Be willing to throw the football, shoot hoops, play baseball, soccer etc. We have family games the boys love it and as added benefit it's more exercise for mom. Also, find what would make them happy from playing play dough to board games. I have a unique bond with each of my boy, my middle son loves to cook with me, baby boy loves board games and my oldest at 15 likes to have my undivded attention as he expresses his views on current events or shares his rambling thoughts. Just spending time with them will bring a bond you just have to find out what makes them tick what's important to them and this will change as they get older.