Sometimes having someone say it aloud is necessary for one to get the message at all (something that won't be visibly realized) but other times it's just too aggressive and defensive to be helpful. In the case where it's done aggressively (ie. upthread "my child will never talk" may have been delivered aggressively) I assume this person is hurting deeply and just wants some level of acknowledgement to their struggle?? I'm not saying it's right, but it's probably more useful to the listener to think, "this person is lashing out from hurt" rather than what some of our gut reactions might be. I'm still working on this myself.

I don't know what's worse, one upping with strangers or inside your own family. I try to brush it off and make mental notes about who I can open up with. People are hurting and looking for an outlet I guess. Maybe they think giving perspective is helpful, but sometimes it's not (or not done very tactfully?). Someone looking for a missing item at the Lost and Found might be upset until they overhear the woman mourning the loss of a house that burned down with all her belongings. The silver lining thing can be annoying at times, but you figure people probably mean well. (At least you're not dealing with X). At the end of the day the best thing I can do is use my experiences to help guide me as to how to best respond to others. I don't know where I heard it, but the phrase, "is this helpful?" was suggested as something to ask yourself before speaking. At my best I remember to do that. One of my own sisters is quite frankly kinda poor at offering comfort. I imagine there are lots of people like her that mean no harm.

I think a lot of people dislike math. If it's hard or uninteresting maybe discussing poor grades is a weird way of bonding over their contempt for the subject. /shrug I suspect that when students do this they often don't have the support/motivation/encouragement at home. Maybe their parents hate math, too. Maybe their parents don't value or pay attention to grades that much (for whatever reason. The child doesn't show them, etc.). Maybe they can't get help outside of class so they feel stuck. Ds was happy to do math in class one day and a girl in class said, "ew" or that he was weird or such. He's only in third grade. I can imagine the peer pressure to dislike a subject if this attitude creeps up over the years. I could ask my father for help in math (he has a master's in math and taught it briefly) when I was in school, but I didn't like to because he'd substitute shapes for numbers and give a long drawn out explanation. We probably butted heads in the process. Still I knew that if I had to get help I could. I am sure lots of kids don't have that option.

Except for those things like Amazon Smile and events where a percentage of the proceeds go to XYZ charity. Or even certain items in stores like the stuffed animals by the register at Kohl's (Pattington Bear, Curious George, Madeline). I think the matching books are labeled charity as well. I noticed the charity description on the stuffed toys in an online description once. Granted these might be very very small percentages, but they are items people might be wanting to buy already (like dinner at a restaurant where proceeds to go to a charity). I guess you could look at it more than one way for canceling Christmas parties. If the company can't afford it, then I don't see why they should have it. They just shouldn't let the catering people, etc. know last minute. In fact, unless they use the same places year after year, it shouldn't even be on the books so no one to disappoint.

Ah I see. Yes, that can make a difference in my shopping choices. As for the car, well, dh sat down and negotiated price in one place (not the car with the hump) and we ended up leaving without a sale. Pretty sure the negotiating ended with the sales person being rude/ticked off because we wouldn't accept the offer. You could argue we wasted the sales person's time, but we left much happier and with a sale somewhere else on a different car.

Those that feel badly about using the store's resources... are you worried about the sales person or the store on a bigger scale? Because when I was the employee, I didn't work commission and it really didn't hurt my feelings if you didn't buy lol. You probably helped me pass the time if I was helping you look. The things I *was* evaluated on was my store credit card applications and/or protection plans depending on which retail place I was working at. Trust me, just because someone wears a uniform and looks like an expert on the TV commercials doesn't mean they had a lot of training. I think people give sales associates too much credit about using their precious time. Please, I loved walking away from the register to assist people on the floor. Maybe I'm just weird :) I once went to a running shoe store. They assessed my gait and gave me limited shoe options based on the results. Of those shoes recommended for my plantar fasciitis, there was really only one that was a good fit for me. Problem was it was $120. I had to think about it. They were quite frankly, kinda ugly. Well, I felt badly about it and bought some expensive socks we had talked about. I thought about the shoes and ended up finding them on sale online for $90. Did I feel like I did something wrong? Maybe? But I rarely spend that much on shoes. Especially ones that were more a necessity than a true want. I would guess that shoes sales people are more likely to work on commission, hence my purchasing the socks. ETA: We might do car shopping weird? Like a previous poster stated, we went to more than one car lot. Yes, there was online research involved, but we still ended up at two lots. And I'm glad we didn't buy the first car. It had a huge hump in the floorboard by the driver's feet. I told dh it drove me nuts and he said he'd mainly be driving it. Well, as it turns out I drive the car more often and I'm glad I don't have the darn hump LOL

Well since we're talking about groceries and budget, just throwing this out there if it applies to anyone, there's a Kroger Mega Sale going on. I'm about to hit it up. Gotta buy items in sets of 5 to get $5 off. Doesn't have to be five of the same thing, just five from their giant list. I'm a bit overwhelmed, gonna poke around and see what products we normally buy are included. I've never done this, just heard about it recently. http://www.krogerkrazy.com/2017/03/buy-5-save-5-kroger-mega-sale-full-inclusion-list Yes, it's very sad that organic doesn't necessarily mean pesticide-free. If it's the environment we're worried about, I really shouldn't even drink almond milk. I've tried rice, hemp, cashew, etc. Dh bought banana milk recently but I didn't try it. Apparently it was really high in sugar, though. I really don't consume that much milk at least.

We have a Sam's club membership. They sell these gigantic insulated bags right by the check out. I think they range from $5-$8? The blue bags have a white interior like the kind you see in a lot of lunch bags. My purple bag has a silver lining and I think it's supposed to be better for keeping in heat or cold. Dh deliberately leaves the bag in the trunk when we're at the store. I brought them to him once and he said he didn't forget them, he likes to bag them once he's at the car lol. So I guess if you don't care about bagging in the parking lot, you just have to remember to put the bags in the trunk. They also sell the Clever Crate which is our new best friend. It folds flat. I use it when I don't want stuff rolling all over the trunk space and/or use it to carry things into the house. Depending on your local options you may have to pay more for that type of bag or that type of crate, but I know I've seen the crate on Amazon. (ok all these items have a plastic element I think with the insulation portion and of course the crate, but they are reusable) I have never noticed milk in glass in Whole Foods, but I haven't really looked. If I am buying for myself I get lactose-free milk and I prefer the small shelf stable cartons because of the size and storage options. That's cool that you can get $2 back when you return the glass bottle. I don't really understand how they can afford to do that. I literally have not seen my milk closer than a 30 mile radius and my nearest Whole Foods is an hour away. I have been a handful of times.

I see. Well it's not as practical for me (or at least for my sanity I don't know if I could do it. One more thing to clean more often). We don't always buy diaper genie trash bags so sometimes I have to put dirty diapers/wipes in the bathroom trash. Then we might clean the shower drain and toss hair in there. Just stuff like that makes it better with a bag. My cat's litter box usually has its own bag liner as well because it seems to cut down on damage to the actual cat box and potential scratches/odors. I don't change her bag super often, though because I can just scoop til I'm ready to start all over. We generate too much trash. We cannot recycle so I have to throw all bottles/cartons etc. into the can even if I don't bag them. If we didn't get grocery bags from some of our shopping stores then yes, I would probably make more effort to go without the bags. I could try better to remember to take my canvas bags into Walmart to cut down on the number I come home with now.

We try to keep bags and/or our Clever Crate in the trunk (mainly for frozen/cold food), but yes, I do use disposable bags for bagging up the cat litter and lining my household trashcans like in the bathroom. I guess people that don't use bags don't line their little trash cans?? I mean in all seriousness, if you don't get grocery bags what do you use?

A couple winters ago I bought ds some flannel sheets. Turns out he didn't like the fabric. Dh doesn't like flannel, either. Ugh.

These comments are funny. I have a bad habit of washing bedding later in the day or forgetting about it. Then when it's time for bed I may remember that something is still in the dryer and I'm so tired I'd rather just put the spare set on than wait for the dryer to finish. I don't have a linen closet. I will fold my sheets and place them in one of the bins when I get around to it. I would like to downsize the number of items/bins though lol. I have two sets for our master bedroom. I have extra bedding in various places in the house (storage bins under beds and one under the futon for the futon mattress). I think I have too much. I'm also trying to figure out what to get rid of. We no longer own a queen bed, but still own a queen futon which is the only reason I've hung onto the queen set. They can fit on ds' full, but not very well. I agree with the thought that if you have more than one bed that fits one size, you don't need too many spares. But if every bed is a different size then you may want a spare for each.

human skeletons real vs fake makes a difference. I mean, a few on the lawn for Halloween is different than say, crime scene photos to me. But I don't think I'd need to leave the room. Now I feel stupid for admitting this, what are most skeletons on display made of? The ones in classrooms. I remember drawing those in art. They are probably some sort of cast?

Maybe they were figuring it was just the Irish that would be interested :laugh: Years ago we used to do a corned beef and cabbage meal with my grandma. I miss those. We went to Crackle Barrel one year for theirs.

Lol. I'm Irish but who cares, it shouldn't apply to some and not others partaking in a holiday meal. I'd probably order the meal to-go and save it in the fridge for the next day.

I couldn't imagine feeling comfortable dating someone that was still married (not that anyone's asking), even if they were not really together (lived apart, little to no contact, etc.). Society doesn't seem to be bothered by this if what I see on TV is any indication, though. So it wouldn't surprise me if people define affair much differently. Despite that, I tend to avoid the word affair unless there's a more secretive nature. Now I see the word "legal" upthread in front of the word separation so maybe I'm just thinking of people using the word separation loosely. I don't really know the ins and outs of how people tend to use the term. If it's court ordered or not usually.

I couldn't find a hard and fast rule about hypoglycemia which is why I say I might supplement on Good Friday with another thing. I haven't taken an official test, but I appear to be and my mother is. Growing up as far as I know my mom fasted but not sure how close together her meals were, etc. Anyway, yes, there are several exceptions. http://www.catholic.org/lent/abfast.php I remember one time we went to an event where all they had was meat pizza and my parents told us to just eat it because of the circumstances (or I guess we could pick it off).

And just in case there's any confusion... the Church doesn't define seafood as meat. And around here you're allowed alligator.

Well, let's just say I was in my 20s before someone informed me of the "right" way to fast :laugh: Growing up my parents weren't that strict. I mean, we couldn't eat meat and we were supposed to limit our food, but they didn't give me the speech about this small meal or snack plus that small one should not equal exceed a full meal. What I read earlier today was basically one full meal and then two lesser things that together don't equal your one full meal? I'm scrupulous. This drives me nuts. What's a meal?! I really hate the way rules are worded. http://www.catholic.org/lent/abfast.php *the college student told me equal I think. This link says exceed.

I kind of gave myself a pass last Lent. Dd wasn't a young baby, but I figured our bodies still need fuel to nurse. It's between you and God. He'll know your intentions. I packed ds non-meat today and plan to serve a non-meat dinner, but if push comes to shove I will let the kids eat something else (not sure if they'll eat what is planned). When I worked in a daycare run by a Catholic woman the kids got fish sticks every Friday. I kind of laughed to myself at that as they were so young and not all Catholic. But hey, whatever works.

I didn't fast when I was nursing. I also believe myself to be hypoglycemic. I've actually been reading about the rules today to see what is a good fit for me. I might even forgo the level of fasting on Good Friday and substitute it/supplement with another thing like no internet or tv that day. I don't do well when I don't eat throughout the day. I urge you to just eat normally today. You can observe Lent in another capacity. It might affect your milk.

Sorry, I was just reading a snapshot of what you had posted which was quoted upthread. I guess I completely missed the context:

I wouldn't conclude that exercising a lot = needing less calories. It would actually make me think you need more, or are entitled to more (per MFP, anyway). You work up an appetite and need fuel. Am I the only one that has watched a video of The Rock eating meals? Looks like he has to eat a lot.

I didn't see all the replies before. I am actually relieved that others felt the numbers were too low as well. It's certainly interesting to read about. Now if I can get dh to help me fix our Kinect I might be able to start my in home exercises again. Stupid thing is asking for some update and I don't even use it online! :glare:

That would have me eating less than 1200 a day. MyFitnessPal and other sites suggest a woman should eat a min. of 1200 daily. When I was tracking my calories with the site I was miserable and when I exercised it didn't feel like it helped much because I would end up eating after working out and canceling out any progress (probably had to do with what time of day I exercised, too. If I exercised earlier in the day I had more time to plan out the rest of my calories?). The only thing that really helped me manage the calories was drinking water to free up more calories for food. Well, that and eating things that are generally healthier like a big helping of veggies or such. Basically I am not very good at following the criteria for losing weight and the plans all had me losing less than a lb a week which feels like very, very slow progress.