Ravin Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 DD is going to stay with my mom for about a month. She will probably attend church with her a few times. They're Lutherans. We're not Christians of any stripe. Advice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Does your library have a copy of How to be a Perfect Stranger? I think there are two volumes, so you'd want to be sure to get the one with the chapter on Lutherans. If I remember correctly, the book gives a brief history of the denomination, explains vocabulary, and gives an outline of a typical service and what behavior is expected when. Generally, there is an order of service that explains when to stand or kneel. Text that is meant to be read aloud by the congregation is in bold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OHGrandma Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 How old is your daughter? She should get by fine just taking her cues & direction from grandma. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tess in the Burbs Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 basic manners. she doesn't have to do anything they do(prayers, singing, communion) but she should sit quietly when they do. I visited churches with friends over the years and often would not participate in some aspects of the service(Catholic comes to mind with the kneeling/back to sitting/standing/back to kneeling) but just sat in my seat. I went to a Lutheran church in college(they offered free meals once a week for us college kids) and I had never seen some of their traditions/rituals and just sat while others got up to participate(Ash Wednesday stands out here...I was freaked out!) I think visiting a church you don't know anything about is scary....and I am a Christian. The church should be respectful of a visitor and not make her do anything she doesn't want to. If she's not a praying person just be quiet when they do. She may find out who's not praying too ;-) And if she has questions...she should ask...I don't recall if the Lutheran church has people passing bulletins in the beginning or not....but she could ask them up front if she has concerns about things. I remember visiting a church once where communion is up front...you had to walk up stairs to be on the stage area for communion. And while it was an 'open table' for all....I just couldn't see walking up there with everyone watching. It was too different for my comfort level. Hope she survives. Church visiting can be scary. But at least it's not Ash Wednesday time :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 How young are we talking? Because at my church, any young lady over 17 or so, is fair game to all the old ladies with a "nice Grandson." Seriously, they're like vultures! Other than that warning, I'd just advise her to behave respectfully, like she were visiting a stranger's home. Don't join in if it makes you uncomfortable, but don't be a distraction either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Just get her a "church bag" with some sweet coloring pages and colors. Explain that there is a way church is done, Greeting, singing, praying (and what's expected...you know...quite:-)sermon, singing and such. I'd tell her that she can sing and such if she chooses, and when she doesn't want to participate, that she just needs to be respectfully quite. Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildflower Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 ELCA or missouri synod? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cedarmom Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I think just the basic manners for visiting any place. That would include cell phone off, no ipod's during church,and no texting !Smile and look at people when they talk to you. If they are singing a song you don't know, just listen politely (you usually have the words in a book or on a screen,so if she feels comfortable she can sing) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wildflower Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I went to a Lutheran church in college(they offered free meals once a week for us college kids) and I had never seen some of their traditions/rituals and just sat while others got up to participate(Ash Wednesday stands out here...I was freaked out!) I I am Lutheran and have no idea what you are talking about.... what did they do that freaked you out? I am so curious about this one!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 I would say general etiquette is all that is expected. So be polite to Grandma's friends. Smile, say hello. Be quiet in church like you would at a concert/speech/theater performance, etc. I don't think special etiquette is necessary beyond what you would tell her to do ordinarily in public. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 She is just five, so probably my mom's mastery of the candy bribe in the purse plus the threat of sitting in the restroom if she doesn't behave will suffice. She falls in that category of "too old to be in the nursery but too young to have much idea of what's going on". We talked about it, because she's been to my mom's church before, but it was two years ago almost. She remembers a party with a bouncy house. It's obviously not that much fun every week. She is still young enough that Sunday School, if they go, is Bible stories and coloring or whatever, not like they're going to go in on the theology with her--I may remind my mom she's not to be baptized, though she hasn't joked about that since DD was an infant (the last time I was in a church was once I went with my mom so she could show the new grandbaby off). Oh, they're Missouri Synod, for the person who asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 If your mom doesn't mind, I'd pack some crayons and a notepad for a 6yo. There may be Sunday school classes at the same time as the main service and kids would go there instead. I'd ask your mom and decide in advance if you're comfortable with her attending religious ed with her agemates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 They can't baptize without a lot of planning and parental permission ;) I grew up Missouri Synod Lutheran. A good bag of toys and crayons should be fine if they don't provide anything, though your mom may want to discreetly take her out during the readings or sermon if she gets rambunctious (I believe there was a restroom threat? Sounds good to me!). The rest of the service should be fine with a little noise. I mean, really, she's 5. That's what kids DO. Most Missouri Synod churches only do communion two Sundays per month - the first and third - and you do NOT have to go up front at all. If your mom insists on taking her up, they'll only give her a blessing at her age, so you can consent or veto with that knowledge now at least. If your mom is expecting her to participate, I imagine she'll be surprised. Even my 6-yo doesn't care to participate in church when we go, and he has had to go twice a week all school year since he was in a Catholic school. I imagine she'll be fine and will just think of it as "that place Grandma goes" when she gets back. Hope she has fun visiting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy in MD Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 How young are we talking? Because at my church, any young lady over 17 or so, is fair game to all the old ladies with a "nice Grandson." ..... [ quote from different poster]... Just get her a "church bag" with some sweet coloring pages and colors.....] Hmmmm Would sweet coloring pages be an adequate defense against the grandmothers. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 (edited) Most Missouri Synod churches only do communion two Sundays per month - the first and third - and you do NOT have to go up front at all. If your mom insists on taking her up, they'll only give her a blessing at her age, so you can consent or veto with that knowledge now at least. One more thing, communion is something you should probably sort out before she goes. Communion is an act of community and different churches define that community differently. For some you need to belong to a specific denomination. For others simply being a baptized Christian is enough. I'm not sure if some offer it to anyone. Regardless, the liturgy around it should be understood because in some churches by accepting communion you accept certain beliefs and doctrine. Bowing out of communion and either staying seated or accepting a blessing is a respectful act when you aren't sure of or don't meet the churches requirements. I'm Anglican but my children aren't baptized (I consider that a matter for them to attend to as they choose) and although I accept communion, they do not. Edited June 9, 2009 by WishboneDawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 9, 2009 Share Posted June 9, 2009 Pack appropriate clothing. Rosie the Pagan had a large argument with her fairly Christian partner about appropriate attire for a Lutheran friend's christening. Good thing the pagan won... Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted June 9, 2009 Author Share Posted June 9, 2009 We did pack a dress for her. Good reminder, Rosie! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in St Louis Posted June 10, 2009 Share Posted June 10, 2009 The most basic thing is to stay quiet. Stand when Grandma stands. Sit when grandma sits. Smile politely and say "nice to meet you" when grandma introduces you to her friends. Really, that should get her by just fine. :iagree: This is the conversation we have each week on the way to our LCMS Church. Well, minus the grandma part. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.