homeschoolin'mygirls Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 My sister is searching for residential options for her 15 yo son. He recently was discharged from a 60 day drug rehab facility. She does not think drugs are a problem now but is continuing to see self destructive choices. He was picked up for shoplifting last week. His behavior is beginning to spiral out of control and she feels helpless to prevent any more destructive choices. She is a single working parent. She is on a leave of absence right now but has to return to work within 2 weeks. She has little in the way of support from her ex-husband--either financial or emotional or parental solidarity. The facility her son was at also does behavioral therapy but at a cost of $5000 per month. Her son has used his lifetime max with her insurance and his father does not have insurance. Her son's counselor recommended 2 different residential Teen Challenge facilities (both out of state, we live in Texas), Christian behavioral programs that are lower priced. Does anyone have any experience with this program? How does one make a decision like this? What kind of questions do you ask and how do you know your child will be safe? Her son will be very resistant to this , at least initially, and she is scared both for him and for their relationship. Any constructive advice appreciated. Prayers also appreciated. She is so heartbroken right now and I am so sad. nandell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 (edited) What state is she in? I do have a friend who had a good experience with Teen Challenge a number of years ago. I don't know much more than that it was positive. I can also recommend Jubilee Ranch in Washington (or is it Oregon???) and Glenwood School in Illinois. Glenwood is a boarding school--it provides a lot of structure but is not equipped for the truly hardened. Jubilee is for rougher kids and it's a fabulous facility. It's not a prison--it's a ranch. They keep the student population low. It's located in the middle of nowhere, which is a definite plus. All the students are expected to both school and to work on the ranch. The students pick a work focus to train in--the work and the animals are there both for training and for therapy. A friend's child was in both places, and I was heavily involved in the process over a few years. Both my friend and I have a high opinion of both. If you would like more specifics I am happy to get addresses, phone numbers, etc., from my friend. ETA: Just noticed you mentioned Texas. In that case Glenwood School is not an option at all since they require the parents to pick up the kids each weekend. Jubilee might still be a good option--sometimes getting ripped completely out of context is just what a kid needs. My friend's child was a street kid from Chicago. The change to a ranch in Washington was disorienting enough to actually help him quite a bit. Edited July 29, 2009 by strider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yarrow Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 any personal experience with Teen Challenge, I've only heard positive things about themm. A leader from Teen Challenge has come before to our church before to speak and once a year or so, a group of the kids will come and talk about changes in their lives. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 The Glenwood school sounds like it would be perfect--if only it weren't in Chicago. I think she'd really like a school where he could be home on the weekends. She wants to be connected with him and involved in his life. Going away to a ranch in Washington is a bit more overwhelming. The ranch looks great. She wouldn't be able to be there often at all. And Karen, I'm glad you've heard good things about Teen Challenge. How did your friend make the decision about where and how to send her child? Did she go mostly on 'gut' feeling for the place? nandell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 (edited) What about that place in Texas Dr. Phil is associated with? I looked at it's website years ago and it looked good. I don't see it on his website though. Maybe he is no longer affiliated with them? Some of the ones on his website look worth checking into though: http://www.drphil.com/shows/page/treatmentprograms/ Just another consideration: The Total Transformation program might be worth trying before sending him off. It is definitely something to consider carefully. Residential treatment center, even a good one, is a mixed bag---personal experience. Edited July 29, 2009 by 2J5M9K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 A wonderful residential program that we've supported for a long time is "Glen Haven Youth Ranch" (for boys) and "Hidden Valley Ranch" (for girls). They have a website. They are located in Arkansas. They will not take children with felony convictions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 My friends have been thrilled with the positive results for their son. Wendi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 I am thrilled to hear positive reviews about Teen Challenge. I am forwarding on the other places to her to look at online. Esp the Glen Haven Ranch as Arkansas would not be too far away. And I looked at the Dr Phil site but didn't see a Teen program here in Texas either. Thank you all. My sister is corresponding with the Teen Challenge people and asking questions. This is hard to do when he just got home from the other residential place several weeks ago. But she feels--and I agree with her--that if she doesn't do this things could get out of control fast. Nandell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I know a great free place - Youth Reach in Houston, Texas. Our church is one of their sponsors. They are an evangelical, non-denominational facility. The founder and director homeschools his own children. The only hangup is that the child has to go there willingly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 How did your friend make the decision about where and how to send her child? Did she go mostly on 'gut' feeling for the place? nandell Glenwood School was initially recommended by the family therapist. We all knew, loved, and trusted her and were willing to go with it based on her word alone. My friend's kid actually did quite well at Glenwood for a few months, then got into trouble. This kid is all or nothing, and he decided that a little bit of trouble for him meant nothing was worth it. All of a sudden he was in a lot of trouble, absolutely constantly, and the school could not keep him. My friend had other foster parent friends who had had positive experiences with Jubilee with more than one foster child, so my friend was willing to send her kid there on their recommendation. She did go out and visit him more than once and was impressed with their program. For both placements my friend had recommendations from people who personally were quite familiar with the facility, and whose integrity she really trusted. If she hadn't had people she could trust like that, with that level of first hand knowledge, she would have been a lot more careful about investigating and touring the facility ahead of time. Residential placements can be a mixed bag--some are unfortunately very oppressive. Someone dear to me was in several residential therapy settings and unfortunately had bad experiences with some of them. Others were much better for her. Your friend should try her best to tour the facility and to try to talk with someone with personal experience with the facility. If I were looking for the best possible scenario, I would want the facility to offer lots of supervision, some sort of formalized reward system that is highly specific with regard to both expected behavior and freedoms that are rewarded based on the behavior, and therapy--ideally both individual and group . . . Your friend should also ask (really ask--push a little to get an honest answer) how often staff are forced to physically restrain clients. Too many restraints indicates a staff problem to me--there may be too little staff, or staff may be too quick to restrain without offering other options. Another feature I like in a program is the opportunity to work and to school--too much leisure in a program for hurting youth just breeds boredom and more negative behavior. Another question to ask is what is the ratio of staff to clients--make sure there are enough staff there to adequately supervise. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. May God guide your friend as she seeks help. She's right to do so if she senses the need--too many people wait until it's waaaaaay overdue. She is right to be proactive about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I have heard nothing but positive about Teen Challenge. We've had them come to our church several times and talk about their program, and I've heard many of the kids that went through their program praise it highly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 I know a great free place - Youth Reach in Houston, Texas. Our church is one of their sponsors. They are an evangelical, non-denominational facility. The founder and director homeschools his own children. The only hangup is that the child has to go there willingly. I don't now if he'll go willingly. He's a good kid making bad choices right now, and he can't see thru all his stuff to see the bad choice. I did go to their website and found some very helpful resources for other places. Thanks for the referral. For both placements my friend had recommendations from people who personally were quite familiar with the facility, and whose integrity she really trusted. I wish we had that. My sister knows this is the right path; she just has to find the right place. That's all I can think of off the top of my head. May God guide your friend as she seeks help. She's right to do so if she senses the need--too many people wait until it's waaaaaay overdue. She is right to be proactive about it. I am praying that she is able to find the right healing place for her son. Nandell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammi Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Our family made a decision in Oct of 2007 to send our daughter to Teen Challenge in Lakeland, Fl. We live near Chattanooga, TN. She graduated from the program in January of this year. I highly recommended this program. Tammi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geo Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 (edited) Her son's counselor recommended 2 different residential Teen Challenge facilities (both out of state, we live in Texas), Christian behavioral programs that are lower priced. Does anyone have any experience with this program? How does one make a decision like this? What kind of questions do you ask and how do you know your child will be safe? Her son will be very resistant to this , at least initially, and she is scared both for him and for their relationship. Your post touched my heart, I feel for your sister. When our children struggle, it hits us as deep as it can go. I know two families who went with Teen Challenge. It ran them around $1500 a month, which lasts about 15 months on the average. The outcome for both families was mixed. At first, the kids did great when initially home...like night and day. After a while, some old behaviors resurfaced and there were problems. However, neither teen completely reverted to their previous, extremely self-destructive behavior. I think it was good intervention and they received something solid from their time there. Family makes all the difference. She'll need to be tough in her love...tell her to "spare not for his crying." That's all I can say. I pray God's best for your family, Geo Edited July 30, 2009 by Geo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 It is REALLY REALLY hard to return home after residential treatment. I had hesitated sharing anything, but this part isn't too hard, I don't think. When I was as the two places, I was basically responsible for myself. Though we had a lot of supervision and there was structure to the program, we had a lot of responsibility on a level most kids just don't get at home (and I was 12 when I went so that was even more true for me, I think). This was in every aspect of life from showering to schooling to whatever. It's a very odd mix. There was no "you're a child" aspect. We were simply people. The only thing I can remember that we had to have permission for was smoking but there were ways around that. Anyway, so coming home, the family REALLY seems "up your rear." My parents were used to parenting normal young teens and I no longer was a normal young teen. It irritated me how often they'd come "check with me." I see how much I do it with my own kids but they are used to that (and like it), but I can see how it could drive another person (me) nuts. And things changed so much. The schedule was different, what we ate was different, interactions with both my parents and siblings were different than I had had with them in years, but also different than I had had with ANY other adult or the kids I lived with. And going back to regular education was odd too. The levels were strange, the long school day was challenging, and again, the difference in relationships with teachers and other students. And it really took some time balancing things out socially. Okay, I'm really not able to explain this well enough. But I can definitely see why so many have trouble coming home even if they don't revert to their prior behavior. It's just another world. It takes awhile before you can get used to it and balance out who you're going to be with all these people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katemary63 Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 A wonderful residential program that we've supported for a long time is "Glen Haven Youth Ranch" (for boys) and "Hidden Valley Ranch" (for girls). They have a website. They are located in Arkansas. They will not take children with felony convictions. The associate pastor of my church and his wife taught school at this ranch. Only a year ago. Actually, he is there right now with our youth group boys on a missions trip. They are fixing fences. His wife's parents are full time volunteers on the ranch and live there. I could get you more info if you need. It is a wonderful place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 The outcome for both families was mixed. At first, the kids did great when initially home...like night and day. After a while, some old behaviors resurfaced and there were problems. However, neither teen completely reverted to their previous, extremely self-destructive behavior. I just wanted to say this is completely normal for any program for many, many children. It's just plain hard to learn to behave in a new way in an old environment, and it's also hard to learn to behave in a new way outside of the structure of the program. Of course some programs are better than others at training kids to manage that transition more successfully. In my previous post I mentioned someone dear to me who had been in a number of residential rehab settings. This person was unable to stay straight until she moved to a totally different state, away from former friends and away from her unhappy, dysfunctional, and terribly abusive family. Sometimes a new context is needed for rehab and after rehab as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 I just wanted to say this is completely normal for any program for many, many children. It's just plain hard to learn to behave in a new way in an old environment, and it's also hard to learn to behave in a new way outside of the structure of the program. Yeah, after I write a book, just go sum it up so concisely! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted August 18, 2009 Author Share Posted August 18, 2009 My sister took her son last weekend to a Teen Challenge in OK.(closest to her home) She is prepared for him to stay 12--15 months. We are fervently hoping this time will help him find a new way to live, a way without drugs and the destructive behaviors that accompany the drugs. My sister was able to first talk with other parents (kids at home now) and ask lots of questions. That helped her feel much more comfortable. It was nice--they met him at the door. packed with canoes and tents, for a 3 day camping trip. This is right up his alley--he loves to fish. She and I then toured the facility , met his teacher(they use Switched on Schoolhouse), and saw where he'll be living. Thanks to everyone for your input--the positive reviews of different places and the BTDT posts helped immensely. nandell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 I'm so glad that they have found a good place for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted August 18, 2009 Share Posted August 18, 2009 My sister took her son last weekend to a Teen Challenge in OK.(closest to her home) She is prepared for him to stay 12--15 months. We are fervently hoping this time will help him find a new way to live' date=' a way without drugs and the destructive behaviors that accompany the drugs. My sister was able to first talk with other parents (kids at home now) and ask lots of questions. That helped her feel much more comfortable. It was nice--they met him at the door. packed with canoes and tents, for a 3 day camping trip. This is right up his alley--he loves to fish. She and I then toured the facility , met his teacher(they use Switched on Schoolhouse), and saw where he'll be living. Thanks to everyone for your input--the positive reviews of different places and the BTDT posts helped immensely. nandell[/quote'] Thanks for the update. I pray all goes well for him. Keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvmy4blessings Posted August 31, 2009 Share Posted August 31, 2009 I'll be interested to know how things are going. Our church supports Teen Challenge and I have heard nothing but wonderful things. They come once a year and do a testimony service, sing, and sell the wooden crosses that they make . It is one of my favorite services all year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jugglin'5 Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 Her son's counselor recommended 2 different residential Teen Challenge facilities (both out of state, we live in Texas), Christian behavioral programs that are lower priced. Does anyone have any experience with this program? How does one make a decision like this? What kind of questions do you ask and how do you know your child will be safe? Her son will be very resistant to this , at least initially, and she is scared both for him and for their relationship. Your post touched my heart, I feel for your sister. When our children struggle, it hits us as deep as it can go. I know two families who went with Teen Challenge. It ran them around $1500 a month, which lasts about 15 months on the average. The outcome for both families was mixed. At first, the kids did great when initially home...like night and day. After a while, some old behaviors resurfaced and there were problems. However, neither teen completely reverted to their previous, extremely self-destructive behavior. I think it was good intervention and they received something solid from their time there. Family makes all the difference. She'll need to be tough in her love...tell her to "spare not for his crying." That's all I can say. I pray God's best for your family, Geo :iagree: We had a family member go, and after her first visit home (she had showed wonderful improvement), she cried and begged not to go back - promised she had changed for good. The Teen Challenge people warned my relatives that it was too soon, but they didn't listen. The girl was back in trouble in a month. The mom needs to be prepared for the long haul, and to harden herself when he wants to come home before he is done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homeschoolin'mygirls Posted September 1, 2009 Author Share Posted September 1, 2009 (edited) I think he's doing well. His first month will be coming to an end soon, and my sister will be able to get a first phone call from him. The staff have prepared her for what a typical first call is like--kids say almost anything to get things back to how they were. I know the counselors have told her that he has not been resistant to the program, and he has had no conflicts with staff or peers. She and I have both been sending emails/letters but haven't heard anything back from him. I'm hoping it's because he is just too busy to write-he has a very full schedule of school and physical activities. I am hoping that my sister can stand strong with him and have him complete the program. He is 16--this might be the last opp she has to keep him in a facility for treatment. Thanks for all the concern. Edited September 1, 2009 by homeschoolin'mygirls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 1, 2009 Share Posted September 1, 2009 I think he's doing well. His first month will be coming to an end soon' date=' and my sister will be able to get a first phone call from him. The staff have prepared her for what a typical first call is like--kids say almost anything to get things back to how they were. I know the counselors have told her that he has not been resistant to the program, and he has had no conflicts with staff or peers. She and I have both been sending emails/letters but haven't heard anything back from him. I'm hoping it's because he is just too busy to write-he has a very full schedule of school and physical activities. I am hoping that my sister can stand strong with him and have him complete the program. He is 16--this might be the last opp she has to keep him in a facility. Thanks for all the concern.[/quote'] Thanks for the update. I pray all is well with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.