:grouphug: That's very frustrating.

Can you relocate to a state where high school admission is not exam-based?

I didn't realize it was an American thing--my European friends definitely did not have toys in the living room. I think if you have room, playroom, if not, it stays in the bedroom. In my experience Americans are the ones who tend to have toys all over the house or toys in the living room. I can't deal with that. I mean, I can, of course. But I don't cope well.

I put most. I think it's about 4/5 because I'm flaky. :( I think I disappoint people. I try not to but I forget things! So I like people who may not be able to tolerate forgetfulness. I don't take things personally, so I like most people. Anyone who reads into things is probably not going to like me, whereas I might like them in spite of the fact that they are overthinking everything, because I know it's just them and that's okay. I'm the one who might thoughtlessly, presumptuously bring someone a muffin, just trying to be nice. 20% of people seem to find that irksome. But here I am, just bringing the muffins.

I would like you to think of how much you would pay me to store it so you could have a clean room. If that amount is less than it would cost new or easily-found used, then give it away and consider the cash you're saving to re-purchase as storage money. You're storing it in the capitalist merchandise cloud. If the amount you'd pay me to store it is MORE than it would cost to replace, then go ahead and store it. To you, storing is worth more. For me, I would pay almost nothing for storing old toys, etc. If I were to replace nearly my entire home, it would cost me two days and maybe $2000? We don't have a lot of nice stuff. Certainly all the knicknacks together would not be more than $1k. That said, my kids are hoarders and I have a hard time getting them to give up toys and I'm not one to purge in secret.

Yes. I need a tidy, clean sitting room and clean kitchen counter. Clorox wipes. I do minimal rinsing and shove everything in the dishwasher. Everything else can be falling apart but I need that space to sit and to know I can make food. I also keep Clorox wipes in the bathroom and wipe down the toilet once a day. So no matter what a guest can visit and see that we are clean people and have a place to sit down and have coffee. Sometimes the person who enjoys that is just me. Even when we had just an apartment, toys stayed in the bedroom. So while I think a tidy home is unrealistic, a tidy room and clean sinks and toilets thanks to Clorox or Kirkland wipes, are not. But it's a process. It gets better!

Many of our dyscalculic, disadvantaged, and/or math-phobic students start in basic math. Many of them finish college-level math; some (though few) go into STEM fields. I would appreciate it if you'd reconsider how you phrase basic skills and pre-college math. To my mind, you might be late and you might take a while but there is nothing boneheaded about taking your basic math in college. One step at a time, doing your best, is awesome. There is nothing boneheaded about it.

Yes. 18th percentile and 50th percentile are actually great, depending on the grade, if there has been little formal instruction.

But that unpleasantness has to do with your issues. You don't want to say, "I'd love a coffee but please no muffin today." That's your issue, not hers. The first time it happens, compost the muffin guilt free. The next time she offers, be assertive. It is not anyone's job to make sure you don't have to express yourself. If she repeatedly goes against your wishes but you otherwise enjoy her company, it's as simple as, "thanks Betty but I'd rather meet at the library. I appreciate your kindness but I just want to see you, not to get a muffin." Again, it is never anybody's job to read your mind or guess your boundaries. We live in a pluralistic, diverse society. Expecting people to guess boundaries and having feelings about their bad guesses could give anybody social anxiety!

Challenge accepted. It's a hive contest. Recipes to be posted by Halloween night.

I don't see what's to "handle". "Thank you, how sweet--haha, no pun intended." "Blah blah why no eat muffin?" "You know I think I'll enjoy it more later but thank you!" Maybe "enjoying" will be thinking of Betty and giving it to a kid or husband. Who cares. Betties and Kates can both get over it.

Amen!

Here's a radical idea. Depending on where they're going, bring a math book just in case and take classes locally. Sink or swim. Of course that would only work if they actually have high schools there. But then mom wouldn't have to do any grading at all.

I had such teachers in late high school and college. They were the best. They pushed me further. If I got a C in that class, I would ask that teacher for a letter of recommendation. Then when they see the transcript they can link it to the teacher and realize that the grade is really meaningful. Or they can study more and try harder to be exceptional. Go in more during office hours. That's what I learned to do.

Confession: We drive more than that. I can't think and talk and drive at the same time so mostly it's Rock and roll 101 courtesy KZOK and the End. "And this is Jimi Hendrix, kids. He was from right here in Seattle but he thought it was provincial so he went to London. Do you know where London is?" "Mommy, what does 'provincial' mean?" "First tell me where you think London is. Do you remember if it's a city or a country?"

At 14 she's not overreacting. She's asking a reasonable question about social norms. I still agree with your DH about Betty and Kate though. Betty can't possibly think of every eventuality regarding muffins. Sometimes you just have to pull the gluten-filled trigger and try to do something nice. Otherwise life will be full of walking on eggshells.

So long as you're not in the Puget Sound area. That's MY new library branch there on the Eastside...

So to clarify: The child is above grade level in both areas. This is a child under the age of 7. There is an unusually large gap between geometric and logical reasoning. To my mind, this sounds like a child who is precocious in geometric reasoning but not in critical thinking, but who has not reached the age at which many children hit symbolic / abstract thinking anyway. I would not "remediate" in that case. If the school's curriculum is bad, then I'd support the child with my own curriculum. In kindergarten, that would be a lot of games and movement to develop number sense. Timing things, counting things. Lots and lots of lego, bicycle riding / trike riding, swinging, and Candyland counting the squares. Sports, counting goals, and getting concrete objects to hang the numeric hat on--that would be my priority. Call me old fashioned, but in my world, there's nothing wrong with a child not being advanced in two areas equally. I apologize if I have mischaracterized the situation and therefore given bad advice.

I am sorry that happened to you but appreciate your posting. The first thing I did when I moved in with my partner was to take down the ginormous painting over the headboard. "We're on the Pacific Rim!" I didn't change anything but that at this home. I've always felt I was a bit paranoid but now I feel vindicated. I'm glad nobody was hurt.

I don't think everyone is as aware of food allergies and sensitivities as they could be. So I voted that Betty was absentminded but what I really think was that it was neither extra-nice nor rude of Betty. I'm assuming this did not follow a long conversation about the pains of gluten sensitivity, or some muffin-related allergic reaction. Xposted. While I understand that your daughter is still sussing these things out, and I don't think it's overreacting for a young teen to bring this up with parents, I think your DH is right about the muffin. It's just a muffin. Over-thinking these things will drive a person crazy.

Yes. Like others have said, it's very common. Cook as usual. Meat and fish are just full of worms, bacteria, etc. Usually we can't see them. I would not, however, eat it as sushi. For that, I want a professional preparing it.

My high school only offered two years so I took an independent literature study my junior year and was a TA my final year. My suggestion would be that if he intends to continue one in college, I would do a practicum for Spanish by volunteering and doing a write-up once a week for one year, and then a lit study (mild) for the last year. You don't have to keep going through those. Or he could do dual-enrollment for the fourth year. I am not sure about admissions but I do think there are alternatives to book series for those who finish the series before high school's up.

You mean the sizes are larger than what they used to be? I hope not. :( I've gone down in size. I'm hoping it's the fitting advice I got from Oprah.

I'm so sorry to hear about your nephew and great-nephew, Ellie. :( I honestly don't know why so many people think it's a good idea to come to San Francisco and Seattle to become homeless. It's terribly expensive and damp. I hope Baby Bobby is safe.

THIS HAPPENED TO US RECENTLY!!! They said we cancelled but I did NOT. I was so pissed off. Livid. It is uncharacteristic of them.