I would be more concerned about how it was done than him wanting it done. Have him go to a reputable tattoo parlor as opposed to a place that has a not as sterile gun option (ie. Claire's). I never got my ears pierced. I was pressured into it by family but the gun was broken when we go there LOL. Years later I got an eyebrow pierced at a tattoo shop, but my body rejected it and it migrated out.

This is probably completely wrong but I did wonder if they meant shrunk in terms of how much we're using vs the actual space it takes up. Like less wrinkles or inactive parts.

I joined a bowling league as a substitute. The normal rate is $17/night for the players, but apparently subs don't pay that fee. We all pay a one time fee in the beginning (bowling association fees etc). I mentioned I wanted to practice and they told me that I get a discount on the practice bowling, too. So last night I went to the bowling alley and got 3 games for $5 (including shoes). I was stoked. I did really well my third game (for me it was probably my highest game to date - 174). The reason I asked to be a sub is because I knew I couldn't make the commitment/fees of the full league. I didn't know subs bowled free, though. Bad news, ds had a freak accident yesterday and involved a trip to the hospital. He got stitches and a CT scan. Thankfully he's okay. He's on xh's insurance and it's kinda crappy (have to meet a deductible before they pay for just about anything). Bracing myself for 50% of that huge bill. Good news I got a free toaster oven from a facebook group that lists items for porch pick up etc. My last one sucked so bad I got rid of it when I moved.

She didn’t say they had to sign a statement of faith but yes that’s probably a requirement. I run from those things most of the time. I hate them. I had to sign for one homeschool group and a crisis pregnancy center had one for all staff/volunteers. I told her I couldn’t sign it (was not in line with Catholicism and even had stuff about gender which didn’t sit well with me). She might meet the requirements there. Not sure if they care about parents’ past. They are asking about the child, right?

Today was crazy. I was on my way to pick up magazines but got a phone call that ds had a freak accident at school and was heading to the hospital. I don’t normally invite myself to do anything when Xh has the kids but he said I could meet them there and I decided to do that. Dd wasn’t allowed to go back in the room and we kept bouncing between a waiting room and the car/outdoors. We were told we couldn’t stay in that particular waiting area because it was reserved for families of people in surgery. It was so dumb I got kicked out lol like I should have lied and said he was having surgery? Ds got stitches and a CT scan after tripping on a rug by a door at school and landing smack into a nearby pole. He broke his glasses, gashed top of eyebrow area, fell down and skinned his elbow and passed out about 10 seconds. CT scan was normal. Stitches will be removed in 5-6 days. The ER waiting room had someone contagious with RSV and the triage nurse told me about several recent Covid cases and urged me to sit in the car. My car a/c wasn’t working right and I was wasting gas. Long story short we were told we could sit on this one bench between the waiting rooms 🙄😂 I paced back and forth for steps hoping I wouldn’t get scolded for going past my approved area lol Kids went home with dad. Picked up magazines after hours to put in car. Then went to bowling alley to practice. Got my discount. Bowled 3 games. First 2 pretty rusty. Third game 174. Whoo. Step count was over 11k today. Have guy installing cabinet doors at 7:30 am ugh. Gonna sleep now.

Maybe the school teachings are anti Catholic etc? I wouldn’t mark the child as Catholic unless I was raising them that way. I’m not keen on ABeka which has some anti Catholic stuff (upper grade history) but my son claims his teachers are very accepting of various denominations and doesn’t seem to think he’s been taught anything negative. I have no idea, though.

When we homeschooled one social group we were in did a big pool party. We found some loop hole I guess. I guess a fitness club member had to somehow get the ball rolling and then it didn't matter which of us were members or not. We had a big enough head count they made money and technically the pool wasn't reserved for just us but we had the pool to ourselves or maybe one or two random strangers because everyone had gone back to school. I collected the money one year and I was not a member, so I guess it was just pre-established with an existing member. I didn't attend every year as my kids were young/non swimmers at first. The very first year they got a massive 3-layer cake covered in fondant that said Not Back to School. I hope you have a good turn out!

Since it was time sensitive to move the kid, I figured maybe a placement test would act as a substitute for waiting and seeing his math ability? Or maybe they even have an "end of year" test for the remedial class and he could prove that it was too easy.

There’s some issue with the delivery at work so I don’t know if I’ll be leaving the house today. But I did talk to one of the people in charge of the league and she said once they know me at the bowling alley I should get discounted games (I told her I want to practice). Apparently league members get 3 games for $5 (and shoes)! I hope I can still get that as a sub. Next time I go in if the right person is working I should be able to pay my fee and get a card to carry. I didn’t buy it last night because my check book was in the car and I had to get going to catch my Walmart pick up order plus they said no rush to pay yet.

I was also wondering if the OP’s family was prepared for an ultimatum. But my biggest concern was her son’s wishes and if he’d “lose” because if no other school can take him then he has to settle for the homeschool option that can’t replicate his past HS years or being bored in math.

When ds went into brick & mortar at the private school they did a placement test. I believe he did this both times… homeschool to 3rd grade then homeschool to 7th grade. They said keep going til it’s too hard. He stopped a couple grade levels above his for math at least one of those placement tests (part of the reason I was so frustrated he didn’t go into preAlg when it was his homeschool path. Can’t remember if this happened for third and 7th but I know he did well on both placement tests). They only move kids to a higher grade if it’s more extreme (can’t remember if it was reading level specific or not) partly for social reasons. Anyway it’s possible the school has an existing test. Based on the OP’s latest post it sounds like he’d have to compromise on math if he values the social aspect. Alternatively (assuming they didn’t actually LOOK at the samples) I’d stand there in their face and point to graphing samples if I had them. Or work with him on that at home now.

Yesterday I anticipated delivering magazines for work but the delivery didn’t show up. I thought that would help my steps. I stayed at the office and did work from there. I packed a granola bar but was too hungry so later grabbed fast food. I should have put some in the break room fridge but wasn’t thinking (thought I have to eat it all or it goes to waste). That was like a 900 calorie meal. I went to the bowling league meeting last night. I was delighted to hear that subs don’t pay the nights they play. I just need to pay this one time fee. The league starts next week and there are around 10 teams. I am on call for all. I’m not sure when I can practice… website says they aren’t open til evening. First time you play they average your 3 games to set your average. I’d like to practice a little before then. I have to deliver magazines today to schools (possibly, depending on when magazines arrive) in that city but the bowling alley isn’t open during school hours. Ugh. Maybe I can just work at the office again then drive to bowling alley from there. Last night it was eating me up that I had that huge meal and didn’t even get good steps. I was exhausted, it was late, but I hopped on my exercise bike for 30 min. Better than nothing.

Hope it’s ok I quoted this Your dh is an enabler. He must put his foot down. Even if he secretly likes staying busy/not available to the family right now. This is not right. And not sustainable.

This cracked me up https://m.facebook.com/SteveOttewellTransformationCoach/videos/1667750560264291/

I still don’t understand what happened at Thanksgiving. I’m going to say this because I feel like you need to hear it. They couldn’t follow up with Thanksgiving plans/didn’t apologize or explain, then expected you to host Christmas. That’s just friggin’ rude. And your dh and you should be a united front. He should have been on the same page before responding to them. This is not YOUR fault. I’m tossing your husband under the bus on that one lol I rarely had a united front with mine and holidays were mostly defined by my in laws. It’s truly unfair and I think your dh needs to realize that and stop treating you like the bad guy. Stop feeling bad. He needs to correct his mindset. And if his parents are pissed it sounds like their problem. His FOO has some stuff to work out and maybe you were just at the wrong place at the wrong time. If not Christmas it would have been something else because they seem self centered. Just to offer another viewpoint on the job thing. So many people are struggling to hire decent employees. Don’t sell yourself short regarding his age or being the new guy. Also, it usually takes a new job to get a decent pay increase. Either your dh’s job is poor with work/life boundaries or your dh is (or both). Perhaps if he found a job with better boundaries he would be less likely to be consumed with work on the weekend. Even just one or two of those things sound stressful. Please make yourself a priority if you aren’t. Give yourself compassion. Is there a reason you couldn’t return to your old church without your dh? Does the family attend together?

It is? I tried watching the newer (2015) Odd Couple show (about the only other place I have heard the name Oscar) but it was hard to watch.

Maybe I could just try the honey because I'm scared of the fish sauce. Anytime I've had rice made with oyster sauce I'm so grossed out, it ruins the whole dish for me. I mean I've tried a couple made that way and don't want to finish them. I do have one really good sauce here but I hesitated to use it on the whole pan of rice as it seemed like overkill (sugar). It's the PF Chang's sesame sauce, but it's not really the flavor I'm trying to replicate on rice, anyway. Last night got cash back from Rakuten. It was like $9. I try to shop through Rakuten when I make my walmart purchases and a few other places. It doesn't work with Amazon, unfortunately.

Yellow rock is less cold. I definitely would try to quit a job if my boss was that awful unless it was someone I seldom had to interact with and was otherwise happy there. The coparenting app failed to meet all our needs and I always forget to look at the app. Simple communication can be annoying (telling each other things related to the children) so I probably need to put more in writing. Told him on Sunday (because he had called the kids) that I was lending ds a lunch bag since ds left his in his locker Friday. Said you can return my lunch bag at high school open house Mon. Arrived with bag Sun night at drop off and he said, “what’s this?” - explained again - he said you never told me. 🙄 “I don’t want this.” So I took the bag and left. Ugh. Lol I realized late in the game that my MIL acted narcissistic. She couldn’t apologize or be wrong. She gaslit. It was hard for me to go no contact with her as it looked like I was a b*tch or the difficult family member. But she passed away last year and we’re divorced so it’s a non issue. But I’d say grandparents can be a tricky set to deal with depending on family dynamics and traditions.

He shuts down. You may have to be firm. Like this job is impacting our lives/relationship. Something has to change.

Stay away only works for some relationships. Most therapists will acknowledge that “no contact” is not always practical. Bosses, co-parents etc. Where no contact is not practical they often recommend gray rock… or the less known yellow rock.

https://intimacyanorexia.com/intimacy-anorexia-characteristics-2/

Oh gosh the insurance is a huge burden and may be trapping him. Surely he could find another job with office hours? Not all jobs require you to work past normal business hours. Could you find out the enrollment period and see if he could somehow get a job during that window? But there still might be a delay if the job requires you to work 90 days or whatever before ins kicks in. Would a medical sharing plan work for your family? I wouldn’t do them because they tend to exclude mental health. That’s emotional anorexia. You all will need to address it. It won’t just get better. I didn’t coin the term. I can delete this post if you need me to.

I'm part of a local nanny/babysitter agency but hadn't had any luck with bookings until tonight. They needed someone to agree to an overnight stay. The kids are school age so I agreed. I wasn't going to touch that assignment with a 10 ft pole if they were in diapers lol. They need me from 4:30pm Sat-1:30pm Sun. I mulled it over and came up with a flat rate for the entire job. The biggest obstacle is trying to go to church which I'll have to do on Sun night so I'll have to kill time between 1:30-4:45 pm. I feel like I'm in the adult Babysitter's Club. The parents say what they need and then one of us takes the job. We have a chat app we use to talk to each other now. At this point I have no idea if I need to do meals or what, but I'm ok with pretty much whatever. I'll bring a game or two from my house, too since they are near dd's age. I decided if I do the fall fest booth one thing I could make is scrunchies. I never got around to visiting the Asian market again, but I did make chicken stir fry this weekend and the kids liked it. Dd doesn't like cooked carrots but ate them up in the dish. I put some in the freezer for their next visit. I don't think it's as good as some of the restaurants, but I'm pretty sure the sauces used are the key to replicating that and I just used soy sauce. Plus the cooking oil? I use olive oil because it has a higher smoke point.

How you deal with a narcissist in court is a whole topic. There are books and webinars. I’ve attended a couple and bought books on the topic. I even tried to join the One Mom’s Battle Facebook but drew the line when they asked for my court document numbers and stuff. Maybe that’s why they brought it up??? I did not tell my lawyer’s secretary anything about my personal life. I did tell my lawyer stuff. I said I think he’s a narcissist. My therapist says he views things in terms of winning or losing. I was blown away when Xh agreed to a couple things in the settlement but also knew he maybe was just trying to get it over with. It doesn’t mean he was doing it to be nice. Who knows what was in his mind. He wasn’t prepared to pay for court I think. I was. But I wasn’t prepared to pay the judge’s standard child support figure. So it was in both our favors to sign a settlement. One webinar I attended (not a legal topic one but dealing with narcissists) they told me that the narcissist won’t give you something when you ask but when you say it doesn’t matter to you that’s when they’ll offer it. So basically knowing how they think you can get your way. I know if I offer Xh help he’ll never take it. And yet acts surprised if I decline his. I know if I had just told him I didn’t care about this household item he would have probably given it to me lol I told him I wanted a dang bookmark and he said no then another time randomly gave it to me. Like it has to be on their terms, they have to be in control. That is relevant in court. Cruel and inhuman treatment is relevant in fault divorce. But most won’t be tangible evidence so you will have no grounds. And you definitely don’t need to say narcissist in court… just point out the facts, behaviors.

The question is did she call him a narcissist just because of the puppy example? Or she was just referring to him as one because of other reasons and that was just the latest annoying selfish thing he’d done? That alone would definitely not have me refer to anyone as a narcissist. Impulsive, selfish… sure.