I don't think true narcissism is rare. You just can't diagnose unwilling people lol

Yes, it's overused but most of the time I don't take it to mean they have the personality disorder. That is very hard to get a result about because if they are a true narcissist they will most likely refuse any testing. I take it to mean they are narcissistic. Not necessarily they have NPD. I took a Narcissistic Abuse Recovery class and even second-guess some traits. Like a narcissist will "never do this" and "always do that" and then if xh didn't fit that mold exactly I'd question, "does that mean he's NOT one or does that mean we are too quick to define how each person can act within that label?" I occasionally watch videos by a guy with diagnosed NPD and he will give insights on how the narcissist thinks. I honestly cannot believe his wife is still with him. I guess he's trying to change, but if I was her I'd question if he was even trying to change or just making videos for "supply." And how does that help her? I believe my xh is a "communal narcissist" aka white knight. But it's not talked about much. I liken it to the cobbler whose family has no shoes. Everyone has narcissistic traits, but if they are really strong, then I feel ok using the term narcissist.

I can't speak for her, but for me if it's a homework task, I'd probably write the task down on the day it was assigned like "start working on ABC project" and then again "ABC project due" and maybe another time like, "finish ABC project." But with a birthday party I would have the party on the day of the party and might have a reminder a day or two out like, "buy present." Lol.

I wonder if she meant half the spread? One day on the left of the binding and one on the right?

I mean they could just be flipping through their books at home? If it was me, I'd flip through my week. If the assignment was due like 2 weeks out, I'd write it down the second week (or both). Dd's teacher asked the kids to get a small planner where the kids will eventually write down their own homework (though I think the homework will still be available on an app for the parents to see). Currently the homework is posted in her take home folder but I'm not sure if they will wean off of that? Anyway, she described what the planner on the school supply list meant. Xh had already bought one but when I looked at it, it didn't look like it left much room for writing (given that dd is in second grade I like to think she may need extra space). So I bought her a smaller one with lots of blank lines. I told her just use whatever you want/need. When I was homeschooling I had a planner with days as well as a monthly spread and I had major things on the monthly spread so I could see at a glance.

When you look at a chart to base the range, are you looking at a chart that includes body frame size? I notice that some charts include those and some do not. When I go by a frame size chart I am allowed to be a lower weight for normal. If I go by another chart it will have my target weight higher than I think is good for me. I have a small frame and feel best when I'm in a lower weight (example: for my height a chart with frame size suggests 117-130 lbs. A medium frame suggestion is 127-141. Quite a difference if you ask me). My current goal is 125 lbs but it will take time and once I get closer to that goal I might change my mind. I am in the high 160s now (started in low 180s several weeks ago). Based on your BP readings I don't think weight is necessarily a contributing factor. You had some decent readings at your current weight. If you decide to alter your eating at all there might be some minor things. Like I switched breads. I don't eat bread all the time but when I do, I try to stick to the Food for Life brand (Ezekiel mostly. I've been eating that as toast w/ unsweentened apple sauce sometimes. I have also bought their English muffins). These are no sugar breads, complex carbs, lower calorie compared to their counterparts. I don't know your age, but my thinking is losing weight in general can be difficult (especially for women) but if you want to, easier now than later? My weight has stayed the same the last couple days. I haven't eaten great though. So I guess if I want to get the weight down I gotta be more intentional. I ate rice this week because the kids were here and it's a good meal stretcher. I normally avoid rice.

Today 8000 steps mostly from just misc walking around the house and stop at the store. Approx 1 hr on bike (450 calories according to bike) & short Get Fit with Rick video which consisted of 1600 of the steps. I forgot to try out the video in this thread. I don’t know what I get in steps on the bike (my pedometer doesn’t fit around my ankle but for fun I could tie to my shoelaces one day).

When you do your checks, do you ever drink a glass of water beforehand? I think that's supposed to help and I'd do it right before the dr visits, too. Yes, that's definitely a level of stress you can't just turn off! I know I was a lot less stressed at my recent BP reading than probably the prior one since my divorce had been finalized and I'd gotten away from my awful landlord.

@Jenny in Florida I may try that chair video! Glad it wasn't as humid for your morning walk.

I'm still not on track with exercise, but I'll eventually get there. Late last night I did a 5 min YouTube warm up video, then my HIIT video, then a 5 min cool down video... though the cool down seemed to be a little bit of a work out compared to what I expected lol. Not hard, but just felt like I was getting my heart rate up again rather than down. I'm still trying to find the best warm up/cool down videos for me. They are kind of a blow to the ego because so many do these stretches that I cannot do (yet). I hope to one day be more flexible. I know that my calves are tighter than they should be, hence the plantar fasciitis (which has stayed at bay mostly) but I don't know how long it should take to reverse that so that I could actually stretch properly. Super annoying. I mean months of wearing night splints, off/on stretching on the foot board... and I feel as inflexible as I was before. Yoga stuff just makes me mad (frustrated) so I try to find warm up/cool down videos that don't look like yoga. I haven't studied it but my dad used to say do not roll your neck. And so so so many people do that in their stretching videos! Then I question their credibility with anything else they tell me to do. I was planning on doing 30 min on the bike last night (yeah I know that makes no sense after a cool down maybe... ) but then dd got out of bed and I gave up. @Laura Corin I know you explained it somewhere, but I can't remember... why are you on a restricted sleep pattern? Is it like fasting? The mosquitos are bad here. I spoke to my neighbor outside and got eaten alive last night. At least I had on pants so it was just my arms. @Ali in OR oh my gosh that sounds insanely stressful. And that's amazing your BP made such a leap between recent tests. Do you think you have a little "white coat syndrome" at the doctor's office? @Soror I hope you feel better soon. At least the swimming is low impact. @wintermom we are our worst critics. As for swim wear, I wear swim shorts and a rash guard (I wear my padded sports bra under but to each their own). I bought them both on Amazon. I was getting a little chubby for the rash guard so I went up a size and then this summer wore it and realized duh since it didn't cling to me as much it wanted to float up in the pool!! I was like yeesh I guess I'll just stick with the one that will stay put LOL

I just googled to see what Sally (I use her site sometimes) said on the topic. She is in favor of freezing unfrosted. Maybe the make it/break it thing is how you wrap. @Quill https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/make-ahead-baking/

Even doing that, I don’t really have much freezer space. I’m imagining at least a dozen cupcakes. I guess I would clear area in advance/eat down some of the freezer in anticipation. The freezer bottom has ridges and the shelf has holes so I’d try to slide in a cookie sheet if that fit. But I would want them wrapped, too. Do you freeze unwrapped initially? Then move to a bag or such?

@mommyoffive camps? How long do they run or is this considered an end of summer camp? My kids returned to school this week. Every time I turn around their school picks a new uniform distributor. Last year was Land’s End (polo with school logo ran like $40). But the kids can continue to wear the LE stuff this year. The new place is more affordable but xh is still waiting on orders. They ship to the school now to save. I don’t think they care where the bottoms come from but the tops with logo are more complicated. I’m not 100% sure. Anyway unless xh requests money, I assume my child support will just have to help. He says it goes straight to tuition, though. He got dd a new backpack & lunch bag. I have 2 of her lunch bags here. I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them. They’re still functional backups or for other outings. My boss proposed this side gig and then never followed up after my last email so I dropped it. It’s not worth it. I am still waiting on my car title so haven’t started paying auto ins yet. I was mistaken about being hired by Tutor Me Education. If you read the email closely they say you can move forward with the application process (after an initial misleading you’ve been accepted type thing). I didn’t have time to devote to watching the tutorials etc yet but there is no curricula. I think it operates like Wyzant where you just book through them. Probably not even a practical source of side income unless you find families that want virtual lessons so you save gas. I may eventually finish setting it up. Still moving into my new home and a little annoyed about bugs and rodents. Clearly this home has bugs so I ordered food grade Diatomaceous Earth but what a pain. There’s a critter (or more) running through my walls/attic??? I told the landlord but not sure how they will handle it. The man wanted to put poison in the entrance he saw outside but I’d rather they use another method. I see no entry to the attic from inside so I can’t even look for droppings etc. The wife agrees with me we’d rather try to get them out another way. But it’s not my money so who knows if they will hire a critter catcher or what. I need to figure out a supplemental income. I sold my a/c window unit yesterday. I’m still debating about doing a booth at the school fall fest this year. I don’t know if you need a cottage license to sell baked goods at this type of event. Obviously I need to deal with the ants etc first. But I have baked here and am very careful with my food - don’t leave it on the counter unattended. I set up a card table, actually. I learned the hard way that things mold on the counter fast. I threw out a bag of peaches and pineapple last week. I have peaches in my fridge but they’re hard so I took a couple out at a time to ripen. My dad says I need a higher paying job (I’m still in a contract with this job til Feb) but I’m not sure a) if that’s practical here and b) at what cost — lose flexibility to pick up kids from school etc. I guess I’d just pay for after school care for dd on those days if I had to. But after school goes til like 5:30 or 6 and if I worked in the city I’d be late to pick up. Ugh I’m probably overthinking it. No one believes me when I say I don’t qualify for govt/state programs. My neighbor told me to apply for this discount on phone service but per usual it’s based on income/household size and I make too much as a 1 person household. I don’t get to claim kids as dependents.

@Jenny in Florida Oh I’m sorry to hear you haven’t liked any of your jobs. I did like some of my jobs, at least for periods of time. Then they kinda went sour (like more work or conflict in the dept). I would like to think it’s possible for you to find a job you don’t dread! Maybe read the What Color is Your Parachute book or take a quiz?

I had no idea people would choose to frost before freezing. I’d worry they would be messy smidge frosting all over each other. Also how big is everyone’s freezer lol I’d shove mine in a ziplock unfrosted but not so sure after reading this thread. I don’t know if I’ve actually frozen any before. An old Wilton recipe for buttercream, which was passed to me, is a combo of crisco and butter. I have gotten away from using crisco though. https://blog.wilton.com/how-to-make-homemade-buttercream-frosting/

@Quill another idea would be to make the batter ahead. Then defrost and bake. So maybe you could make the batter the week before the party. Or the frosting. I could totally see myself getting distracted by an item like the books. I think it’s the way brains are wired and priorities or anxiety in one person vs another. Some days I know if I put that task off it will be ignored far too long so I’ll do it now. Or I can’t refocus on the party because those books are mentally distracting me. It’s mental clutter.

@Jenny in Florida I'm sorry you're having a down time. You're totally entitled to your feelings no matter if you're privileged or not. Everything is on a continuum, anyway so I think it's fine to say "this is tough for me" regardless of where others land on that continuum. I don't think I'd really want to dive into a program where I felt so much hesitation in the beginning because then I'd worry when will I throw in the towel? One semester from now? two? Three? or think I've reached the point of no return simply because I've invested X number of days or $. Maybe you can make a pro/con list? @Ali in OR how many weeks have you been dieting/exercising between visits? Sounds like just one month? I suspect that either it wasn't enough time or wasn't strict enough and those things both take time. I don't know how the pills work... I suspect you could wean yourself off of them later if need be?? But I don't know how they would determine that. For me I think part of my numbers were based on water intake and losing weight. If you changed diet, but didn't lose weight, it may not make as much impact. In order to lose weight I had to be more strict to create a calorie deficit. I hate being hungry so I've had to seek out more things that I can eat without worry about measuring so much. There are several forms of exercise, but some are more helpful for burning calories fast vs others. That's why I rely so heavily on my exercise bike. In 30 min time I can burn so much more doing that than walking for 30 min. So maybe you can try out different exercises. I really don't know how many calories my HIIT burns, but supposedly it keeps burning calories after the workout is over. @wintermom beautiful photo. I napped today and was so confused when I woke up lol. I thought it was the next morning. I've ordered a couple more curtain panels for my living room for privacy. I don't trust the blinds haha. My make shift curtain on one side of the windows fell down today. I'm just self conscious because my landlord made a comment once that I must drive to the office late or work weird hours because he saw the lights on when he was walking their dog. I asked if the lights bothered him and he said no. But I know once I get my curtains fully up they should block out any light in my living room and I won't be so self conscious if I'm up late working, watching tv, working out, etc. So stupid I even care about this stuff... but I do. I don't even know what time he was walking the dog, but I do keep weird hours. I wish I could just stay up all day and be productive but I tend to need naps and then do stuff at night.

It’s harder than I thought on that scale so I made extra boxes on my second print out and I’m still struggling a little. I figure it’ll be close and I’ll outline it all, erase pencil best I can, and add color. I treat it like one of those activity pages in a kids’ book lol “finish this drawing” using the grid.

Lol. Yesterday my forearm kept throbbing off/on and I wondered what the heck caused it. I did not want to go to the dr over it, thinking they would just say, "yeah you maybe strained it picking up the dumbbell" or whatever and possibly give me a prescription for a pain med. I iced it off/on but couldn't tell if it helped. Then last night it just stopped doing it. You've been experiencing pain for a month already, so I might not want to grin and bear it another month as it's impacting your daily life. I do like the suggestion that maybe instead of a GP someone else could have feedback. But I really don't know what they can determine/help with. I hope you can find some relief soon!!

It sounds practical to carry a pocket knife for several people, but since I don't own one it would be super weird to me to say to myself, "I'm going to a kids' birthday party. I will bring my pocket knife." I really doubt you came across as a real threat so I agree the knife had nothing to do with it (plus apparently they didn't know about it). I wonder what the heck they thought you could possibly have stolen that fit in your pocket lol. Jewelry? Probably best for the children's friendship to just wither.

If it works and your child has bad reactions maybe you could store in the glove compartment? Or move your first aid kit stuff to a flexible bag vs hard plastic or whatever it's currently in? Have you had much luck with the Bug bite thing? If I trusted it more, I would consider getting a second one for the car.

I could use some work in this area. I need to check the contents again for the one that stays in the car. I did restock band-aids this week for my house. The thing in the car was store bought and stays in a zipped cloth bag that it came in. It says “just in case” and had a flare gun and some first aid stuff. In a separate bag is my jumper cables. I think it’s most likely some alcohol wipes, gauze, band aids. For on the go maybe buy the Benadryl pills. I didn’t know about the cream. I’ll have to look into that. I’ve personally not had luck with it but the company recently told me to use this device more times and see if that helps. It’s called The Bug Bite Thing. The suction is supposed to remove the venom/itchy stuff from your body. I’m going to give it a second chance. So I guess I need to try it 3x back to back.

I thought since things had been improving that ds might enjoy the concert with me but the artist had to cancel his tour. We were supposed to go later this month. Apparently the guy got a node on his vocal cord and the dr told him to cancel. On the plus side, I got a refund and I really needed the money. Ds seemed indifferent but I was really bummed lol I’ve made some progress on the new home. I cleaned out several cupboards and started using them, hung one set of curtains in ds’ room and the massive curtain rod in the living room. I researched making the tv swivel so we can point it to different sides of the living room and I assembled the new swivel TV stand yesterday. I baked cookies this week with a recipe from their dad’s family. I set some aside for them (I get the kids Thursday after school) and gave most away. I’m friendly with my neighbor - we worked together years ago. She invited me in one day and I invited her over but she had stuff on the stove so another time. She loved the cookies so hopefully the kids enjoy them.

@Soror Excuse me, even with drop serve it has to bounce. I couldn’t remember. But I think drop serve is easier (less rules). Try it if you haven’t already. https://thepickler.com/blogs/pickleball-blog/pickleball-serving-rules

There are 2 ways to serve in Pickleball. I prefer to drop the ball to the paddle. I think the alternative is bounce the ball and then your paddle can’t rise above your waistline?? I remember when my dad told me the waistline junk I got frustrated so he told me just serve it the other way. I haven’t had time to play Pickleball because they are so far and I can’t justify the gas. Then recently in the group chat they said to s of people are showing up and how do they handle it… designate more PB nights, play to 7 instead of 11 etc. They have to figure out what rules, if any, they can implement on a public court.