Samiam Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 My sister is getting married, and I am a bridesmaid. So along with the dress, buying appropriate clothing for my family (my children don't have many fancy clothes because we don't have a need for them in our daily lives, so I will have to purchase clothes for them) and travel expenses to get five people halfway across the country, I am on the invite list for three different bridal showers. So if I add in the wedding gift, that's four occasions where I could potentially be expected to give a gift. I won't be attending ANY of the bridal showers, since they are in all in the Mid-West, and I am on the east coast. Do I have to buy a gift for any of them? Is one wedding gift good enough? Happy for my sister that she is getting married, but wow, it's killing my tight budget! So what's the gift protocol? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4kiddies Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I don't think that anyone is expecting you to attend all or buy for all...typically the bridesmaids would chip in and buy a larger item for the bride. Have you spoken to the other bridesmaids? If you are not doing a group gift then I think you are fine with a smaller gift for the shower and then just a wedding gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I was in the same situation when my sister got married and we just purchased one nice gift for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCoppock Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 One gift is all you need to buy. If you were attending a shower then you would purchase two gifts but the total amount should stay the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teachermom2834 Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 One if your sister is a reasonable person. If she is not a reasonable person, you may need to do more than one to keep the peace. I would give one whether she is a reasonable person or not! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 I agree one gift is enough. But, have you checked out thrift stores for fancy clothes??? Do give them a try! We buy most of our kids' clothes at a local thrift store. My last trip included a dress shirt and sportscoat for my ds13. Together they came to $7. I was happy!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 If I were in your shoes (and dress, makeup, hair & nails) . . . I would make every attempt to borrow the children's wedding clothes. You may have friends with boys' navy blazers, and even dress shoes stored in their back closets! Also, Walmart has cheap khaki pants. Also check local thrift stores. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Just one. The expense to the bridal party, is the main reason I don't participate in weddings anymore. I have been in 6 weddings, been the maid of honor 3 times, and now have kids who are being asked. I have started declining the past few years. It is sooooo expensive to buy the clothes (usually multiple outfits), the travel, pay for the parties, time and $$ helping to plan, and buy the gifts. Each wedding cost me $300-500. I suppose if it was one of my sisters....I would do it, but for friends, I now decline the honor (and the expense). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 My brother is getting married in Thailand in December. He is getting a very small gift from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted July 24, 2009 Author Share Posted July 24, 2009 Thanks for all of the advice. Although I am happy for my sister, I don't necessarily agree with her Bridezilla ways, and having to do everything thing the way "the book" (whichever how-to book she is using) says. Personally, I have enjoyed weddings that were a bit more creative, off the path, personalized, but HEY, it's not my day, so I just smile and nod. Luckily for me, since I am so far away, I am not involved with any of the planning for showers, etc. She completely understands that aspect. She has local family/friends who are doing that for her. Basically, I will just be part of the weekend/wedding ceremony, and not have to deal with alot of the pre-wedding stuff. But I am happy to know that one gift will be sufficient. I am going to try to make it the best that I can, after all, she is my only sister. Wonderful idea about shopping for the boys at used stores. That never occured to me. I know Wal-Mart and Target both have dress shirt/tie combos at a decent price. Thanks again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lighthouseacademy Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 ONE! BTW if you need a cream colored 2T dress, I have one for sale for cheaper than the store! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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