Communion?

[HSHS]

Hello,

 

My grandmother unfortunately passed away recently and her funeral is approaching. My grandfather was in the navy and so he had a church of england funeral thanks to them but my grandmother's is more than likely going to be catholic since my grandfather is buried in the grounds of that chapel and my grandmother will be buried with him. The chapel there is catholic, which is what makes me think it'll be catholic (my mother doesn't even know xD). The chapel is beautiful though (although admittedly not as beautiful as where DD's dad's funeral was a couple of months ago) but I was wondering about communion? At DD's dad's funeral they were offered communion and DD freaked out and said she didn't want to do it since she didn't know exactly what to do so I thought I'd ask now to put her mind at ease and mine too.

 

Having to go to her father & great-grandmother's funeral in the space of less than two months can't be at all easy for her. D:

 

Any help on the communion front though?

 

I was trying to find a video on youtube too, I don't know if anyone can help me there?

 

Thanks again,

 

Jo

[unsinkable]

If it is a Roman Catholic funeral Mass, there will be Holy Communion.

 

Holy Communion is a sacrament for Roman Catholics so unless your dd is RC, she cannot partake. I am assuming she is not based on what you wrote.

[Chris in VA]

Most likely, if the service is Catholic, non-Catholics will not be invited to the Eucharist to receive. If your dd is not Catholic, she has nothing to worry about. Is she baptised at all?

 

If the service is not Catholic and Communion is offered, and she is baptised, you will have to ask how it is done. Sometimes people come to the rail at the altar and receive a small piece of bread or a disk-shaped "wafer." If they serve by "intinction," the wafer (called The Host) is held reverently in the hand until the cup of wine is served. Sometimes people take the Host and dip it in the wine themselves, and then put it in their own mouths, and sometimes

the person serving the wine takes it and puts it in the person's mouth. Ask the people in charge of the service. If they do not serve by intinction, then the receiver eats the host and then takes a sip from the common cup as it is offered.

 

In some (mostly nondenom or Protestant) traditions, the Host is passed while the congregation sits in the pews, then little cups of juice (for the Wine) are passed--you eat the Host, then drink the juice. They pass the little rack for the tiny cups back and you put yours in.

 

It sounds complicated, but it isn't.

 

At our church, one who isn't baptised or does not receive Eucharist in their own parish (for whatever reason) is allowed to go to the altar rail, cross both arms over the chest, and bow the head to receive a blessing.

[Tangerine]

I just returned from a Catholic funeral where they provided communion. I am not Catholic, and did not partake, neither did my sister who is not Catholic.

[unsinkable]

I meant to include that I am so sorry about your dd losing her dad. :grouphug:

[pixeldog]

I'm Episcopalian (formerly Church of England). If the church is an Episcopal church, you can participate in communion, but if it is Catholic, you can not take communion in a Catholic church unless you are Catholic. There are specific beliefs that the Catholic church has with regard to what communion is and what it means and it is taken very seriously by the Catholic Church requiring classes and initiation rituals. Episcopal communion is more liberal as to your own understanding of communion, although it is expected that you are a believer and that you want to participate in a spiritual and reverent manner as you acknowledge Jesus and all that he did for us. I would suggest that you call the priest and discuss this with him or her (if Episcopalian). Blessings to you and condolences for your loss of your grandmother.

[Dirtroad]

Last Catholic funeral that I attended, we were not asked to come up for communion.

 

The Episcopals did allow participation, but I did not go forward b/c I didn't want to drink out of the community cup. So, we remained in our seat.

 

Neither situation was awkward and I was never the only one.

[clwcain]

As several folks have already noted, only Catholics in a State of Grace may receive the Blessed Sacrament at Communion. It is as much for protection of the communicants as it is for the Sacrament since we take the injunction of Paul the Apostle seriously, that he who consumes the Sacrament without discerning its nature and being prepared for the proper reception eats and drinks ****ation upon his head.

 

The most notable exception to the closed Communion we practice would be a situation in which Catholic priest came upon a member of an Orthodox church who was in extremis and was likely to die before an Orthodox priest could be summoned. In that situation, admittedly a hypothetical, the Catholic priest would be obliged to hear the confession, grant the Sacramental Absolution, anoint the dying, and administer Viaticum (the last reception of Holy Communion).

 

Whether the Orthodox would permit this be done is a question that I can't answer.

 

As to your daughter at a Catholic funeral Mass, under no circumstances should she receive the Blessed Sacrament unless she is a practicing Catholic in a State of Grace. I infer from your query, and her reaction to an Episcopal Communion service, that this is not the case.

 

HTH, and thank you for your concern.

[WishboneDawn]

As others said if she's not Catholic she shouldn't be taking communion in a Catholic church. If she is but is uncomfortable with it there really still is nothing wrong with sitting it out. Not taking it should not be uncomfortable and people should never attend church thinking that it somehwo an expectation that they ?HAVE to take communion regardless of what the church's policy is.

 

FTR I'm Anglican. Any baptized Christian can accept it at my church. My children aren't baptized though so when they go up with me the minister blesses them instead of offering the cup and wafer.

[HSHS]

Sorry, I should have elaborated more. And I didn't mean to sound disrespectful to your faith, which I realise my question could be taken as now. It was out of pure ignorance and not maliciousness though (and probably tiredness/supressed anger/delayed grief too) so I do apologise.

 

DD is agnostic, but both of us have complete respect for all faiths and she felt that at her dad's funeral, when she was asked to come up for communion with her dad's mother seemed offended when she said she didn't want to go. No one mentioned to her that she wasn't really supposed anyway.

 

They explained to her what she had to do to go up for communion really quickly (she's since forgotten, it was obviously a bad day) so they were aware she wasn't Catholic. But she said her grandmother looked offended when she didn't want to go. She had to stand up though, to let them pass and she had to stand directly next to his coffin which I'm shocked they did to her. But it upset her a lot and put her in a really awkward position which is why I think she wished she'd known what to do then.

 

Only one member of our family is Catholic, however so does that mean that only one of our family members can (I don't know if this is the right phrasing) take Communion?

 

-----------

 

My mother just called and told us they've found out the chapel is open to any religion but that the cemetery is Catholic-owned. I've no idea what that means, but the service is going to be CoE, I think. Will there be anything different about the burial compared to CoE?

 

Sorry for all the questions.

[Chris in VA]

CoE=Church of England?

Then only those who are baptised members of their own faiths should come to communion.

(Dh is an Episcopal priest--Church of Eng in the US)

[MamaSheep]

I don't participate in communion when I visit services in faiths other than my own. Usually I will remain seated or stand respectfully (whichever seems more appropriate based on what everyone else is doing--if everyone is standing I stand, if most people are sitting until it's their turn I sit) if the congregation goes forward for communion, and if it's passed in the rows I just pass it on to the next person. Sometimes people have looked at me strangely, but I just smile and nod. It works out pretty well, and nobody has ever expressed to me that they were offended by my abstaining. I know that in many churches one shouldn't participate unless they are a baptized member anyway. Maybe that sort of respectful abstaining would be appropriate for you and your dd in this circumstance? The communion is an expression of faith between the participant and God, and refraining from participating in no ways shows disrespect for the deceased person the funeral is being held for, so your dd doesn't need to feel that she is being disrespectful toward her grandfather's memory at all if she doesn't participate. I'm so sorry to hear that she had such an awkward experience with this before. It is sometimes hard to know how best to be respectful of other people's religious beliefs and practices, especially when they haven't really been explained to you.

[Tutor]

As others have mentioned, if your dd is not Catholic, she should not accept communion. However, if she feels awkward just sitting in the pew, she should be able to go up with everyone and when the priest gets to her, she can cross her arms in front of her chest (putting the rt. hand on the left shoulder and the left hand on the rt. shoulder) to indicate that she would not like to receive communion. In that case, the priest will say a blessing then move on to the next person.

 

Every Catholic service I have participated in had this custom, but you could ask the priest before-hand to confirm.

Edited September 15, 2009 by Tutor
typo

[elizabeth]

 

http://media.photobucket.com/image/non%20catholic%20at%20communion/TheAnchoress/Bushreceivingcommunion.jpg The gentleman standing behind the woman receiving the Blessed Sacrament has the correct posture for indicating that he is not Catholic but will gladly accept the blessing from the priest. It is a lovely way to share in the Mass and be a participant yet demonstrate respect for the Catholic position that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Jesus Christ.

[Ellie]

Sorry, I should have elaborated more. And I didn't mean to sound disrespectful to your faith, which I realise my question could be taken as now. It was out of pure ignorance and not maliciousness though (and probably tiredness/supressed anger/delayed grief too) so I do apologise.

No worries. No one was offended. :-)

 

DD is agnostic, but both of us have complete respect for all faiths and she felt that at her dad's funeral, when she was asked to come up for communion with her dad's mother seemed offended when she said she didn't want to go. No one mentioned to her that she wasn't really supposed anyway.

If your dd is not a practicing Christian, she should not participate in Communion, if for no other reason than that it has no real meaning for her. Anyone who is offended should probably spend some time in prayer and confession. Really.

 

Only one member of our family is Catholic, however, so does that mean that only one of our family members can (I don't know if this is the right phrasing) take Communion?

Yes, that is correct.

 

-----------

 

My mother just called and told us they've found out the chapel is open to any religion but that the cemetery is Catholic-owned. I've no idea what that means, but the service is going to be CoE, I think. Will there be anything different about the burial compared to CoE?

I don't know what the rules are regarding Communion in the CoE. You or your dd needs to call and find out beforehand.

 

Sorry for all the questions.

No worries.

[clwcain]

Only one member of our family is Catholic, however so does that mean that only one of our family members can (I don't know if this is the right phrasing) take Communion?

 

Even the Catholic in your family should only receive Holy Communion if that person is in a State of Grace.

 

If that person is unsure of what that phrase means, or isn't sure whether or not he is in a State of Grace, he ought to refrain from receiving the Sacrament until he has spoken with a priest, made Confession and received Sacramental Absolution.

 

HTH

[newbie]

If it is a Roman Catholic funeral Mass, there will be Holy Communion.

 

Holy Communion is a sacrament for Roman Catholics so unless your dd is RC, she cannot partake. I am assuming she is not based on what you wrote.

 

:iagree::iagree:

 

I am baptised Catholic and can partake at RC church, but dh is Coptic Orthodox and I do not partake there. Although he and dd's can.

[clwcain]

http://media.photobucket.com/image/non%20catholic%20at%20communion/TheAnchoress/Bushreceivingcommunion.jpg The gentleman standing behind the woman receiving the Blessed Sacrament has the correct posture for indicating that he is not Catholic but will gladly accept the blessing from the priest. It is a lovely way to share in the Mass and be a participant yet demonstrate respect for the Catholic position that the Eucharist is the body and blood of Jesus Christ.

 

Catholics not in a State of Grace ought to adopt this posture, too, or not present themselves in the Communion line in the first place.

 

Priests ought not give blessings, but it has become a popular custom in the United States over the last few decades.