Beautiful!! I love the pictures!!

Yes, I was thinking something similar when I read the "he's so sneaky!" type comments. Him letting the kids play games when mom isn't home is no more "sneaky" than mom refusing to let the kids play games when dad isn't home. Him turning it on when Mom is otherwise occupied is no more "deceitful" than her turning it off when Dad is otherwise occupied. On a matter like this, I don't think one can fairly or realistically totally veto the other; all they can (and should) do is work out some sort of compromise.

This IS a great post. Sometimes I spend large amounts of time at my computer. Sometimes I get lost in a book for hours. Sometimes I watch TV for hours. Sometimes *I* like to play video games. All of these things are just a way of relaxing, occupying your time, having fun. Do you feel like your husband isn't spending enough time with YOU or something? Or is it really about the gaming itself? Would it not bother you if he spent hours all day down in a basement doing woodworking? If he sat in front of the TV? If he went out all the time? Did something else that meant he wasn't necessarily tuning into you? If it's more a matter of that, maybe you two need to start planning date nights. See if you can come up with a hobby or a new activity that you can start doing sometimes together. But the video games... I think you need to compromise. If he's not playing games that are objectionable because of content (too violent or something), and that's how he and his dad bond, try not to worry about it so much, especially if you can compromise a bit on the when/for how long aspect of things. If you're not home though- stay out of it. Would you want your husband telling you what you can and can't do with the kids while he goes out and you're home with them? Of course not- that'd probably cause you to be highly offended and irritated. When you're home with the kids, you make the parenting choices. When he's home, he does. If it's something EXTREMELY objectionable then of course you have to talk it out and come to an agreement on where you both draw the line on certain things.. but if it's just that he's a bit more lax about screen time than you...well, you can't always have it just your way, he's a parent, too. Sometimes it's hard relinquishing that control. But sometimes you have to.

I'm sorry. Do you think he maybe feels that your younger son gets more attention or something? Does he have any activity or some such that's just for him- something that would teach him a good attitude and some self discipline... maybe some sort of martial arts/self defense class (where he can learn respect AND get extra exercise and so on)... maybe a scout group... some such. Does he get to do things one on one with you? With your husband? Maybe you guys can start alternating leaving one child behind with one parent to do something together while the other parent and child go out on a special outing and the next week (or month or whatever) switch. Maybe when he's being very calm and you guys are getting along you and he can do something quiet and fun together and just kind of chat about how you love him so much and you wish that you and he could get along better and not fight so much and what does he think- maybe you'll be surprised at what he tells you when you're having an intimate moment together. Maybe he needs some sort of counseling or behavior therapy. Has he always had a hard time with his behavior/controlling himself, or is it a more recent thing? Maybe you should talk to his doctor. Is he on any sort of medication that might be affecting his personality? I'm sorry, it sounds really difficult and stressful, I hope that things improve one way or another! :grouphug: ETA: P.S. You should try reading the book "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk."

Yep, I agree. It's not like you're changing the locks and refusing him a bed when he does want to visit home. But he doesn't LIVE there anymore. He lives at school, he's not even coming home for the summer anymore, and presumably he's going to get his own place after college. You don't need to keep his old room like a shrine... it's time to pass the torch and let the younger one enjoy the same benefits he did when he was younger and still lived at home. He's being a little selfish/immature, and you're being totally reasonable. He'll get over it! ETA: And at his age, that wouldn't have bothered me. But then again.. at his age, I was already a mom. :P

A little bit of both. I stop making totally unhealthy things that I used to (like processed mac and cheese, things that are really greasy, fatty, etc- not that I made those things all the time or anything but still). Now instead we have more chicken, more fish, more lean meats etc. They are prepared in health ways, and the whole family eats that main dish for dinner. We all eat vegetables. So the only thing that is SOMETIMES prepared differently for the kids is a side. For instance, I've tried, but for a long time I couldn't get them to eat brown rice. So I might make some brown for me and some white for them. I might use I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray for me, but real butter for them. I might buy low-cal wraps for me if we're having something like fajitas, but regular wraps for them. That kind of thing. It works out pretty well!

I found it on somebody's blog through the 52 books blog. There, it said, for EST (which is relevant to you and I)... 1:33 AM - Eclipse begins. Earth's shadow will appear as a dark-red bite at the edge of the lunar disk. Takes about an hour for "bite" to expand and swallow the moon. Totality commences at 2:41 AM and lasts 72 min. If you're only going to sneak out for a minute, go at 3:17 AM. Moon will be in deepest shadow, displaying the most fantastic shades of coppery red. --- I wish I remembered WHOSE blog I read that on so I could link you but I looked at bunch and just jotted those notes down on a notepad.

Me, too. When I was pregnant with my third (and last) I really wanted him to be a boy as I already had two girls. And he was! Yay! (No "shettling" here, it just worked out that way). That doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved him if he was a girl- but I think it's nice to have both. To each her own, though! :D

Sorry.... but... :lol:

:iagree:

Aw. I'm sure it's normal to be nervous. I'm also sure you will do fine! Mind over matter... keep telling yourself positive things. And have fun! :)

See, and while I'm on WW, I NEVER, ever, eat any of my AP's (activity points). I don't want to exercise in order to trade the points in for food. I want to exercise to help me lose weight faster! :)

I think you should calmly and nicely tell him how you feel and why. He's not going to read your mind. Either that, or continue giving him the list and like someone else said, let go of the desire of being surprised. Or surprise him more often and then give him a wink and tell him you like surprises, too. I will usually just tell my husband what I want. Or we'll each shop for what we want. Or we'll decide to put money toward a getaway or trip instead of 'things.' Sometimes he surprises me with something. Sometimes he doesn't. Often I'd prefer he not- I'd rather get something I definitely want lol.

I put farther. Too much drama when we're closer. I feel that way about my mother (who does live close by) and my husband's mother (who doesn't live close by). On the other hand, I wish his father and step mother lived closer, they're great, wonderful with the kids, fun to hang out with, zero drama, etc.

Ooh, I really like those! I think it's a good gift!

Aww lol. Poor kid. Yeah, just wait. It's not worth that sort of conflict!

Ah. Hm. Well, maybe in your case you could play the sympathy card and see if she'll be willing to donate things to the Salvation Army for kids who don't have/can't afford as many toys...? Maybe you can get her to put aside a "donate" box, and then see if you can convince her to do a "yard sale" box that you can set aside for a time when you can have a yard sale, and then tell her she can use the money toward something she really wants, or to put in a savings account, or just to have, or whatever? If you get that far with her, maybe a little encouragement along the lines of "Look how nice your room is coming along! Doesn't it look good? Maybe we can get rid of just these few things since they're broken, and then maybe we can go to the store and pick out a nice new poster for your wall!" or some such. (ETA: though if she's good about cleaning and organizing then maybe it isn't such a big deal anyway!)

I didn't get rid of anything she really loves- I just told her look, your room is a huge mess, you can't keep it organized, you can't even find the things you DO play with, let's just get rid of this...this....you don't play with this anymore...you're kind of old for this...etc...if there was anything she really resisted I left it (and some of the stuff I snuck out beforehand, things I knew she wouldn't even notice). But most of it she was a pretty good sport about! Hopefully she'll have an easier time keeping her room clean now!

And here are the after pics (see my last post, on the previous page for the before pics- they were bad!) :D (And now I really need to clean 5 y/o ds's room because that's trashed, too. But not today- I'm tired. I can't keep up with these kids! lol.

:iagree: My 10 y/o daughter is the same way. When her room is out of control, I have to take a day where I can spend a few hours helping her thoroughly clean, organize, get rid of some stuff, etc. Then I give her the talk about how doesn't she want a nice room and all she has to do is put things back when she's done and if she spent 5 minutes a night making sure things were put away before she went to bed, it would be so much easier to keep her room clean and it doesn't have to turn into a disaster area like this again and blah blah blah. And she agrees, and I think she means well, but before I know it, it's trashed again. She's just not organized or disciplined enough. The only thing that works after I help her get it clean and organized to begin with, is me going in there once a day and directing her 'Okay do this... now do that.. now this... now that...' until it's all clean again, which only takes a few minutes. If I do that each day, it will stay nice. But if I slack off and don't do it for a few days- disaster area. Which is usually what happens. So I need to get on top of her room myself- and then stay on top of it! In fact, you should see it right now. Wait... I'll go take pictures. I'll brb LOL. <leaves screen open and comes down a long time later> :P Okay. Here are a few before pictures! I just got rid of like 3 garbage bags full of stuff- some was actual garbage, some was just stuff she outgrew broke, or never plays with. I did a lot myself but ended up asking both girls to help me. We organized, straightened, threw things out, brought clothes down to the laundry and so on. I just vacuumed. Excuse the bare mattress in the after pictures, the bedding's in the wash lol... but anyway yeah, here's what it looked like when I first read your thread... (I'll put after pictures in my next post; top of the next page).

WHAT? Bon Jovi on the OLDIES station? Are you kidding me?! :svengo:

So, I went to the store, I bought the ingredients for these scrambled egg muffins, and to make it super easy on myself, I bought a bag/pouch of fully cooked, turkey sausage crumbles, and used that for both the convenience and the lower-fat aspect. Everything else was super easy. They're in the oven right now and they smell good! I hope everyone likes them over here! ETA: I forgot to update. The kids picked out most of the green pepper and onion but they liked the rest of the stuff in it, and my husband and I both really liked them! Next time we'll put different kinds of veggies. Maybe some spinach, tomato, mushroom, low sodium bacon instead of the turkey sausage, etc.

This is really cute: http://www.amazon.com/Once-Upon-Time-Creative-Writing/dp/0811842274

I knew one family who had 7 boys. But most families I know have fewer kids and they are mixed genders.

I'd call to find out when a manager or owner was going to be in. Then I'd stop in with the shirt while she was there. And I would ask if I could speak with her and then I'd tell her (in a very polite manner- you know, honey, not vinegar) that you hate to get anybody in trouble but you wanted to tell her about an experience you had there recently and I'd show her the discolored shirt and explain what had happened... if there customer service is even remotely decent, she will apologize and either offer to reimburse you or will give you a gift certificate to use at her store for free services in the future.