I did this w/ dd when she was 6. It was wonderful! I wish she'd been a little older so we could have done some hiking, etc., but as it is, she still talks about the trip! (and she's 12 now)

I think it's a combination of problems that stem from consumerism. Of course there are the environmental issues, but there's also the vulnerable state our national economy has been left in because too many people in the U.S. (our government included) spend more than they earn in order to have all the "stuff" we've been trained to want. Add to that the growing feelings of worry, stress and dissatisfaction that many people struggle with, and you have some idea of the problems that rampant consumerism has brought about. I, too, have been thinking about these things a lot recently. I've been doing a fair amount of reading (when I can find time from HSing!). Some of the books are pretty heavy-weight econ. books (have to make sure I'm not at all drowsy prior to reading!), but one useful book has been Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez & Vicki Robin. He talks about finding the level of "enough" in your life. And how people have more and more but are less satisfied.

That's what my unprofessional guess would be for your situation. Both for you and your mother. I grew up with a toxic, depressed mother. Heaven help the first person who walked in the door from school/work because Mom would have been stewing at home all day and the first person home got it full in the face. If you didn't instantly fight w/ her she'd follow you around the house making little digging comments until she got you either miserable/crying/fighting. Then when my father got home she'd plead her case w/ him about what an awful child she had. Well, I took a long look at my mom when I was in High School and decided that was NOT what I wanted to be. I made a practice of finding 3 things at the end of each day for which I am thankful. It's amazing what that one step can do for a person's attitude! I have had periods of depression as an adult and when that happens I find someone to talk to. My mom is now on anti-depressants. I found that out when she was visiting last year and had a HEART-ATTACK the first night my parents were here! That knowledge made a lot of things fall into place both for me and my sisters. It wasn't us... it was her. And her behavior is much better, although stress, fatigue, alcohol can trigger problems. 1) Get to a counselor, minister, SOMEONE who can help. Perhaps Al-Anon? You need someone outside of this situation to talk to. Take care of yourself. 2) Get clear w/ DH on your priorities for your family. You cannot fix your mom. (Only she can do that) Your first responsibility is your family. 3) Lay things out for your mom, with DH and whoever else you need for support at your side. (Make sure your kids are somewhere else because it WILL get ugly) My DH had to rush my kids out of the house last year when my mom totally went off on me. He did not want to have them hear their grandmother calling me crude names. 4) Stand your ground. You are doing this so you can stop the cycle of depression and abuse. You have made the first step by realizing that something is wrong. You cannot help your mother, you can help your kids. Hug them, tell them you know things aren't right, tell them you will do whatever is necessary to give them a stable homelife. (And then tell yourself the same things). You can do this! Your family needs you. Losing you would be devastating. You need to demonstrate how to get through difficult situations because it is something they will probably face someday. Show them what a strong, loving person looks like when she is defending her nest!

dd12 is using Latin Prep 1 this year and loves it! (Cannot stress that enough!) From my understanding, So You Want to Learn Latin is an earlier version of Latin Prep. The LP books have "So you really want to learn" in smaller type on the covers.

Ditto!

I am a huge sap, especially for animal stories. So when my 1st gr. class asked me to read "Akiak" I should have known what would happen. I was barely able to finish reading... one boy went and got me a box of tissues. So many concerned little faces! I explained that I love animals very much and admire their dedication and heart and how it was this love that makes me cry. Well, that book became a favorite in our classroom! And I cried everytime I read it! When I had to have a sub. the kids would ask the sub to read "Akiak" just to see if they would cry, too. My sister met the author and told him about her sappy sister who couldn't read the book w/out crying. I now have an autographed copy :D

dd12 (7th) used Vocabulary From Classical Roots A this year and loved it! I had scheduled lessons for her, but she worked ahead in the book simply because she enjoyed the work! She's really liked the tools she gained that can help her decipher unfamiliar words in the future. I've already bought VFCR B & C for next year! I don't know about the lower levels. I've had good success with Wordly Wise for my younger dd when she was 2nd gr. This year she's been using Shurley English, which has vocabulary built-in, although it doesn't use/explain roots, etc. I may look into the lower levels of VFCR for next year.

all for your advice. I knew it was one of those times where I was too close to the situation (and perhaps had too much baggage from my own childhood?) to see things clearly. We'll put them in separate lessons and I've cautioned DD12 about making smart-alect comments and being gracious with her younger sister. I'm not asking her to hide her light under a bushel... just not to MAKE DD9 anymore aware of the difference than she would be if DD12 was just another kid at the barn.

Hi! I am in my second year of HSing. I also have a 3rd grade DD. She just turned 9 (great for her, but a bummer to see my "baby" gettin older). I'm 43... sometimes that's old, sometimes it's young... all depends on my attitude and who I'm hanging around with! I'm pretty new here on the WTM board... although you wouldn't know it 'cause I seem to have a problem keeping my opinions to myself.

The first night we were in our rental house was really rainy (imagine that... rain on the windward side?:D) Everyone else was in bed and I had just put the dog into the bedroom w/ DH. I was walking from the bathroom to bedroom when a HUGE centipede came under the outside door and went RIGHT INTO THE BEDROOM!!!! I quickly opened the bedroom door, the dog came running out with an expression on his face that said, "I don't know WHAT that was, but I'm outta here!" (and the dog is 50lbs!) I saw the centipede and trapped it under the dog's water bowl. Now... how to kill it? I went through the kitchen looking for a weapon, but couldn't bring myself to use any of MY stuff to kill a centipede. I finally decided to wake DH and get his help. We got a broom & shovel. The idea was that DH would chop the centipede w/ the shovel and I'd sweep it up. Easy, right? Well, everytime DH struck at the centipede, it would lash it's body out of the way and lunge at the shovel. So I held it down w/ the broom and DH managed to chop it in half. BOTH HALVES STARTED CRAWLING TOWARDS US!!!! I was freaking! We kept chopping until we had little bits of barely moving centipede. As we were cleaning up we heard our kids calling to us. Turns out we'd been shrieking and yelling during our battle w/ the bug! I don't think the kids believed us when we told them that nothing was going on and to go back to sleep! We've seen a few centipedes since then, but we are too smart to try chopping them up!

My thoughts, prayers and sympathy are with your sister, her family and all the people affected by the storm. I hope they are able to salvage treasures and quickly rebuild their lives.

DD12 is one of those kids who KNOWS what her skills are... she's tall, willowy, intelligent... She never tries anything that is outside of her skill area unless forced, so she always seems to be good at EVERYTHING. She's not the driven kind of kid who wants to win at everything, but to outsiders (and her little sister) things come really easily to her. (Ballet, gymnastics, art, all areas of school, etc.) DD9, on the other hand, is average height, has a little baby-fat, slightly dyslexic (it is under control, she just needs to go at things differently), average at school work, etc. DD9 used to do gymnastics & ballet because her sister was already doing them, so it was easy to just have both kids do the same thing. Then I LOOKED at DD9 and realized she'd be hitting some walls physically pretty soon in those activities that demand certain body types. So when she expressed an interest in horse riding (a long-dormant passion I share) I was excited for her to have something that was all her own. She wouldn't need to be in her sister's shadow! DD9 has been riding since April and is doing well. Nothing stellar, but she's been invited to join the pony club at our barn and is now jumping, etc. (tiny jumps). DD12 was fearful of riding since having a bad experience when she was 7. She's come to the barn w/ us a lot and after months of being around horses, finally said that she'd like to do a few lessons just to prove to herself she could conquer this fear. Well, it's been about 6 weeks, and guess what? She's already showing signs of strong talent at riding (her instructor pulled me aside to tell me this), and has been talking about giving up ballet and switching to riding! So here is my problem: One part of me wants to keep riding as the special area of DD9, who NEEDS something/somewhere that she can excel. On the other hand, what kind of parent would I be if I told a kid w/ talent that they couldn't pursue/develop that talent, not because of finanacial concerns, etc, but rather because it would cramp little sister's ego? How do I make this work for both kids? DD9 always feels so inferior to her sister (funny thing is DD9 has the long blond hair, big blue eyes, etc., but is blind to her looks) Like so many of us, DD9 focuses on her shortcomings and needs lots of support from her family to feel good about herself. Help!

That's where we were living until last summer when the LL put the house on the market! We loved being able to walk our kayaks down to the water and kayak out to the sandbar!

I agree. I've decided that this is the election year where I educate my dds about the process (not just cute "elections" for favorite flavors of ice cream, etc.) Try explaining our political system to a very wise, very sensible DD12... the looks I get are priceless!

Aaah! But have you encountered any centipedes yet?! I've been terrified of hitting a mongoose accidentally w/ the car ever since a friend told me that mongeese (sp?) mate for life and if one gets killed, the other will just sit by its mate and wait. If you live on Oahu and ever see a car w/ NJ plates in a ditch you'll know I was trying to avoid a mongoose!

We've had problems w/ missing pencils for years. At least I know the reason. We have a cat that can't resist pencils. If they are on the table, he's gotta knock them off! And once they're on the floor he starts skittering them around until he gets the stuck someplace he can't get to! Once I lifted up my ds's portable dance floor and found about 20 pencils under there!:rolleyes: (No wonder the floor was wobbly!)

When DD was 7 we found a skull in the woods. We brought it home and she took it to school. At the time she had a phenomenal teacher who also had all kinds of cool stuff in her classroom. She helped DD identify it as a racoon skull and the kids all had a great time examining it. Later, while living in CA, my younger DD took the skull for show and tell. The teacher was appalled that I let my kids keep a skull. She said something along the lines of "only you would let your kids have something like that". That was an eye-opener for me. I'd always thought it was a great chance to get to explore biology hands-on! Maybe that's part of why we are HSing now! Let her keep it, but also use it as a chance to talk about how people have differing feelings/reactions to such things and why.

DH knows if he hears me LOLing at the computer I am at the LOLcat site! My kids get mad if I go there without them. That's our reward for a good school day!

My whole world seems to be scrambled time-zones and mixed-up schedules. I live in HI, all my family is East Coast. I'm coordinating a trip to visit friends in Japan. They are 4 hours behind, but it's tomorrow there! DH is military... don't even get me started about the hours I keep when he is deployed "somewhere"! And then the kids get up and I'm tuckered out and just hoping they have a smooth day. I used to watch movies I knew would make me cry, so I could release the stress and sleep.

Don't forget the time of year. When I was student teaching in Baltimore, I was a little surprised when my mentor teacher commented that about half the class would be different kids after 2/1. When I asked why, she explained that a lot of families over-extend themselves for Christmas and then can't pay the January rent. By February they've had to move someplace else. Late January/February can be really tough months for folks living on the financial edge, recession or no recession.

I get headaches that I refer to as "migraines" (like nails through the temples, don't want to do anything but lie down KWIM) After many years of taking ever-increasing doses of Ibuprofen, I finally made a connection. When my sinuses are irritated, the pressure causes irritation on nerve endings. Those nerves go down into my shoulders which is why I end up not only having a migraine, but also having muscle spasms in my neck/shoulders (I end up w/ my shoulders up towards my ears if I let it go too long.) What I've found that works: Taking a decongestant (REAL Sudafed) and, only if truly needed, 1 Ibuprofen. Then, having someone else comb my hair. Sounds silly, but there are nerve endings that are impacted by slight tugging on your hair, particularly if you lie down on your stomach and have someone "back-comb" your hair, from the base of your neck towards the crown. I focus on doing some relaxation techniques as my hair is combed. It works more often than not, at least for me. Now what I have are probably not true migraines. But I guess there wouldn't be any harm in having someone comb your hair? At the very least you get a little pampering. Plus, my kids think it's a hoot to see my hair when I sit up after having it back-combed! My thoughts are with you. It's lousy to have your body let you down.

Of course "Lost" is filmed here on Oahu. Up until last summer we were renting a house right down the street from where they film a lot of the jungle scenes. Everytime we see the production crew set up (hard to miss!) I was sooo tempted to stop by and snoop! :D My kids get a kick out of living so close to where they film. I TiVo the show and save jungle clips for the kids to watch! We also try to figure out the locations in other scenes. I do find the storyline frustrating... I want at least a few answers!!!!:eek:

We're a military family, and when we lived in MD I taught 1st grade, and the local library system was wonderful! As a new teacher I didn't have a huge collection of books for my classroom, but each week I took a dishpan to the library and filled it up with books to use in the classroom that week! The kids loved walking in and seeing all new books lined up in the chalktray! (And I got a kick out of hearing/watching them!) Then we moved to SoCal, where the library was lousy! The children's section was half empty and most of the books were nearly as old as I was, (and that ain't young! :rolleyes:). The city was building a huge new library when we moved away and making a big deal about it. I thought it would have been a better use of money to just fill the existing library's shelves with books. Who needs a gorgeous, empty library? Now we are in Hawaii and I am in love with the library system. Great online access, free e-books (we are currently learning Japanese!), very helpful staff, lots of branches, and we can order books from any branch in the state. Granted, it's not a huge state, but it tickles me to get a book stamped from one of the other islands. (I'm easily amused!). My kids look forward to getting work done on our car because the library is across the street, so we go hang out there for a couple hours. We've done this so often, the mechanic knows to buzz my phone 'cause it's on silent mode, and I'll go into the lobby to call him back!!!

Way back... when I was in college, I guess, I read something in a novel about how you could always spot a person who was poor or new rich because they could never be comfortable relaxing in the presence of a servant who was working. At the time, I thought that was a bunch of hogwash... that I would have no problem kicking back w/ my feet up while a maid cleaned my house! Somewhere along the way I have changed. The few times I hired someone to clean my house because I was swamped w/ work from my at-home business, I found that the days my house was being cleaned were my most productive because I couldn't even stand to take a break to get lunch, etc. while someone else was cleaning/working around me. In a way it hurt to realize that I will never be able to enjoy luxury or lounging around because my work ethic gets in the way. I used to feel pinched when I watched all the other moms w/ their big SUVs and Nordstrom wardrobes (nothing re-used from last year, mind you!), buying new houses each year or new SUVs if they didn't get the new house! But now I know that for the most part it was all smoke and mirrors. Many people have the world crashing around them. And they may not have the work ethic that would allow them to do what is necessary to get by. They have to learn that skill at a late age, and that ain't easy. So I guess I do have some luxury in the form of stability and a can-do attitude. Like the tortoise, slow and steady will get me (and my family) to the finishline... and even if we don't finish first, I think finishing is just fine!

This sounds similar to what I try to do (Unless I am totally stressed, then LOOK OUT!). I tell me DDs, "That was not the correct response. What would have been the right way to handle that situation/express your feelings?" (I provide guidance w/ their responses) If they balk at working on a more appropriate version, then they get to go someplace quiet and write in their journal about the situation and how it could have been handled better. They can return to normal family life when they have completed that task. We've only gone to writing once or twice. I don't let DD12 use hormones as an excuse. We take more of a "They're here to stay for the next 40 years or so, so learn to work around them!" We work on recognizing the symptoms and that helps a lot. Now DD9 is a very different sort... my family jokes she's destined to be a lawyer. That kid couldn't/wouldn't back down from an argument if her life depended on it! I have to get through the "shield" before I can have the "better response" discussion with her. I've found that a prolonged, soothing hug, some motherly shushing and "we'll get through this" works wonders... she loses all the tension in her body, and then we can start to talk, still w/ my arms around her. I just wish I could remember to take those steps sooner... I get pulled into her fights far more than I would like. Again... all of the above apply when I am not stressed... these kids got those attitudes from somewhere, and I see the source everytime I look in the mirror!:rolleyes: