears it a little bit (well not REALLY, just wants to beat it).

 

And, honestly.... I would nix going out for band in the afternoon. It is disruptive to the day. I really don't know what level of necessity you place on this activity, but if this were my home, I would let my child know that it's a privilege reserved for those who complete their academic subjects in a timely manner, and that it could be added back once she demonstrates a willingness to get the other subjects tackled.

 

If she leaves band, she cannot join again (it's through the public school). I'll check with her instructor to see if he would make an exception. She gets a lot out of it so I hate to give it up.

 

Just my 2 cents. Oh, one more thing. I don't think you really expect a student to work independently successfully if you haven't trained them into it. You may need to sit with her while she works to help her learn to stay on task.

 

I'm trying to find that middle-ground - supervising without duct-taping her to the chair :D Your advice is appreciated!

[Miss Marple]

I can truly sympathize! Some kids are just, by nature, less organized and motivated. And since this is really her first year to completely homeschool, she's going to have to find her "groove". It sounds like you are doing the right things in giving her suggestions. I would add a couple of things that I have found effective when my kids were like this:

 

1. Instead of a general time schedule, I gave a specific time schedule. Rather than have my boys complete an assigned number of problems, they had to work for a specified time. I could usually figure out how much work could be done in that time and so made the time assignment match the work I wanted done. But they seemed to accept a time limit rather than a work limit more readily. For example: Math - 9:00 - 9:50; 10 minute bathroom/snack break; 10:00-10:30 Vocabulary; 10:35-11:00 Spelling; etc. After a while of doing this, I morphed the schedule into one which was assignment oriented.

 

2. I have found that ANYTHING that takes us out of the house during the morning school hours throws the boys off. We schedule ALL outside activities to be done either first thing in the morning (before 9:00) or in the afternoon (after 2:00). I just cannot get them to settle back into the school routine with an interruption. While it might not be possible to do now, you might reconsider the writing course next semester.

 

3. Does she like band? At the high school level I have allowed my boys to determine whether they want to continue musical training. Two of my boys are more musically inclined than the others. We required 3 years of music training in elementary/junior high, but beyond that, if they weren't interested, we let them quit. If she just doesn't want to do it anymore, you'll be fighting a battle that might not be worth winning.

 

4. I've also found that requiring any school work (beyond reading) after 3:00 led to poor performance and little retention. My 11th grader, though, now works "round the clock", but he has just developed that skill this year due to taking concurrent courses and working. My current 9th grader is completely worthless (school-wise) after 3:00.

 

5. I would suggest that you watch her computer time - it's easy for the kids to watch their required dvds, then easily check e-mail, facebook, etc. My boys can only have the computer on for the time it takes to watch the dvd. Then it goes off - major penalties if I find it back on.

 

Your daughter may never be as completely organized and motivated as you might hope. But by watching her and learning her habits and showing her how her habits are hurting her, you can help her see the need to become more organized. My boys all improved...it just took time and maturity and a lot of input on the part of mom.

 

Best wishes

[AuntieM]

One more one more thing... I would make a no-schoolwork-on-your-bed rule, with the possible exception of free reading.

[ondreeuh]

Good idea :)

[ondreeuh]

I can truly sympathize! Some kids are just, by nature, less organized and motivated. And since this is really her first year to completely homeschool, she's going to have to find her "groove". It sounds like you are doing the right things in giving her suggestions. I would add a couple of things that I have found effective when my kids were like this:

 

1. Instead of a general time schedule, I gave a specific time schedule. Rather than have my boys complete an assigned number of problems, they had to work for a specified time. I could usually figure out how much work could be done in that time and so made the time assignment match the work I wanted done. But they seemed to accept a time limit rather than a work limit more readily. For example: Math - 9:00 - 9:50; 10 minute bathroom/snack break; 10:00-10:30 Vocabulary; 10:35-11:00 Spelling; etc. After a while of doing this, I morphed the schedule into one which was assignment oriented.

 

2. I have found that ANYTHING that takes us out of the house during the morning school hours throws the boys off. We schedule ALL outside activities to be done either first thing in the morning (before 9:00) or in the afternoon (after 2:00). I just cannot get them to settle back into the school routine with an interruption. While it might not be possible to do now, you might reconsider the writing course next semester.

 

3. Does she like band? At the high school level I have allowed my boys to determine whether they want to continue musical training. Two of my boys are more musically inclined than the others. We required 3 years of music training in elementary/junior high, but beyond that, if they weren't interested, we let them quit. If she just doesn't want to do it anymore, you'll be fighting a battle that might not be worth winning.

 

4. I've also found that requiring any school work (beyond reading) after 3:00 led to poor performance and little retention. My 11th grader, though, now works "round the clock", but he has just developed that skill this year due to taking concurrent courses and working. My current 9th grader is completely worthless (school-wise) after 3:00.

 

5. I would suggest that you watch her computer time - it's easy for the kids to watch their required dvds, then easily check e-mail, facebook, etc. My boys can only have the computer on for the time it takes to watch the dvd. Then it goes off - major penalties if I find it back on.

 

Your daughter may never be as completely organized and motivated as you might hope. But by watching her and learning her habits and showing her how her habits are hurting her, you can help her see the need to become more organized. My boys all improved...it just took time and maturity and a lot of input on the part of mom.

 

Best wishes

 

Thank you! Great input. I am taking it to heart.

 

The writing elective is 1 semester - next it is ceramics. Hopefully that's alongside band.

 

She loves band (and band camp) and this is the only feasible opportunity for her to participate.

 

Dd is motivated to limit computer. She says she wants to turn it completely off while she's doing her other subjects (otherwise she stares at the screen saver :tongue_smilie:)

 

Thanks again.

[Cedarmom]

You've had some great advice so far. Ditto on it all. I would also say no omputer until math time. If you catch her using computer on not allowed times she will be banned from using it for personal reasons at all until you feel she has earned your trust back. I dealt with this with my son at times. You can get cyber patrol or other programs that only allow your child on at certain times.

[Susan C.]

The Chalkdust Algebra 1 in 8th grade might be a problem.....I haven't had time to read all of the posts, but at our house, Chalkdust Prealgebra & Algebra were too hard in younger years and took forever to do.... and I would have never even attempted algebra in 8th grade, neither of my kids would have been ready for algebra in 8th grade. Unless your child is a math whiz, I would be tempted to put it away for a year and get Teaching Textbooks Algebra 1 (easier Algebra 1), or BJU Prealgebra (went very well for our dd in 8th grade and the whole year I wished I had used it for ds). HTH, I'll try to read the rest of the posts later.

[ondreeuh]

Thanks for the tip. She is actually doing well with it and needs little help - then we go through the problem together and bring out the solutions manual to verify we've done it correctly. I'll keep it in mind if she starts to have trouble.

[bugs]

If this is true it still might require a little time to adjust - for both of you.

 

I know you are trying to let your dd be in charge of her organization but if she hasn't really done this by herself it is one more thing to learn. I have to tell you that I homeschool someone else's child and I asked his mom to help him plan out his weeks (btw I scheduled everthing for him last year). She did not and as a result he is behind and missed several items that are passed due. I got on her case about it. So, this week is going smoother for him. I think some kids need their hand held for awhile, especially in their early adolescent years. The other point is that I think having this boy's mother show more interest ahead of time, has helped his attitude as well. It sounds like you do show interest, btw. This has been my experience.

 

As a side note, my daughter was born organized and so she has no difficuties working out her week, but my son.... You just need to look in his room to tell that I will be helping him for the next couple of years :tongue_smilie:.

 

One other thing. I concur with the other posters that interrupting your school day is difficult. I have, and wouldn't do it again. The kids take a Mon/Wed homeschool band class at 0900 hrs and even though it's at the beginning of the day there is a lack of momentum when we get home.

[Starr]

I have a 13 year old that can loose the day in thoughts.. I check every 5 math problems as he goes. It seems not to be so daunting and he can fix any mistakes immediately. We don't have any fun computer time until all school work is done. One of my dc can work alone, the other needs to be in the kitchen where I can join him or drop in and out. I would keep working on ways to help her get organized and stay on task but it might take a while. Maybe that could be your big goal for this year. We always say that the kids are still home because they aren't fully cooked yet. Enjoy having her home.

[Susan C.]

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My 8th grade DD, turning 14 this month, has never been a strong student. Now, she's smart, but she has never really gotten the knack of working hard. I think it mostly boils down to her inability to give herself a kick in the pants. Frankly, I don't want to do it either! I give her suggestions, tips, and tools, but I do NOT want to hover over her. This is a long-standing issue and she even took a study skills class last year (the least-organized kids were nominated for the class) but almost got kicked out for not being organized enough. :001_huh:

 

Daily:

A History of US: 2-3 chapters, briefly outlined in a notebook

Chalkdust Algebra 1: (video + review problems one day, every-other-odd the next day)

Tom Sawyer: 2 chapters per day with brief comprehension questions from Lightning Lit

Vocabulary from Classical Roots: Daily study

Saxophone practice: 20 min (which she rarely gets done)

 

M/W/F:

PH Science Explorer: One section and guided study/review worksheets

 

T/Th:

Easy Grammar Plus: one lesson w/ me

Critical Thinking: one lesson w/ me

 

 

She wastes a ton of time doing NOTHING. A few times I have checked on her and found her curled up in bed asleep with her history book on her face. :glare: Way too many times I have caught her online. She has a puter in her bedroom so she can do her Algebra DVDs and her SmartMusic (interactive practice program) there, and I don't think there's an easy way to turn off 'net access.

 

I sweet-talked her into homeschooling with stories of a rigorous education that would prepare her for H.S. honors classes, as well as free time to pursue her other interests. Well now I'm worried that neither will happen. She signed up for NaNoWriMo (challenge to write a 50k word novel during the month of November) but I don't see HOW she will find time. She also plans to enter a couple of writing & art contests which I really want to encourage.

 

She has a printed assignment calendar each week to show her her assignments, and she has clearly defined "school hours."

 

8:30-9:30 - school work (ideally math)

9:30-11:15 - away from home for writing elective

11:15-1:30 - school work (usually history & Lit)

1:30-3:00 - away from home for band

3 + school work. (science or grammar/logic) and finish up other work.

 

Please, if you have any advice I would love to hear it. I have had enough people tell me on K-8 that 6+ hours of "school" including breaks and electives is too much work, and that I should be giving her constant feedback and supervision, both of which I disagree with, so I'm looking for "other" advice. :001_smile:

 

OK, I'm back...her schedule is pretty bad.... too much start and stop, coming and going. I'll give it my best shot, you won't hurt my feelings if you don't like it! My dd is in 10th grade, and I see a lot of her in your post! Our 8th grade went pretty well, but we don't leave the house... she did BJU Prealgebra, Hakim US History series (like you, she read 2-3 chapters/day), Apologia Physical Science, BJU Writing & Grammar & Lit, Spelling Workout, Wordly Wise, and Keyboarding. Your dd is doing a lot more, and has less time to do it. I may consider the following:

 

-cut Tom Sawyer to one chap/day because she is doing a lot of other language arts

-I would let her do whatever she can do quickly in that one hour block in the morning, maybe a lot of small workbook things, my dd cannot stand to do math in the morning...

-if at all possible, get rid of that morning class (by 3:00 you have only had 3 hours at home, that would be a disaster for us), then you can try to be all finished except for math before band, then do math when you get home since it isn't hard for her

 

I am thinking she can't get into a routine, and that is a lot of your problem. My dd is into routine, she likes to do the same thing at the same time each day. I do sit with her regularly (not while she does school, we have "meetings") and go over what she is doing and how long she needs to do things, and she surprises me with great ideas. We also do every subject every day, so you do less and can cover more subjects.

 

HTH! ...this too shall pass :)

[tex-mex]

Quick thoughts...

 

* Do not start your day with Math. (Ask me how I know... lol)

* Too many breaks will affect the transition from lesson to lesson.

* This is your first year HSing. It takes time to develop study skills.

* I would drop the extra chapter of reading.

* Change your schedule -- or curriculum -- it is not working?

* Eliminate distractions like computer, etc. I wonder if a chair in her bedroom would help to study in? What is her learning style?

 

One red flag I am wondering is how bad is the distractibility? If there is some indication it is ADD/ADHD... then using a timer is the worst thing you can do. It only creates more anxiety and distraction. You did say she needed to learn how to organize and be in a special class? That is a sign that something could be amiss besides distractibility. Could there be a legit issue or (mild) learning disability? Bright students can have LDs... not a sign of low intelligence. Just means they learn differently.

 

You will need to break down the task into smaller steps and for the first couple of weeks (months?), be there to monitor and guide her to be on task. After a while, study skill behavior and routine will set in... and you can back off. But some kids need guidance. It isn't fair to expect them to do the task independently without parameters or skills. She may have no idea?

Edited October 9, 2009 by tex-mex

[74Heaven]

I have a 17yod who can't have the computer there. In fact, the temptation is just too much for her. I don't understand why she can't watch algebra DVDs/CDRoms at another computer or have a laptop that is taken into her room only at that algebra / music time.

 

Btw if my dtr was online during school, that power cord for the computer would be well-hidden or in my possession until algebra or music time.

 

Esp if you suspect attention issues, remove the distractions you can.

 

Also, is she reading/studying in bed or on her bed. If so, she needs a desk/table and chair instead. I would make the bed off limits if she is ever studying there.

 

There is a ''mother's saying'' that ''you get what you INSPECT''. That applies here, regular checking over her work and probably a carrot and a stick will probably give your dtr the accountability she needs.

 

I give you my sympathy because the last 2 years of school, my then 15yo and then 16yo got moved out of her room into the school room because she just couldn't be trusted to get things done in her room. Now I have her younger sister doing very well in her room; getting things done, staying on task, etc.

 

Could she start earlier.. It would seem more doable if school was over at 130p when she left for band...

 

lisaj, mom to 5

Edited October 9, 2009 by 74Heaven
another thought

[ondreeuh]

Quick thoughts...

 

* Do not start your day with Math. (Ask me how I know... lol)

* Too many breaks will affect the transition from lesson to lesson.

* This is your first year HSing. It takes time to develop study skills.

* I would drop the extra chapter of reading.

* Change your schedule -- or curriculum -- it is not working?

* Eliminate distractions like computer, etc. I wonder if a chair in her bedroom would help to study in? What is her learning style?

 

One red flag I am wondering is how bad is the distractibility? If there is some indication it is ADD/ADHD... then using a timer is the worst thing you can do. It only creates more anxiety and distraction. You did say she needed to learn how to organize and be in a special class? That is a sign that something could be amiss besides distractibility. Could there be a legit issue or (mild) learning disability? Bright students can have LDs... not a sign of low intelligence. Just means they learn differently.

 

You will need to break down the task into smaller steps and for the first couple of weeks (months?), be there to monitor and guide her to be on task. After a while, study skill behavior and routine will set in... and you can back off. But some kids need guidance. It isn't fair to expect them to do the task independently without parameters or skills. She may have no idea?

 

Hi there; it's late and I need to get to bed but I will answer your Qs (and please understand it's not that I'm defensive, I just like to clarify, and I feel like when someone takes the time to try to help that I owe them a response!)

 

First of all she had a fantastic day today (go figure). She is a wonderful kid and very self-aware, and she really wants to be more efficient so she has more free time. She did an hour of math (yesterday's assignment) before her first elective. When she came home, she fixed herself lunch and sat with a timer to figure out how much time her subjects actually take. She did her history (30 min.) & lit (20 min.) while I took her brother to the dentist. After band, we did her grammar and logic together and I quizzed her on vocab (30 min. altogether). Then she did today's math and was done by 5. This including some breaks to wrestle w/ her brothers and stretch. She then watched the movie Pocahontas so that she could get extra credit for comparing/contrasting the Disney version to the true story. :lol:

 

- She usually does math later in the day but by then is kind of "done." Today she did it in the morning and did great! We'll play with this.

- The two trips to school are disruptive, I agree, but they are worth the disruption. Neither she nor I are willing to give one of them up. School is only a 10 min. round trip anyway, and it keeps us on a schedule.

- She has no complaints about the curriculum. She doesn't particularly love the outlining & study guide, but she understands that she doesn't retain enough w/o them and she knows it's good practice for high school, so she's on board.

- She does have a desk w/ chair in her bedroom. Today she did nearly all her work at the dining room table which is where I normally work w/ her brother so this weekend I am going to put a small table in the kitchen.

 

She has many signs of ADD. No LDs though. The study skills class was for "flaky" kids whose teachers identified them as having poor organization. She learned techniques such as estimating the time for homework assignments, prioritizing them, creating a good environment, checking things off, and having the parent sign off. The problem came when she would forget to stay late for the class and would just come home on the bus :glare:. Or she would forget to have me sign it - and I tried to find the balance between assisting her, and helping her learn from natural consequences. It's not easy.

 

Thanks for the constructive feedback. I appreciate it!

[EKS]

Aside from the schedule problem, which others have mentioned, I have one observation. Many kids--maybe most kids, I don't know--would not thrive simply being given some work and being told to go do it. This is not about supervision or feedback, but rather about a relationship that develops between a teacher and student. I'm sure there are many ways to go about this but I will just show you how I would approach the work you have laid out.

 

Math--I'd watch the video with her and then have her do the problems on her own. If the lesson is tricky, I'd do a few practice problems with her.

 

History--I'd read the text to her and discuss it, perhaps even having her do the comprehension questions orally. I'd then assign historical fiction for her to read on her own. I would not have her outline A History of US--it wanders too much.

 

Literature--I'd have her read the book on her own. I'd do the comprehension questions orally with her. Have her do a larger essay or project at the end (Lighting Lit may assign one, I'm not sure).

 

Vocabulary--I'd go over the words with her, making sure she can pronounce and read everything. I'd have her do the exercises herself, but if you're having her write sentences, I'd have her tell you the sentences instead, with you making up sentences after her.

 

Science--I'd read this to her and discuss, have her do the comprehension questions orally, and then have her outline the text. This text lends itself to outlining much better than A History of US.

 

I also have a 13yo and a 7yo, so I understand the problems with juggling.

[jibaker103]

Your dd and my ds are twins!! Everything you have brought up I am dealing with, so I know just how frustrating it is. For me the best solutions so far are:

 

1. Remove tv and computer from bedroom. He invariably was on it at times when he should be studying or sleeping. Temptation is just too high!

 

2. Do not allow any studying in bedroom. Even though he had a desk and a reading area he chose to get in bed and would automatically get sleepy.

 

3. Work somewhere that is quiet but in plain sight such as the office when I and the daycare kids are in the family room and in the family room on the computer when they are asleep.

 

4. Moved his command center with workboxes to a centralized area so I could see him go back and forth with the next set of books.

 

5. Workboxes have been a lifesaver for such a disorganized and lack of time management type of person. All books and materials are in each box and he must do them in a certain order, not move on to the next box until current box is complete and spot checked by me. I try to get him to use a timer with each box but it has not been to successful. However, the spot check gives me an idea of how long it is taking him.

 

6. I also have my own workbox so that I stay organized and he cannot use not having materials as an excuse for not doing his work.

 

7. Let go of schedules based on time. One day he would be up at 7:00 the next 10! My only guidelines are that school must start by 10:00 and all assignments turned in by 3:30 or it becomes homework to be done on his own time after 4:00. If all homework is not completed by Friday at 3:30 it must be done over the weekend with no fun activities until completed. If not turned in by Sunday at 8 pm he looses all electronics (tv, computer, and video games) and fun activities for the school week. I also plan to have him meet with me on Mondays in the morning before 10:00 to discuss the week and on Fridays at 3:45 pm to discuss how the week went and if he has met all requirements.

 

I hope some of this is helpful to you. If you have any questions or any ideas I am all ears!!!

[SheWhoWaits]

8th grade was h e double hockey sticks with my younger ds. As a matter of fact, he is now in 10th grade and we are still behind because of 8th grade. Every day was a battle and he did very little work that year. As a matter of fact we did school all summer and did not finish 8th grade until November of what should have been his 9th grade year. But it seems like the very day he turned 14 he grew up. Now we still stuggle with priorities and procrastination, but he is far better organized and actually doing his work. We tried weekly assignment lists (do your assignments whenever you like just as long as they are all done by Friday evening.) I like the concept, but it caused too much procrastination. Now we do daily, but no time strictures at all. He most often does all his school in the evening. He says he can concentrate better that way. I do give him a few assignments with deadlines where I will mark his grade down for tardiness, just to get him used to deadlines, but mostly if he doesn't get his work done the day it is assigned he just has more to do the next day. I know in the real world, some jobs work one way and some the other so getting used to both is a good idea. Anyway, my advice is just hang in there. Eventually what you're teaching her about organization will sink in. My ds thinks he's ADD, too, and shows all the symptoms, but I don't call it ADD because that makes it seem like a disease. I don't think it's a disease, I think it's a personality difference that the public schools have labelled a disease because the way they teach can't handle it.

[Colleen in NS]

This is not about supervision or feedback, but rather about a relationship that develops between a teacher and student.

 

History--I'd read the text to her and discuss it,

 

Literature--I'd have her read the book on her own.

 

Science--I'd read this to her and discuss,

 

A small hijack...

 

I like the part that is bolded - thank you for saying that! I tend to want to keep each kid at my side, still going over whatever lessons with them or talking about writing assignments first, before sending them off to work out problems, sentence diagrams, or whatever. I also do a lot of things orally, like grammar lessons, some math questions, vocab pronunciation, etc.. I keep imagining I would still like to do this in a few years, too. I really like the student/teacher relationship idea.

 

I am wondering about what you said about history/literature/science. Will you explain why you would read history and science to a child that age, but not literature? I'm just wondering, because in the last year or so, I have handed ds his science and history spines and given him pages to read on his own. He also reads his lit. on his own, but I try to read harder ones aloud, to both kids. I enjoy reading aloud to them, but it seemed easier to hand off the history/science spine reading, but now I am wondering if I or he is missing out on something important, by me not reading these aloud to him still.

[EKS]

 

I am wondering about what you said about history/literature/science. Will you explain why you would read history and science to a child that age, but not literature? I'm just wondering, because in the last year or so, I have handed ds his science and history spines and given him pages to read on his own. He also reads his lit. on his own, but I try to read harder ones aloud, to both kids. I enjoy reading aloud to them, but it seemed easier to hand off the history/science spine reading, but now I am wondering if I or he is missing out on something important, by me not reading these aloud to him still.

 

Actually, the reason I chose literature for him to read on his own is that I thought it would engage him more than the spines. Also, with the literature, I can gauge his understanding with the online stuff we do with K12 (I go through the online lessons with him, where we discuss everything instead of having him write the answers down). For each subject, I like to have a "with me" portion and an independent portion. So this year the independent portion for literature is the reading (and also doing the K12 unit tests).

 

For science, we watch the mini-lectures that come with the book together and then I read the book to him. He then goes off and does the questions on his own. I'm thinking of handing off the book reading because watching the DVD together seems to be serving the function of the together part on its own. I do want him to get practice reading technical material.

 

For geography, I read the book to him and watch any videos with him. He defines the keywords, does mini summaries, and does the study guide exercises on his own.

 

I think I haven't answered your question at all here. If what you're doing is working for you, by all means, keep doing it. I like to have ways to check in regularly (like daily) for the core subjects with my kids and I've found that reading and discussing the spines is an easy way to do that. It's also an easy way for *me* to keep up on what they're studying. The trade off is that they're not getting practice reading textbooks.

[Colleen in NS]

For each subject, I like to have a "with me" portion and an independent portion.

 

I think I haven't answered your question at all here.

 

I like to have ways to check in regularly (like daily) for the core subjects with my kids and I've found that reading and discussing the spines is an easy way to do that.

 

Yes, you have answered my questions, thanks! The parts I quoted are what give me the "picture" of why. I realize now that I use the same idea ("with me" portion), just with different activities in history and science (discuss the reading and supervise writing about them). Thanks for answering, it's interesting to me to see how others do things and why.