It's like this in the financial industry, too... and surely government as well... it's a bit nerve-wracking to think that people in really important positions are physically on the verge of breakdowns! I hope your DH isn't as stressed as that.

Thank you, Lanny! That info is really helpful. I'm going to go back and re-read what you wrote. I'm trying to convince DH that he might have to take a more entry-level job for a time to get experience. Based on what you said, it might not be that easy to get something entry-level when you have a PhD, because people assume you won't want to do that. Huh. Tricky. Where is my winning lottery ticket?!

Oh, no. I'm very sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

Haha, yeah, high stress is a no. We have trouble with just regular stress around here! The unrealistic expectations of CEOs sounds a lot like higher ed administrators who think you can teach 150 students well, give them individual attention, do research, AND serve the school. I dunno, it seems like all jobs are increasing workloads and expectations. It certainly feels like that working in K-12. I wonder when people will finally be unable to do "all the things," and will employment change?

That's what I suggested, but apparently it's "boring"??

Some kind of online teaching would definitely be great - although it's hard to make a living wage that way. He's been investigating edutech companies like IXL and things that are used in schools.

My DH is about to make a career change. For the first time, we’re relocating because of MY job, so he needs to find something to do in Maine. Since there aren’t a lot of job opportunities in his field in the area, he’s looking for remote work. We planned on this when I accepted the job, and have set a tentative goal of December for him finding a new job - although we’d really like it to be sooner. When I looked for a new job for myself, I was primarily trying to find a way to get him out of his job - I never in a million years thought we would have him leave a stable job without another one lined up, but there was no helping that because he was just TOO stressed. I was seriously concerned for his mental health, which has thankfully bounced back quite a bit in recent weeks. DH has a PhD in math. He’s been working as a non-tenured professor for the last four years. He likes teaching, but the increasing workload of academia was getting to him (to put it mildly), and he’s also starting to fall out of love with higher ed in general. His classes had 40 or more students, and he taught 4 classes each semester, so he never felt like he was having any meaningful interactions with his students, and he was always rushed trying to answer their emails, rushed in office hours, rushed, rushed, rushed. He does NOT handle pressure very well, particularly if he feels like he’s shortchanging someone’s education because of time constraints. He is very meticulous and has high standards for himself, which has served him well in his career so far, but it’s also come at a cost emotionally. Many of DH’s friends from graduate school are in data science or programming. DH is quite a good programmer, has been for years, and has also been dabbling in machine learning for the past few months, just out of personal interest. He is looking for remote work in data science, data engineering, and even some math curriculum design. It seems to me that it might be hard to break into data science coming from a purely academic background, since every job requires a previous related job. I’m a tad concerned, but trying to avoid a full-on freak out, especially since I’m really excited about my new job and want to enjoy it! The abundance of knowledge on this forum continues to amaze me, so I’m hopeful some of you might know a lot more about these fields than we do. Thank you in advance!! You guys are the best ?

PeterPan, I’m a fan of Jo Boaler as well. There’s a pretty active FB group centered around it called Youcubed. You may want to check it out ? The Youcubed website has lots of activities, and many, many, many of them are “low floor, high ceiling,” meaning they can be as simple or as complex as the child makes them. Another fantastic resource is Math4Love, makers of the popular game Prime Climb. Their free lessons just blow my mind. https://mathforlove.com/lesson-plan/ I’d say definitely take your DS and just go wild with growth mindset!

This is so nice of you. Every time there is food at school, my coworkers and I are so thankful and excited! For breakfast, I’d say something that’s not messy. There’s nothing worse than starting the day with a stain on your clothes (been there, done that... often). Muffins, bagels with cream cheese, etc. are appreciated but not messy.

I used my $10 from shopping at Whole Foods to buy something on Amazon that was less than $10... ha ha. What’s this $5 coupon?

I've been following this topic with interest. Creating a positive learning environment is so important to me - but I've never gone as far as to research parts of the brain and their functions, as far as reducing stress, etc. That's a really great idea. In my class this year, I had a bunch of kids that had a bit of a rough time last year. My #1 goal was for everyone to be HAPPY and non-stressed. I didn't make things ultra fun or anything, but I did make sure that stress levels were low. If I saw signs of stress, I backed off. Switched topics, made things easier for the next question, added extra scaffolding, etc. With schoolwork, I didn't do "errorless" learning, because making mistakes is valuable (and being able to deal with mistakes is valuable too!), but I did make sure there was a very high success to failure ratio. Even though I find the "growth mindset" mania a little annoying, I do appreciate a reminder that failure can lead to learning. I actually hate making mistakes and feeling embarrassed in front of people, so it felt a little contrived for me to talk about how great failure is, but I did make an effort to talk about it positively. We watched a lot of Magic School Bus in which Miss Frizzle is constantly saying, Take Chances, Make mistakes! About halfway through the year, I heard kids saying that when they made mistakes. I also heard kids say, "Oh man, I made a mistake. Oh well!" And this was a serious win for kids that might have shut down or freaked out at any error at the beginning of the year. I talked a lot with the kids about how making mistakes is normal, and how doing hard things and failing at them is better than only trying easy things. I almost talked myself into it! Lol. I wonder if kids, being younger and more malleable, are actually receptive to these ideas. Can they really come to believe that making mistakes is valuable? Even if a kid is able to just handle making mistakes, even if they still think it's unpleasant... that's a win. And really, you just have to make mistakes to learn, and teachers and parents have to let kids make mistakes, just in daily life... if you spill something, you have to figure out what to do about it. If you can't find something, you have to figure out another thing that can serve the same function. When kids were ready, I would purposefully set them a task that I knew would frustrate them... but VERY, very mildly frustrate. That's the "zone of proximal development" and all that. Sometimes I would accidentally set a task that was just a smidge TOO hard.... and then I felt bad about it. PeterPan, I really want to look at that book you mentioned at the top. I think stress is the #1 thing that makes kids unable to learn. Once a kid is even MILDLY anxious, in my opinion, their performance goes down, and their ability to learn is just gone.

Hi Manhattan Mom, I’m so sorry you’ve got so much stress to handle. I agree with you that your boys should stay in their current schools. For the past four years, I’ve worked at a school for kids with learning disabilities. Many of them are on the autism spectrum, and some of them have strong outbursts like your son. I think it would be really challenging for you to do everything he needs at home - at school, he has a whole team of people working with him, challenging and supporting him, and constantly strategizing ways to help him meet his goals. Having a whole team of adults is so valuable. It sounds to me like he hasn’t been there very long? I have a feeling you’ll see big changes the longer he stays there. I agree with other posters that focusing on the emotional/social aspects of his life are most important right now. He’s clearly a bright boy, and can handle academics just fine, and even math with support. You can continue to challenge him intellectually at home, but I wouldn’t pressure yourself to come up with any specific curriculum. Over on the Learning Challenge board, there’s some discussion of diet influencing behavior. If you’re interested, you could head over there and post. Some people have also been talking about doing detective work with DNA analysis to find better med/supplement matches. My heart goes out to you and your family. I hope you will find lots of helpful information on this forum!

I read a blog by a mom who has a son with autism. I think he’s about 9 or 10 now. She’s a great writer, and I enjoy following her journey. Anywho, she does a lot with diet, and experimenting with things- salicylates were something she wrote about, too. I’m not sure if she’s still doing low-sal, but I bet you could email her. https://findingmykid.com/tag/salicylates/

For some reason, all the weddings I’ve been to have been far away - either a plane ride away, or a 4-5 hour drive. Either scenario involves 2 nights in a hotel. It’s expensive!! In situations like this, I really feel like my presence is the gift.

Wow, the things people come up with! Genius.

This book looks AMAZING!!!!!

Is this something done at a regular eye doc?

Oh, I love Trixie Belden. Enid Blyton's books (there are a lot!) are very wholesome and have a mix of female and male protagonists (usually a group of kids). The Secret 7 is one of her series. It's not a mystery, but I also loved the Noel Streatfield books - Ballet Shoes, Theater Shoes, etc. all with female protagonists.

Oh, and Primary Phonics readers are wonderful. And pretty cheap ? https://www.rainbowresource.com/prodlist?subject=phonics/5&category=primary+phonics/795

High Noon has wonderful decodable books ?

I have used and liked: Ecover (gets an A from EWG), Seventh Generation (gets a C), and Biokleen (gets an A). My grocery store now sells a brand called Better Life. I LOVE it. It's not that expensive, and it lasts a long time. Highly recommend that one! Also gets an A from EWG.

I had a similar sounding thing, but under my arms... ouch! Anti-fungals didn’t work for me (the grocery store kind), but apple cider vinegar did. I diluted it so it was just enough that I could tolerate it. The first couple times burned like heck, but then it felt so much better. I’m not sure I’d do it on open sores, though. Maybe do a bit of research on it.

As far as working with mom, well... you may have to employ some intense bribing ? You can also invest in a visual timer, pick a lesson length and then stick with it. That may soothe some of his anxiety, since the lessons will just end at the ending time, no wish-washy interminable lessons.

>2 years is horrible! I wonder why that’s seen as reasonable. Grr. I’d do the PAST at home, and see what happens, and then start at the beginning of a reputable, Orton-Gillingham-based spelling program. I’m not familiar with All About Spelling, but others here are. I have a particular fondness for the Wilson program, partially because the materials are so cheap. I also find it easy to follow. The Recipe for Reading is another inexpensive book that is well-organized, and goes through elementary grades of spelling I believe.

Since he’s reading above grade level, does his public school not give him services for reading? What about spelling? I would first request a special education evaluation, if you haven’t already done that. It sounds to me like he’s not distinguishing the sounds within words very well, and maybe he doesn’t have a good grasp of different sounds, either. Is it mostly vowel sounds he messes up, or just everything? How does he do with basic phonological awareness tasks, like rhyming and clapping syllables? The PAST is an informal phonological awareness screener that can help you get some idea of where his troubles are coming from. It’s not as good as “official” tests like the CTOPP, but you can do it at home. He might do fine with some parts and not-fine with others. When I give it to kids, I usually break it up into a couple chunks given over a few days. http://www.idealconsultingservices.com/FORMS/Data Meeting Forms/Phonological_Awareness_Skills_Test_PAST.pdf Sorry he’s so frustrated ?