I just had the birds and bees talk with my oldest dd

[Nakia]

And I survived. :D She has been asking a lot of questions lately, and after the ones she asked me today, I knew it was time. She said, "Mommy, what does it mean when people say they are trying to have a baby? How do you have to try to have a baby? And how do you know how to have a baby? How does it happen?"

 

So it went well. She did tell me that she thought it was a little weird how everything fits together so well. :lol:

 

Just thought I would share. She will be nine in August. I thought it was a little early, but she was definitely ready.

[yslek]

Glad it went well. :) I haven't had to go there yet...dh had "the talk" with B and T. I do want all of my dc to learn about the facts of life from us. I learned all about how things work from a friend when I was six. :001_huh: My mom was not too happy about that. ;)

[Pajama Mama]

And I survived. :D She has been asking a lot of questions lately, and after the ones she asked me today, I knew it was time. She said, "Mommy, what does it mean when people say they are trying to have a baby? How do you have to try to have a baby? And how do you know how to have a baby? How does it happen?"

 

So it went well. She did tell me that she thought it was a little weird how everything fits together so well. :lol:

 

Just thought I would share. She will be nine in August. I thought it was a little early, but she was definitely ready.

 

That's reassuring. My dd will be 9 in December. I'll answer those questions when she shows any real interest. I did have "the talk" with ds11 about a year ago. Dh was waffling and stalling so I talked with our son. It actually wasn't one talk though. It's more like opening a dialogue on the subject. There are sooo many aspects to talking about s@x with your kids. "Mom, what's a rainbow party?" :glare:

[littlemomof3]

Me too with my 9yo son. He kissed his "girlfriend" 2 separate times in closets lol Good thing her dad was "okay" with it. We have decided on pre-martial contracts for the 2 of them LOL

[Nakia]

I just sat her down and we reviewed what happens to a woman's body every month (we had already talked about periods and the uterus and ovaries). Then I explained about the different openings on a woman's body and the way a man's body is made. She has seen her daddy naked so she knew he had a pen*s. I told her that when people get married, they are given a special gift by God to use only with each other and that it is called s*x. I told her that the woman and man lie down together and the pen*s fits in the vag*na and it feels good to them. I told her sometimes when the sperm is released that it meets up with an egg from the woman's ovaries, and that is the way that babies are made. But that a baby wasn't made every time that a man and woman make love. I explained that only married people are supposed to make love and have babies, but that sometimes people who aren't married do it. She knows that all babies are a blessing no matter what!!

 

I know you said you can't use religious reasons, so maybe you could just explain that only people who love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives/are married are supposed to make love and have babies. That way he knows that it is very serious and for adults only. Maybe explain it as a very special gift for the one you love forever.

 

I was worried that I was going to laugh. I have a habit of laughing when I get nervous. But I didn't.

[Emmy]

My soon to be 9yo has been peppering us with questions - we need to sit down and explain it to him. He was looking at a biology book and asked what sperm was and I answered accurately but without detail and he honed in on the one detail - so HOW does that sperm get to the egg mom?????? I told him it was "complicated" and I had to figure out a way to explain it to him so he'd understand. He laughed and said - you don't know, do you???? I was all - dude, I know!!!! We have 4 kids - I know!

 

ha.

 

That was like 6 weeks ago and he hasn't brought it up again yet but when he does we're going to spill it. I just dread it cause he has no filter....he'll be one that will find our bedroom door locked and probably bang on it and yell - are you doing that baby thing now???? :glare:

[Ottakee]

When I told my oldest daughter (all kids are adopted) about the facts, she just looked at me and in all seriousness said, "I'm just adopting". End of conversation.

[TKDmom]

Ugh. My dd has been asking lots of questions (probably b/c I'm currently pregnant). I've been putting her off, telling her that we'd talk about it when we get there in science (and if I actually followed my schedule and did science with her we'd have gotten there well over a month ago). I have actually read that around 8 is the ideal age to cover it, but I'm still not ready!

 

He kept asking "why? but why?" That was one heck of a difficult question for me. (And I can't use religious reasons.)

 

 

Other than religious reasons, I think a good why is that this is a very special expression of love, and that you need to be in a committed relationship (which means marriage to me) in order to express that kind of love. Also, since this is a way to bring children into the world, you need to be an adult and be capable of raising children of your own before you have s*x.

Edited May 19, 2009 by bonniebeth4

[MamaT]

Shortly after my dh had "the talk" with my then 9yo son, I got pregnant (later miscarried). When we told him we were going to have a baby, his response was, "You did THAT? With CHILDREN in the house?"

 

It was so hard not to laugh at him. So far, dh has talked to the boys and I've handled the girls around here. I haven't talked to my 9yo yet, but it's time.

[Loupelou]

I would love to suggest a great book that I have used. It's wonderful for those of us a bit squeamish as it is even scripted! It's called "How to Talk to Your Child about Sex" by Linda Eyre.

 

Good luck!:D

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

Shortly after my dh had "the talk" with my then 9yo son, I got pregnant (later miscarried). When we told him we were going to have a baby, his response was, "You did THAT? With CHILDREN in the house?"

 

 

When I told my oldest daughter (all kids are adopted) about the facts, she just looked at me and in all seriousness said, "I'm just adopting". End of conversation.

 

So funny!

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

My 17 yr. old dd and I still laugh about her comment after I had explained about the birds and the bees. I must have mentioned "eggs" and "seeds" , because she replied:

 

"So... you've got the egg, and Dad's got the big bean, right?"

 

Huh????

 

:o

[Sara R]

And then I kept repeating "but this is only for adults, this is only for adults". He kept asking "why? but why?" That was one heck of a difficult question for me. (And I can't use religious reasons.)

 

I'm just mad at myself that I felt so uncomfortable with the topic. I thought I was going to be so cool about it. :confused:

 

"It is for adults, because it makes babies. What does it take to be able to take care of a baby? Do babies need both a mom and a dad? Are kids ready to take care of babies?"

 

(Yes, I know that contraception means that sex doesn't make babies 100% of the time. But still plenty of babies are conceived in spite of contraception. Birth control "failure rates" translate into pregnancies. Of course these nuances are beyond a 7-year-old's capacity, but it's important for you to be confident in your reasoning.)

 

I echo the recommendation of the Eyre's "How to talk to your child about sex."

[TKDmom]

The Eyre's have a website. Here's the link:

 

http://www.valuesparenting.com/talktokids.php

 

If you have a "membership" to the site there is more info, but the free portion has good info, too.

[HappyGrace]

My 9yo dd responded with, "I'm never doing THAT!" :lol:

[Desert Rat]

HeeHee! That's too cute! I'll be having the talk next month when we hit it in biology. He's nine but not interested. I just want to tell him instead of friends.